I'm in my mid-twenties and I feel like I am so mindbroken from a lifetime of dysphoria and loneliness that I am simply no longer capable of feeling any kind of strong emotion. If someone told me they loved me I would just feel numb. If I cuddled with someone I would just feel empty. I am merely a shell of a person, I have no sentience, I am a philosophical zombie who has just enough self-awareness to realize they exist but not enough to develop any kind of personhood. I'm a sentient mannequin who has learned to convincingly larp as a human, but not well enough to feel genuine human emotions. I have no internal world besides vague anxieties and insecurities that I don't know how to resolve. I'm literally not a person, I have no soul, I'm a flesh robot with a blank space where a personality should be.
I'm not even convinced I actually exist, I'm just observing the actions of a "human" who makes decisions without my input.
Anyone else know this feel?