How to approach love of my life at work


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I am in love with this girl I work with. She's perfect. White, blonde hair, blue eyes, Christian. She's pretty quiet and is a total nerd. We work on the same team so we work pretty closely together and I'm the only guy on the team. I don't really know how to approach her or get her to like me. I've barely been able to speak to her outside of work related stuff but she always blushes when she talks to me and is uncharacteristically awkward around me so I think she might like me. I just don't know how to go to the next level or how to spark a personal conversation with her without it being awkward or jeopardizing my position at work. What should I do?

  1. 2 days ago
    Eun

    >I just don't know how to go to the next level or how to spark a personal conversation with her without it being awkward or jeopardizing my position at work.
    >What should I do?
    it may be best for patience to win and wait for opportunities to deliberately know each other such as team buildings, etc.

    any advance you pursue may be misunderstood by everyone involved.

  2. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    Let's approach the problem rationally. Harassment is unwanted communication. Sexual harassment is unwanted sexual advances, pretty much any overt sexual advance in the workplace unless directed at a nympho. Now that you know what is against the rules, you know what is within the rules. If you have this information and don't talk to her then you're a bich and cockblocking yourself.

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      I'm gonna add to this for people reading who are too autistic to know about gender. Women showing romantic or sexual interest is more socially acceptable than men doing it. That's just a fact of life. If you're male or female and you don't like this, cry about it.

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      From the human rights commission that defined sexual harrassment in the first place

      >> Sexual harassment is any unwanted or unwelcome sexual behaviour where a reasonable person would have anticipated the possibility that the person harassed would feel offended, humiliated or intimidated. It has nothing to do with mutual attraction or consensual behaviour

      Key word is POSSIBILITY.

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        >thing didn't exist until we defined it
        gay

        Otherwise I agree. That's why I said pretty much any overt sexual advance not leveraged at a meganympho will register as sexual harassment especially if done by a man. Anyone without autism knows this, we shouldn't say in a workplace, "You seem like a good Christian woman let's fuck."

        • 2 days ago
          Anonymous

          Nothing in law existed until it was defined, including rights. It's all just stuff we agree to abide by when we're born into a society. None of it exists objectively.

          It doesn't have to be overt, that's the point. It only has to have the POSSIBILITY of making a "reasonable" person feel offended, humiliated or intimidated.

          So telling a rude joke to another cowork in earshot of a third co-worker not involved in the conversation, that's sexual harassment too.

          Asking a coworker out on a date, that's sexual harassment too because the POSSIBILITY exists they will feel offended, humiliated or intimidated by your question.

          Commenting that a coworker looks nice today can be sexual harrassment.

          Many things are sexual harassment, when you're at work do your job and that's it.

          • 2 days ago
            Anonymous

            Everything you said is reiterating what I said or tangential. You can date at work, it's where 1 in 3 relationships begin, or at least was a decade ago.

            • 2 days ago
              Anonymous

              Throwing unreferenced stats around without context demonstrates nothing.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                If you're too stupid to use google you are irrelevant in any remotely intellectual sense.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                No one uses google for web search anymore retard.

                It's not up to me to try to prove your statistics, you're the one spouting them. If you can't reference your stats and place them into context when citing them then they're disregarded.

                You've made that statistic up or parroted it from someone else whom has.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                >nobody uses google
                >I'm not going to use google because fuck you
                You're the most socially oblivious person I've seen on here in years.

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      >Sexual harassment is unwanted sexual advances, pretty much any overt sexual advance in the workplace
      It doesn't have to be overt, it just has to be unwanted attention that can be interpreted as sexual (or romantic) in some manner.

      Even something as innocuous as a smile can be interpreted this way.

  3. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    >> girl I work with
    >> She's pretty quiet
    >> we work pretty closely together
    >> I've barely been able to speak to her outside of work related stuff

    Pic rel.

    Step 1. Find a new job.

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      Can you say what you're trying to say in plain English? I guess the odds are lower than 50% she wants to fuck OP but sparking an innocent conversation can't hurt.

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        I understand many of you kids lack male role models but ffs even a 4 year old can put that together.

        Listen, the basic rules are

        1. Don't make any kind of advances on women while they're at work. They're unable to leave, and it is by definition sexual harassment. That applies whether you're a coworker, third party stakeholders or a client.

        2. Don't make any kind of advances on coworkers of any gender that you will have to work with, see on a semi-regular basis or whom have any kind of power over you in the organisation. This applies even making those advances outside of work. This is a danger zone that will fuck up your life.

        If you want to date a coworker, find a new job first then ask them on a date.

