I put on my CV that I like to golf because I read online that's seen as a positive

I put on my CV that I like to golf because I read online that's seen as a positive

Now my boss mentioned he remembered reading that I like to golf and asked me if I want to join him next weekend.

What should I do? I've never golfed before and dont even know how to hold the golfing stick.

  1. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Golf is the shit test of the business world

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Golf is really really fucking lame. I really don't like it. People that play Golf are insufferable Scottish fags

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        t. inner city poorfag

  2. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    That'll teach you for lying, cunt

  3. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    just tell him you got it confused with hockey

  4. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Lmao, my boss asked me to join him too

    Just say you hurt your shoulder working out or golfing or some shit

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      That's a good idea, since I also lift weights. I'll just say I tried maxing out on overhead press and now my shoulder is hurt

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Yep. That buys you time to learn how to golf

  5. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Fake it until you make it :*~~
    Get a buddy dressed all in camo to plant balls on the green for you

    • 6 days ago
      American

      Great idea

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Great idea

      >dressed all in camo
      hae the war drone videos not taught you anything?

  6. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    You should fake an injury. Something in shoulder/neck/back. Take a day off to "see a specialist." Pretend to have minor surgery and then while "you're recovering," learn to golf.

    Or say you meant miniature golfing.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Learning to golf takes years lmao

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        It takes an afternoon. You’re hitting a ball with a club anon. Not performing surgery. It takes years to MASTER. You can be an amateur in 20 minutes.

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          If you tell your boss you golf and can't connect with the ball at least most of the time you're going to look like a fool. There's a difference between saying you golf and saying you've golfed.

  7. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Find a tutorial on israelitetube.

  8. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    alert the greenskeepers that hole 405257498 needs a cleanup

  9. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >oops i meant mini golf
    i played too many years of baseball so i have a hard time swinging a golf club
    just tell him you goofed but you'd like to learn at the range if he's willing to show you. then say the next round is on you for making such a fuck up.

    • 6 days ago
      American

      That is a bad idea

  10. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Didn’t you test positive for covid? I guess you can’t go golfing.

  11. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Fuck man. I hate to say it but golf is one of those annoying sports you have to do REALLY bad at it, and still keep going at it and eventually you just get good enough to be able to hit the fucking thing straight it’s not like fishing where you just get lucky.

    I would go to a golf course or driving range ASAP. Tell them you want to rent a 3 iron and a driver and for 10 bucks you get like 50 yellow practice balls. Go out there and swing and miss for a few hours while being on YouTube looking up tips or wait for the eventual old guy to come up and offer you help. You need to absolutely see how hard it is to adjust before hanging out with your boss. Say things like

    “I love golf but it doesn’t love me”
    “As long as I lose less than 10 balls it’s a good time for me”
    “Im terrible but I still love the environment and getting away from the wife/gf/ball and chain”

    When it comes to actually playing, you’ll just want to ask how far he thinks it is, and then ask what club he uses and either pick the same club number or one above or below it. You don’t have to be Tiger Woods, and you won’t ever be. Your boss hopefully will have fun watching you suck, and when he asks if you want to “hit again” tell him you’ll just drop wherever he lands.

    For real though. Good fucking luck pretending you “play” golf anon this is gonna be tough. Get whatever advice you can here and YouTube but get your ass to any golf course and use their driving range and chipping practice areas

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Oh and have fun, it’s pretty satisfying knocking the piss out of a ball and watching it fly perfect. Also yeah, don’t try to hit it as hard as you can every swing. It’s you vs yourself vs your buddies drinking and laughing it’s a really good time. Just find you a drinking buddy and tell him let’s get drunk and smack some balls around but say no homo or else on the 3rd hole of every course you’ll have to suck his cock. My trainer was like that every golfer knows this rule.

  12. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    tfw you play off 10 and put golf on your CV
    you're a giant sperging idiot
    not only do you get days off to network for the company, the prizes for corporate golf days are often really good

  13. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Just go to a range for an hour dumbass. Watch like 15 min worth of youtube videos. Nobody said you had to be good

  14. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    BE HONEST TELL YOU FUCKED UP AND HE FIRES YOU YOU'RE OKAY WITH IT. LYING NEVER DOES ANYONE ANY GOOD

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      U GOT CAUGHT PARTNER

  15. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Always keep your eyes on the ball during and after swing, follow threw the ball.

  16. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    You strained your arm or whatever, so you haven't played for a long, long time.
    You basicly have to re-learn golf at this point, as you have to learn how to strike while compensating for your arm.
    You should read up on the lingo though.

  17. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Weekend? Tell him you have something else to do, birthday or whatever

  18. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Tell him your transitioning surgery won’t allow it.

  19. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Just tell him you'd love to, but you have a bad knee or lower back and can't play for a while. And then go start learning and practicing. Buys you time.

  20. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Say that you were briefly in America and went to Top Golf. Since then you’ve been practicing in your back yard, but to be honest you haven’t played a full course. Ask him to show you the ropes.

    This shows that you really like the sport, but is an explanation for why you, naturally, wouldn’t be good on the course. To be fair, not many people are.

  21. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Watch YouTube videos to learn terminology. If you have those ranges where you just hit the balls all day in Germany then go to one.

