I sabotage and cause fights

I am definitely a philophobe. I was very in love with my husband. He abandoned me, cheated on me and caused me so much stress I lost almost 40 pounds. To this day, I can't not feel love for anyone. I am just too afraid. Men love me. I have so many to choose from but even when I feel confident enough to try I can think of a million reasons to be alone. I find fault in him and me-it's so much easier. I sabatoge almost every aspect. I am the Queen of causing a fight. I am excellent at putting up walls. I am a master builder. I hope one day I can be cured of this awful phobia.

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