I made a friend but

I’m a woman in my mid 20s and I have no friends… haven’t had any in a while but I met a guy who lives 20 minutes away. However, he is the biggest normie I have ever met in my life. He goes hiking, has a very successful career, he has traveled to dozens of countries, has friends… I just don’t see how this could work. Is it weird that I’m thinking about just ending this friendship? I think it would be better to end it here while fresh because I don’t see how we could be compatible. I am a shut in weirdo…

  1. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    That doesn't make him a normie. His views on stuff and how he approaches stuff do you doomer.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      He approaches things like a normie. That’s what makes me uncomfortable lol

  2. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    No it's not weird. The thing about these kinds of mixed friendships is that it's not totally mutual. He means more to you than you mean to him. You'll remember every conversation you ever have with him, he'll forget your last name. It makes you feel like a creep or a stalker. I've been there.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      omg yes.

      This is exactly how it feels. He is my only friend and social interaction while he has many friends. He’s talking about friendsgiving. He talks about how he had lunch with a friend Saturday morningish then hung out with another friend in the evening.

      and then he was saying sometimes he gets lonely… I felt a little triggered (?) because he doesn’t know what loneliness is tbh

      I do feel like a creep.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Bait, if not this proves your a bigger Normie than him and he is probably a deep and profound guy

  3. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >"friendship"
    >"compatible"
    >you talk like you`re all over him

    Yes anonette, your fear of getting too close and then being discarded because your lifestiles are too different are valid.
    But do you really have any reasons to believe it will be this way ?
    Maybe you could learn a thing or two from him on how to have better, more normal life instead of being friendless girl with no successful career.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Anon, what am I supposed to learn from an Ivy league graduate who works in a very gatekept position hmm? Babe he said therapy worked for him while I’ve been to multiple therapists and on many different medications. My issues are beyond what his kind words of encouragement can do

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Learn that you can enjoy social activities, travel and be happy with little things while not spending hours overthinking your position in society.
        I didn't mean him teaching you anything, I meant you picking this all up in process of being around him

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          I can’t like those things
          Ihave social anxiety/ mild agoraphobia. That’s another reason why I think this won’t work

          So you really do fear developing feelings while you don't see him as """your type""" or too afraid of being just another one of his exes

          This has nothing to do with dating. I am just someone who can get clingy because I have nobody else to talk to

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            >I can’t like those things
            >Ihave social anxiety/ mild agoraphobia

            You don't really know if you like them or not if you can't really try to enjoy them since your mental issues block you out of it.
            I never traveled up until recent years and I found it to be enjoyable, although I still think people pedestalize it as an activity.

            Same with friends - was friendless up until got a network and realized it's nice to care about people and support / be supported

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              I know life would be better with friends but how is someone like me who hasn’t been socialized and is behind is basically every aspect supposed to make friends my age (23-28 i guess)? There are 15 year olds with more life experience than me…

              how the fuck is he a normie if he likes the things you mentioned?
              do you even know what a normie is?
              what you met is a healthy, balanced male

              He’s a normie from his attitude and how he speaks about this. He’s very NORMAL. No “autism” or “quirkiness” at all.

              1: How is he a friend if you have nothing in common?

              2: Guys don't have girl friends. They have women they want to be with and women they haven't been with, YET. You're the latter.

              3: Stop pretending you want friends when you want a relationship. You're being dishonest from the start.

              4: You don't have to agree with people to be friends with them. Enjoy the connections, guard your heart.

              Proverbs 4:23

              We are friends because we talk a lot. Sorry but a man like him is too good for me. He probably would never consider dating me even if he finds me attractive. I do not want a relationship at all. I swear. I am just starved for connection and not good at forming healthy friendships when the opportunity arises because I’m socially inept and deprived from any attention.

              Bait, if not this proves your a bigger Normie than him and he is probably a deep and profound guy

              How am I a normie anon? I am a WOMAN who posts on LULZ and has no FRIENDS

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >but how is someone like me who hasn’t been socialized and is behind is basically every aspect supposed to make friends my age

                By slowly trying to make new friend connections and overcoming your anxiety, up to the point of developing a strong supportive network that just eases your anxiety so much you stop feeling it ?
                I've done it through a discord group and later an irl group. Took me some time but I got there.
                Do you want me to share a link to a server for people like you ( although predominantly male ) ?

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                My last discord experience was a catastrophe so no but I’m glad it worked out for you.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >My last discord experience was a catastrophe
                How so?

                Kind of wish we'd get new members

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                The servers/community I was in had members investigated by the FBI. There were people who had folders on other members that had doxxing info. There were pedos who constantly had to be banned. In a somewhat adjacent server, a girl was murdered and that legit made the news.

