just be confident


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when people say just be confident, they don't mean pull confidence out your ass. If you're feeling inconfident there must be something in your life causing that, and you should go work on fixing that/those things (this is naturally a very vague description, your issue can be a lot of things etc but the endgame is to solve them)

  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tbh its the exact opposite. If you build your confidece on other peoples perception, its gonna crumble down as soon as someone better comes along.

    Real confidence is literally transcendant. Being able to comfortably live in any shitty circumstance imaginable. To lose while still smiling. Real confidence comes from the philosophical notion that you are the omly thing that matters. Normies? Foids? Chads? Society? All in your head, only affects you as much as you let it.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I never said you should be perceived as a confident person by others, I just meant that if you feel like there is something fundamentally wrong in your life then you'll naturally be bad at socializing (and everything else as well) because it will affect your psyche. Not to say this is some secret forbidden technique knowledge, but most people don't understand how important their mood/feelings actually are in regards to their functionality

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, read over it again, misinterpreted a bit. Id agree with what you said, but
        >something is fundamentally wrong
        is in most cases just chasing after some idiotic ideal someone else set. If you just genuinely do whatever you want, there are few things wrong in your life.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      This this a thousand trillionfold.
      You will never be happy until you accept and embrace the shitty.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Gigachad mindset

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >if you're feeling inconfident there must be something in your life causing that

      no shit--it's because you're a fucking loser

      Confidence isn't independent of circumstance. In fact, it's entirely dependent on circumstance.

      Think about it like a maths exam. What makes you confident? Having listened during the lectures? Memorizing a few formulae? No. You have to practice. You have to do the problems until you get them right every time. The only way to KNOW that you're going to succeed is to verify a successful approach in advance.

      Similarly, no amount of thinking about socialization (or talking about it on a board full of social rejects) is going to produce a well-adjusted individual. You have to go out and talk to people. Fail until you have a working strategy.

      As for losing with a smile, that's not confidence--that's either denial or apathy. Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser. If you're truly confident, losing (unexpectedly) should shake you.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        The amount of confidence is literally bare minimum
        Its just there to say words
        >Hi how are you doing
        >would you like to grab some coffee?
        I dont understand people who try to make it seem like you need some bizarre Goku Kayoken SSJ God radiating energy to get through life. All that matters is to have ability to speak, to open mouth and make noises with it,
        People make it seem like it's powerlevels where there are more degrees of confidence but it's binary
        you are have 1 confidence and you can speak
        or 0 and cannot
        and going from 0 to 1 is as simple as speaking which most people are capable of doing no problem just dont get opportunity to do so

        >You have to go out and talk to people. Fail until you have a working strategy.
        I absolutely trucking hate naggers like you
        You know what you will learn by this?
        That people dont ever speak to a stranger that speaks to them outside. No one wants to fucking talk to someone outside if they dont know him
        There's no amount of confidence that matters here.
        Why do you think there are no ready guides and strategies when it comes to speaking with people this way? Because no one does it.
        You are a fucking weirdo loser

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Its just there to say words
          communication isn't just words you retard, gestures/body language/facial expressions/tone play a great part and you can't entirely control these things, especially if you feel pressured by the situation

          >I dont understand people who try to make it seem like you need some bizarre Goku Kayoken SSJ God radiating energy to get through life
          literally no one other than you said that, my whole advice was "go fix your shit, feel good about yourself and you'll be better"

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            its still very easy, and you can absolutely control each of them
            all it takes is to see how an example of a "confident person" gestures/body language/facial expressions/tone and then do that
            takes 1 minute

            There's nothing to fix. Except stuff like tone which is limited by vocal cords.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              you're such a spoiled fucking neet you have no comparable referrence to what being under pressure means, why do you think people crack in interrogation rooms you retard? because there is pressure on them, you can't "fake being confident" you'll only appear as someone who's faking being confident rather than someone actually being confident

              an actually confident person has quicker reactions and responses that come off naturally without any extra calculation, your ""learned"" confidence will be slower and delayed as you'll have to process how to come off confident, which will be off putting from the other person's perspective

              not to forget that you can't just learn to act a certain way without practice

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                You're not faking it. By having the same body language and talking, you are confident.
                There is no reactions or responses involved in confidence. There's nothing to process or learn or practice there.
                Everything that can be practiced, can be then written down to explain it to other e.g. you could write what reactions and responses would you have after practicing them
                But there's nothing to write there since there's nothing to practice in this regard

                >takes 1 minute
                You need to keep up the act of being confident every single moment you are with them. It isn't like you can just go back to being your insecure unsociable self when she agrees to have coffee with you

                So just be that way. It's just basic shit like keeping up your hands down, smiling and back straight. It doesn't hurt, it's not some heavy weight, it's just sitting in a slightly different position.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                >So just be that way. It's just basic shit like keeping up your hands down, smiling and back straight.