  4. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    >How to approach love of my life at work
    >at work
    Easy: you don't.

  5. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    Here's what you need to do:
    1. Start lifting
    2. Get a tan
    3. Get good hair
    4. Get really social and talk to everybody, men, women, old people, even Indians
    At that point be open to dating and meeting people, start a hinge account and see who likes you.

    What you shouldn't do: hit on the girl at work.
    You don't get people to like you. A girl knows if she wants to fuck you upon first sight, just like you wanted to fuck her on first sight.
    If she didn't give you signals she's not keen. Get your shit together and fuck other women. I only put effort into women I know want to fuck me, be that they liked me on a dating app, gave me the eye in a bar or kept chatting and showed clear internet in a casual conversation. This is how it works mate.
    If you think you can do anything else you are deluded.

  6. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    Loving someone before they show any interest in you is fucking retarded.
    I offer you no advice besides "stop being a dumbass".

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      >I am in love
      >She's perfect.

      >I've barely been able to speak to her outside of work related stuff

      That's just how love works sometimes. It's virtually indistinguishable from brain damage.

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, I agree. Wtf do I do though?

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        Self control exists to counter exactly that. If you don't control your emotions that is brain damage.

        • 2 days ago
          Anonymous

          Literally has nothing to do with what we're talking about.

          • 2 days ago
            Anonymous

            >> How to handle social anxiety
            >> Control your emotions
            >> That has nothing to do with this

            kek

            • 2 days ago
              Anonymous

              Nothing about those posts said anything about social anxiety. Just love. And anxiety, social or otherwise, is closer to a mental function than a strictly emotional one.

  7. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    90% of you are fucking retarded. I'm just asking how to have an innocent conversation with her to get to know her. I'm not going to say anything that could even be perceived as flirtatious or sexual.

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      If you don't know how to say "what did you get upto on the weekend" then no one can help you.

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        You're a low functioning moron. She's pretty quiet and this isn't an opener that would get much with her. What other openers would you use?

        • 2 days ago
          Anonymous

          Says the person asking for a script how to talk to a woman at work. I hate narcissism so much it's like just admit you're stupid.

          • 2 days ago
            Anonymous

            Quit being a fucking pussy, if you can't help then gtfo.

            • 2 days ago
              Anonymous

              If you think you can be given a script for social interaction then you are autistic. Autism isn't curable but you can stop being a pussy and talk to girls at any moment you choose.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                I just want to know what a good opener would be in the workplace you fucking lesion.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                "Opener"? You've already spoken to her. You want PUA to be real or something? Maybe if you pray to God he'll change the universe to make it so.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                Unironically good advice and I have prayed about it. I still haven't been able to find an opener to get to know her better personally besides super generic lines like "how was your weekend?" or "how was lunch?"

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                If you're praying for an opener I'm not sure it's good advice. You have social anxiety and are coming up with autistic constructs about how social interaction works that don't reflect reality. Now I know I'm being very difficult here, maybe the idea of an opener isn't entirely bunk. But I'm pretty sure people who get laid are not using openers and that is a PUA nonsense. Just talk to the person. There are no magic words that will make her undoubtedly interested in you romantically or make your anxiety go away. As others have pointed out, you're putting a ton of thought into your hypothetical relationship with this person when there's a less than fifty percent chance of her wanting you romantically. You've been brave enough to insult people on the Internet so you can say hello to some woman. If she isn't interested then your fantasy will die and you'll be tasked with talking to more women, which terrifies you? Just face your fears. If you can't do this small thing then should your sperm even go anywhere but the drain? Be at least 1% of a champ.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                No, you're 100 percent right. I honestly just think the problem is my social anxiety which I don't know how to cope with. I have tried just going up to girls I like and talking to them cold open and I always feel like I fumble it because I get nervous. What should I do about it?

