I've been friends with this woman for 6 years. We've always gotten along on a platonic level. Last year she got a new boyfriend. I've tried to be friendly towards him and convince him there's nothing going on between she and I. But recently he was very antagonistic and my friend won't talk to me.
I don't think it would be a good idea to keep trying to contact her so how should i proceed. I don't want to lose a friend. At the same time i wouldn't blame her for choosing her boyfriend over me.
move on. literally nothing you could do
I know it's gonna sound gay but how do i move on? She's introduced me to her family and they like me. I've done the same with her and my family likes her. That's how close we are. But how can i just go "oh she's gone. Oh well time to replace her with another buddy."
You accept that people are going to come and go in your life and there is nothing you can do to force things. Loss always sucks bro, but she's made her choice. She values this dude more than your friendship. It'll sting, but you go on with your life.
You can't live like that. It's not just people come and go. Cherish every interaction. 6 years is a long time omvw2
You absolutely CAN live with accepting the realities of life. I lost someone very important to me after over a decade of them being my other half. Did it take me two years to finally compose myself? Yeah. Was I a shitshow for a while? Yeah. The human body is great at adapting to new norms. You gotta just keep on keeping on.
Look, if you truly care about your friend, you'll stop contacting her and move on.
She's in a relationship now, don't you want her to be happy?
What shitty advice. His best friend is dating an insecure chud and he's just gonna abondon her? Are you a pussy? To keep in contact with him is her choice not his.
I'm almost certain you're one of the "monogamy is outdated" polyhomosexuals
Not really, I'm on the "if she sleeps with another man I'm dropping her" side. I have female friends, I pick up a female coworker on my way to work, I've danced with my friends girl and slept over at my gf's friends place. My gf is fine with it, I'm fine with her hanging out with my male friends and coworkers. Everyone is an adult here, this isn't highschool.
>an insecure chud
Or
>be a perpetual orbiter waiting for her to see the light
Which one is more insecure?
OP isn't orbitting you dumb ass. He didn't even say he has feelings for her, they've been friends for 6 years.
>OP isn't orbitting you dumb ass. He didn't even say he has feelings for her, they've been friends for 6 years.
>6 years orbiting and introducing her to his family
Vid related
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Please learn how human beings work before dispensing advice about them.
rupee dupey poopy indians
so many of them have no idea how to handle women because they're used to arranged marriages. it's cringe to watch. it's funny that western women complain about western men because this is the type of behavior where the guys grab tits and rape. A minority of men in the west follow women like that.
Ahh i see. The Internet has broken you so much that one TikTok video convinces you the entire species is like that. Unironically touch grass
>Unironically touch grass
This is literally what I see every morning
NTA, but
>OP isn't orbiting
But for all intents and purposes, he is. Male attention is a finite resource and OP has invested 6 years of his life into her. His mistake was believing women behave the same as men and that is most certainly not the case. So when cold hard reality hits, he got annoyed and made this thread. So yes
, I believe you don't have feelings for her, yet you DO feel betrayed at the prospect of losing all that time for nothing.
If for the past 6 years you have devoted your energy solely into her, then that would be a problem. If her new bf's a retard, that's her problem, not yours. You are the priority here, not her, so move on.
>Which one is more insecure?
Is it you?
Context details matter, chum.
I wouldn't cut all ties with her. It's more her bf's fault than hers. If you want to talk to her about it, tell her that you won't be talking to her as much as you used to due to the situation with her bf as you've noticed that it'd likely end up worsening everything, but tell her that you'll always be there for her.
That way she'll likely understand. Just be careful about how you actually put it, as it's also easy to end up passing for a pathetic doormat cuck, basically don't be too emotional about it or go blaming x or y, be straight and pragmatic about it.
She might not stay with her bf forever and that way you won't let the dude destroy your friendship as she'd likely go back to contact you afterwards
Just confess youre gay.
Have you tried talking to her about it? Ultimately that might be too uncomfortable for her though especially in the case where she is choosing him. But unfortunately life isn’t always comfortable and if it’s bothering you on the level of not even knowing where you stand you might want to ask. You could just express something too if you want something like you’ve been missing hanging out if that’s more natural.
But you’re probably on the money lots of people do this in relationships. It can’t really be helped if that’s what they’re committing to.
reverse the situation and imagine that was your gf talking to another dude. Just let her go and cut contact
>thinking men and women can be friends
You are joking, right? I'd wish more women acted the same way instead of leading deluded men like you on. Do what the others are saying and move on.
This is what happens when you are deprived of pussy for so long that practically any woman is attractive to you. Don't be ridiculous. Offhand I can think of 8 female friends who I would not fuck if you paid me. When I was younger these were less plentiful but there were still lots of them. I have one female friend who I love so much that I would possibly marry her if we were both single, but I have no desire to sleep with her either.