                Smiling NATURALLY is incredibly difficult to maintain if you don't actually feel that way.

                And "acting confident" also includes things like brazenly engaging with others even if you think they are or will be hostile, acting "upbeat" and "ready for anything" all the time even if you don't actually feel that way, mocking others sarcastically, etc.

                You think it boils down to standing up straight and giving a firm handshake, which is an incredibly weak boomer dad meme take.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                >"acting confident" also includes things like brazenly engaging with others even if you think they are or will be hostile
                I dont think so, it's just being untactfull. It's not confidence, it's just not understanding social etiquette. This is another thing you just do or do not do, nothing to practice. If you were tell yourself you will harass every person you see, its not a matter of practicing it, you just do it
                >acting "upbeat" and "ready for anything" all the time even if you don't actually feel that way,
                I dont see how this relates to being confident, just. And again its just smiling and being loud, very easy to do, something you can just start doing right now and nothing to be practiced
                >mocking others sarcastically, etc.
                and this is just being rude, once again nothing to practice if you were to start refering to your colleges per "you idiot" none of them would think you're confident just unpleasant

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                >You're not faking it. By having the same body language and talking, you are confident.
                no you retard, by measure confidence is the feeling in your head and the social aspect is just the effect, not the cause. thats like saying if you fake the symptoms you'll actually be sick

                >There is no reactions or responses involved in confidence. There's nothing to process or learn or practice there.
                there are reactions and responses in a conversation, since its a conversation everytime its your turn to talk you're both reacting and responding

                >Everything that can be practiced, can be then written down to explain it to other e.g. you could write what reactions and responses would you have after practicing them
                But there's nothing to write there since there's nothing to practice in this regard
                I swear to god you're some braindead brazilian esl retard or something, confident responses can be written down

                >maintaining non intimidating consistent eye contact with proper reactions to movement
                >using a wide variety of facial expressions
                >using your arm&hand movements to release pressure from the conversation and express measures and else
                >acting semi-uninterested to not be overbearing
                >wide range of word choices to show self confidence
                >cracking jokes to release pressure and seeming unbothered by your insecurities
                >having an overall laid back and uncaring approach as to not make the person walk on eggshells
                the list just goes on you spastic, hitting on a girl isn't just "going up to her and asking if she wants to have a cup of coffee", I assume you think like that because you never got past that point but if she says yeah sure lets go, then you'll have to maintain the attitude for an hour or two

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                >by measure confidence is the feeling in your head and the social aspect is just the effect
                No, its just how you act around others. There's no "faking" it either, if you act confident, you are confident. There's no acting involved, it has nothing to do with your head outside of making the decision to do it.
                If it was just about whats in your head, you wouldnt need bodylanguage or anything else since you'd be confident even if you didnt manifest it in any way.
                >reactions and responses in a conversation
                I dont see how confidence is related to this in any way. You could be confident and just have nothing to say or be unconfident but just happen to have something to add.
                >maintaining non intimidating consistent eye contact with proper reactions to movement
                you just look at her, no confidence required to do it
                >using a wide variety of facial expressionsusing your arm&hand movements
                >wide range of word choices to show self confidence
                Like what? If its in your head it shouldnt matter how you move your arms or what do you say, only your head
                >having an overall laid back and uncaring approach
                you can be unconfident and uncaring, in fact most depressed people are overall uncaring, it doesnt really matter
                >you'll have to maintain the attitude for an hour or two
                There's nothing to maintain afterwards, you just have the coffee and schedule next coffee

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                lil bro you actually got aspergers I'm not even gonna try putting anything into your thick skull

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              >takes 1 minute
              You need to keep up the act of being confident every single moment you are with them. It isn't like you can just go back to being your insecure unsociable self when she agrees to have coffee with you

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    At the end of the day, it's lame normalfag sophistry and should be ignored completely.

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Personally confidence just doesn't make sense to me at all. You can never know with 100% certainty that things will go well or that you'll make right choice

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Entirely right. But even if things dont go right, does being unconfident help you? If not, you should still be confident, even if you know you are going to fail kek.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >If not, you should still be confident, even if you know you are going to fail kek
        Exactly. But that's my problem with the OP. Confidence always comes from just pulling shit out of your ass lol.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >does being unconfident help you?
        to a degree yes, your lack of confidence in your ability to fly keeps you from jumping off a cliff, negative feelings are naturally supposed to redirect your focus on doing the right things the way you know them; though sometimes they clearly malfunction in the sense that you feel inconfident about something that was/is entirely out of your control and try to seek a solution to it in your own means

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          No, your knowledge that you cant fly keeps you from jumping. Nothing to do with confidence. But if you fell by accident, dying stoically and in acceptance of your life is a better death than being a screaming retard.

