you need to text her something to let her know that considered pursuing her but didn't give enough shits to follow through because she's beneath you.
Either this or something like "word" and stop pursuing. If she doesn't hit you up first drop entirely
the best one i do to really piss a girl off is texting "Can I ask you something?", having them reply, and just ghosting them. That really makes them feel like a secondary option.
This is woman behavior anon. I can totally imagine a fat chick doing this to a random tinder match and thinking "ha, I totally got the upper hand in that social situation". It's a bit cringe ngl I doubt they would even care lol women are all matched with like 100 chads on dating apps and if you aren't giving them attention someone else is
my other advice would be to not type anything but react to the message something tonally (not a typo) ambiguous like the upside down smile or the black moon face (personal favourite)
you know it's a good one when the first thing in chrome's autocomplete is 'black moon face emoji meaning'
I'm too late to chime in but just in case anyone else is having a similar issue, this is the best answer here.
OP here: i just unmatched her and moved on
good on you, lad. I would have just not responded rather than straight up unmatch but this is fine too.
>I unmatched with her
Sheesh man dont even bother talking to chicks if youre gonna give up that quick and do things that sloppily. Theres much harder scenarios to deal with than a maybe
Next time don't let the incels here get to your head and jump to conclusions. It's completely normal to follow up when given a "maybe" situation like yours here
IT WAS NOT OVER WTFFFF. She was probably telling the truth. No wonder you are a bunch of virgins jfc
I concur
From a married man who has been in the dating scene several times, this is a cope. Women don't operate like this. They out in a LOT of effort if they like you.
>this is a cope
A lot of us at the time didnt know it was his THIRD time asking her out pal. That being said when its your first time meeting it is retarded to not expect some form of resistance and youre in for a shitty date life if you completly remove contact with a girl just because she dropped a maybe on that first. Very few if any in your lifetime will treat you like youre Justin Bieber inviting them to a concert if you ask them out.
Roughly speaking though,yeah
Doesn't matter how "busy" a girl is. If she likes you, she'll make time for you in her "busy" schedule.
If she doesn't like you, then she wont, or at least she'll try and reschedule for later.
At this point I'd probably just do what said. No point in replying with a rude or passive aggressive answer like [...], but thats just me
Has a point however if shes explaining to you why she cant then its on you to LISTEN and also present a counter offer which again is as long she hasnt shut you down before on a separate occasion.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
In my experience, women chomp at the bit to disqualify you from their lives over anything they can come up with (ie the ick).
If they turn down offers or reschedule a date, then the ball is on THEIR COURT to come up with something to do or give counter offers, not yours.
You need to have boundaries to keep you from hopscotching from fair to catering to simping.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
>If they turn down offers or reschedule a date, then the ball is on THEIR COURT to come up with something to do or give counter offers, not yours.
To be honest I dont fully understand what you mean by this but if the flow of it verbalized is
"Sup Anonette lets go to Charlies Grill on Thursday. You cant? Well bye." Then you just drop it there...
No dude no. That is not only extremely unnatural its also gonna result in the girl writing you off as a friendzoned oddball who she maybe tells about her day if you keep up formalities. Any hot girl is going to give you shit like that anywho because she wants to see if you can actually properly talk her into a date.
>You need to have boundaries to keep you from hopscotching from fair to catering to simping.
Sure but you arent hopscotching just because you showed some enthusiasm to make a date. One mention of it and you tap out at any resistance is beta. Before all the macho chad daddy "i am a grace for everyone" shit kicks in should come the realization that you are different people and hey if Thursday doesnt work what about Saturday? Not that either? Cool now you get to challenge her even deeper and ask what day absolutely works for her and that moment,thats when the ball is in her court.
Yeah but you should do it in a less asshurty way. Something more like >oh well if youre busy like that its fine,another time.
Is way more natural. Then give her 2 weeks and shoot again. Get the same shit? Then you just say the same thing practically but after that stop asking.
This is an easy one. Hit her with a "Okay, no pressure. I'll hit you up Friday."
