I keep dreaming the girl I love and it's so exhausting. I'm trying to forget her but my subconscious keeps pooping her up. I feel like I'm being obsessed with her and I hate this feeling. Is there a practice, like meditation, that could help me or time is the only solution?
How long has it been?
Took me over 3 years to stop caring
Know her from at least 7 years. In the last 3 years I've fallen in love for her, things didn't go as planned and I've decided to drift away from her 1 month ago. I've already tried 2 years ago to not talk to her for an entire year, but after 8 months she came down to my place and we talked.
You should have raped her
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I wish I knew so I could help, I am so fucking depressed I'm not over this guy from over a decade ago that I've started dreamig of
suicide unironically sounds like an option for me
Just feel the feelings, don’t fight them and let them pass. Sometimes there’s a reason for it, wether it actually has anything to do with said person or our own development is your own journey.
They will pass and it be integrated eventually. As long as the feelings aren’t causing you to act out of malice or harm anyone or anything, just allow them to be and be curious what they have to teach you.
Blessings anon, I hope you find peace
time isn't a solution. Things that dwell around for way too long are either your own mental plane being messed up by their presence/absence. Some behaviour of people down here is caused by unsavory behaviour up there. Sometimes there's more behind it. If you feel you've done your due duty in the physical realm: no contact, doing your own thing, not seeking it out, and so on and there's still bullshit trying to crawl into your head it might be that your potential is simply being degraded by your mind looping.
Obsession isn't healthy. The most radiant of pairings are simple, tight and stable energies. Try to meditate and expect to feel that. This isn't the only life you've had and there are spirits of old who might remember you if you know how to call on their energy. Sometimes all it takes is perspective and seeing things for what it really is. You might be coughing up a hill thinking there's a void in your heart when actually there's just some murky shit there that doens't belong there. And once removed/uncrossed new high quality energy can move into your life.
If it lasts this long, chances are some part of you is in trouble in the spirit realm. Recovering that is meditation + self improvement, but with the right intent. You have to deliberately hold the right intent and feeling at mind while doing f.e. a workout. Recover whatever was taken or left.
Thanks for the replies. I didn't think I would've received such serious responses.
I'm simply getting exhausted by it. I've passed every stage of grief with her, and sometimes I've accepted everything with a hint of a smile. But they're just glimpses of just feeling ok.
Sometimes i find myself outside, feeling the wind on my cheeks and thinking about the old "It is what it is" situation and I feel ok. Not good, not bad, simply neutral. I like this feeling because it's the closest to the reality of the situation.
About embracing the feelings, I just don't know how to respond to them. I keep having glimpses of her when something reminds me of her and I don't know how to use them in a constructive way. The closest I've been was thinking that these are good times about the past and that I have to be glad about them. Sounds good.
She always hid her relationships with me because she "loves me" so much that she doesn't want me as a bf because she gets in relationships with people that she "doesn't" love.
I know now this sounds just like a whore. But I've known her for so long and we've got this really strong connection between each other. We also still believe that we are soulmates. I know I sound like a cuck, but I've looked at how she approaches relationships and she simply gets bored with it. While I am searching exactly for that.
>We also still believe that we are soulmates.
Anon over your journeys in life you meet more than one soul who becomes your friend for longer than a life. Soulmates are the product of you going above and beyond to help another soul out to grow and develop into themselves. You can forget or find them. Don't stick to just one or program yourself with this one and only bs. Look at the starry sky: enough sources of individual light remain even if one stops shining.
> She always hid her relationships with me because she "loves me" so much that she doesn't want me as a bf because she gets in relationships with people that she "doesn't" love.
It looks like she doesnt truly value her own feelings or yours if she is pulling this dissonant bs on you. What the fuck? If she said this to you shes obviously using you, and you are using her as a crutch imo. To me this sounds like you both have no idea what youre doing with each other and have found a comfort and familiarity out of some mutual recognition you share. But if you are posting this on x and already harbor regrets I want to give you it straight. No one who causes obsessions in you is worth it ever. I know people will justify this, I have done it too before but it is not worth it. Trauma bonding is a real thing and fucks up so many people, you can be above this. Just take what you can learn from this to avoid ever making the same mistake instead of justifying any of it.
Now, here is how I have healed from this type of situation. You need to remove the toxic person from your life step one, since there are too many mental wounds here.
Next you need to address the trauma, which usually involves feeling repressed emotions. There is a technique I learned called titration and what you can do for relief is to find a physically safe and comforting place to be, and relax. Then the obsession in the back of your head will naturally arise of course but instead of engaging in this thoughtloop, see if there is a specific memory emerging. This is your brain/body actively trying to heal when you remember all the fucked up shit, you just have to channel it.
This may seem counterintuitive but when you are in this relaxed state, and your obsessive memories emerge, recall with as many senses as possible (sight, touch, smell, hearing, emotion) one specific memory that nags you. Immerse yourself in this memory for 30 seconds to a minute. You will feel different after, best wishes Op
Good video on emotional titration
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Gotta change your beliefs fuck the excuses you feel me never say I cant, cus you can change you gotta fight for it, get outa the house and hang out with people find hobbies and a job and while doing, square your beliefs the floaters/doubts get rid of believe it. Don't matter how much time or yatta yatta those are questions and excuses own your mind dont be your own bitch. Anyways bro I hope the best for you i had to be hard
I'm already projecting me to do so. I go see movies, I hang out with friends and I play and listen constantly to music because it's my real passion and I feel relieved every time. I have a pretty good body, perfectly in shape for being sculpted.
It's just that I hate thinking that in everything I do I will even for a brief moment think about her and regret it.
I got obsessive thoughts too what you do instead of regretting right after is don't regret it have a positive thought about the movie your watching after, cus it seems like your loop is (doing hobbie, damn my old girl, oh shit dont think that whyy am i thinking that, and repeat) break the negativity notice your feelings
most people don't realize that's what obsessive thoughts is, its easy to miss, your not dumb
It is an obsession tbh. I had the same thing happen, you've most likely dreamed about her and woken up early because of it, huh?
What helped me, and what taught me to pretty much get over such obsessions with women I'm interested in is: Talk about it to someone close to you, very close, if they're open to hearing it just blast their ear off. The more you talk about it, you'll eventually start running out of shit to say, ig that deflates the feelings of "what if." Also, another main thing, simply get your mind off it. A show, book and shit like that didn't really help me, you need something that occupies your mind to the point you're not worried about her. The gym maybe helps but I found that gaming with friends is the most simplistic distraction of all time, especially if its that friend whos ear you just talked off. SO if you ever start feeling sad while gaming just take a moment and tell him like "I feel like shit cuz of this" eventually you'll just stop thinking about her. It is like your emotional connection was dulled. Now, I can freely control myself. I can block her and never unblock her. I can pretty much cut off any woman I'm interested in without starting to feel strung up on her. Once you get over your first obsession, you realize that the aftermath is better and the obsession is pointless. It is like you start skipping over that obsession. ONce you do it once, you shouldn't have to again. You can probably take your mind off shit without trying after your first obsession is over. I wont lie, dont try to just go find a new girl or a fling, youre an emotional wreck when obsessed. Plus, if you feel ugly, then it wouldn't do you much good. If you feel ugly when obsessed, eat better and run more. One mile would take you 10 mins jogging, and you'll get an almost post nut clarity feeling. Youll see results SOOON, and you'll pretty much develop a routine without her. Feels pretty good