I'm in what is, in all ways other than name, an arranged marriage. My fiance for this is a nice and reasonable enough guy.

I'm in what is, in all ways other than name, an arranged marriage. My fiance for this is a nice and reasonable enough guy.
He knows we're only doing this for our parents. I'm thinking of asking him if we can still just live at our own places and continue as normal after the wedding, but I'm worried for the off chance he might freak out and tell my parents and then it'll get a lot more difficult.

Should I just bear with it and move in and do the expected wife stuff, or try to push for a little more independence?

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    God i hate women so fucking much

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine if your life was this fucking easy, anons

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do you not want to marry him? Does he want to marry you?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He's excited about getting married. I'm accepting of the situation but it's not my choice.

      God i hate women so fucking much

      Sorry?

      Imagine if your life was this fucking easy, anons

      It's easy getting forced to marry a man you don't have feelings for?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        How are they forcing you? Why can’t you say no?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's an important tradition where we live, and if I don't do it my parents are going to stop paying for college tuition for me and probably write me out of the will and cut me off from the family.

          The consequences are too severe to ignore, is the big thing.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >if I don't leech off this guy I won't be able to leech off my family

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I pay my own rent and bills, but I'd never be able to make tuition without their help. I want to be employable, and I need to finish college to be able to get a good job to avoid needing to leech in the future.

              How long until you finish college?

              Two more years.

              If he wants to marry you I doubt he’ll agree to you both living separately and not really being married.

              I suppose either just go through with the marriage or tell your family you won’t do it, they might cut you off but you can pay for college with a loan or something then pay that off from your career.

              I kind of figure he won't like the idea. I'm just hoping with how nice he's been he might be willing to go for it.

              The loan thing is an idea.

              What's more important to you?

              >retarded family
              >marrying someone you have feelings for

              I want to marry someone I love, but I care about my family and don't want to lose them.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Love is made, not found.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Maybe tell him you don’t want to get married but your parents will disown you so he can tell your parents he chose to call it off

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                He can tell his parents you’re a lesbian or a slut or something so they don’t get mad at him either

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                this is probably your only option to get out of it.

                I pay my own rent and bills, but I'd never be able to make tuition without their help. I want to be employable, and I need to finish college to be able to get a good job to avoid needing to leech in the future.
                [...]
                Two more years.
                [...]
                I kind of figure he won't like the idea. I'm just hoping with how nice he's been he might be willing to go for it.

                The loan thing is an idea.
                [...]
                I want to marry someone I love, but I care about my family and don't want to lose them.

                >I want to marry someone I love

                have you taken a possible relationship with this guy seriously?

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >have you taken a possible relationship with this guy seriously?

                She already said he’s nice, it’s over, there is no passion, she wants the cool asshole Chad

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I've told him this much, and he seemed offended by it. He told me how eager he is to be with me and said he hopes I'll come to like him too.

                this is probably your only option to get out of it.

                [...]
                >I want to marry someone I love

                have you taken a possible relationship with this guy seriously?

                I'm interested in eventually having a relationship with someone, but I've never met anyone who I felt attracted to. I've started to think I might be asexual, for my lack of sexual feelings.

                You don't care about your family you care about their money stop pretending

                I care about my family, but I do acknowledge a need for their money due to my circumstances.

                Be attracted to each-other, love each-other, accept your roles in a relationship, create a family together and value the family you've created you negligent sponge. And have him do it too.
                A marriage being arranged is not a valid excuse to be unattracted. If this person isn't a bad person, then be a relationship person in your heart instead of a single person playing pretend.

                How am I supposed to do that?

                Communicate with your spouse that you are not okay with this arrangement but you have plans for the future and can't afford to have your tuition cut off. If he is not supportive then congrats; you are in an abusive relationship and you should leave.

                Leaving and taking a loan for tuition is very intimidating, but that seems like the course I will have to take.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                If you are asexual, you won't ever find someone you love regardless, so you might as well go through with this and get the most out of it financially.
                You should find a way to siphon money away into an account only you know about where you can invest your money.
                After 2 years when you are done with school and you have a decent sum saved up, convert it into crypto and flee.
                You should find ways to go on trips, for work or vacations etc.
                Once you have a vacation in a foreign country, simply get away when you have the chance.
                Buy some clothes in a store while you have his money, change in a public bathroom and take some pictures. Use those to make a tinder profile and get an untraceable free airbnb.
                From there, you can make a better plan and keep moving so your husband can't find you.
                Eventually, he has to go home and probably gives up searching.
                Now you can take that crypto and use it to start a life in a 1st world country.
                Seek asylum in the country of your choice and simply live a better life from there.
                Do you have to suck some cock along the way? Yes. But all you have to do is a little bit of manipulation and staying fit while you save as much money as possible.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You don't care about your family you care about their money stop pretending

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Family is who you choose, not exclusively who had sex and made you/your siblings. Life becomes much easier once you realize this. Don't intentionally destroy the connections, but make it clear what you want to do with your life.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            How long until you finish college?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lmao "feelings"
        Women, am I right bros?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If he wants to marry you I doubt he’ll agree to you both living separately and not really being married.

        I suppose either just go through with the marriage or tell your family you won’t do it, they might cut you off but you can pay for college with a loan or something then pay that off from your career.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What's more important to you?

    >retarded family
    >marrying someone you have feelings for

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Be attracted to each-other, love each-other, accept your roles in a relationship, create a family together and value the family you've created you negligent sponge. And have him do it too.
    A marriage being arranged is not a valid excuse to be unattracted. If this person isn't a bad person, then be a relationship person in your heart instead of a single person playing pretend.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Break up with him, and move out of your parents. Drop out of college and start working right away. Share rent with a roommate if you have to, then go back to college at another time.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    seing as we don't live in 15th century anymore id straight up tell everyone to fuck right off, but that's just me.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Communicate with your spouse that you are not okay with this arrangement but you have plans for the future and can't afford to have your tuition cut off. If he is not supportive then congrats; you are in an abusive relationship and you should leave.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >this is considered abusive
      Woah haha wait where am I this doesn't look like a feminist subreddit

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >being forced into a marriage against your will and your future is taken hostage is not abusive
        fuck off

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          [...]
          also
          >married to a person who doesn't recognize you as someone with ambitions and a life of their own and wants you to be their wife despite there being no love there instead of recognizing the uncomfortable position you're in and supporting you through it is not abusive

          >spousal disputes are abuse
          I didn't say anything about him forcing her into it

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            her parents are forcing her into it, that is abuse

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Then call her parents the abusers, not some innocent guy who is being forced into it too

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The 'innocent guy' is not innocent if the woman tells him that she's not interested in this and that she's under coercion by her parents and then he insists on them living together and doing couple things, because then he is complicit in the coercion. That is why OP needs to tell him exactly what she thinks about the situation.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Way to dilute the situation with mild-sounding nonsense. It's not a spousal dispute; she shouldn't be a spouse in the first place if it's contrary to her plans and desires. She is there under coercion by her parents.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >being forced into a marriage against your will and your future is taken hostage is not abusive
        fuck off

        also
        >married to a person who doesn't recognize you as someone with ambitions and a life of their own and wants you to be their wife despite there being no love there instead of recognizing the uncomfortable position you're in and supporting you through it is not abusive

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