If I am a desperately lonely and touch starved mtf should I just hook up on grindr to try to make it better? The problem is I don't even like sex I just want to cuddle and talk to someone while we fall asleep so I can fool my brain into thinking someone cares about me. I think I'm fine with using my body to get that but I'm worried I'll feel even worse once it's over.
Try hooking up on lex tbh
okay ty for the suggestion I might try it. I can't tell from reviews if it's a t4t hook up app or t4t friends app but I guess it probably varies by area. I am straight (I think) so I am not sure I want to hook up with a trans person but irl trans friends would definitely help with the lonely issue
>You will definitely feel worse.
Well I'm no stranger to depressive self harm spirals. If I'm just using someone else to engage in that behavior I mean at least the guy gets something out of it? The main problem is I think I am not a very good friend because I can't give a lot into the relationship, it takes a lot of effort for me to try new social things and I'm not very emotionally available because I'm struggling with my own mental problems.
You will definitely feel worse. My advice is to use another app to try to make friends and explicitly make sure you get someone you trust on board with the idea of just cuddling
Go get a massage homosexual
this wirried me if i ever tried that app too
are real relationy connections possible from grindr? i need an emotions and passion and bpd girl with same need to belong and be mutually totally codependent
Wya? This sounds exactly what I'm looking for but I've been scared I might need to have sexual encounter to achieve this and that nobody anywhere would want to just cuddle
USA east coast
Can't believe this guy messed things up with Ariana Grande baka
Awfully broad (understandably so), but I'm southeast coast
If you wanna chat my dc is asphaltblack
A______ G______, please just add me back. Unblock me. Whatever. Talk to me please. I'm sorry I sperged and wasn't more understanding.
You're probably not them, but I'm just making an assumption based on your image.
You need to move the fuck on, I see you making these desperate ass posts every day.
I understand how you feel. YOU FUCKED UP. And YES, you have to live with it. It may haunt you forever, and maybe you'll never get over it, but you'll grow numb to it and move onto the next thing.
You're not the first person to rumble a bad bitch, but she rejected your money bozo. Move on!
>I just want to cuddle
All I want is your body I'm not your fucking mom.
Yeah? it's a trade you get to use my body to get off and I get to have some emotional intimacy for a bit. It's a pretty nice body too
oh damn actually close. what are you a guy? other mtf? did you read my post about being a bad friend? the last two people I talked to on discord were kinda mean
I'm a little brainwormed about "intruding onto womens spaces" especially lesbian ones and at least on grindr I was hoping nobody could yell at me about having a dick but maybe you are right that women would be less pushy about hook up sex and doing things I don't wanna do
Yeah, 6'1" m cis masc pan
I'm cool with if you're a bad friend, we don't even have to talk much. I'd just love a hug and to feel like somebody cares for a moment as well.
>I get to have some emotional intimacy for a bit
I don't know how that'd work in order for there to be emotional intimacy in the first place both of us would need to have the capacity for it. If you or someone like you and me were naked and about to do some things I don't think I'd be able to give you that intimacy. I don't know how emotional intimacy works because Ive never been emotionally intimate with someone. Can I at least get better at being emotionally intimate? Or will I forever be this way?
Hey, somebody with a lot of emotional walls here.
The few times I've achieved what I'd call "intimacy" was by being vulnerable with my partners, which probably took 3-6 months each. It was made increasingly easy when I would either 1. Feel superior to them 2. Was shown an incredible amount of kindness and non-judgement 3. Was sure they'd be in my life for a while
I tend to not open up since I'm acutely aware that everybody leaves eventually, and when they do it has torn me to shreds.
It's amazing to meet someone truly kind, but it's incredibly rare. You can learn and grow a lot from then.
>Being vulnerable with my partner's
You see the problem with that is nobody ever explains what it means to do that. Does it mean you should cry in front of them? What if you're someone who doesn't cry? I'm not someone who cries but I don't even know if the reason I tell myself "I'm not a cryer" is the right one. I just assume that there's a biological reason that's entirely due to genetics is why I don't cry maybe I'm repressing my softer side due to the environment I was raised in. Idk.
Vulnerability is different for everyone, really. I had a tendency to withhold all information about my life from everyone, so telling somebody about my family is actually an act of vulnerability for me. Many people have known me for years without knowing I have siblings.
Sexual intimacy was a big step for me, as a recovering porn addict and ex-fat kid, it was a huge step for me to be physically intimate with someone. That was a step of vulnerability
I plan my purchases weeks ahead, to see if I really need things and I have a lot of autistic logic behind my reasoning. Explaining my "logic" to people is an act of vulnerability for me.
Whenever anybody whom I've shared this traditionally normal things with others, I freak the fuck out. I don't even want them to tell others my favorite color.
I'm not much of a crier either, I think that's a very 2D way to look at vulnerability and I hope my other examples helped put it into perspective.
It is scary, it will hurt when they leave, but I think it's worth bridging that gap as nothing else has been able to recreate that feeling (and trust me, I've done a lot of drugs to try)
I was worried about that too but I never got any weird messages
It's a great app if you're looking for T4T
Anon, do not fucking go to grindr it is hell
I found this app a called "Her", it's pretty good managed to get a nice cuddle session partner.
It's mostly for lesbians and trans ppl so it's much better imo.
It'll probably make you feel worse once they leave, I've tried it and it absolutely doesn't hit the same as staying the night with somebody.
oh I was hoping that they do stay the night with you and then I can make breakfast for them in the morning. is that not normal?
As my autistic ass has found out, it's not. Most guys just want to come over, fuck, and bounce. I have gotten to stay over at other people's places but I get the vibe that they want me out of there and that kinda sucks.
oh okay that would definitely make me feel really bad. how would that make any feel good ever? I can't imagine wanting to just leave asap after having sex with someone. I was hoping that was just gay guys that do that.
Oh well I haven't really either I guess so I am probably just trying to substitute physical closeness instead. The big problem is I pretty much completely shutdown emotionally when my clothes come off because traumabrained so there isn't gonna be any intimacy until I get my pjs back on.
Received two Discord invites rn, unsure which ones you but I accepted both.
Sleeping together would be nice in a nonsexual way, although I personally wouldn't be able to facilitate that since I'm still living with my mom (financial circumstances + property is comically expensive where I'm at)
can you guys just get along