Don't message her until Friday if you've gone on 0-2 dates already. On Friday, ask again, get ready for a no but maybe 2 days is enough time to get her thinking of you.GGK0J8
>this is the right answer
Why? She would win the interaction by getting more attention from him and will just ghost him. He should report her account if she's leading him on.
similar stuff has happened to me, and yea there were times i never talked to the woman again, and times i actually did meet up with her. it seems pretty low-stakes to just wait a day and if she is still wishy washy then ok, nothing from that.
To add: >What do den?
You don't reply at all. You leave her message on read. It will create tension between you making her think of you. If she reconsiders, she will message you to break the ice again.
>She has options
In that case the whole approach from the beginning has to be different. Nothing you say at this point will "fix" it. It would have been best to prevent her being bad mannered in the first place.
In comes NLP
Acknowledge her message with an emoji and hit her up Thursday night. Keep it brief, something like "How's Saturday looking?". If she doesn't follow through it's over and you can move on.
>I unmatched with her
Sheesh man dont even bother talking to chicks if youre gonna give up that quick and do things that sloppily. Theres much harder scenarios to deal with than a maybe
This was the 3rd time I asked her out. 1st time halloween, then last weekend, then this weekend. I suppose I could have kept going man but at a certain point I’ve got plenty of other matches
Oh so its your third time. Well thats understandable then but like >halloween
Thats cringe dude. Dont ask women youve never dated before out on a celebration day as the first date. That makes it look like you have nothing better to do and are a low value person.
Next time don't let the incels here get to your head and jump to conclusions. It's completely normal to follow up when given a "maybe" situation like yours here
Acknowledge her message with an emoji and hit her up Thursday night. Keep it brief, something like "How's Saturday looking?". If she doesn't follow through it's over and you can move on.
. Although I didn't know this was the third time OP asked her out
This was the 3rd time I asked her out. 1st time halloween, then last weekend, then this weekend. I suppose I could have kept going man but at a certain point I’ve got plenty of other matches
At that point its safe to assume she's not particularly interested. People will make time in their busy lives if they want to see you
lol this is what you get for taking incel advice on dating
OP had two options -
1) leave on read/minimal reaction to generate thoughts and a follow up reply ('stoke fire')
2) be an honest, good option and say 'ok nw', then message a few days later asking again - less sexy but way better if you find a good woman who's actually interested in you to any degree
She already showed zero interest with that reply. If she wanted to meet with OP she would have proposed a different day or asked to reschedule some other time. Only someone who is autistic/has no social skills would waste their time further.
>letting angry incels intent on spreading their poison tank any possible chance you had
you really could have just said "all good, hit me up when you're free to do something" and lost absolutely nothing and still had all the upside + looked dignified doing so yet you chose to blow it all up believing some shit about how she's fucking another guy and you're the backup
I think one thing you and others don't get is any woman on a dating app has so much male attention all the time, constantly, at any hours of the day. She probably has orbiters texting her all the time. For her a date is something she can go on if she feels like it or if she doesn't maybe she won't do it, because it literally doesn't matter that much in the first place.
Like literally her message conveys a date isn't that important, but she still might be interesting in doing it if she has nothing else going on. She might even like the guy in question but not enough to where she wants to drop everything going on for him. It's not even like a difficult situation to navigate if op acts like a normal human and doesn't try to play games or act insecure about it.
just move on if it's not a yes, if they cancel last minute or something then it's even more so a no.
only ask for a reschedule if they send mixed signals
Yeah probs.
At this point I'd reply "boring." and just go off chasing greener pastures.
Is that the best way to handle these wishy washy answered? Just blunt and leave?
just don't say anything. girls hate being ghosted
Either this or something like "word" and stop pursuing. If she doesn't hit you up first drop entirely
you need to text her something to let her know that considered pursuing her but didn't give enough shits to follow through because she's beneath you.
the best one i do to really piss a girl off is texting "Can I ask you something?", having them reply, and just ghosting them. That really makes them feel like a secondary option.
This is woman behavior anon. I can totally imagine a fat chick doing this to a random tinder match and thinking "ha, I totally got the upper hand in that social situation". It's a bit cringe ngl I doubt they would even care lol women are all matched with like 100 chads on dating apps and if you aren't giving them attention someone else is
Doesn't matter how "busy" a girl is. If she likes you, she'll make time for you in her "busy" schedule.