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                Most people aren't going up to strangers with a proposition to mate unless they're having casual sex. It's probably not a natural fit for you based on what you've said here. Meeting women at work, school, or some social venue is a good way to form a connection without putting yourself out there like a salesman which is what happens with dating apps and "cold approaching" strangers. You should take everything you learned from PUA and bin it because it's a total scam. There is no art to going to a bar and trying to fuck a woman because all you have to do is say hello and then some bullshit, which explains why there's alcohol. Half of the time you get laid at a bar it will be someone coming up to you and propositioning you. How is that artful? You could say there's an art to trying to hook up with women at grocery stores but that's generally not a place to meet women. Soon as you've got a guy with a physical appearance like Andrew Tate telling nerds how to get laid at the library that should set off scam alarms.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                I'm Christian and waiting until marriage. I honestly don't care about sex that much. I just don't know how to get over the social anxiety of talking to a girl.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                Maybe reframe yourself positively in your head. You're a man who has life goals and isn't afraid of commitment. Is your job a good one with employee benefits? Are you about to pay your student loans or car loan off? Do you put effort into your health and appearance? Are you a nice person who cares about others? None of these things will make women like you but they make the thought of being with you a more valuable proposition and you can boost your confidence this way. If you were the casual sex type of person you'd know the world is so dominated by dime a dozen people who just want to get their kicks and go with the various trends, people you can't rely on. Real people are diamonds in the rough.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                Anyway, what do you think would assuage your anxiety? What if you didn't need her to like you, and you'd be okay with her not reciprocating your feelings? Some amount of anxiety will always be there, like in a job that involves public speaking the first few months to years are almost always marked by nervousness. When nervousness goes away it can come back when something important happens, like a big presentation.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                There kind of isn't one, as work is not really the place to socialize.
                >at least here in america

        • 2 days ago
          Anonymous

          Mate, I'm not the wanker trying to pick up a coworker and unable to come up with a way to start a conversation. Do you really believe trying to insult me is the best means by which to garner my help?

          Asking her about what she did over the weekend is a good open. generic, non confrontational question that both allows you to find out about her through her interests (ie what she did in her free time) and gives you something to continue the conversation from when she answers with what she got up to. There is no way that question can be interpreted as sexual harassment and it allows you to gauge interest.

          If she gives you a closed answer like "not much" she doesn't want to know you on a personal level and you should keep things professional.

          If she says something like "I just stayed at home" you might counter with what you did on the weekend. If that was stayed home too, perhaps you did something interesting at home like saw a movie you really liked, or engaged in a hobby. Talk about that.

          If she's interested, then she'll bounce off your reply and ask questions about whatever you did, or relate to what you did with something she enjoys. Congratulations you're having a conversation.

          Closed answers means she isn't interested. If she starts giving closed answers just keep things professional.

          >what did you get upto on the weekend
          That's a painfully generic question that won't help one bit.

          If OP is saying he's trying to start an innocent conversation that can't be taken in a leading or romantic way it has to remain generic questions as their openers.

          • 2 days ago
            Anonymous

            >it has to remain generic questions
            Which itself would be creepy, and read as making failed romantic attempts at conversation.

            • 2 days ago
              Anonymous

              Not at all. "What did you do over the weekend" is perhaps the most common personal question between co-workers.

              You can walk into any workplace on earth on a Monday or a Tuesday and hear that question being asked. It's the most innocent question possible but has the potential to lead into quite interesting conversations and create co-worker bonds.

              It's how you make workplace friends. It's how you create a relationship with a boss. And it's how you feel around for romantic interest with a coworker.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                >"What did you do over the weekend" is perhaps the most common personal question between co-workers.
                No one does this. It just makes you look like an incel who's only social experiences are from reading the internet about it. People talk about these things by segwaying into them from previous topics and conversations, not asking about it. Asking about them is, again, just an incel's idea of how socialising works, and just creeps people out. People look for conversations with those they approve of, not interrogations from someone they don't know.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                Are you OP? You're coming mighty autistic. Asking someone how is their weekend is generic and won't be interpreted as "incel." Bitterness towards women and society is probably the biggest incel flag. Even then, getting flagged as incel illicits more pity among the general population than hatred. People who hate incels have a political bone to pick and are rarer than not.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                I'm OP and I agree, it's pretty generic/innocuous as long as it isn't at a bad time. I also understand the other guys point though.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                Here is how a typical conversation between coworkers goes down in my workplace.
                >Morning, X.
                >Hey, Y. How was your weekend?
                >Yeah good, I did this thing.
                >Oh cool, I've done that thing and here is a story about my experience.
                OR
                >Oh, someone I know did that thing and here is some information I picked up from their experience.
                OR
                >Oh, I've never done that thing. I'll ask some fairly simple questions about your experience.

                This is normie conversation 101.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                , X.
                >>Hey, Y. How was your weekend?
                >>Yeah good, I did this thing.
                >>Oh cool, I've done that thing and here is a story about my experience.
                >OR
                >>Oh, someone I know did that thing and here is some information I picked up from their experience.
                >OR
                >>Oh, I've never done that thing. I'll ask some fairly simple questions about your experience.
                No one has conversations like these, idiot. This does not happen in real-life, and is typically what comes to mind when people think about creepers or incels. This is not how anyone behaves in any real-life circumstances. They usually talk about the latest pop cultural phenomenon, or a recent episode from a popular TV show, or something in the news, or politics, or other people they know.

