Is it bad form for a woman to make efforts to 'win back' a man? I'm in love with an angry man.

Is it bad form for a woman to make efforts to 'win back' a man?

I'm in love with an angry man. He's volatile and gets stupid, cruel and even hateful toward me when angry. Otherwise he's smart, talented, hilarious, genuine, vulnerable, and has a completely beautiful soul.

When he gets angry, lecturing, socially abusive, I don't know how to handle it and I fuck off. Am currently in 'fucked off' zone.

I bought him a christmas present. It's meaningful and I think he'll really like it. But is it bad form for me to give it to him, as a woman? I'm an active person, I go for what and who I want. Too much masculine side? Should I just sit here moping and waiting for him apologize and come back? Is that the feminine thing to do?

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >He's volatile and gets stupid, cruel and even hateful toward me when angry.
    You're a woman, you could upgrade in 15 minutes on your phone. No need to subject yourself to that. Keep that xmas present and give it to the new guy. Fuck that nigga

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >telling someone that is in love to "upgrade"
      Really now?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yes, almost any man would be an "upgrade" from an abusive hillbilly.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          not a hillbilly

          Lol yes ironic considering the very reason she's "in love" with him is because he's violent

          not violent

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Then it sounds like you don't need this thread. Go make your mistake.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Sure, let's all just hate one another for having emotional disturbances in the middle of a genocide.

              You're missing the point of the thread

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >genocide
                What the fuck? Where do you live? This is an important, majorly important, piece of context.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >"I'm in love with an angry man. He's volatile and gets stupid, cruel and even hateful toward me when angry."
            >"When he gets angry, lecturing, socially abusive, I don't know how to handle it and I fuck off."
            Break up with him and stay single for a while, reflect on what type of person that you want to date afterwards. There's no need to put up with someone that has anger issues, despite his positives or the chemistry between the two of you.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I don't want to "date" anyone. All dating ever brought me was shallow bullshit. It's the wrong foot to start on.

              I have anger issues myself. I don't relate to people without anger issues.

              >genocide
              What the fuck? Where do you live? This is an important, majorly important, piece of context.

              I'm talking about the covid scandal and injections.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >I'm talking about the covid scandal and injections.
                Oh, so you are a hillbilly. And he is too. I'm out of here lol.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                lol good, fuck off and enjoy your last few years

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                They gave the entire US army the vaccine and America didn't fall into anarchy. You're dumb as shit babe, Trump lost

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Everyone didn't keel over immediately so nothing is wrong.
                >Trump lost
                Trump pushed injections

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Its been almost 3 years lol. you're like the WW2 Japanese who wouldnt surrender all the way into the 1970s

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It's been almost three years and all-cause mortality is way up. Unknown cause is the top cause of death in one of the provinces, I think Alberta.

                Anyway, this isn't a covid thread, for fucking once. I won't be 'dating' anyone who got the shot, end of.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It took a while for Agent Orange and Gulf War syndromes to manifest, this won't be any different.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                This right here is another reason 'dating' will never happen. I'm not going to spend years scrolling through pozzed vaxxie fucks. I only have a few good eggs left.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Trust me. All your eggs are bad. You’re ignorant, please do not procreate.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lol yes ironic considering the very reason she's "in love" with him is because he's violent

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I've been around. I've never been in love like this before. He did everything for me and my project. It's like we kidnapped each other. I can't let him go. I don't want a commodity. All the other men I've known are boring and shallow

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you sound boring and shallow.
        dumb hole.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Correction, I should have said 'partnered with' rather than 'known.' I've known plenty of proper men.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      also fuck phones
      and superfuck online dating

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Feels good to be vaxxed

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Don't worry sweetie, you are extremely feminine. Chasing after an angry stupid man and being primarily concerned with the superficial appearance/form of your actions instead of your physical/psychological safety is PEAK femininity.
    When he puts you in the hospital with a black eye and a broken jaw make sure you bring your phone so you can take selfies and post them on instagram with some comments about the patriarchy.
    And then have 2.4 kids with him and when he doesn't help raise them or around the house write articles for Jezebel about emotional labor and how all men are bad. And then when your kids end up with a dozen mental disorders and gender identities because you let him abuse them too blame vaccines for it on failbook.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >The thing you asked advice about on an anonymous forum is the thing you're primarily concerned with in life.
      Fuck off, retard.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >physical/psychological safety
        There has been no threat to physical safety.
        >psychological safety
        lmfao what the fuck even is this. I'm an adult.

