I feel like I'm at a dead end in my transition. What do I do?

>clinic wants me to take steps in my social transition and come out to people close to me in order for me to get a diagnosis and be able to start medically transitioning.
>I'm a pre everything troony who still has a beard shadow after shaving who has a partially transphobic family and zero friends
>can't socially transition by presenting fem because I will likely get beaten up or laughed at in public and I can't try this elsewere because at home my parents are transphobic and I have no friends to hang out with and do it there.
>can't do diy HRT because I am poor and cannot afford both the blood tests and HRT combined.
Should I just kill myself at this point? I just don't know how to continue with my transition anymore.

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Have you tried explaining your situation to the clinic? They'll probably be more forgiving of not socially transitioning if you explain that your shithead family will kick you out on the streets if you do.

    Or you could just DIY without tests. Most of us do.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Have you tried explaining your situation to the clinic? They'll probably be more forgiving of not socially transitioning if you explain that your shithead family will kick you out on the streets if you do.
      I explained it to them but they specifically said that I have to set a number of steps in my social transition before I can start HRT, and yes it sucks.
      HRT without tests is dangerous, I don't want to risk getting a heart attack when my life finally starts to improve.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Can you just lie to the clinic or maybe explain again but cry a lot to make them feel bad

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >HRT without tests is dangerous, I don't want to risk getting a heart attack when my life finally starts to improve.
        This is a total myth from propaganda you've been fed. Unless you already know you have some rare heart condition, there's absolutely nothing to worry about. DIYing is completely safe. You don't need a blood test. Blood tests are useful if you think you're not getting enough estrogen in your blood, that's not your issue right now.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Also if you really really wanna get a test beforehand, at least in the US you can go to any private lab and just get a blood test, including hormone levels, without needing a doctor's order or any actual reason. And then you could show the results to some smart people online and they could tell you if there are any problems. Maybe some other countries are shitty and don't let you get blood tests on your own, though.

          But yeah, you do not actually need blood tests to start. This is just something they feed you because they're worried about that 0.1% case leading to a lawsuit or are basing models on older, non-bioidentical forms of estrogen. Like half the people on this board just ordered HRT online without getting a blood test beforehand and no one's ever had an issue. The only real issue from not knowing their levels is they end up not taking enough of it and don't realize it.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          wrong, you need blood tests to know your T and E levels moron

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            How often do you need them?

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    fake it till you make it

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    blood tests aren a must, pop the pills moron
    budget hondose NOW
    2mg E
    12.5mg cirpo or 50mg spiro

    TAKE ACTION NOW

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Just lie to them dumbass, go to the clinic in girlmode, boymode elsewhere until your situation improves. Or just andro mode and when pressed ask "what do you mean? This is my girl mode, do girls have to wear dresses always?"

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Just lie
      People like you should be eradicated. Who else do you lie to? What else do you lie about? Who can trust you if you are willing to tell a lie? Why should anyone trust a liar? You make me sick.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Age?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      21

      >HRT without tests is dangerous, I don't want to risk getting a heart attack when my life finally starts to improve.
      This is a total myth from propaganda you've been fed. Unless you already know you have some rare heart condition, there's absolutely nothing to worry about. DIYing is completely safe. You don't need a blood test. Blood tests are useful if you think you're not getting enough estrogen in your blood, that's not your issue right now.

      blood tests aren a must, pop the pills moron
      budget hondose NOW
      2mg E
      12.5mg cirpo or 50mg spiro

      TAKE ACTION NOW

      DIY isn't an option as I need much more things such as FFS and maybe breast surgery and to gety my health insurance to pay for it I need a diagnosis.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        when do you plan to come out? when you have scars on your face from the ffs that will take two weeks to heal or when you need to stay at the boob clinic for three days after they give you breasts?

        if you don't have a place, your parents are shitheads and you don't have money, you need to diy until you can get a place. And start saving now. If you stay with your moronic parents you save 100% of your income. Lie about your income to them, and put it into your own bank account, you are >18

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Should I come out to them despite them possibly reacting negatively?
          and yes I might try to do DIY in the meantime.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >Should I come out to them despite them possibly reacting negatively?
            no, and the dumber they are the less they will be able to process it and want to talk about it. The "day after" would be unbearable, and every day after that.