                They don't have conversations like:
                , X.
                >>Hey, Y. How was your weekend?
                >>Yeah good, I did this thing.
                >>Oh cool, I've done that thing and here is a story about my experience.
                >OR
                >>Oh, someone I know did that thing and here is some information I picked up from their experience.
                >OR
                >>Oh, I've never done that thing. I'll ask some fairly simple questions about your experience.
                They're creepy and robotic, and scares people away.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                you clearly have no experience with work, socializing, or even life for that matter. no one asks basic questions like these, and it's one of the least personal questions out there. coworkers rarely talk about anything other than work, and what they talk about outside of work (assuming they're friends) is never as milquetoast as what they do in their spare time. whether or not it's innocent is entirely relative, and in the eye of the beholder. there's nothing about this question that leads to anything interesting, and it sure as hell doesn't develop any bonds with people unless you're a sociopath who doesn't understand how people work. you don't go to work to make friends. you sure as fuck don't develop a relationship with your boss unless you're both interested in violating ethical boundaries. and romances generally mean you don't have shallow conversations like what you do over the fucking weekend.
                >i swear, men are the asd gender.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                What is ASD, autism spectrum disorder? That's basically the only thing you're putting into this thread is autism. Not everyone is living their life in this super rigid don't touch my stapler OCD manner you describe.

              • 2 days ago
                Anonymous

                >Not everyone is living their life in this super rigid don't touch my stapler OCD manner you describe.
                no one said anything like this.

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        >what did you get upto on the weekend
        That's a painfully generic question that won't help one bit.

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      So what do you want a pat on the ass or did you just need to drop "christian" and "white" into a LULZ post? Your genes aren't looking too good rn.

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        Before shitskin homosexual

  8. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    >I am in love
    >She's perfect.

    >I've barely been able to speak to her outside of work related stuff

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah, I acknowledge its a problem. I still really like her.

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      >Relatively attractive but classically autistic bio female.
      >Mute throughout my teens and early 20s.
      >Had no less than four (4) adult men claim that they had found their one true love in me despite never having held a single conversation.
      >Every single one got upset or angry when they actually learned some basics of my personality (through online communication, mostly.)
      OP is in for a rough time. Certain types of 'tism just aren't compatible.

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        We're all just guessing based on our personal experience what anons ought to do and how situations will play out.

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        I really like her but I was being hyperbolic to increase engagement with the post you fucking retard.

        • 2 days ago
          Anonymous

          This type of insecure venom is of the most benign variety, like a house spider, but you should probably work on it because it's pussy repellant.

          • 2 days ago
            Anonymous

            Blah blah blah I literally dgaf. I've gotten in with enough women to know that's total bullshit. Woman want attention and beg for more of it when they get negative attention.

            • 2 days ago
              Anonymous

              I assumed you were OP but it seems you're some random, noxious, attention seeking douchebag here to spew his narcissistic trash. Do everyone a favor and go to some other site, maybe one with upvotes.

        • 2 days ago
          Anonymous

          And I'm telling you that your quite, submissive Aryan Christian waifu probably doesn't really exist, and you ought to be prepared for that possibility. Just ask the bitch what she did on the weekend.

  9. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    >I've barely been able to speak to her outside of work related stuff
    >Love of my life
    Anon, for your own sake, you need to take a deep step back and look at your situation objectively.

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah I didn't pick up on that part. Without knowing OP personally it's hard to give objective advice. When it comes to being "in love" with someone who doesn't think about you I guess all I can say is there are plenty of fish in the sea.

  10. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    cute friend of mine just "dated" a a teammate at work for a couple months. it was a new team so they had some team building events when everyone from the spread out team got together. it was probably the first time they met in person.

    if he didn't close during the off-site there's no chance it would have happened. don't sperg out for months and expect anything to happen

    >I just don't know how to go to the next level or how to spark a personal conversation with her

    eat lunch with her retard

    • 2 days ago
      Anonymous

      I've thought about this but how do I ask her out for lunch? We both like Chick fil a and will occasionally drive over on our lunch break. Is there a way to integrate that without coming off as creepy?

      • 2 days ago
        Anonymous

        >Is there a way to integrate that without coming off as creepy
        if you have to ask then maybe not lol. a normal person would just say "hey im grabbing chick fil a if u wanna carpool" every job ive had it has been normal to occasionally carpool to lunch with ppl.

        cfa is also my goto work lunch spot. gonna fuck one of the cashiers eventually

  11. 2 days ago
    Anonymous

    Tell her that she means everything to you, and you'll prove it to her by giving up your job for her. Which you will, after she gets you fired for sexual harassment

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