          >If not, you should still be confident, even if you know you are going to fail kek
          Exactly. But that's my problem with the OP. Confidence always comes from just pulling shit out of your ass lol.

          Pretty much, but I dont think thats a bad thing. Confidence just improves your life.

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is good advice.
    But to achieve true confidence you can also just accept yourself and the state of things outside of yourself, and don't suppress the pain of past trauma, accept it.
    If you never fix that and still pursue your dreams, you will be always dogged by your shadow. Look at examples like Mike Tyson, Andrew Tate.
    They are self-hating perfectionists. They never accepted the way things were, they never accepted themselves either. Even when they had it all.
    Tate exudes jumpy manlet syndrome
    and Tyson seems like he fuckin hates the guy he used to be.
    Both great fighters and achievers in their own right, but there could be better closure for them.

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    That's not true. What they're saying is to pretend that you feel like a successful and capable person even if you don't. How you appear to others is the part that matters.

    That said, your advice is plainly better than that anyway.

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    "Confidence" is just a buzzword.
    What people actually mean is "don't be a nervous/anxious/scared/cowardly".

    If you're constantly shaking, you let out a vibe that you fail constantly, that you don't have what it takes to deal with problems without getting BTFO by them. Either you:

    >1) suffered so much in the past that you became traumatized
    That means you didn't have the skills to properly dodge or fight dangers, thus being a probable loser.
    >2) you're so clueless that you're shaking with fear of a improbable theoretical danger
    Meaning you don't know what the fuck you are doing, hence will probably fail in whatever scenario anyway.

    People, especially women, want survivable battle bots by their side, when thinking of males. Paras lvl5 isn't an attractive prospect.

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Confidence comes from looking or feeling good, which is subjective. So just try to do things that will make you look or feel good and you will naturally feel more confident. Exercise, get some hobbies, some money and you'll have more confidence than you have now

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      *masturbates compulsively*
      *browses IBs all day*
      *fries brain from all the stimuli*
      *procrastinates everything that makes feel bad*

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Confidence comes from being naturally witty and having mostly the same interests and experiences as normies so no conversation topic ever leaves you completely unable to contribute. You can make up for lacking one with the other to a certain extent. What confidence looks like is just acting like you own the place, teasing people, making crass jokes knowing you'll not be reprimanded for them like a creepy guy would. But that requires wit to both come up with jokes on the spot and to give you the knowledge that you can talk your way out of any situation, like someone trying to shit test you by interpreting what you said in the worst possible way.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Confidence comes from being naturally witty and having mostly the same interests and experiences as normies
      no, confidence comes from trusting your ability to do something successfully

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        We're not talking about confidence in general but about confidence in social situations.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          there is no difference you knucklehead, the confidence in social situations is simply due to your personal feeling of confidence being visible through your actions (facial expressions body language words of choice etc)

          this is why people recommend hobbies, you do something that makes you feel good and confident about yourself, the feeling sticks for the rest of the day and it leaks into your social attitude

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't care about all this be confidence crap too much. What do I care what some retards think of me? Why should I? There are just too many dumb normalfags to care. Improove meme is retarded. I just do my thing and ask other people in my way to kindly fuck off and stop bothering me with their annoying obnoxious loud retardation. If they want to be toddlers or animals they can be all they want but somewhere else.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      nigga confidence isn't an appearance, it's a feeling. feeling confident FEELS GOOD and you WANT TO feel good

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      improove for you, don't improove for others. It sounds cliche but improoving is a great feeling, better than cooming

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >when people say just be confident, they don't mean pull confidence out your ass.

    They literally mean exactly that.

    The rest of your post is actually pretty good advice, but your take on what people mean what they tell you "it's all about confidence" or "you just need confidence" is completely wrong. They REALLY DO mean to pull it out of your ass. Especially if we are talking about demonstrating confidence with women.

    People who say this to you really do think that you're in the "normal" range for people overall and that if you just pull confidence out of your ass that girls will like you. It's not advice intended to tell you to search your life for flaws and fix them or anything like that. It's the opposite. The people who say this think that you're no more flawed than the average person and that if you just act cocky and arrogant that some girl will respond positively to it.

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