//My background: Skip this if you don't care
I've been self improving for years now:
- Keto OMAD for ~3 years now
- Outdoors 11 km runs + calisthenics
- Cold exposure
- Sleep schedule
-- Results: Mental clarity + increased energy + Decreased bodyfat + increased lean mass
- Also went back to university: doing a double degree of SE + Economics
- Started playing piano
- Steadily learning new languages (I'm on Japanese now)
Final hurdle? To trust people when I never learnt to trust them. Not only that but they don't make it easy to even be comfy around them. How do I do this?
Maybe I'm incompatible, since I've adhd, Has anyone here been able to at least not feel anxious when talking to people that are hard to talk to? Literally almost everyone I talk to isn't even paying attention to what I say and is just waiting for me to finish so he can say his/her piece (some even straight up don't wait for me to finish and interrupt).
Why are people so egocentric nowadays?
Why are people supposed to be smart en masse? There were peasants and kings for a reason. Create your own circle of people and keep moving.
it's a different kind of brain workout, stimulates the growth of the motor, visual and auditory cortices
this doesn't even matter imo.
playing piano is fun.
its a skill you learn.
never open to anyone. they can and will leverage it against you.
So then how do I become mentally balanced without true communication?
simple, in one step: dont be a normie
having intellectual partners doesnt mean you have to pour out your entire soul for everyone to see.
and if you do need to vent, i think anonimity is a sine qua non
I go for long runs to vent every day, usually by the end of the day because I found it's too draining on my energy levels and reduces my productivity when I do it in the morning.
>having intellectual partners
Last time I talked to someone who was at least bearable to talk to, not necesarily intellectual, but someone who legitimately likes to learn and teach, was a guy I met at the calisthenics park. A self taught school drop out who works for the spanish military (royal guard).
In fact, most intellectuals are stuck up imbeciles who think they know everything
what i mean by intellectual partner is someone who intellectually can follow you, and, is smart enough and honest enough to find and point out holes in your theories.
honestly, its the only really necessary type of communication. you just grow so much faster when you have one, or more intellectual partners.
group intelligence kicks in, where each component does their own research, does their own learning, and then can share the information acquired much more effectively since the matter is already known and its mode of transmission is tailored to the listener
for the rest, me personally i dont care. but thats because i have been betrayed, also by my family, so keeping private things to myself is part of my nature.
so i can go years without any real communication with others.
like now. i spent a year off of any social media.
and even when i do soc media, its forums, and 99.9% of my interactions are me giving an opinion or sharing facts.
i just dont need to talk about my life. its quite boring too. its all superlatives, mostly, so i would also pass for a braggart. so yeah. fuck smalltalk. i dispense redpills instead. much more entertaining for both parties too.
They always have been. You refuse to do someone a favor and they are your enemies for life. Accept you are truly alone.
>incel thinks hes smarter than everyone else
I'm not smarter than the average guy probably, I just hate wasting time. Maybe stop whining about other people's achievements and make an effort to have some of your own.
Perceive your own ulterior motives. Remember that normoids need social interaction to survive. For them, it's a relief to hear others talk and touch a mind state different than their own. You, who've existed happily enough with your own company, don't have the same appreciation for just being around others. You don't look to them for inspiration or change. When a normie talks, it doesn't always have to be intelligent or deep, it just has to establish a conduit of feeling. You want what normies have, but you aren't used to their ways, so you seek people and try to fit them into your world like some kind of predator stalking little furry animals. The key to the normie interaction is bi-directionality. If you can't put aside your individual struggle (which we all have) and engage purposefully on even ground, normies will smell you a mile away.
I like to talk because sometimes I learn, I don't think communication is just a "normie" thing, but rather a human thing. We used to learn knowledge by oral tradition.
>its the only really necessary type of communication. you just grow so much faster when you have one, or more intellectual partners
that sounds like a dream to me. Even people who actually listen say I drain them with my constant stream of thoughts, which is why I usually le tthem speak and try to establish some rapport
>i have been betrayed, also by my family
I've been there, it's part of my problem too.
>so i can go years without any real communication with others
or a lifetime...
>i just dont need to talk about my life. its quite boring too.
same, but I don't "dispense redpills" kek. Those are conversation enders. I can talk about nearly everything, except a few things I dont care about like fashion or trends
lel so we are basically in the same point.
with the difference being i have an intellectual partner for years now.
actually i didnt speak with the lad since 3 years now.
and before that it was a good 2 years i havent spoken with him.
we learned "common core knowledge"
then we specialized in different branches.
even more so, profession-wise.
so yeah, firendship is still there. i can count on him, he can count on me
its just that we have not much to say to eachother.
smalltalk is boring, politically we are on the same page, professionally we work in completely different domains.
i will see him with a business partnership at a certain point, but im still at the stage of creating the initial investment money
As long as you're comfortable with that, there's no problem. My problem is I'm constantly wanting to get out of my comfort zone, looking for new things to do and lately I've the impulse to meet new people as well, but it feels awkward and sometimes it even makes me anxious/stressed.
