I just hate how deeply insecure I am and how unable I am to form relationships of any kind. In my head people are repulsed by my presence and I think that I shouldn't leave my home. Yet, I drag myself to my job every morning and spend my days thinking if one day I'll stop being a pussy and have balls to just kill myself while I try to not cry in public again. Seeing my face in a mirror annoys me, and it's tiresome (for the lack of a better word) to listen to my own voice when I need to say something. It feels like I didn't grew up mentally, I see people around my age talking with their friends,having fun and relationships which makes me wonder what I did wrong along the way to despise myself so much. I don't know from where these thoughts come from and now they live in my head 24/7 since November 2022(when I felt like I should see a mental health professional) and since then they only got worse.
Anon the first step to getting better is being kind to yourself. And yes you should absolutely seek therapy.
It's easier to show kindness to yourself by leading the example of other people being kind to you as well. Don't close yourself off from interaction just because you feel you don't deserve it. I'm glad you reached out, even if it was here. And although I'm just an anon I empathize with how you're feeling. Make it known that you aren't okay, if not to your family, to a therapist.
Things do get better, you don't have to be stuck in a cage of self-loathing.
Problem is I already tried therapy and meds(2 months) I made some kind of progress but it got financially impossible to keep up. Thanks for the reply btw
The progress is slow but it's worth it, it's the financial part that's gonna fucking suck. I hate to suggest this, but is there anyway family can help with that?
Absolutely not. To be honest, they will just make everything worse
I’m in a similar boat. Right now I’m trying to be more proactive about what I want. It might be too late but I’ll only know if I give it a shot anyway. I’ll give it a few months and see if it makes a difference
At least you can hold down a job OP. Be proud.
I grew up with a narcissist alcoholic single mother. It really fucked me up. Sometimes I can hear her voice on the wind or in the dropping of water and I completely tense up. I grew up feeling ugly and not good enough forever. When girls in college showed interest in me I straight up didn't believe them. I was paranoid of everything. I thought I was being made fun of.
Now I'm an adult and I have so many failure labels on me. [Virgin] [NEET] [poor] [loser]. And I still feel top ugly and unlovable for humans. I'm such a headache, but I'm self aware enough to never want to inflict myself on a woman or anyone really. I feel lonely. But I feel wrong for feeling this. You're supposed to be happy alone, you're supposed to not need women, you're supposed to not need love. I feel like a failure by my own standards and the standards of others. I don't think I could ever meet anyone patient enough for me, and I don't think I can really fix myself up enough to compete in this hyper competitive world.
It makes me sad. One of the only things I dreamed of was to have a family of my own. Ever since I was a kid I thought about what it'd be like to be a father. I didn't really have a dad. And I have no template for what a good loving relationship is. So I'd probably fuck it all up.
I feel like all I can do is spread my misery around. I feel like I should avoid people so they can live their happy lives far away from my sad one.
you both articulate how I feel so well, thanks for sharing. hopefully we can gradually form relationships and live mentally healthy
Incel thread. Die CIS INCEL
Wtf is wrong with you?
It as seriously makes me happy to see moids suffer. But yall probably making this stuff up. Men have it soooo easy
Happiness doesn't come from external things, anon, otherwise most people should be happy most of the time. Most people has it really well from that point of view.
Someone once said that most do the right thing for most of their actions these days. Yet, also that most of those are done for the wrong reason.
Everyone deserves to be respected.
Fuck off. I hate men.
You can surely have also mercy of yourself, anon. There's no need to behave like that.
Weird samefag
It's the same mentally ill womyn posting the same negative and sententious shit in every thread.
this is a fucking incel thread, fuck a proatitute and fuck offffffff
Manipulative male thread
I guess these things can be not so simple.
Sometimes it can feel somewhat troublesome. And one not certain of how to go about it all.
Having mercy of oneself, love for others, these things are possible, I'd say.
You are not what others think, say or do. Neither a cloud of emotional thoughts.
Don't identify yourself with these. Nor beat yourself too hard for them.
I really hope you can find it.
If you accept a few book recommendations, they might help:
A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle
Apology, by Plato
Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod
The gospel
They can be quite helpful.
God loves you, he really does. Never forget it
Pseud