To OP, the best thing you can do is give it a week since your last contact, then set a single text: I'm going to back off until/unless your new guy becomes more comfortable re your male friends, hope things go well for you, keep in touch.
Then let her stew, because most women won't tolerate this shit and it makes him look like he's afraid of other men.
Monogamy and friendships have nothing to do with each other unless someone is actively trying to have alone time outside the relationship. Couples hang out with friends together, that's how it works if you want a happy relationship and a healthy social life. As trust builds you may or may not ease up as per your comfort level. My wife and I never went out alone for years, though as we came to trust each other's friends we might bar hop separately on the same street for an hour or two. But neither of us has EVER asked fir a night out alone. The other is always invited.
You homosexual that's exactly what happens. Move on. She's not your confident. You lost her. Stop being the fucking backup guy and get some male friends so this shit doesn't happen again
Just wait it out. His spurging will make sure he loses the girl and she will be back on your arms again.
You act as a natural chud filter for her. Ignore him carry on as usual.
The best approach is to convince the bf you're not a threat long before this point.
I've never had a problem doing so.
Don't get so conceited as to assume the situation on your own. There's still a lot that's unknown and people and their relationships are complex. Try to go on existing in the best way you can, whatever that means to you, and be happy and supportive for your friend. If you're doing something fun by yourself or with others, feel free to invite your friend and her partner along.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that she's with a real stand-up guy and they're good for each other. Maybe they're working towards a good future together and coming to the realization of the effort that requires. Life starts to get busy when you get serious about reaching goals. Don't make yourself an obstacle.
On the opposite hypothetical, if this person she's with is controlling then she's going to want someone around that undeniably has her best interests in mind. By demonstrating a generally supportive demeanor, she's going to feel more comfortable expressing with you the doubts that are needed to start the path away from her manipulator. Should she or he have the thought that "anon's likely to try to drive a wedge between us", they'll create distance before you have the opportunity.
Let me put it this way in regards to the guy. Ever since she started dating him she's called me crying because he screamed at her or punched a wall. I made a thread a few weeks ago about it. I don't think I'm the obstacle. But perhaps giving her space would help her and their relationship.
If that's the case and there're obvious signs of abuse, you can only default to my latter suggestion. Be supportive of her, as in show her that you can be relied on to have her best interests in mind and be willing to become actionable should she request it of you.
At the end of the day, we humans are paradoxically drawn to that which harms us the most. Especially in times of vulnerability and instability. Just like a drug addict, she can only receive relief when she's ready to seek it and make the changes necessary. Do not try to be more involved than being there to support her when she's ready, you'll only make the situation worse for everyone.
>Try to go on existing in the best way you can, whatever that means to you, and be happy and supportive for your friend. If you're doing something fun by yourself or with others, feel free to invite your friend and her partner along.
All of this advice still applies.
I'm confused, didn't you say she has stopped talking to you?
Do you have mutual friends you can talk to about the situation? If this person is dangerous I agree with anon who said keeping your distance may be important for her safety. Don't scheme or be secretive about it, but see if you can get some mutual friend to suggest a poker night or party etc. so that there's room for him to get used to you without the pressure of too much direct interaction.
Move on, relish knowing that the bitch is going to end up regretting and losing sleep for throwing away a close friendship for an insecure cuck
Listen. You're a homosexual. That's all. Your friend chose her man, and you hoped you could get into that pussy, but you're a homosexual and failed miserably.
She won't miss you, she doesn't care. Also, I'm glad the guy was antagonistic towards you, because he's not a homosexual like you. I can already see it:
>H-hey bro, haha, i'm your gf's BFF! haha lol jk jk, but hey seriously, we're only friends it's not like i wanna tap that sweet ass I've been hanging around for 6 years waiting for her to be drunk enough to let me fuck her for 2 minutes and cum inside, LOL wow well, yeah, we're just friends. I mean if she wants more but i don't. I mean unless she doesn't and she doesn't... I think. I think she doesn't so I don't either so, yeah, don't be afraid we're just friends LOL, yeah. Anyway, so, how big are you? LOL jk stud, calm down... i mean unless you want to compare sizes? You're probably bigger but it's not like I'd say no to eating the creampie off her after you're done you know? LOL jk jk that's gay I'm not gay. Nope. Not at all, those times I thought about burying my face in your chest and pretend I'm your gf were just healthy fantasies that don't mean anything. Did that turn you on? LOL jk jk. Anyway... yeah. Probably not gonna contact your gf anymore so chill. we can hang out instead. here's my number. LOL don't write it on the gloryhole near Madison and Turnver ok? Not that I'd mind but you know, I get too many spam calls, lol.
That's you. homosexual.
Nice projection.
There's no such thing as friendship between opposite genders.
You or her will eventually feel attracted to each other.
So its better to just cut her off.