I'm currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend.

I'm currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We've been together IRL plenty of times as well. I'm a US citizen, and he is a citizen of a Nordic country. He recently got a job at a defense company and had to go through security clearance for it. He decided to not mention me at all because it would make the process be more complicated and take longer.

If anyone's familiar with this, how much more complex would it be? Is it a better idea to just pretend we aren't together to them?

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It means he doesn't want a long-term relationship with you. It's over, he just wants to use you for intimacy now until he finds a Nordic girl that would make the process easier.

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You will never be loved give up. no ring equals nothing but a stranger

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I'm still a student... Our plan is for me to move by doing a master's program there. He said he'd redo the security clearance stuff when we're formally physically together (for residence forms)

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        He's just lying to you. He doesn't want anything long-term

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          What do you mean? He's paid plenty for my flights and such. He said he'd be ok with paying for the master's program too.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            So, you're like a prostitute which he flies out to have sex? Sounds great!

            Anyway, the truth is that he's going to dump you once he finds someone more appropriate, such as a Nordic girl.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            We play vidya and such on Discord together when not physically together. And he's not usually the one to initiate sex when we're together.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Yes, so he is using you for intimacy (emotional and sexual) until he finds someone more appropriate.

            He didn't mention you because he's aware that you don't have long-term potential, and he pays for your flights because he wants to have sex with you.

            If you were a partner with long-term potential, you'd be able to financially support yourself. You would get a job right after completing your bachelor's and finance your studies by yourself.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            how can you be on this fricking website see evidence that men can have hidden motives and thoughts and think it can't apply to your bf.
            so fricking dumb, don't bother making man hating comments in 2 years when you are uglier

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >plan is for me to move
        Nobody wants you here. No matter what people will tell you to your face, you will always be a stranger. Think real hard about what you want to do. I'd stick to your little dystopia.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >discouraging immigration just because muh racism
          I agree that it's a very risky move though, OP needs to learn about Nordic culture right now, be ready at the prospect of getting another boyfriend in that country or having to go back to US if things fail, figure things out with family, etc.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I don't like interacting with people already. I have the autism part of the culture down. Already started learning the language. Also got used to things like metric system measurements and 24 hour time. Family already gave the ok. They were surprisingly chill with it.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            When are you getting married?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I wish you good luck anon

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >> I'm currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend.

    That's not a boyfriend.

    >> We've been together IRL plenty of times as well

    How many times a week for how long? Oh what you mean you've only seen it other a handful of times? Then that isn't plenty.

    A LTR is only a real relationship if;

    1. Your relationship was originally based irl for at least 18 months prior

    2. The period of long distance is fixed and short. 6 months or less. Yes, a minority can make up to a year work but that's really pushing it and takes a certain type of couple.

    3. You go out of your way to visit each other as regularly as possible during that time

    You're a foreign national, so yes, getting security clearance with you in the picture would add many more layers of complexity and interviewing you. However, they don't stop digging once clearance is approved, they will find out you exist and failing to disclose your association is a criminal offence.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Still a student, so we visit when I have breaks. Also how would they even find out :o. He's planning on redoing the forms when we're together permanently and have to fill out official forms for things.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Are you moronic? It's a nation state security apparatus. They will track all of his phone calls. All of his internet activity. Who he meets up with. The lot. If he has contact with you, they will find out about you, it's that simple.

        So he either needs to stop talking to you or he needs to redo the forms now. If he doesn't, he's committed a serious crime against the state and will spend a decade or more in prison when they find out you exist.

        If he tries to redo the forms now, they're going to start asking more questions and this could still lead to criminal charges for lying on his initial form.

        The best thing you could do for him is cut contact completely.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          According to him, the exact word they used for close contacts only applies to people who physically live together. He also said nothing that would apply to me was brought up, so he didn't find it necessary to talk about me during the interview.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            The word being "girlfriend"? Nice of you to acknowledge you're a prostitute

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            nope, more like "close relative." more along the lines of common law partner or spouse than long distance gf.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >long distance gf

            no such thing exists. you're a dial-up cum dumpster

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >A LTR is only a real relationship if;
      >1. Your relationship was originally based irl for at least 18 months prior
      >2. The period of long distance is fixed and short. 6 months or less. Yes, a minority can make up to a year work but that's really pushing it and takes a certain type of couple.
      Says who… you? Lmao. What a moron. Imagine just making up arbitrary rules because you feel like it

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    itt an american prostitute that sucked 20 bbcs finds out she's a cum dumpster one flies out to a different country when horny

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      He's my first everything <3

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    What are you studying? What is his income? What Nordic country? How old are you?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      not going to give exact details
      comp sci, $50-100k range, not specifying, 21

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Not enough to support your studies. He's not seeking anything long-term.

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Am currently working for a US Defense contractor. It is in fact easier to not mention it, but not by that much. There is no danger being affiliated with a US citizen. If you were from a country considered to be hostile to the US and its allies, then it'd be more complex.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    why are women so moronic

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Also don't listen to most of these guys, they are moronic and bitter that they can't make an LDR work. Make sure you know what he told them so there's no discrepancies later on when you're together.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      His plan was to just not bring anything up unless they specifically ask or until we do meet the criteria of being physically together. Technically, there is also a paper trail of him filing a form to let me stay with him for a while when his country was still in Covid lockdowns. They might ask about that, so he'll probably have to tell them eventually.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        he'll be charged and locked up, and you'll be in an insane asylum fricking blacks in the US

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          did that story hit home for you or something? tell us your LDR failure story anon

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Honestly, it sounds like it's more complicated. If they specifically asked him about relationships and he didn't explicitly say,"I have a girlfriend in the US", then it may become troublesome for him, because there's plausible evidence that he lied about something, and you'd be surprised what those people can find. If he did actually lie, then he's kind of stupid. It'll probably work out though.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, I honestly thought it sounded overly convoluted and questionable bc big daddy America controls Europe anyways, but he was telling me this when I was half asleep at 1AM. I'll talk to him about it again when he wakes up.

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I’m in a similar position. My gf and I have been together for 4 years, I’m American and she’s from Western Europe. We are going to get married next year and she’s going to move here

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Ive always been extremely interested in edating. OP, if I offered to pay you $100 in crypto, would you allow me to spy on you two's conversation for a day? I am deadly serious by the way. And if anyone else besides OP would be interested in making some free money, my Discord is bananas#7726

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