LULZ / TV & Film

>I'm drunk right now

>I'm drunk right now

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Zemeckis’ only good movie in like 30 years

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >what is Beowulf

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        A 1000 year old poem turned into an incredibly shitty movie with cgi actors

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Didn’t feel zemekity enough. Why was this a zemeckis movie?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He’s autistic about planes and plane crashes

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I completely agree. What the fuck happened to that guy?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Between Flight and Forrest Gump, Zemeckis schizophrenically sifting through 60's normie boomer tracks, like Rolling Stones hits, Fortunate Son, etc. Particularly bad in Forrest Gump how much jumps from one track to another.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    WHAT A LIFE

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Man, I wish I had some ice cold vodka and oxycodone right now

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks for the heart arrhythmia, pills and alcohol.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Druk bros?

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How could no one ever smell it on him?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I imagine most pilots smell like alcohol.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They were drunk as well

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Does vodka produce that booze stench that whiskey, wine, or beer creates?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, they all do. It's the smell of alcohol evaporating through your pores

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          w-what?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Alcohol evaporates from your bloodstream. It's what causes the dehydration that gives you a hangover. As it evaporates it escapes through your pores.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I used to have a really bad drinking problem. Like would always get black out drunk when I did have some like how Denzel did when he got access to the mini-bar at the hotel. Had to kick the habit entirely. But, anyhow, worst part of a hangover for me, outside of the head pain, horrific bloat, and taste in mouth, was the smell of urine and shit. Had this horrible sweet smell. Fucking dreadful experiences and I don't miss it in the least.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I just turned 35 and I can barely drink anymore without getting nightmarish hangovers. Impossible to predict too. Full stomach, empty stomach, four beers, twenty beers, hydrated, dehydrated- doesn't matter. I'm fucking bed ridden until 5pm the next day at least. The head pain of a migraine with no relief.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Stopped drinking in Feburary, always had a very nasty problem with spirits like Jack Daniels, Gin, etc. So made it to 3rd June (so nearly 1/3 of a year sober) when I decided to have a bottle of red wine and three 500ml bottles of 6.5% ale. Sort of rationalized it in my mind that it's fine because not spirits. Got black out drink and vomited, and discovered the washed clothes, etc. the morning after that I couldn't remember putting in the machine for a cycle. Horrific hangover too but I still was able to do weights that evening, which is me functioning better than most hangovers I've had. I half regret not making it to 1/3 of a year and half don't because snapped me out of the delusion that all can be dandy if only I stay clear of spirits and reminded me the sobriety, for me, is better than the drinking, however irregular.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Stopped drinking in Feburary
                Was it worth it?
                I keep considering it but its kinda the only thing I enjoy in life

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yes, but I also focus on a lot on weight lifting and I've got a naturally good face, so I have an incentive to not get bloated as fuck with alcohol. And I'm a fucking shut in, but even that helped me resist. You need something to help tide you over.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I quit drinking for a few months after I got hurt at work. Holy shit being sober is boring.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                kek what a pussy

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Its from the ricewater Americans call beer.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Except I almost exclusively drink Becks/Stella, homosexual.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                drink tequila
                its the only thing i could tolerate in my 30s now but then again ive always been a lightweight and smoke weed instead because it actually helped my 6'4" tall person joint pain

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              You get dehydrated because alcohol inhibits the secretion of vasopressin from your posterior pituitary, thereby making you piss a lot.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                nothing can inhibit me from secreting vasopressin in your posterior pituitary.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Based mutant.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Would I get less drunk if I drunk in a bathtub full of water

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Reeks as bad as cum.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Chronic alkies don’t sweat alcohol like occasional drinkers do. Their bodies metabolize that shit almost entirely. That’s why it takes them so much more to get a buzz. Active alcoholics frequently aren’t even drinking to feel drunk, just to not feel like shit from withdrawals.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They didn't care. Remember the beginning of the film? All the flight attendants were coked up and drunk too. Most of them apparently stopped once they're on duty, but they didn't give a fuck. In real life airlines are constantly struggling just to find enough pilots to keep flights going around the clock. So in the movie I can see some people looking the other way to make sure the planes leave on time.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        At least once a month, it seems, some commercial pilot will be pulled out of the cockpit before flight for being drunk.

        https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/mar/03/jetblue-pilot-drunk-flight-alcohol-florida

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >drunk n-word remains calm and lands plane miraculoustly white nerdy whiteboi freaks out and screams for Jesus
    >plane wing clips a church steeple and almost crashes into a bunch of churchgoers in front of a cross outside
    >drunk n-word: "God didn't land that plane, i did."
    >drunk n-word then fucks a white woman
    >nominated for multiple academy awards
    i fucking hate garden gnomes and their garden gnome movies so much it's unreal

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    wondered if I was drinking too much (about 5-6 pints a week, most people say that's not that bad) and decided to be sober this month
    >it's actually much harder than I thought

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's perfectly healthy drinking, to be honest. Even if you had 3 pints on Friday and then another 3 on Saturday that shouldn't be giving you hangovers that are nasty, debilitating you, you remain lucid, etc.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >decided to be sober this month
      This is very important to do, be sure to remind yourself(and prove to yourself) that you don't need it. I do this periodically, and often end up going well past a month after reaching it.
      I believe in all of you

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The only time I ever thought I might have a problem was when I did a dry month and found it much harder than I expected

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        then what happened?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Well I completed the dry month and celebrated with some coronaritas with the squad. Next year I'll do it again. Good way to check yourself I guess.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            nice. sounds like i'll be doing something similar at the end of the month

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Don't smoke
    >Don't drink
    >Never used any type of drug
    >Don't even drink caffeine anymore
    >Waking up is the hardest part of every day
    >Can't feel anything

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      God is testing you

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I'm too bored to go to Heaven.
        I wonder what MLB team God prefers?

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Nicé làzy ēye

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I get drunk 3x a week and have no problems

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Based tank. I go through two handles of vodka a week and drink every day after work and on weekends, and I can still get up on time and get to work with no problems on an 8 hour shift.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I get shitfaced every Friday/Saturday. I don't touch the stuff for the rest of the week. Is this bad?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      yes. you're a normie homosexual.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm a pint of vodka in and have another pint of vodka in the freezer...I am having a hell of a time getting out of PHL in Filght simulator.

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