  22. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    TELL HIM YOU RECENTLY MOVED AND TOUR CLUBS ARE AT YOUR (insert family here). THAT YOU WILL GET THEM AND GRT BACK TO HIM WITH A TEE TIME SOMEDAY. DONT BE A RETARD JUST TALK.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      You can rent clubs at any course for 20 bucks at the maximum, usually less

  23. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    smash one of your hands with a hammer and create a lie to fill another gap in your worthless life.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      People dont go golfing for the actual sport. Golfing is about having a male only space

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        sure thing

  24. 6 days ago
    Butter

    Go mini golfing with him

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      i got kicked out of minigolf once for bringing my own 3 wood

  25. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Tell him you wii golf.

  26. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    say naggers broke into your car and stole your clubs then if he insists on renting a set at the club just blame all your awful shots on the rental clubs adn the naggers.
    >hit bad shot
    >these fucking rental clubs SUCK, my Driver I hit perfect, FUCKING naggerS!
    make sure you look your boss square in the eyes when you say naggers.
    i play golf every week so this is the best option

    good luck anon!

  27. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Get a doctor to put your arm in a cast. Make up any story you want. Put arm in a sling.

  28. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    YouTube, then driving range. Learn your clubs. You’ll be fine.

  29. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    just say you had other plans dumbass...
    with your non existing partner they will want to meet next.

  30. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >golfing in Late November
    doubt

  31. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Most guys I know who golf aren't that good either. You can probably fake it well enough with a couple practice rounds. Explain ahead of time you're still pretty new to the sport so there's no expectations of it being competitive. It's mostly an opportunity to shoot the shit.

  32. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Everyone knows golf is just a reason to day drink and drive carts around enjoy the weather anon and use it as a networking tool

  33. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Op listening to all the golf tips and shit advice is worse than not posting this thread at all.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      take him mini golfing pissed up with a driver club, you don't really need skill for it and it's a smashing great time

  34. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    if you are athletic at all like you can throw a baseball reasonable well at a target it won't take too long to get the swing down. just go to a range. watch videos on the rules of the sport. on the day you go with him just say your swing is feeling off / you are pretty rusty. hype up the course as nicer than you are used too etc. if you are an unathletic uncoordinated mess then don't even bother you are going to break a club.

  35. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >I like to golf
    Does not mean that you are good at playing. And your boss will be glad that he is so superior to you

  36. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Kill the boss

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      i have actually put a homosexual in hospital hitting with a golf ball. was a 200yard 2nd shot dogleg play so was by complete accident. me and my buddies kekkage was huge.

  37. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    just go to any golfing range and practice. you don't have to make a thread about it on 4chink.

  38. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    You just lost your job, Ahmed.

    I go golfing and tennis with every single new idiot who put that on their CV and size them up this way. I have fired 3 people with golf handicaps below 23.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      but a lower handicap is good dude
      my brother is very good and has a +6

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        >but a lower handicap is good dude
        That is the point, they cannot beat me at my own sport.

  39. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Admit that you're not good and you'd appreciate his help. You enjoy the sport but you're a beginner. Honestly, asking for people's advice - particularly men, and particularly if they're hostile to you is an IRL cheat code. Benjamin Franklin used to do it all the time to his most hated enemies, it really diffuses situations.

  40. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    no golf this time of year hans. nice larp

  41. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >doing anything with people you work with outside of work

  42. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    you shouldnt.

    golf is for rich fags, unless you are applying for finance or related jobs, id turn you down instantly

  43. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Just be a honest anon. They wont care and will watch you try for humor and even give you a tip or two. He is inviting you because he likes you

  44. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Just make sure you hit every drive past the ladies tee. You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t clear the ladies tee

  45. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >I put on my CV that I like to golf
    just tell him you made a typo, that you meant 'i like gold', and that's its just down to your israeli ancestry. it'll go down well and be a huge win for you.

  46. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    use the hiking/mountaineering excuse. its something that can be done alone or in group.

    that usually works

  47. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    It's over. You need at least a couple of months of practice to look like you know what you're doing on the course.

  48. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Tell them you've just been castrated as part of your sex change and can't do any sports in foreseeable future.

  49. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Go to a driving range and learn how to hit the ball. The trick is to let the club do the work. Also, you don't have to be good at golf to enjoy it.

  50. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    you just hit the ball, what's so fucking difficult? anyone can do it.

  51. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Damn I'm jelly I fucking love golf

  52. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Go out there and fucking suck I guess. TBA I dont understand how you havent been found out through conversation yet.

    You cant name a single golf course or talk hardware. Time to get caught in the lie

  53. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Well that's not enough time to train. So be honest with your boss: you like golf, you're just a terrible golfer. Because of <real, time consuming life reasons>, you don't get to the green as much as you want. But whenever you go out and golf, even if you have a terrible game it is still an awesome day.

    That's realistic, practical, and opens up you to organic mentorship from your boss. Once someone invests into someone else, they are then vested into their success, meaning that having fun and enthusiastically accepting feedback from the boss will lead to him subconsciously taking you under his wing.

    If he doesn't do this, then he's too much of an asshole to grow under anyways, so Golfing with him is pointless. Golf is for networking and discussing business in a professionally casual environment with a distraction. There isn't a legit business leader on the planet which looks down on anyone who currently sucks at <thing>, but is improving themselves at it, and has swallowed their pride enough to accept they suck today, but with enough tomorrow's, they'll be better.

  54. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    I do that too. I usually write this as hobbies in my cv:
    >golf
    >ski
    >collecting cars

  55. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    I went golfing with my new boss and he said I was the best he’d ever seen and it was the first time I’d never picked up a golf club lol. Cleared most holes in 2 stroke par. Was some pros on the course and they were asking me for tips and said I should have gone pro. Honestly, it’s not hard, just go there and relax like I did.

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