is it true that if i improve my looks and have a more assertive personality, people will actually give a shit about what i say?
male OP btw
is it true that if i improve my looks and have a more assertive personality, people will actually give a shit about what i say?
Assertive is the right direction, but what you really need is confidence, which you get from dispelling your ignorance. Experience and knowledge with a backbone, that's what you want.
whats a good step to gaining more knowledge? im willing to put in effort with the correct direction.
Yes it's a cognitive bias to favor people who look handsome, kind, smart, funny, happy or rich. You'll be more attractive, your input will be considered more valid, and you'll be able to get away with bigger failures than someone who seems untidy, unfashionable, unintelligent, unassertive and otherwise unwell or unconventional. Details may also vary depending on the environment you're trying to fit in.
See Halo Effect and Horn Effect.
Assert this dick in my mouth master
the world is just a big game of "last to surrender to your emotions wins." this happens in everything from trading to politics. i wish i could stop feeling emotions entirely
wrong reply
above is for you
only if you are a woman
>the world is just a big game of "last to surrender to your emotions wins."
Wins what?
>i wish i could stop feeling emotions entirely
Why? You could just stop letting them interfere with what you want lol
I have realized all the respect you receive in the word is chemical based thing. When I'm drunk and become very calm, the same people who ignored me before will talk to me and say hi as if nothing happened before. very bizzar phenomenon. If being drunk isn't so harmful I would be drunk 24/7
>is it true that if i improve my looks and have a more assertive personality, people will actually give a shit about what i say?
No, of course not. Why the fuck would that be true?
Whether or not people give a shit about what you say is mostly up to them, not you. Some people are cunts and some people are decent people, and that's usually all there is to it, other than a few exceptions. One exception is like the boy who cried wolf, y'know? They cared until they learned he was a homosexual, then they quit caring
Clueless
>Clueless
Seriously? Well go on, explain
People have a strong bias for paying attention to physically attractive people
>People have a strong bias for paying attention to physically attractive people
And? That doesn't mean they care what they say lol
>improving looks is for women
>just be enough
That's all women have to do too
>And? That doesn't mean they care what they say lol
Cope
>Cope
No dude, your way is fucking cope, I'm just telling you the reality
thats apathy. i want people to hear what i have to say without them just crossing me out for being a homosexual.
>Wins what
wins everything money, love and maybe peace
>Why? You could just stop letting them interfere with what you want lol
consciously yes, but i cant think about it all the time can I? or is it an obtainable superpower
you have no idea what the power of hot men does to women
Yes
I only care about myself, if you don't benefit my life I just don't care about you
The short answer is
>improve looks
Sort of
>be more assertive
Depends whay you mean but mostly likely youll just look like a dick.
And the long answer involves: the above are negligible, there are other more surefire ways ti be taken seriously, and if youre already not taken seriously, being better looking and more assertive wont do shit because you probably come across as a retard.
I didnt realize this thread would be so full of retards so I guess Ill be more specific..
36fag, worked in a few fields but now Im im trades, and the construction site is where these kinda social things is raw and unfiltered and jungle rules apply.
>does looking good help
Not really. But not looking bad does.
>being assertive
People generally give you the benefit of the doubt until youve given an impression they shouldnt. If you have strong rhetoric, youre highly knowledgable, and never wrong (in others perception), you are a leader.
If youre wrong even once despite being assertive or have a huge social mistep, youre the biggest retard on earth the rest of your goddamn life to people that know about it. So being assertive only serves to magnify how people are gonna perceive you.
I am taking a huge guess by the very existance of this thread your social skills arent on point. So being assertive for you probably wont end well. Heres a video of someone like you being assertive:
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What you said is mostly true but this
>If you have strong rhetoric, youre highly knowledgable, and never wrong (in others perception), you are a leader.
Isn't true. Maybe you COULD be a leader, but you have to actually BE a leader in order to be a leader. I might have all of those things but I don't want to be a leader, and I won't even put myself in the position to be a leader
>thats apathy. i want people to hear what i have to say without them just crossing me out for being a homosexual.
I don't get what you're saying I guess? Anyone with ears is gonna hear what you have to say, but that doesn't mean they're going to CARE. I'll care what you have to say, because I care what everyone other than the boy who cried wolf has to say, but that's because I'm that way, not really anything to do with you lol
>wins everything money, love and maybe peace
lol
>consciously yes, but i cant think about it all the time can I? or is it an obtainable superpower
What do you mean you can't think about it all the time?
Everyone has their limits, yes, but at that point, you are really asking "are my emotions right now worth more than the other thing I'm wanting?" and if you say "yes" then so be it, right? It really makes no sense to say "I wish I didn't have emotions" in those cases, because you have actually decided that your emotions take priority in that situation, therefore you shouldn't be moping around like a bitch afterwards
>isnt true
Youre splitting hairs. Im talking perception. People look to you if you know what youre talking about, are trusted, and you assert it. People follow that guy and come to that guy for direction.