>i will see him with a business partnership at a certain point, but im still at the stage of creating the initial investment money
wish you luck with that, I'll be there in a year, hopefully
thanks, fingers crossed for you too
meh if it fails I'll try the next thing, I'm used to failure
based winner attitude
Only a winner if I ever win, kek. But truly, what I enjoy the most is working on my own projects, solving problems my own creative way. I'd be miserable if I had to work a rigid schedule and model for a corp
Most people, I’ve found, are not bad as intentions go but they are instead bland. They are restricted by very few interests and revolve their conversations around them. Going deeper still, their thought patterns repeat. From certain individuals you are almost bound to hear the same phrase/conclusion multiple times in every conversation. So, finding individuals actually worth talking to is a bit of a hassle.
That being said, if you are willing to “shift down” and just spend some time with people belonging to the latter group can be rewarding in the most primal “I am a part of the tribe” kind of way.
So, it really depends on your position on the introvert-extravert slider if you ought to do social interaction with people below you.
All in all, this ought to be the least of your worries.
>Most people, I’ve found, are not bad as intentions go but they are instead bland. They are restricted by very few interests and revolve their conversations around them. Going deeper still, their thought patterns repeat
yea, I don't like to talk to those either. It's people who have decided they're comfy in their little routines and straight up stopped learning at a certain point in their lives. Now they play the same loops over and over again as their brain degenerates.
> the most primal “I am a part of the tribe” kind of way
Not my intention, I'm fine being a lone wolf in the sense that I don't need people to agree with me all the time. If I wanted that I'd just get a pet.
> to do social interaction with people below you
It's not a social or intellectual hierarchy, people have strengths in different topics and are shit at other topics, there're also different ways of thinking, different brains. Nature is not a hierarchy, it's chaos. And definitely don't think people who have more money are superior to anyone else.
I really believe most normies are happy to just jabber at each other. “Communicating” just just laughing and clapping at something they recognize.
> Literally almost everyone I talk to isn't even paying attention to what I say and is just waiting for me to finish so he can say his/her piece (some even straight up don't wait for me to finish and interrupt).
This drives me nuts and it seems to be most people I talk to, which makes me think I’M being crazy, but I’ve been aware of this for a few years now and I can’t shake the feeling that most people really are like this. Someone asks me a question and I get one word out and I’m interrupted, it’s mind blowing.
I don’t even try to redpill people or get into topics I’m interested in
True, most people are just happy to "be in the tribe" as that other anon said. I just can't, I need to do "my thing" always, which is why I sucked at school and dropped out. If I feel something becomes normal and mundane I stop doing it because it bores me. That's just how my brain works.
Most communication is nonverbal, imagine yourself as a gross coomer who communicates everything to himself and no one else need be involved. It does show
You don't. Learn to trust your gut, most people are masquerading fucking liars.
I guess I just need more interactions. I suck at being sociable.
Those things can only be judged on video or irl. But generally people don't care what you have to say, but they really like to tell you what they have to say, so asking questions is the most important communication tool for me until they're exhausted, then you can say your piece to break the silence.
Thanks for the tip. I definitely do this, sometimes works, but sometimes they just drop you the whole schpeel and then say they gotta run, kek
Yeah, if they're not interested what can you do, there are people like me who like to listen though. It's part of human experience to get rejected and maturity is to learn to tolerate it.
>It's part of human experience to get rejected and maturity is to learn to tolerate it.
Wise. I'm work in progress in that regard, but I definitely tolerate rejection better than I used to.
Im not nearly as into self improvement as you but the interpersonal issue i feel deeply.
I just want a friend i can hang out with and has similar interests.
>Im not nearly as into self improvement as you
you should give it a try, I wasn't this healthy since before my 20s. It may even help you to overcome your self confidence issues. I know it did it for me.
You shouldn't trust most people. Guard yourself around women, people from other tribes, weak men, stupid people, and people you don't know well. Just keep it strictly business most the time.
And people are egocentric cause they're lonely. It's a self reinforcing cycle.
>And people are egocentric cause they're lonely. It's a self reinforcing cycle.
sounds like an endless causal loop
I gotta go for a run, ty for the replies anons
Because it's true that people do have ulterior motives. They deceive you just to get a hit of dopamine or security or fuel to feed their ego so they can look superior to others. You're probably coming across as naive and gullible to others who know they can take advantage of you. You're all intellect and no social gaming: why people don't take you seriously.
>how to change the external world?
You've gotta change inside, Spain.
Live by serving as example to others.
Problem is people will infer and make shit up about you all the time.