I am 23 and have come to the conclusion that I’m simply too boring and awkward to ever have friends or any type of romantic relationship. How should I prepare for a life of loneliness and isolation? What would be some fun hobbies to distract myself? I have about $50,000 saved up because I still live with my mom, but I’ve decided I’m going to shoot myself in the head with a shotgun once she’s gone. In the meantime, I need something to distract me. What would you guys recommend?
You could get hobbies, go to the gym, go drinking, whatever. Warning though this may make you more social
>hobbies
I like video games anime and I’m getting in 3d printing and 3d animation
>gym
I go to the gym
What other hobbies would you recommend? Something I can really sink my teeth into.
Anon, there are literally hundreds of activities out there that people will form niche groups over. You just sort of have to start trying things either at random or based on personal preference until you land on something that gives you what you are looking for. There is no guarantee that this will actually happen, though, but I'm quite certain that just forcing yourself to do random things will teach you the lessons you need to learn to be more comfortable with yourself.
They absolutely fucking do not. You are just a coward who is afraid of trying new things for fear of humiliation or judgement. Well-adjusted individuals learn how to cope with these things at a younger age, anon. You seem to think that experiencing defeat will destroy you-- it won't. It'll only teach you that you can ALWAYS keep moving forward no matter what.
You should put "I've decided I'm going to shoot myself in the head with a shotgun" on a t-shirt, and then follow 's advice
Some people are just born with it, you know?
if you're boring and weird thats just your destiny.
All the extroverted people you see out there?
They were never shy, awkward teenagers with acne. They always had massive balls and never worked on them selfes for it bro.
not op but i saw how normal teenagers developed compared to me, we are not the same. socialization hapened for them almost effortlessly and it never did for me
ofc it comes effortless to some. But the mayority still suffered for their social skills. The difference is that some people give up at the sight of the other "normal" teenagers and some ppl refuse to.
This is true most normies don’t have to jump through multiple hoops just to get something like basic friendship
>no teenagers ever went through an awkward phase, we were the first!
The delusions on this board grow stronger by the day.
the point i was making is that every teenager goes through that phase. Some just pussy their way out of being a neet by further isolating themselfes. ppl like op are the result.
Sorry, didn't recognize the sarcasm I guess. And that's because there are people here who really think like that, as you agree.
And yeah when people like OP keep in their "awkward teen phase" into their 20s and beyond, that's when we see real problems. These are like people flash-frozen in time.
But I’m not a NEET though I have a shitty warehouse job I’ll never get anything better than this though since that requires social skills as well
I dont understand.
Why would you think that you will never get anything better? This thinking seems very counterproductive to me.
>better jobs require social skills and charisma
>I have none
Pretty simple
There are a bunch of jobs you dont need social skills for.
Bro its called social SKILLS, its not rocket science just ask some girls for directions untill you get used to talking to ppl, then join a club of any kind and learn interacting with humans.
>talk to random people
>thru immediately detect my lack of natural social ability that most other people
>they stop talking to me
Anon I’ve heard and seen it all I’m simply too different there’s no escaping my fate.
Bro believe me, you gotta start somewhere.
No, actually, you see, as a retard the same kind I am, you just do that a lot and sooner or later you will end up with some people that perfectly understand what you're doing.
Go on, it does cost time and energy, but it's definitely worth it.
And then you end up with friends. You always have someone to talk to about anything that bothers you..or excites you.
It will feel better this way.
>I have a shitty warehouse job
OP, don't shoot yourself. Get any other job than working in a factory or a warehouse.
That will help you.
And visit my thread or your mother will die in her sleep.
im 29 and its only gotten much much worse for me socially. i can barely talk to a cashier at the grocery store
What was the last challenging thing you did?
tried to talk to a librarian about the book i wanted to get and failed miserably
How the fuck did you "fail" at asking the librarian for a book? How exactly are you measuring success in a situation like this? Bringing her to your house and fucking her brains out?
i wanted to tell her about the book. before i could tell her she literally asked why im getting it, and my mind blanked and i mumbled something about google search. you dont get what its like to not be able to talk to people
>i wanted to tell her about the book
Why, so you could check it out? Or so you could bother her while she's working?
i just wanted to be friends with her ok? yes i thought she was cute but i just simply wanted to tell her about a book because she seemed curious. and i couldnt do it. and this is the cherry on top of the mountain of failures that my life is made up of. some people are fucking retards and are going to be alone for life. i will never stop trying to improve socially but it just seems totally pointless as my social skills are just getting worse and worse
It's not easy to be friends with someone unless you spend a lot of time with them, anon. The idea that she was supposed to like you and befriend you after a single encounter is not realistic at all. You have to go there a lot and somehow manage to display that you are a person of value; a person worth knowing. Sadly, based on the way you describe yourself, it would seem that not even YOU think of yourself as a person worth knowing.
dude i cant even communicate a single idea to a stranger, that is what i was upset about. im past hte point of no return with my social skills. i am a hermit now. nobody will want to talk to me after the first impression is botched because im a nervous piece of shit homosexual that cant talk
This is as cringe as those guys who are like "How can I ask for my waitress' number without being creepy?" Just don't do it, you're not going to impress a librarian with your taste in books anyway.
dude i rehearsed telling her about this book the day before and she asked me the fucking question i was rehearsing and i got so nervous that i couldnt talk to her at all. i didnt ask for her number, or to hang out, i merely wanted to communicate like a human being and i couldnt. you dont get what its like to be that anxious
There's medication to help you with that. Seek therapy or a psychiatrist if it is genuinely concerning to you. Once you have a sense of what it's like to be a normal person, then you can ween yourself of the meds and learn how to do these things without them.