        Kek. Textbook narcissist/cluster B slut response. Please never reproduce. Have you been formally diagnosed with Borderline PD yet?

        > There has been no threat to physical safety.
        "Dear /r/twoxchromosomes... And then one day out of the blue my boyfriend started becoming physically abusive! It can happen to anyone!"
        Kek, whatever. You deserve each other. Just please don't have kids.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sorry, this has nothing to do with me.
          Sometimes people just have difficulty getting along. Case in point: you.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Why aren't you thanking me for my advice? I'm practically the only one who answered your question, while everyone else is telling you to find someone else to date.
        YOU ASKED if trying to win him back is feminine, I assured you, yes it is very feminine. What's with the swearing out of the blue? Why are you so ungrateful?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm not interested in equating toxicity with femininity, find another thread

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            How exactly was my response equating toxicity with femininty? Funny how you use black-and-white thinking and then accuse other people of doing that. I put a bit of snark in my response because you come across as a fake troll, but that doesn't invalidate my response.
            Buying a present for a man after a fight that was probably his fault is a nice submissive feminine thing to do. He'll likely see it as nice attention.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              You spent a lot of words speaking in extremes about news stories and memes. I'm sorry but it just wasn't useful for me.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >Buying a present for a man after a fight that was probably his fault is a nice submissive feminine thing to do. He'll likely see it as nice attention.

              That's a little more reasonable. I'm not sure whether the fight was his fault, I'll take some time.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                And even if it was... I mean, forgiveness is a part of love. We overreact to one another. I'm honestly having trouble working through it with someone who actually gets to me. Being in love makes it hard to tell what's fair and right once you're navigating subtlety.

                I'd like him to know I love him while also maintaining my dignity and boundaries.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >physical/psychological safety
      There has been no threat to physical safety.
      >psychological safety
      lmfao what the fuck even is this. I'm an adult.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You should get a restraining order.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you're patently retarded

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, and I'd like my royalties paid in reddit gold.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This thread smells like a used 2002 Toyota Camry with Disney stickers and cigarette burns on the seats

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Guess I should have expected a bunch of hysterical retards to respond, my bad

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Look in a mirror youre the one trying to win back some retard wife beater and peddling conspiracies. Please don't have a kid with this guy

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >wife beater
        no
        >peddling conspiracies
        go drool somewhere else pozzed retard

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >youre the one trying to win back
        Not trying, contemplating, that's the point. Why the fuck can't you read?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You have an excuse for every piece of advice in the thread. You've already bought the gift and made up your mind. This is not Facebook and there are no other fat doormat moms to back you up.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I like the gift and can keep it for myself too if I like. The advice I'm getting is unsolicited, in that it doesn't address the actual question.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      These guys can only think in black and white. They think any hint of anger = gruesome death by violence, a must. Just like any woman by act of simple existing means she's a whore. There are no shades of emotions or complex workings with them

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are you all 25 and under? Seems like I'm talking to a bunch of children.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hostile stereotype-motivated judgments are not advice.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You are both walking stereotypes

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I asked a pretty simple question and children flooded the thread with hysterics and stereotypes.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          How did you find LULZ? You seem so lost here.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I've been using LULZ since about 2008.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              No way lol. You're trolling. You act like you've never posted before. You take the bait every time someone talks shit and you're so mad you even make extra replies to nobody.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Maybe more like 2010. Pretty off and on in early years. Most time spent in /misc/, very little in /adv/. I'm caught off guard by this side board being full of so much pointless hostility

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Why are you posting on LULZ? Why don't you ask your girl friends IRL? Oh thats right, because you don't have any. Because you're irrational even by woman standards, unpleasant, and impossible to have a constructive conversation with.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >you're irrational, no reason given
                >here, accept another dump of personal insults
                >you're the one it's impossible to have a constructive conversation with

                Holy shit lol, yawn.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You've been in this thread for almost 2 hours bb

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                So?

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Kek, typical BPD narcissist dodging reasonable questions. Why don't you have any friends? Why don't you ask them for advice if you think this thread is bad? Don't you have any mutual friends who know you and the situation better than random internet strangers?
                > Waah waah you are just being mean to be for no reason!, I can't take advice or constructive criticism unless it's bubble-wrapped and served on a platter because my fee fees hurt so my brain instantly turns off. Why are people always so mean to me... FOR NO REASON? Such a mystery!
                Chasing after a man after he abuses is nice and cute and feminine, he'll love it. It answers your question.
                If you don't like my advice, ask your friends for advice instead of strangers, local/family culture factors huge into it. If you don't have any friends to ask, think about why that is?

