How to get over a bpd ex? Also, does anyone else have experiences with a bpd partner?

How to get over a bpd ex? Also, does anyone else have experiences with a bpd partner?

I an a relatively stable person but I feel like checking into a mental hospital due to how sad I feel at the moment

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Hold up, let's focus on the real issues here.
    What the frick is that makeup?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I don’t know.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like you've taken some serious damage from the relationship if you were stable before it. Maybe call one of those crisis hotlines or talk to a therapist. BPDs can make you feel like absolute shit, that's pretty normal. No reason why you have to go through it alone though.

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Tell us what she did

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      She cheated multiple times and refused to acknowledge it. I even sat down with one of the guys and he told me the details. She still denied it was cheating.

      She eroded my self respect because of gaslighting. She painted me as controlling to her friend, she only has one cuz the rest have left her life.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        lmao, its the same scenario with every single one, isn't it? Just forget her, completely. Get a new job, or focus on your current one. Go back to some of the hobbies you had before her.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I feel like dying right now but I will try to heed your advice

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It's okay, those feelings are legit. You were basically abused. Again, I would recommend therapy. And stay the frick away from her. Block her everywhere, and that one friend as well.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >and that one friend as well.
            Not necessary. If anything, once said friend realizes the shittiness of the situation, he'll be in the same boat as you.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Irrelevant. OP needs complete separation and that friend is just another path to past trauma.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            You’ll be okay, friendo. Been there, done that, it sucks, you won’t forget, but you’ll get over it. Let yourself be okay with being alone and collecting yourself again. It’s cool to take time to feel right again, and don’t be ashamed to feel low figuring this stuff out, it’s a tough learning lesson, but it will make you wiser.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Reading this cuckmmunity and it’s honestly somewhat funny, thanks for this post anon makes me a little less hollow inside seeing others fall for the same shit I did

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Do not seek pleasure in times of discomfort. I’m sure that dread/anxiety feeling is through the roof right now.

            Don’t contact her or her friend in any attempt to receive validation of relief from the stress you’re feeling. You gotta thug this one out and recognize you’ll feel better over time.

            The moment you found out she cheated on you you should have excommunicated immediately. Learn from this and find a new girl that’s not a frickin mess.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Been there fren
        I’ve also been the butthole on the other end and still got hurt by her,
        BPD women are wild and although it’s been a few months for me and I’m still a bit bummed I promise you’ll be okay. (Pro tip: it’s a game in their head)

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >wild
          They're not wild. They're completely empty husks without identity. The wild stuff is just an act to make you like them.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Phonegayging and my finger slipped. Meant to reply, I know but I find personal interest in the amount of masks they can have, what makes it useless is the fact that behind it all they have no care but for anything and anyone but themselves and their worldview, imagine if there was a BPD woman who could not go off the deep end, alas interests aren’t the solution to healthy choices

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Took me 10 years to get over her and I will never trust anyone ever again.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    BPD women paint themselves as the victims of every scenario. They always win. There is no use fighting against it. They contort reality to fit what they need to believe. There is no sense of accountability, loyalty, etc. with BPD women. The only thing you can do is remove them from your life like a cancerous tumor because that is what they are.

    I recommend going to therapy if you need it. And if you need to be committed, do it. I have been committed three times before. So I get what you are going through. I have also been involved with a BPD woman before. It doesn't feel good. I just cut her out of my life completely and my life has improved. She will probably try to get in contact with me in the future, and I will pretend like she doesn't exist.

