I am never going to open myself up emotionally to anyone, but lets hear your take /adv/
>why would any man give someone else emotional power over them if they get zero benefit, and best case scenario get someone who now just thinks you're kind of a loser
response?
>zero benefit
>gets you pussy
I agree but most men would disagree and say that this benefit is worth the risk.
>opening up emotionally gets you pussy
litterally how
and be indepth
step by step
because if i were to be emotionally honest with a woman i would tell her I have deep sexual needs that need to be fulfilled but I also want someone that i can fall asleep next to in bliss. I'm sure there's women that want that but I can't seem to communicate that to any women I've talked to. Apparently subtlety is huge with women but I'm not subtle at all, I either close myself off or I'm fucking horny. I've also never seen anyone else pull women (like actually) so idk what the fuck to even say. When should i just tell her I'm a loser?
Nta but a femanon who likes sensitive guys:
1. Have a regular, chill first date with her where you just go to coffee or something and talk about your interests but don't get too deep.
2. On a second or third date, start talking about deeper subjects like what you want out of a relationship, the fact that you've been lonely in the past, etc. It's good to frame it as, "I'm having such a good time with you, I'm really glad we met." See how she responds. If she seems touched and reveals something deeper about herself as well, it's good to keep going this route. If not, she might not be this kind of girl.
3. When you start to see more of each other's lives, such as scheduling dates around other obligations, talking about work, talking about your dating history, etc., that's when you "tell her I'm a loser," depending on what you mean by that. I'm assuming you mean that you're insecure and don't have a lot going on socially, maybe you are even depressed or have anxiety. She will start to see this stuff. She may ask about it. Explain to her that you're shy, that you're insecure. That she is one of the few people you feel comfortable opening up to. She will feel flattered and protective of you. If you have a "tragic backstory" of being bullied or abused, tell her that too. It makes her feel special.
Again, if she's not the right kind of girl, this will not work. But that's how you build emotional intimacy in the relationship. That's how you find out if she's the right kind of girl.
>How am i supposed to just trust that you wont think less of me
You don't trust, you find out. Telling her is the test. It's always a leap of faith and will sometimes result in pain, because there are assholes out there. Other times, it will result in love.
Any time I opened up with a girl she ended up seeing me as just a friend, even if we were dating before. It's made me be afraid of showing my true feelings to potential partners. Do you think I just met the wrong women?
Yeah, that's what it sounds like to me.
>just try again even though you were emotionally abandoned the last time, you were just meeting the wrong women 🙂
we need to just tie these bitches up and sell them off as property at this point dawg fuck all this shit
>opening up emotionally gets you pussy
>litterally how
>and be indepth
>step by step
Read Models by Mark Manson, that's exactly what it's about. I have had actual success with women based on what I read in that book.
That's charisma and that's a whole nother animal that no one on 4chin can help you with. Small tip though, everyone's a "loser" that wants love and affection deep down.
Well of course you wouldn't if there's zero benefit. But do you legitimately not see any benefit to opening up to someone ever?
>you learn quickly whether people are willing to listen and sympathize, or if they're just a shitty person who isn't worth your time
>they can offer advice
>they can treat certain topics with more delicacy - for example, if you explain that a parent died, they're not going to joke about that kind of thing around you unless you both have a dark sense of humor.
>if you do have a dark sense of humor, they can be in on the joke with you
>they may become more sympathetic to you and more willing to help you in the future
>it feels good
>they will likely become more willing to open up to you in return and you will know more about them, so you end up on equal footing anyway
Emotionally opening up to others doesn't automatically give them power, wtf.
I am fully aware of my emotions, strengths and weaknesses. I know why I am the way I am and have fully accepted that.
Sharing any of that info with someone won't allow them to do shit to me.
An example; my gf asked me if I wanted to do anything for my birthday. I opened up and said something like "I've never had many friends and because I was insecure about that for a long time I convinced myself that I don't find birthdays important, but the few times I did celebrate my birthday with people were enjoyable, so my feelings are conflicted and I don't yet know what I want"
How does that give her power over me?
If anything it benefits me because now she understands me better and can help me sort out what I want.
i guess its insecurity or something. like i don't feel secure enough to tell that to a woman i want to continue having a bond with. I would maybe tell a close friend about something like that. But is it a crime to feel insecure? How am i supposed to just trust that you wont think less of me because of these things?
It is indeed about insecurity. About either not knowing yourself well enough, or not being satisfied with who you are, or wanting to change.
Bonding with people is all about getting to know each other intimately and accepting each other fully.
If someone thinks less of you because of who you are then they aren't a good match for you.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Someone thinks less of you? You're still you. Their judgement hasn't changed you.
Not everybody will be a good match for you and the only way to find the people who are good matches for you is to open up and show yourself.
The trick is to categorically disregard people who think less of you if you open up. They're not worth your time and you are better of for knowing that.
>zero benefit
The comfort of being valued and aided by another
The very real chance of being given valuable advice
The fact that just letting it out is an immense relief
>muh emotional turmoil xD
You're the textbook definition of a nagger. I can't even blame women for being repulsed by your cringe whining.
exactly, if i express how i feel deep down in my soul EVERYONE will think less of me, in some form or another, ESPECIALLY women. Does nobody have an answer for this?
dude are you retarded? women love me because I'm super sensitive and I open to them deeply.
I ALWAYS left them my mark. If you're insipid (you look really insipid) they will fool you and forget you lol
But if you're not attractive (I doubt you are) it doesn't matter if you open or don't open to them lmao
People irl dont act like people on LULZ nor do they act how LULZ says they do
I used to do it to build mutual trust. Have real friends and connections. But past a certain age people see that all as weakness and use it against you to gain status. And I’m not innocent either. It’s a fucked up part of being human and it’s why I can’t wait to leave this shit reality behind.
You can emotionally open up to close friends, but never to your woman.
how old are you guys? LMAO
I bet you're super virgin
You're actually a social animal and you'll feel really good when you do that. You seriously have no idea what you're missing out on