Why are you rehearsing a conversation to have with a librarian? Either you have an actual reason to talk to her or you don't. They have self checkout at my library so I have never interacted with a librarian even once, though I might have to soon because I want to change some of the details on my account.
because i interacted with her before and i wanted to have a conversation with someone as i am extremely socially isolated normally
maybe you should start with normal people instead of cute girls you like.
Its like starting a game at the endboss
i try to do that too and i fucking suck at it. i honestly feel like im at the point of no return. no matter how much i go into social situations like jobs or volunteering my social skills are so rusty no one will want to interact with me after meeting me
i try to talk to people randomly and most of them look like they want me to fuck off. or i get nervous and shut down. its over. im mentally ill and i am just fucked. its over
Yeah, probably.
Either seek therapy and improve your life or kill yourself.
ive already got in therapy and anti anxiety meds just made me less talkative somehow
Then they aren't working, seek new meds or a different psychiatrist.
What does getting nervous and shut down entail?
I worked in many social jobs and you wouldnt believe me how often i fucked up or got myself in super awkward situations.
When you get older you realize, that noone acutally thinks about you. The thing you said to the book chick, she actually forgot like 5 mins after that 100%
yeah tahts true man but i just shut down and ignore people and dont talk to them when i know i should and want to. i never make friends when other people are making friends and talking and making stuff happen. im just FUCKED and im going to die alone
Bro you are young
you have cash
you have a job
bruv you just need to gain some confidence and self respect.
do something challenging to gain it.
When i get into situations im afraid of i can always compare to things i did in the past and survived.
Lazy man. You still can go ahead, make friends, and enjoy that little shitshow that is your life.
>talk to the cashier
For what purpose? They're just there to ring you up, not talk to you about your shitty life.
You guys don't seem to realize that there is a time and place for socializing. Practicing is great, but you absolutely shouldn't expect it to go swimmingly and to somehow start making friends out of nowhere. That's not how any of this works.
The problem is, that someone who has been antisocial for a year isnt prepared when the time and place for socializing arises.
>when the time and place for socializing arises
Like, when? If people don't know you, then chances are pretty good that they don't want to socialize with you (unless you are extremely physically attractive).
I think its less about being physically attractive and more about having a fun and interesting conversation.
You normaly go to a place where the other attendents are also looking for socializing. (club, party, ..) Then you talk to them and see if you got any shared intrests, if yes then have a fun conversation about that interest and go with the flow.
Most times the other iniduvidual will want to continue the conversation and if not go next.
I'm talking about 100% random encounters while out doing things like buying groceries or checking out library books. I can almost guarantee that no one will want to interact with you for more than 1 minute at the most unless you are SIGNIFICANTLY more interesting than the task they are currently focused on accomplishing. I can't imagine anything coming out of a person's mouth that will make them a more pleasant target of attention than them being absolutely gorgeous.
In a social setting where people are there for the purpose of socializing, then yes-- you can definitely expect people to be more open to such interactions. But in places where people have no good reason to want to engage with you, it makes no fucking sense to expect them to understand your desperate need for a meaningful interaction with another human being.
I can almost guarantee that noone can almost guarantee anything about social encounters.
You dont have to find new friends while grociery shopping, all im saying is to get comfortable takling to people. And the best way to do this is by talking to people as often as you can.
As long as you're also able to accurately assess their attitude towards you, simply talking to people won't improve your ability to communicate with others. Just because you force everyone you encounter to have a conversation with you doesn't mean that they'll want to. Most people won't, in fact. It's in learning that lesson that you start to get better at figuring out how socializing works.
Why shouldnt the act of communicating not improve the ability to communicate?
Simply communicating is not enough, you also have to be able to read their reaction to your communicating with them and to learn from that.
There is a time and place for everything, and forcing a badly timed discussion down a person's throat without realizing what you are doing is NOT going to help you improve. It takes deep reflection and rigorous self-critique to get better at this.
>t takes deep reflection and rigorous self-critique to get better at this.
no it takes being born non-autistic. there is no cure for autism. most people are comfortable enough to talk and can do it with no effort. some people are just doomed
Yeah, it's hard as fuck for an autist I suppose. There's a high-functioning autistic pharmacist I work with who absolutely shoves shitty conversations down my throat ALL THE TIME, but I try to engage with them anyway because A) I'm polite and B) because I have to be there and deal with him until the end of my shift anyway. He's not a bad guy, but it can really be annoying to have one-sided discussions with him about things I know absolutely nothing about or don't care about.
who talked about a discussion?