    What do you do when a pitbull bites a child? You put it down. Same in this instance, but you just cut them out of your life. The woman you knew never existed. It was all fake, a facade. Kill it.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This. Took me two years to realize it. It's hard to accept but that's it. They're insane beyond belief.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >experiences with a bpd partner?
      Yes. I dated one for about 5 years.
      You know how relationships have their ups and downs? Dating a bpd girl was just one long slow spiral down.
      I shut down her attempts at gaslighting pretty quick when I'd counter what she said with exact quotes but she never stopped trying. Her previous friend group was usually high or drunk and didn't seem particularly smart so they were probably easier for her manipulate.
      She also tried to pick arguments and then escalate them to screaming matches. She really did not like that instead of yelling back and storming out, I'd stay calm and ask pointed questions. Like what was wrong and what her desired resolution was and what she would prefer that I do next time this issue comes up or a procedure to follow to prevent the issue from coming up again.
      Like says, they will always try to paint themselves at the victim.
      >At work my whole department got laid off
      >I get unemployment that covers 300/month less than my previous take home
      >barley need to change lifestyle
      >Tell ex about all this when she gets home from work
      >she starts screaming and yelling about how we aren't going to have any money and will have to move
      >tell her again that we are ok on money for at least the next year while I job hunt
      >ex starts drinking every night after she gets home
      >ex starts leaving work early to come home and drink
      >ex starts ordering take out and alcohol delivery every night
      >ex starts mixing alcohol with her sleeping pills
      >ex starts yelling that I ruined her life by losing my job
      >ex starts hitting me while she's intoxicated
      >I plan my exit from the relationship
      >ex often yells and lists why I'm a bad bf and why we should break up
      >expects me to say it will all be ok
      >the next time she does this, i react differently
      >"yeah, you are right. we should"
      >she backpedals but I stay firm
      >she moves out
      >I get give her the things she wants
      >trash or give away her other stuff
      >no more contact

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I dated a BPD sex worker for a month. Never doing that again. She was a fricking psycho.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Been there bro, it's horrible. Give it time. Accept you'll never understand her as she is delusional and just not a normal human. BPD's are like masks without a face. Take comfort in knowing they'll never find love or happiness. The Riddit community /r/BPDlovedones is pretty good.

    Most importantly: no contact, like ever. Nothing. They cannot be helped. Even therapists avoid them.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Refer to my post above my bad ^

      Reading this cuckmmunity and it’s honestly somewhat funny, thanks for this post anon makes me a little less hollow inside seeing others fall for the same shit I did

      >wild
      They're not wild. They're completely empty husks without identity. The wild stuff is just an act to make you like them.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Take comfort in knowing they'll never find love or happiness.
      You shouldn't hate them any more than you should hate any other sick person. I've fallen to that place of hate, but I realized that its not her fault she's as fricked up as this by her disease. She needs treatment, not hate.

      BUT, this doesn't mean its your job to be a caretaker either. Ensure she's out of your life so that her sickness can't harm you and the people around you, basically same reason you quarantine a sick person.

      Do not seek pleasure in times of discomfort. I’m sure that dread/anxiety feeling is through the roof right now.

      Don’t contact her or her friend in any attempt to receive validation of relief from the stress you’re feeling. You gotta thug this one out and recognize you’ll feel better over time.

      The moment you found out she cheated on you you should have excommunicated immediately. Learn from this and find a new girl that’s not a frickin mess.

      And yeah, never take back a cheater. Especially not a BPD cheater, because its just not worth it. She'll deteriorate to the point of no return and you'll end up Anthony Burch or post-2020 Will Smith.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I know they crazy but why is the pussy so goooood bros?!?

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'm getting help for this type of situation. Get help op. Betterhelp

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    How to identify bpd gf?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Get her diagnosed don't jump to conclusions. Bpd is basically shit behaviour and shit personality

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >I an a relatively stable person but I feel like checking into a mental hospital due to how sad I feel at the moment
      Literally me right now.

      I can give you some red flags
      >Says they hate themselves (not dislike or dislike parts of themselves, HATE)
      >Say they feel empty inside
      >Uncontrollable, out of place anger, which always becomes violent. If they can't be violent to someone or something else, they'll harm themselves.
      >Dismiss abnormal behavior possibly as part of some illness that "you wouldn't understand"
      >Pitting either you against others or other people against each other
      >Threaten abandonment before you can leave

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Don't forget the uncontrollable cheating.

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Resources:

    >Out of the F.O.G. (Fear, Obligation, Guilt).
    Information and support for family members and loved-ones of individuals who suffer from a personality disorder.
    outofthefog.website/toolbox-intro

    >'Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship'
    by Shari Y. Manning

    >'Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder'
    by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger

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