                I just dropped discord one day and never went back LMAO

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Okay, those are some super fucked up places, I'm honestly surprised. Mine is two years old community without issues like that, generally small communities are more sustainable and sane, but okay

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah I’m glad you met normal people but my discord experience was just a lot

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Just because a man has many friends doesn't mean that he doesn't know what "loneliness" is. One can have a lot of friends but still feel lonely around them. Hell—the loneliness doesn't even have to be socially related—it could be some internal struggle he's going through or something.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                I guess but I don’t consider that true loneliness…

                hmmm....first its ok to have friends and acquaintances very different than you. Its ok to be exposed to different perspectives, even discomfit, when you begin to question your own preconceptions (labels) of them and yourself. In this case he is getting something out of the conversations and interactions with you o he wouldn't bother. You aren't being fair to him but especially yourself. You're scared of having a different life, thats understandable, but have the courage to stand in front of the guy at least and not run away.

                I’m about to ask him what he’s getting from our friendship

                >He goes hiking, has a very successful career, he has traveled to dozens of countries, has friends… I just don’t see how this could work. Is it weird that I’m thinking about just ending this friendship?

                There's nothing with that, why does it bother you? If he's a kind and decent person you enjoy spending time with, that's what matters. You're probably just intimidated and self-sabotaging the relationship so he doesn't have the chance to reject you.

                Just be nice to him and make him feel appreciated. You're too self absorbed in your own insecurities and turning him into a caricature instead of a human being who might have his own insecurities and dreams.

                It bothers me because I’m not on his level and people usually befriend similar people? Also, how much longer can such an opposite friendship last?

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >I’m about to ask him what he’s getting from our friendship
                i think that is a fair ask and I've done it too but be prepared for blunt truth. His interest may be friends only or it may be romantic interest and if you have this much issue with a budding friendship what happens when you don't believe someone like him would eventually love you, just the way you are.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >But do you really have any reasons to believe it will be this way ?
      Allow me to be the reason. It was that way for me. I didn't want it to go like that. I tried my best to keep in touch without acting obsessed. I tried to not be obsessed. I couldn't not be obsessed, and I couldn't help but feel hurt that I was just one of dozens while they were my only one, and I couldn't help feeling guilty that what had started as a real friendship had turned into a parasocial relationship.
      There isn't a solution to this. The truth is that I only befriended that person because they were extraordinarily friendly, which meant everyone was vying for their attention, which meant they couldn't give me what I needed from them.
      This is a structural problem with the relationship. It's not just about the people themselves. It's that they want something totally different from the other.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        > which meant they couldn't give me what I needed from them.

        All their free time and dedication ?

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Not all, no. You think a friendless person is that needy?

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            You yourself claimed becoming obsessed, and you're friendless and you also a girl.
            In my book those are pretty solid reasons for a girl to be that needy even if she doesn't realize that and desire special treatment. And you pick above all else - outgoing socially set people, and not some shut in autist who's as friendless as you are, because it's much less likely to collide for you two than to collide with a person of extensive friend network

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              >and you also a girl
              Incorrect.
              >it's much less likely to collide for you two than to collide with a person of extensive friend network
              What the fuck does that mean? "It's less likely to collide?" That's incomprehensible.
              And I don't choose outgoing people. They choose me. That kind of comes with the territory. If you don't get that, I really think you don't get the dynamics at play.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >It's less likely to collide?"

                It means that single people stay single because they don't interact with anyone or place themselves into situations where they can start a dialogue or anything like that. It's somebody who can initiate all that first that either makes it a lot easier or does all the work in establishing a connection.

                >and you also a girl - Incorrect.
                >They choose me
                Boyo, in my experience girls never choose anyone just because

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                I am at a loss to understand what point you are trying to make. Of course I, as an unfriendly person am unlikely to befriend another unfriendly person.
                >Boyo, in my experience girls never choose anyone just because
                Indeed. It was rare. She was persistently friendly to me. As she was to everyone.

                As far as I can tell, you seem to be trying to explain my own point to me. The reason OP was able to befriend this man is the same reason the friendship can't work out. Yes, it's clear that OP was aware of that from the start, and it's the reason she made this thread.
                So, what point are you trying to make that isn't already understood?

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                I'm trying to say your friendships will never work because you usually don't end up with asocial people as an asocial person with whom you can connect, because you never meet or interact with one

  4. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Why end a friendship?
    Just because you two have different views on everything doesnt mean you have to fully avoiding him and cut your friendship with him.
    Its just a friendship

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I will start feeling bad about myself. I could get overly invested because I have no other friend/emotional outlet

      Is he an actual friend or are you gonna be dating and just testing the water?
      In other words, do you see yourself being romantically involved with him if it happens?

      No. Hes a friend

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        So you really do fear developing feelings while you don't see him as """your type""" or too afraid of being just another one of his exes

  5. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Is he an actual friend or are you gonna be dating and just testing the water?
    In other words, do you see yourself being romantically involved with him if it happens?

