I can't be happy unless I'm in a relationship. How do I change this?

I can't be happy unless I'm in a relationship. How do I change this?

Schizophrenic Conspiracy Theorist Shirt $21.68

Homeless People Are Sexy Shirt $21.68

Schizophrenic Conspiracy Theorist Shirt $21.68

  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Don't be in a relationship at all. Eventually you will find happiness somewhere else.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I do not believe you and I think you're just lazy/incompetent at being happy.
      Put more effort / skill into choosing happiness (While single).

      That doesn't work, you don't find happiness, you choose to have happiness. It's an easier choice to make in some situations than others, but if you keep looking for new situations instead of being more happy then you'll be a burnout kid.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        which is exactly what he will most likely do if he stops using relationships as a crutch.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I'm 30, 31 in December, still a KHV, and can't say I've ever really been happy with myself, but not being happy with myself is also why I'm so hesitant to put myself out there because why would I make my mess someone else's problem.

      Life's little circles I guess.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        There are people in relationships and miserable. There are people outside of relationships and miserable.
        There are plenty of people who should not be in relationships at all but still do so.
        If you're even half happy with yourself you should give relationships at least an honest try.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I wouldn't even know where to start at this point, it'd be like job hunting with a blank resume, I should have started getting experience a long time ago.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >can't say I've ever really been happy with myself
        I don't believe you. You may have had many hard times, but I'm sure you found happiness occasionally. Remind yourself of what brought you joy when you were younger.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          My parents divorced when I was 10 and it was really violent and bitter to the point where I ended up in foster care for a couple years because my mom got arrested just after my dad moved across the country. I might have been happy at some point before that, but not since as far as I remember.

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    That’s normal.
    The fact of the matter is that once you reach true adulthood you cannot be truly happy without a significant other.
    Anyone who tells you “you just need to be happy alone” is coping.
    We human cannot fulfill all of our own needs. We are not wired for it.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >once you reach true adulthood you cannot be truly happy without a significant other.
      False.
      >We human cannot fulfill all of our own needs.
      If you mean can I create a computer from the sand at the beach, no I can't. If you mean can I be happy without vegana, easily.
      >We are not wired for it.
      I am, so you're wrong.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >We human cannot fulfill all of our own needs. We are not wired for it.
      Couldn't agree more. We are a social species that can only thrive when together. Plus, what is the point of life?
      #1 Keep breathing and eating
      #2 Reproduce
      Our biological function is to continue the species. It only stands to reason that a human would not be happy without the company of a mate. People who say you can be happy without a lover are coping.
      Can we survive without one? Sure. Your car can also go down the road with a couple spark plugs missing but it's not optimal or advised.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        NTA but I don’t want kids? Do you think that’s wrong of me?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          You may not want kids but you still want to frick and wake up next to a warm body that is there for you right? You enjoy the deep romantic and carnal connection that comes from a lover and partner, yes?
          Your body doesn't know that she's on the pill. You are having sex and therefore your brain releases the happy "I am fulfilling my biological imperative" chemicals.

          I used to not want kids. Then I changed my mind when I got older. Some people never want them. I think those decisions come from more societal and cognitive places as opposed to the deep biological evolutionary instinct to frick (aka reproduce).

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    That's normal. Life isn't fun

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You can't.
    Too many giga-normalhomosexuals on /adv/ will tell you to be happy with yourself first, yet they do not seem to last more than a week without a relationship.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      That’s because their relationships are lasting more than a week.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Still more fulfilling than the life of an anon who hasn't ever dated a woman in his entire life.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >all these gays saying it’s normal.
    OP, it’s not normal. I am telling you this as someone who suffers the same thing. It’s called codependency. You seek relationships not to be happy, you do it subconsciously for familiarity.

    Your sense of self, your security in you, the ownership over your own life, your boundaries, all of it is shit. It’s shit because chances are—like me & the morons who call it normal—you come from some form of dysfunctional family. Your parents (whatever it is they did/failed to do), left the impression in your mind that you and your own merits cannot be worthy of your own self. That you require an ‘other’ to complete you. That you are on probation. That you NEED the input from a caregiver (or alternatively, YOU need to caregive) in order to know peace. And if you don’t, there are implicit consequences. (punishment, neglect, arguing, fighting, whatever).

    Fast-forward to now. Now you can’t feel safe unless you are in a relationship. The kicker? They become dysfunctional relationships. Matter of a fact think deep enough and you realise how their dynamics almost 1:1 mirror your relationship to your parents. Remember: familiarity.

    And so how did that go? How many heartbreaks? How many times dumping or getting dumped? Fights? Infidelities? Ghosting? Toxic shit?

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Understand that a relationship is fun, but the reason why you need a relationship to be happy is cus u rely on it as a distraction, been there done that. Even though that relationships can be really fun and distract u, it’s a lot of responsibility and u basically give up a lot, appreciate ur time alone and dedicate to a passion, better urself so u can provide a good person for urself and a future partner, surviving without a relationship is alot like quitting masturbation, the longer without a relationship the better you no longer need to rely on it

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      But have you gone through this yourself and now are with the future partner. How long should I be single?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *