Long story short
>cheat on my gf a year ago while drunk
>she forgives me but leaves
>start fucking the gril I cheated on to keep ex gf off my mind (not the brightest idea ik)
>she catches feeelings so I dip as per our prior understanding
>half a year after cheating
>start feeling a little bit like myself
>meet girl at uni and tbh she's awesome
>feel like moving on and forgiving myself
>get drunk again and cheat AGAIN
>with the same girl
>uni girl forgives and wants to keep on dating
>my mind is shattered
>im visibly depressed
>I thought I got my shit together but did stupid again instead
>on and off with both uni girl and the one I cheated with
>can't stand me hurting them
>but sometimes I get these urges to be with them
>so no I'm dating the girl I cheated with
>but we've almost broken up a week ago
>and honestly I'm just so fucking hollow
>pic related is my mental state
I know I've done wrong. I will start seeing therapist as soon as I get the money (currently during my first month of a new job). Don't know if current girl and I will last. Everybdy's forgiven me but tbh I just don't want to keep hurting them with my erratic behaviour. I thought I was doing good before the secnd time but after that something just broken down inside me. I'm not alive, rather a hollow body and a witness to this meatsack's actions.
>I'm a hollow version of myself
There's no such thing as being hollow.
If you feel unfulfilled, be fulfilled, and quit your melodramatic bullshit.
But there is something as perceiving one's state as such. From my point of view I've gone against my rules and people I love or care for.
Unfulfilled in what sense?
I've reduced alcohol consumption to bare minimum in both frenquency and amount
Did you do this before or after you cheated the second time?
After both times, but after the second time to a greater extent. I don't go out almost at all and when I don't drink more than one or two beers provided that I'm even drinking that night.
You have to understand that as a person I take (took) great pride in my beliefs and reliability as a person. After the first time it took me a couple of months too feel confident in myself. And then I destroyed it again. You can say it's a melodramatic bullshit, but to be honest it's an important part of my life.
Then just drink 0 alcohol beers when you feel like you should drink. Just cut it out totally. There's no shame in saying "When I'm on this drug that disinhibits me, I do things I don't like doing, therefore I do not do that drug."
But yes, I think you are being melodramatic in that the solution is simple but you've avoided it twice for some reason and are acting as if it's a disaster. Just stop drinking dude, it's clearly bad for you.
>But there is something as perceiving one's state as such
Yeah it's called being wrong and being sad for no reason, fuck that noise.
Despite our dissagreement - thanks
I also think cutting out alcohol completely, with no song and dance, will be good for your confidence.
I dont go to clubs, never really have, if that is what you mean
You must be ESL. Ironically, the only guy I know who does wild shit when he drinks is an ESL Pole. He no longer drinks.
Anyway, "No song and dance," means you don't go making a scene about what you're doing. In the context I used it, I meant, "If you just quietly set a target for yourself to no longer consume alcohol and follow through with it without telling anyone, I think it will be good for your confidence."
/adv/ is a reminder that no matter how good your life is, your human brain will find some way to make yourself feel shit and depressed.
New phrase to my dictionary. I'm a relatively private person so it will fit me percetly. Thanks.
This shouldn't discourage you to improve in other regards.
>Despite our dissagreement - thanks
Oh hey, you're welcome.
Remember that wellness is a choice, and once you've chosen to be well, you can mock all the stupid homosexuals on /adv/ who stay sad, with the full knowledge that you are right and they are wrong.
To some extent yes. I have prevailed and grown in many aspects of life in the last few years. Sometimes calling somebody a stupid homosexual is good, atough from my personal expierence it is better to call out the bullshit but also provide understanding or warmth.
I don't have understanding or warmth and I don't want to, so this is your problem, keep up the good work.
Man, I really hate this meme. Just stop drinking and hold yourself accountable for your actions. I know a lot of guys who are absolute upright men until they get a bit of alcohol in them. All of them realised and since dropped alcohol.
Nigga you like variety pussy. Something most men feel jackass. Just stop dating these bitches and go sport fucking.
I thought I did but really I don't. Sex doesn't feel good when I'm not in love. I mean, it feels awesome, but there is something lacking.Either love or that muscle grip thingy of my ex gf. Or both.
Well your lack of empathy is your own problem, not mine. Thanks buddy, you too.
Bruh you cant tell me you crave love and then turn around and say you're a serial cheater. If anything you like the new thrill a woman gives (her form of attention, the feeling of a new body, seeing her quirks), but once you fuck you instantly crave the next thrill. You're a dog chasing cars and there's no shame admitting it. It's ok because im the same to a degree, I dont want to cheat but my mind starts to wander once I've slept with the same chick 3 or 4 times.
Yeah I love the thrill of meeting and flirting with someone new, especially when I see that my actions pay off.
To be honest I have some set of rules that I follow in such scenarios (regarding STDs, pregnancy etc), and I don't really enjoy fucking multiple women at once. It's too much of a logistical strain and n emotional one, as I don't like to limit to fucking only. Thus in the end, my way is to settle down with a single woman.
you are a homosexual.
>being beautiful enough to date a girl and find a new girl to cheat with
I'm not that good looking.My girls always talled me they fancy me, but I'm nothing spectacular. Most of the success I've had with women is confidence and humour based.
Women only find handsome men charming and funny, this has been studied, admitted, proven, and observed. Congratulations.
Cry harder homosexual. Some men succeed despite the odds and most don't. You're clearly the latter.