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not here to discuss my other relationships. Cope and chill.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You clearly don't grasp the subtleties of the word 'abuse,' and the subtle ways it applies. For example, you're hellbent on abusing me for not accepting abuse from strangers, because I acknowledged that someone I know and love has an abusive streak (as do I).

                He and I have been less abusive toward one another than you are being toward me.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I think by writing, it's not really a problem

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's interesting how many people are getting insatiably angry at the prospect of people in love striving to work around their angry sides. Are you all here because you don't think you deserve to be loved, or are you specially deserving of it because reasons in spite of your own anger?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        These guys can only think in black and white. They think any hint of anger = gruesome death by violence, a must. Just like any woman by act of simple existing means she's a whore. There are no shades of emotions or complex workings with them

        Femcel backup has arrived

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Show me one thread around here that isn't so and I'll withdraw my words

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Anyway, thanks for your time guys. If nothing else I got reaquainted with the stronger parts of my backbone dealing with you. I'll wait for now and consider opportunities as they come.

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    As an old lady who has no business on LULZ let me tell you, the other responses you get are right. You should break up with him and date someone else. Asking "can't two angry people work it out?" sounds innocent enough... but it's naive.
    It doesn't get better, especially if the man is unstable and doesn't make drastic changes to improve himself. He might seem like the most exciting man in the world, but so is being addicted to drugs, it doesn't end well. It's like drinking antifreeze... it tastes sweet but it's poison.
    If he can't get angry without turning cruel and hateful towards you then there is no foundation to work with. Have some standards. Leaving dirty socks on the ground is something you work through, not loud naked contempt. Contempt is death of a relationship.
    They say the four horsemen of a relationship, the signals that it's basically over, are: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. And Contempt is the worse one.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Grats on being an old lady and wiser than other posters, but as I said I don't date. Especially if people being human (having some anger) means they can't work anything out. I'll just stay single. I'm not trauma-bonded (drug addiction analogy) to this person, we fell in love over months of working together and building a project in a smooth and constructive creative partnership. We've also been through some hard times separately and are still raw.

      Your four horsement of a relationship don't speak to me, I'm afraid, aside from the contempt part (which gets complicated when it's for projected things rather than true traits). The other three... Yeah, if being human kills relationships it's all futile and I just won't have one. I hadn't been consciously pursuing this one anyway, the falling-for was unconscious and a surprise.

      Not to be unappreciative. Thanks for offering a genuine response.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm also compelled to add... The "just find another one" idea feels very much like "just find another mom" or "just find a new brother if this one sucks." I fell in love, the real kind. It hasn't been like this before. It's him or bust. And I've cut out toxic family members before, so I'm familiar with bust. I'd just like to not have to.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    But yeah, over all I can keep the gift to myself at least until something happens to impress me.

    Peace

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Should I just sit here moping and waiting for him apologize and come back?

    You can't expect things to change if you don't take action to foster that change.
    >should a woman do thing
    gatekeeping your own happiness just to fit some misguided concept of what's a mans job and what's a womans job.
    You can pay for the date, you can drive the car, you can wear pants. (you probably already do the latter two without questioning whether it's feminine or masculine)
    of course you can approach him and reconcile.

    IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP.
    If you insist on taking a passive role because you think that's the feminine thing to do, then you're fucking up your own relationships.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thank you for the realism anon. I could take a small step, after I've stopped stewing and let the unconscious mind work on the problem.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    stop being a cold bitch and let him know how you feel.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Look at you, YOU LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE GIBBON MONKEY BITCH!? come ‘ere COME ‘ERE! IM GONNA BEAT YOUR FUCKING ASS AND BREAK THAT JAW LINE! run little cunt run! I’m coming for ya! You got a forehead on ya like a coffee table you know that? Always yabbering on about getting your butt hole pushed in and selling those said butthole pics online for ONLY $39.99! GIVE ME THAT ARCHED BACK, LEAN IN, ILL Start porkin ya! I’ll even throw a couple black eyes your way too! Yeah you like that…..U LI THA!? Raaaaaaaggghg RAAAAAAAGGGHHH. Here I’ll snap that little turd cutter for ya! Don’t need to be such a little shit swirler! what do you mean I’m a schizo!? YOURE THE SCHIZO! COME ‘ERE COME ‘ERE TAKE IT TAKE IT!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH…eerrrggh rvrrrrdhgggggg. Alright im sorry just get outta ‘ere you little use cum bucket I got work to do.

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