            Every month you stay with them it's money saved for your surgeries How do you come out? heck I don't know. If they have been dumb all their lives, they are NOT going to wise up for you. Their fossilized brains cannot change, and no, don't delude yourself thinking they will make an exception. In any case, save money and have a plan B.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Should I come out to them despite them possibly reacting negatively?
            and yes I might try to do DIY in the meantime.

            >do I come out to them?
            >no
            This might be bad advice. If your parents are the supportive type and know that you're very feminine and/or flaming gay. That's more of an exception than a rule but I wouldn't do it without my own place.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Buy injectable estradiol, or pills if you cannot afford injections. DIY, then when your more fem do what the clinic asks you. Blood tests are not that important, if you take typical HRT doses or use an anti-androgen. Like totally unneeded with basic information, you can get by without them to awhile no problem. It's not even slightly dangerous either. Also you only need one blood test to know how you process estradiol doses.

        Or you know what? You can get a psychiatrist, any psychiatrist to diagnose you with gender dysphoria. You don't need a special clinic to do it. At least not in the states.
        Get a referal to an endocrinologist too if you like from the psyche
        Like you have so many options here.

        All the clinic is asking you to do is come out to people close to you. Not crossdress every where you go. Not a huge deal. You can also just fricking lie. Like you gotta want it.

  6. 1 year ago
    Vegasx

    Out of curiousity, can't you just show up to the clinic in girlmode and pretend you're fully socially transitioned? Like just lie to them? How do they check if you're girlmoding in front of your parents or coworkers or w/e

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I like to throw parties at my place around Halloween, New Years, whenever, I invited people over and girlmode pre-whatever. I have beard shadow too but when I girlmode I just wear light makeup. I wear skirts too, feels good.
    If you plan on transitioning and don't know skin care or makeup and you're not even comfortable in woman's clothes then you're in for a rough time. A femme haircut, some nice women's clothes (thank you past girlfriends), and some tasteful makeup alone can put you out of male territory if your body passes.
    Work into it slowly, start wearing more women's clothing at home until it feels normal. I like to host generous parties in girlmode, makes me feel like a lady. I get compliments too. One of my friend's gf bought me nailpolish.
    You have to work at it, you have to do something.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      > if your body passes
      or if your body WOULD pass with hrt
      I was blessed with female proportions even though I'm tall

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Go to an informed consent clinic instead. They'll give you HRT, and referrals for surgery later, with no gatekeeping.

    There are clinics available in every state. All of them are covered by insurance, and planned parenthood is sometimes free without insurance if you're savvy enough at begging for benefits. Life is too short to spend getting tortured by doctors' bullshit.

    https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1DxyOTw8dI8n96BHFF2JVUMK7bXsRKtzA&ll=21.933507891912054%2C-109.09443705000001&z=2

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Go to an informed consent clinic instead
      I live in europe and we do not have those in my country.

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    i love how rapehons here have to literally lie to get HRT when for us trutrans it was literally first visit to the doctor with no arguments like it was as natural as asking for pain medication

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Just lie to them lol. Gatekeeping is bullshit so it's morally correct to bullshit your way through it.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      What would the consequences be if they found out? will i get removed from the clinic?

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Step 1: get a job
    step 2: DIY
    For real though I'm guessing you are still young-ish, 21<? I wouldn't give up on everything just yet, you still are in midshit territory.

    If you think that you are meant to be a woman then commit to that. Nothing is ever easy.

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Why the frick would they do this? Everyone would boymode unless they are autistic or have a feminine body distribution

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      "If wearing boy's clothes doesn't make you want to tear your skin off you're not true trans, and are just asking for HRT because it's fashionable"
      Gatekeeping.

      i love how rapehons here have to literally lie to get HRT when for us trutrans it was literally first visit to the doctor with no arguments like it was as natural as asking for pain medication

      Congratulations on not having been born in Europe. Truly your accomplishment is inspiring the rest of us.

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