I had always thought "she is my only one and last love of my life" but I am traumatized by my own past happiness

I got a girl one time in my life. She was my friend, classmate, and study-mate. We had been friends for about 4 and half years. Then, fortunately, I got her love. We were truly and deeply happy. Actually, we were so close to each other both physically and emotionally. We rarely had fights or quarrels.

She is a cool, calm and optimistic girl. Sincerely speaking, she is not that pretty. But, her beauty lies in her soul. She knows me well how to cool me down and overcome my wrath. That adds my favor to the already existed love over her.

Happily, with no worries, we passed 2 and half years before she left abroad for some important stuffs. By the way, we were always still in touch online for one more year until she, out of the sudden, found a new love abroad, leaving me heartbroken and hopeless for a couple of years.

I did love her and was faithful to her, and I believed she did to me as well. However, when things went wrong, it is the person left behind who feels worse. I never even imagined and thought to betray her. Anyway, she did that to me after all. I could say anything but just felt so bad, blaming the bad luck.

However, I got philophobic for a couple of years so badly. This bitterness and unconsciously concealed hatred lead me to be a heartbreaker for a few months later. After all, I got through all those grief, getting rid of hatred and philophobia, to be a smart person I always want to be. However, some heartbreak are really tough enough to shake you and your life, may be for a while or more or less longer.

Love actually is hard to understand and need both parties to be faithful and understanding each other, with more or less forgiveness, to have perfect moments altogether for life. It is easy to find love (may be momentary excitement confusingly) but too hard to maintain it.

  1. 7 years ago
    Marc Moïni

    It's painful to lose someone you love, whatever the cause. Even though you sound discouraged, I find it comforting that you didn't take it personally, like so many others who have posted here seem to have done, because this gives me hope that it's possible to heal and live life fully again.

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