  6. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    how the fuck is he a normie if he likes the things you mentioned?
    do you even know what a normie is?
    what you met is a healthy, balanced male

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      85 IQ post

  7. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    1: How is he a friend if you have nothing in common?

    2: Guys don't have girl friends. They have women they want to be with and women they haven't been with, YET. You're the latter.

    3: Stop pretending you want friends when you want a relationship. You're being dishonest from the start.

    4: You don't have to agree with people to be friends with them. Enjoy the connections, guard your heart.

    Proverbs 4:23

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >Stop pretending you want friends when you want a relationship. You're being dishonest from the start.
      This is asinine. She's starved for personal relationships altogether. She's desperate for some kind of connection.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        What is so obnoxious about the average /adv/ poster is this insistence to apply a one size fits all solution to every problem, such that you would look at a person who's lived in a hole in the ground eating worms for 100 years and chastise them for having "dishonest intentions".

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Ok, but she's talking to the opposite sex. Again, dishonest.

        What is so obnoxious about the average /adv/ poster is this insistence to apply a one size fits all solution to every problem, such that you would look at a person who's lived in a hole in the ground eating worms for 100 years and chastise them for having "dishonest intentions".

        That's because they have perspective, and you don't.

        It's not too far-fetched to assume that most people with problems are creating those problems, and it's pretty obvious that OP is either being blatantly self-deceptive or is plain incoherent.

  8. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    So you are afraid that you will be too invested in him because he's your only friend and your solution to this problem is to end the friendship.

    Let's say you end the friendship. You then have to make another friend, but you'll also end that friendship because you're afraid you'll get too invested in that person because he/she's your only friend.

    And then you repeat the cycle, unless you manage to find a friend group.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Yup. I guess solitude is my life.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Well then end the friendship and live in solitude if you think that's what fits you. But keep in mind that, as generic as it sounds, humans are social creatures.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          I mean I know humans are social creatures. I am just unable to make connections.

          It’s funny because I want to be a psychiatrist. I’m a clown.

          Go outside, go to libraries, events, volunteer. You'll never find good things in bad places. Likewise, you'll never change by doing the same things. Ever.

          You're trying to change your life through someone else. Never going to happen. Its up to you.

          Proverbs 9:8

          I do volunteer… I go outside sometimes. I meet older people/parents. Not anyone around my age.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Go outside, go to libraries, events, volunteer. You'll never find good things in bad places. Likewise, you'll never change by doing the same things. Ever.

        You're trying to change your life through someone else. Never going to happen. Its up to you.

        Proverbs 9:8

  9. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Entire Thread: Woman wants husband from a friend, modern society will never allow it.

    LOL.

  10. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    You use the word normie but do you just mean extroverted perhaps? If so that shouldn't be bad to make you work out as a couple, maybe it could even be beneficial because opposites do attract and you can maybe learn how to open up to people from him and he might learn quirkiness or deep convos or whatever from you. Stop seeing everything in such a blackpilling way, he's a human and not a movie trope you sperg

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      No. He is a NORMIE. I have met extroverted ‘non-normies’ and non-normies with good social skills before. It’s very different.
      I’m not trying to date him. I want friendship.

  11. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    hmmm....first its ok to have friends and acquaintances very different than you. Its ok to be exposed to different perspectives, even discomfit, when you begin to question your own preconceptions (labels) of them and yourself. In this case he is getting something out of the conversations and interactions with you o he wouldn't bother. You aren't being fair to him but especially yourself. You're scared of having a different life, thats understandable, but have the courage to stand in front of the guy at least and not run away.

  12. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    He's in it for the pussy, you deluded sperg. Who would want to be friends with you?

  13. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >He goes hiking, has a very successful career, he has traveled to dozens of countries, has friends… I just don’t see how this could work. Is it weird that I’m thinking about just ending this friendship?

    There's nothing with that, why does it bother you? If he's a kind and decent person you enjoy spending time with, that's what matters. You're probably just intimidated and self-sabotaging the relationship so he doesn't have the chance to reject you.

    Just be nice to him and make him feel appreciated. You're too self absorbed in your own insecurities and turning him into a caricature instead of a human being who might have his own insecurities and dreams.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      shes afraid of falling in love with him. She & he may already be half there but she's got the perfect torpedo as a woman for a preemptive take down. She waits a bit, he becomes interested in her romantically, then she fucks some random guy and lets him know.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Low IQ
        I’m kv

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          that doesn't matter. First girl that told me she liked me was and within a week she lost her virginity to some guy she didn't know at a party. She said she was sad and drunk and didn't believe I would like her ever so this guy gave her attention so she did it

  14. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    We're gonna have to help normies sooner or later. Might as well stick with him and see how it goes.

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