If she doesn't like you, then she wont, or at least she'll try and reschedule for later.
At this point I'd probably just do what said. No point in replying with a rude or passive aggressive answer like
, but thats just me
this
my other advice would be to not type anything but react to the message something tonally (not a typo) ambiguous like the upside down smile or the black moon face (personal favourite)
you know it's a good one when the first thing in chrome's autocomplete is 'black moon face emoji meaning'
I'm too late to chime in but just in case anyone else is having a similar issue, this is the best answer here.
good on you, lad. I would have just not responded rather than straight up unmatch but this is fine too.
From a married man who has been in the dating scene several times, this is a cope. Women don't operate like this. They out in a LOT of effort if they like you.
>this is a cope
A lot of us at the time didnt know it was his THIRD time asking her out pal. That being said when its your first time meeting it is retarded to not expect some form of resistance and youre in for a shitty date life if you completly remove contact with a girl just because she dropped a maybe on that first. Very few if any in your lifetime will treat you like youre Justin Bieber inviting them to a concert if you ask them out.
Roughly speaking though,yeah
Has a point however if shes explaining to you why she cant then its on you to LISTEN and also present a counter offer which again is as long she hasnt shut you down before on a separate occasion.
In my experience, women chomp at the bit to disqualify you from their lives over anything they can come up with (ie the ick).
If they turn down offers or reschedule a date, then the ball is on THEIR COURT to come up with something to do or give counter offers, not yours.
You need to have boundaries to keep you from hopscotching from fair to catering to simping.
>If they turn down offers or reschedule a date, then the ball is on THEIR COURT to come up with something to do or give counter offers, not yours.
To be honest I dont fully understand what you mean by this but if the flow of it verbalized is
"Sup Anonette lets go to Charlies Grill on Thursday. You cant? Well bye." Then you just drop it there...
No dude no. That is not only extremely unnatural its also gonna result in the girl writing you off as a friendzoned oddball who she maybe tells about her day if you keep up formalities. Any hot girl is going to give you shit like that anywho because she wants to see if you can actually properly talk her into a date.
>You need to have boundaries to keep you from hopscotching from fair to catering to simping.
Sure but you arent hopscotching just because you showed some enthusiasm to make a date. One mention of it and you tap out at any resistance is beta. Before all the macho chad daddy "i am a grace for everyone" shit kicks in should come the realization that you are different people and hey if Thursday doesnt work what about Saturday? Not that either? Cool now you get to challenge her even deeper and ask what day absolutely works for her and that moment,thats when the ball is in her court.
girls would not view this as a "ghosting", they would just think they forgot to reply and move on. 90% of the time they take the high ground
She replied so it aint that bad.
Yeah but you should do it in a less asshurty way. Something more like
>oh well if youre busy like that its fine,another time.
Is way more natural. Then give her 2 weeks and shoot again. Get the same shit? Then you just say the same thing practically but after that stop asking.
Do this
and don't even read her reply, it'll fuck with her head like most females who are flaky.
Nah, "boring" is the perfect response. She's basically saying "fuck you" to OP, she's lucky he doesn't say "go fuck yourself you stupid slut"
The answer is always “Yes, it’s over”.
It haven't even started.
It’s over. Based on what I can see of that tiny thumbnail she doesn’t look that good anyways.
Who cares. You haven't even met that complete stranger. Move on to the next.
>pic at disneyland
yikes..
This is an easy one. Hit her with a "Okay, no pressure. I'll hit you up Friday."
Don't message her until Friday if you've gone on 0-2 dates already. On Friday, ask again, get ready for a no but maybe 2 days is enough time to get her thinking of you.GGK0J8
this is the right answer
it's almost definitely a no, but might as well do this
>this is the right answer
Why? She would win the interaction by getting more attention from him and will just ghost him. He should report her account if she's leading him on.
because maybe she's telling the truth, and isn't sure she can make it.
