One hungover Saturday morning, somewhere between a Netflix binge and consuming a leftover slice of pizza, I began to wonder what it’d be like to drive for Lyft or Uber. ‘Imagine all of the crazy stories that my drivers have heard! Are people as awkward as me? Oh god, what would it be like to be on the other side of my drunken ride home? Woof. What a mess.’ I thought.
Curious, and bored of going out with my girlfriend and her friends to “fucking dance our faces off, Ryan!”, I took the next logical step.
I signed up for Lyft and set out to experience life from the driver side.
After meeting all of the necessary driver requirements — a Department of Transportation medical examination ($100), a vehicle inspection (1 hr), a background check, and a mentor session with a current Lyft driver — I put my car in Driver Mode and rolled out.
To make things worthwhile, I left a journal in my car and prompted riders by saying, “OH, shit! You look like you’re dying to confess something…there’s a journal back there if you’re interested in contributing? If not, that’s cool.”
The confessions poured in like bros to a gym. Here are the best confessions I collected after 60 days of driving for Lyft.
Meet the organic goddess
Stalker Level: Overly Attached Girlfriend
Probably the best Salmon Bake ever
“Smoke weed, everyday.” -Dr. Dre…and this girl
Finally, a friend you can count on
This will end badly
This was Kristin Cavallari …just kidding
Another wholesome Grindr homewreck!
Note: These are real submissions that I received voluntarily, and anonymously from my Lyft riders. Thank you to those who so bravely submitted their confessions.
Ps. Support a struggling genius boy wonder artist by buying his highly collectible NFTs.