How to become a vampire UNIRONICALLY

How to become a vampire UNIRONICALLY

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Be not cringe so a vampire wouldn't want to step into the sun just thinking about spending eternity with you

  2. 2 weeks ago
    FIZZAROLLI

    vampires r dum
    just make the Philosopher's Stone and eat it:
    https://archive.org/details/TheBookofAquarius

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Bro you're so based, shit, you even put Fizzarolli's art. You are literally the best

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You're the piss drinker? that's nasty and gay.

      Not OP but the reason I'd want to be a vampire if they are real isn't so much their immortality as their inhuman power

      It's not that bad but it's not very healthy

      vegan propaganda

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Real blood isn't even in the meat and stuff in stores
        Human blood tastes ok but it has like no nutrients
        Vampires only drink it cause of some old pact with Satan or something

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Nice Bait. Was about to go full sperg mode and explaine in detail how blood is the ideal food source for nutrition and humans cant digest plans lel

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Please do and explain, I will enthusiastically read it

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I want to be a vampire for 3 major reasons:
        1. I want to be able to see World without human limitations. And I'm not fond of Sun and prefer night anyway
        2. I want to live for a long time to see how history makes itself
        3. I don't want to age because it would mean a decrease in functionality (and this is important for reason no. 1 and reason no. 2)

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Btw can I be your friend? We would prepare alchemical potions and you know, other things friends do

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's pretty simple. Drink blood. But don't because it's really gross.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's not that bad but it's not very healthy

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    beat all Castlevania games blindfolded on ketamine and whippets... once this feat is accomplished we will contact you. make no more threads about this until then...i am super cereal

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Got it, thank you for information.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Done.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You need a vampire to feed you their blood at the brink of death (they achieve this usually by draining your blood first) that's basically it. A bite or nibble is not enough.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You first have to learn to shapeshift, then you can shapeshift into your perfected vampire form.

    Shapeshifters are technically immortal because of this.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thank you

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Watch out for richter belmont!

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get murdered by thugs after getting kicked out of a bar and have the Guardian of the Pillar of Death bring you back to life with the heart of Janos Audron.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    bamph

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why do you want to prey on your fellow man anon?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They have grown complacent, weak and droll. The shackle of humanity will be lifted and disposed of them they will be fed up on as they no longer approbate the progression of genuine entropic intelligent industry.
      Each one is ripe in mind and spirit. This is the succor and price of awareness and the ultimate end of the paranormal experience.
      To become an otherworldly being as one's self dissolves into the aether to sit before the hierophants, purohits, sages and etc.
      And the final formation of humanity as a godless terrible force.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Vampirism is a form of magic for people who have specialized in the analogy of blood and thus have learned to transmute its symbolic properties into their physical bodies. It's a specific magical system with clear boundaries and it's not an efficient system because it was created in ignorance, the things they were trying to achieve could be achieved without the drawbacks and harm of the vampiric system.

    In other words, if you want to become a vampire you need the fundamentals of occultism and an obsession with blood to the point where blood as a symbol merges with blood as a substance, that way when you consume it you'll get its symbolic properties too transmuted into physicality.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    unironically i wish i could become a vampire too

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Fhamphires drink blood.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Drink blood, don't go out in the day, don't go in peopels houses unless they invite you.

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