I refuse to feel attached

I don't know if I'm a philophobic but I don't want to fall in love, it scares me like crazy. But what I find strange strange is that I'd like to be in a relationships, I'd like to have someone next to me who is deeply in love with me and give me all the support and attention that I need, wich many philophobics doesn't want.

I liked some boys ( 2) but it was never really ... you know, serious. I wanted to be with them but I never see myself in a good, long relationship that can last more than 6 months ... And then I met this boy, he's amazing and everything but he's also a heartbreaker. He made me realise that now I refuse to feel attached, close and attracted to anyone. I will do my best to no avoid that, I kill my heart if its needded.

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