Lmao, are you over 18? You sound new to females.
similar stuff has happened to me, and yea there were times i never talked to the woman again, and times i actually did meet up with her. it seems pretty low-stakes to just wait a day and if she is still wishy washy then ok, nothing from that.
Yes, just reply back with "lol, good luck" and block her
are people just fucking mindbroken?
If she declines and doesn't give a counter-offer: that's bad manners. Bad manners = she doesn't like you.
To add:
>What do den?
You don't reply at all. You leave her message on read. It will create tension between you making her think of you. If she reconsiders, she will message you to break the ice again.
Too harsh.
Respond "let me know if you can" and THEN cease messaging
>Too harsh.
Yes, harsh by her. See
She's not going to think of him at all for any reason after sending that, she's already onto the next one
>She has options
In that case the whole approach from the beginning has to be different. Nothing you say at this point will "fix" it. It would have been best to prevent her being bad mannered in the first place.
In comes NLP
Every girl has options
NEXT her for one week, if she messages you in that week leave it on read
If you want to nuke her randomly text her that she has a weird nose
Acknowledge her message with an emoji and hit her up Thursday night. Keep it brief, something like "How's Saturday looking?". If she doesn't follow through it's over and you can move on.
OP here: i just unmatched her and moved on
>I unmatched with her
Sheesh man dont even bother talking to chicks if youre gonna give up that quick and do things that sloppily. Theres much harder scenarios to deal with than a maybe
This was the 3rd time I asked her out. 1st time halloween, then last weekend, then this weekend. I suppose I could have kept going man but at a certain point I’ve got plenty of other matches
Oh so its your third time. Well thats understandable then but like
>halloween
Thats cringe dude. Dont ask women youve never dated before out on a celebration day as the first date. That makes it look like you have nothing better to do and are a low value person.
Next time don't let the incels here get to your head and jump to conclusions. It's completely normal to follow up when given a "maybe" situation like yours here
What would you have done, Glenn Quagmire?
See my reply
. Although I didn't know this was the third time OP asked her out
At that point its safe to assume she's not particularly interested. People will make time in their busy lives if they want to see you
Didn't even need to unmatch just pretend it never existed.
IT WAS NOT OVER WTFFFF. She was probably telling the truth. No wonder you are a bunch of virgins jfc
I concur
lol this is what you get for taking incel advice on dating
OP had two options -
1) leave on read/minimal reaction to generate thoughts and a follow up reply ('stoke fire')
2) be an honest, good option and say 'ok nw', then message a few days later asking again - less sexy but way better if you find a good woman who's actually interested in you to any degree
She already showed zero interest with that reply. If she wanted to meet with OP she would have proposed a different day or asked to reschedule some other time. Only someone who is autistic/has no social skills would waste their time further.
>letting angry incels intent on spreading their poison tank any possible chance you had
you really could have just said "all good, hit me up when you're free to do something" and lost absolutely nothing and still had all the upside + looked dignified doing so yet you chose to blow it all up believing some shit about how she's fucking another guy and you're the backup
"Right on lmk" or however you'd say that
Then you get busy w other shit and never text her
Why is the solution always to be passive aggressive? If the chick declined dates three times, blocking them and moving on is the better option.
tell her to figure her life with you for the week instead **tips fedora**
When it comes to women, anything less than an enthusiastic yes is a no, and even then it's still a 70% risk of her flaking/ghosting
I think one thing you and others don't get is any woman on a dating app has so much male attention all the time, constantly, at any hours of the day. She probably has orbiters texting her all the time. For her a date is something she can go on if she feels like it or if she doesn't maybe she won't do it, because it literally doesn't matter that much in the first place.
Like literally her message conveys a date isn't that important, but she still might be interesting in doing it if she has nothing else going on. She might even like the guy in question but not enough to where she wants to drop everything going on for him. It's not even like a difficult situation to navigate if op acts like a normal human and doesn't try to play games or act insecure about it.
I don't care about the underlying reasons for why somebody is wasting my time beyond the fact that it is happening
yes
just move on if it's not a yes, if they cancel last minute or something then it's even more so a no.
only ask for a reschedule if they send mixed signals