I'm not entirely here

i try to love.
i recently just broke up with my boyfriend.
i have been a mad person since long before we met.
he loves me so dearly.
but how can he love someone he doesn't know?
the darkness is all I've ever known.
boys don't want me for "love, they want me for pleasure.
and if you do want me for love, you're lying.
he told me he doesn't like how i don't care about anything.
so i broke up with him.
i have never dated a person more than once.
he could have been the one, but hurt is all i know best.
why don't i care?
because if i did care, then people would have a reason to hurt me.
people don't realize that love doesn't exist.
if it did, we would have happy endings.
but in the end, we're all dead.

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