>People look to you if you know what youre talking about, are trusted, and you assert it. People follow that guy and come to that guy for direction.
Fair enough. It doesn't matters if you assert it, by the way. In fact, almost better if you don't, unless you're trying to start a riot tomorrow or something
>I'm telling you they do care more
And I'm telling you they don't lol. OF COURSE they don't. It's like you think that care is equal to the amount of attention they pay but that's NOT TRUE
>better if you dont
Agreed. Fully. Which is kinda what I want OP to understand. Youre opening yourself way up and one misstep and youre fucked. And as (hopefully) everyone knows, no ones actually perfect.
>Youre opening yourself way up and one misstep and youre fucked
I don't think that "opening yourself up" can really result in you being fucked though. I mean, how so? Hell I think if anything, it's the opposite
You werent paying attention to the threadline.
In a social environment, one of the best ways to look like a moron is to act like youre smarter or know better or have a strong sense of confidence (aka being assertive) and having others disagree with your self affirmed status. Act smart snd say something dumb, act wise and give bad advice, act confident while doing something incredibly stupid, people fucking hate that.
If youre beint an "assertive person" and throwing your weight around, one wrong step throws everyones perception of you into the trash and you look like the worlds biggest retard.
And my entire poijt isnt "no one should act this way ever", its "if Ops on an advice site for incels asking if he should be more assertive and states its because hes a pushover and everyone walks all over him, Im placing a huge bet being assertive isnt gonna go well for him". I will paste the video once again of what an assertive OP looks like
?si=K5xkQoLVhr0MMP3f
Well there's kind of a different between ACTING smart and BEING smart, or ACTING confident and BEING confident, you know? A smart person doesn't have to fucking act smart, they can act dumb lol. In fact, tons of smart people act dumb, tons of smart, confident people make self-deprecating jokes, etc..
But what's that have to do with improving OP's looks?
You're confusing assertiveness with aggression. Because being assertive isn't about winning all battles, never giving an inch, pushing your weight around, or being a dick to others. It's about knowing the value of your input, presenting it confidently but respectfully, and negotiating.
>I don't get what you're saying I guess? Anyone with ears is gonna hear what you have to say, but that doesn't mean they're going to CARE. I'll care what you have to say, because I care what everyone other than the boy who cried wolf has to say, but that's because I'm that way, not really anything to do with you lol
idc if people listen or not. I just wanna say my shit.
>be around better people for whom you dont need to fight for your peace.
dont have any.
>You can just say no without being assertive
thats true. but if people want to convince me otherwise, I need to say more than No, yknow?
retard, i am caring about whether I can say shit with confidence or not . them caring or not is another thing entirely.
>its "if Ops on an advice site for incels asking if he should be more assertive and states its because hes a pushover and everyone walks all over him, Im placing a huge bet being assertive isnt gonna go well for him".
takes one to know one, incel. thanks for playing.
lastpostbestpost.
good grief this took me 3 hours to take my mind off feel, How I feel and another hour just to type out these response. if 36yo fag still wants to talk, i hope you understand a bit better.
>HAHA JUST MADE YOU WASTE TIME YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK
this cleared my mind up, and i think the time i spent here would probably save me months of despair figuring the problem.
i was a pushover agreeing and being apathetic with other peoples shit. i am tired of doing that
Ok but remember you have autism, so you only see things in extremes. It sint "pushover" or "assertive". You can just say no without being assertive.
And people will still put you in a hole if youre 10/10 if youre also a social bitch.
Just learn to say no, work in your interests, and better yet, be around better people for whom you dont need to fight for your peace.
>people who make idiots of themselves
Would it be better if I looked better?
>other people who look like idiots and dont go outside and want easy answers to life that makes things not their own stupid fault
Yes.
improving looks is for women
are you a woman?
just be enough: dont stink, wear clean legit clotes, dont be a slob.
Women want you to do it too and if you do improve your looks you will reap the rewards. Funny how building your body and career are probably acceptable forms of improvement to you and one involves looks.
i mean that you shouldn't waste too much of your time on improving your looks like:
obsessing over skin care, haircuts, or whatever. Just do it the base line and focus more on carrer and other stuff.
What is obsessing? Is a skincare routine obsessing? Is brushing your teeth obsessing?
What 'way'? I'm just informing you.
>What 'way'? I'm just informing you.
>People have a strong bias for paying attention to physically attractive people
You're implying that the attention people pay to attractive people is worth as much or more than actually CARING. I'm saying the attention is fucking worthless if they don't actually care. It's like you're saying to take the blue pill and I'm saying to take the red pill, y'know?
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I'm telling you they do care more
In general yeah
there will be some assholes that don't give a fuck tho, no matter how buff you are or how clearly you speak.
OP here i need to clear my head this is some tough shit to digest. my confirmation bias ass is giving myself a hard time to listen to others.