Whenever I go into a clothing store and even think of shopping for feminine clothing. My brain reminds me not the same as actual wen and don't deserve to wear anything or try out some clothes. So I just leave the store empty handed.
When I consider trying to find a bra for my ugly small cone tits or even try buying feminine underwear I end up thinking about how I don't want to feel like some disgusting pervert harassing women to get my measurements
When I think of getting nails done or makeup I worry that I would burden someone with my ugly hands and that I'm too ugly for makeup anyways
When I consider finding a new name or trying out my preferred pronouns. I think who am I to try and force people to see me by a different name or gender
Voice training also seems like a hopeless thing to try
I'm 2 years on hrt and essentially too insecure and ashamed to let myself be seen as a woman and I don't know how to fix it all...