Im talking about chatting about the girth of wattermellons with eldery ladys at the grocery store.
It actually doesnt take anything to get better at this. You just talk to a bunch of people untill you coincidentally talk to some cute girl.
Its not rocket science..
So the real victory you are aiming for here is simply speaking a few words with a cute girl? I guess that can drastically improve the confidence of some of the wretched beings ITT or otherwise. Fair enough, I can't argue against it.
how the fuck are you supposed to go to a party when you're socially isolated? i would love to go to a party but i can't
There are places out there with a cover fee (clubs, bars, etc.) that will let you party with people as long as you have the money. It helps if you enjoy drinking.
you dont get it fucking NORMIE I fail massively at every social interaction i get into how the fuck am i supposed to live like this
we're your friends THOUGH
It’s nice to think that but at the end of the day you guys are just strangers on the internet
aren't "friends" just strangers you're familiar with change my mind
NTA, but friends are a very important part of life. Real friends.
>NTA, but friends are a very important part of life. Real friends
what do you call a "friend" prior to the initial meeting... anon i want you to think with all your brain wrinkles to process
>aren't "friends" just strangers you're familiar with change my mind
also not saying they're not important saying every stranger has the potential to be a new fren
aka reverse social control theory
You have to do that. Making friends is important and you will have a better life with them.
It's extremely difficult to make friends as you get older unless you make them from your job. Internet friends aren't real friends.
No.
Internet friends are real friends. One of my best buddies is an internet friend. Actually more than one, I have a couple from gaming.
If you insist, anon. I'd never consider someone I met online as a real friend because I'm not delusional and have plenty of friends IRL.
Are you OP though?
Real friends don't come often, you have to filter for that. Maybe you're incredibly lucky, but I doubt that.
I won't deny that I am lucky, but I don't think my experience is unusual. Only truly unfortunate people don't have the social skills to make friends as they grow up. Admittedly, retaining them is a whole different matter entirely as I am definitely an asshole in real life to most people except for those I genuinely care about.
That's all fine. Realistically, like 95% of LULZners are terrible with that and need to learn.
I don't think that number is accurate, tbh. From what I've seen abject weirdos are definitely in the minority on this website. This board is not an accurate representation of the website as a whole.
You may not like this. But it's perfectly fine to forget you.
I have absolutely no idea what this is supposed to mean lol.
>You have to do that. Making friends is important and you will have a better life with them.
no shit what do you think this implies
>aren't "friends" just strangers you're familiar with change my mind
>what do you call a "friend" prior to the initial meeting... anon i want you to think with all your brain wrinkles to process
& the answer was an acquaintance stoopid
you're reading comprehension will get better eventually but god damn you have selective reading or no comprehension whatsoever
you will never be happy without a girl. stop pretending you can manipulate your essence as a human to find company and intimacy, you can't. it's either fight for women, or a life of pain.
Like I said I’m too boring and awkward so I need to focus my energy into something else
That mindset is pretty much the polar opposite of being mentally healthy. You need to be happy with yourself, then you can drag other people in.
get a cool motorbike and tools
>I’m simply too boring and awkward to ever have friends or any type of romantic relationship.
You're boring and awkward because you have no hobbies, don't socialize with anyone, live with your mom, and plan on killing yourself when she dies.
Get some hobbies, join a club, join the local rec league, and volunteer somewhere.
true
if you've already decided you're eventually going to kill yourself and are a waste totally unconcerned with any type of legacy then you're truly free. try all kinds of drugs, try socializing all day every day trying different approaches, try jobs you've never dreamed of taking, take an art class your interested in, try living in a radically different culture and country than you're used to. you don't have the restrictions other people do if you're not concerned with thinking about the future at all so you have no excuse to try and carpe diem everyday you've got left
Unironically the best advice here
I don't recommend suicide but as someone who lives completely alone with no friends, I'm pretty happy just studying and playing video games.
Also, if you guys need practice talking to someone, seek out a THERAPIST. They are pretty much the ONLY people who have a reason to listen to some literal-who for an hour at a time. This is probably your only chance at improving social skills with positive reinforcement rather than constantly bothering other people with your irritating lack of social grace.
Damn, I can relate so much with this. I was at a bar with friends or rather just people who feel sorry for me so they bring me along, and we smoked weed which made me hyper-aware of how socially underdeveloped I am. Like, I have nothing in common with anyone. I just can't hold a conversation, can barely make small talk on a good day.
I also simply just never learned how to socialize.
Weed is a bad drug for people who have high anxiety. That level of "awareness" you were experiencing might have just been a hallucination. I've had plenty of experiences like that while smoking weed that I would never have felt otherwise.
Yeah, it's definitely not for me. I feel suicidal as fuck when I smoke it.
It's how I feel without it too though, it just multiplies whatever i'm feeling x10.
send me your 50k and then check out d00d
I have basically one friend but she’s unreliable due to struggles with depression I guess. Today’s my birthday and I’m supposed to have dinner with her at 6:30. She just responded though, she went off campus for something with her mom (she can’t drive) and it’s taking longer than expected, so all is good.
Watch lil wayne interviews