How do you tell the difference between romantic and platonic love?

How do you tell the difference between romantic and platonic love?

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    romantic
    >i want to frick them
    platonic
    >i don’t want to frick them

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This is right, only thing to add to this there are different social games played for bonding and for romance. You don't take your friends out for dates for example. You generally court your romantic interest while friends bond more symmetrically

      need more context OP but sometimes it's easy to confuse the two.

      Platonic
      >you think about them from time to time
      >you enjoy time with them but never want to take it further
      >you are there for one another but you have your own lives too
      >you don't think of them romantically or sexually ever and you think of others
      >you talk together about dating others and how exciting it is

      romantic
      >you talk together endlessly
      >they are all you think about
      >you think about others sexually/romantically much much less and this person is the the centerpoint of those thoughts
      >you do much more for them as they you
      >your heart goes out to them when they are sad or down and you want to hug them and make them feel better
      >you get excited (butterflies) when you hang out or they talk to you
      >everything they do makes you excited
      >everything else in the room seems to disappear when they are around
      >the thought of ever losing them makes you feel awful. Losing a fren is no fun but this is more visceral

      This is cringe, you're confusing romantic love with obsession/ infatuation. You can have a stronger platonic love than a romantic one

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >This is cringe, you're confusing romantic love with obsession/ infatuation. You can have a stronger platonic love than a romantic one
        Can you expand on this?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          There's not much more to expand upon.

          Romantic loves are typically stronger than platonic as due to the libidos of people giving them a lot of energy to pursue romantic relationships, and sex tends to be one of the most intimate and strong bonding activities you can do with someone. Also this is where infatuations/obsessions (otherwise known as crushes) come in as well. These tend to happen only within a romantic context and lead to the behaviour that was listed as the differences. There's nothing inherent in romantic love however that means it's necessarily stronger than platonic, it's just the states of minds and the things you do within context of romantic love tend to make it a lot stronger

          It's also worth noting here that what people would consider the healthiest forms of love are the ones without a lot of features of crushes. That the two people are happy independent of eachother and that while a breakup might be hard it'd ultimately be amiable if it came to it

          However for two really good friends they may still like eachother more than their romantic partners, due to history, chemistry or other activities that they find better than sex.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            That makes sense to me. You undersell yourself. I learned something.
            Do you think it's possible to be obsessed with someone platonically?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I think it's possible and I think you see it happening with children, where some children really want to be friends with other children.

            I think it's very rare in adults though, but it does seem to be the case you'll see some people meet and one just really really wants to hang out with the other will spend all their time planning around this and doing stuff for that person.

            Its kinda common with people with BPD as well, they tend to end up completely obsessing about someone where they become their "favourite person" and while sometimes that's romantic a lot of the time it's a purely platonic obsession and they'll display all the marks of an obsession. Thinking non stop about them, wanting to be with them all the time and all that other stuff, being very sad if they can't get them and all that stuff.

            So platonic obsessions are certainly possible but just rarer and I'd hesitate to say you cannot be platonically obsessed with someone you are somewhat sexually attracted to without it becoming just a romantic obsession as I think the feelings of wanting to be sexual with them are almost inevitable if you like them just as a friend that much

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            That would go some way toward explaining the rarity of such feelings. They're very prone to turning romantic. It might also be why people with BPD are far more likely to not be heterosexual. Pretty logical. Lesson appreciated, Anon.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          This is right, only thing to add to this there are different social games played for bonding and for romance. You don't take your friends out for dates for example. You generally court your romantic interest while friends bond more symmetrically

          [...]
          This is cringe, you're confusing romantic love with obsession/ infatuation. You can have a stronger platonic love than a romantic one

          nah it's just their moronic take. I've been in multiple relationships and sexual partners for last 15 yrs. People in my life often come to me for dating and relationship advice. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean your values and ideals are garbage.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >This is cringe, you're confusing romantic love with obsession/ infatuation. You can have a stronger platonic love than a romantic one

        You really can't. There is no deeper love than romantic. If you had a life partner and soulmate you'd understand that. Sex involved in relationships induces even closer bonding and chemical release. It's built into long-term mating to encourage us to stay together.

        Lastly OP was asking about how to tell the difference. Obviously they are not engaged with this person long enough to build lasting love and bonding outside of what they are feeling in friendship and slightly beyond if it got to that point.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I'm sorry but this is just silly, a friend can be a life partner and a soul mate, you don't need to have sex with them to establish some kind of life long bond. And this is where I say "if you had a real friend you'd understand that"

          Sex does induce bonding and is very intimate and it's why romantic relationships on the whole are stronger than platonic relationships, although they do not have to be. And your appeal to evo psych only further prooves this, if the strength of a relationship is due to the chemicals released then it would seem that doing heroin or mdma together would actually induce the strongest bonds.

          And for OP the simple distinction of if they want to frick the person is the simplest and best way to differentiate between platonic and romantic

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >a friend can be a partner and a soulmate
            they literally cannot

            You would learn a lot more by opening up your opinions instead of injecting your own dismissing someone else and then talking past them. I think with age you'll come to grow a lot more.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Also I'm not trying to assume, but you are starting to sound like one of those asexual advocates that tries to pass off non-sexual relationships as being the same as sexual.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Also I'm not trying to assume, but you are starting to sound like one of those asexual advocates that tries to pass off non-sexual relationships as being the same as sexual.

            Sexual and romantic relations are different and deserve their own category of love as they are generally far more intense and while having sex with someone is a strong bonding activity, raising children with them is also a very important bonding activity and people will very rarely do shit like have ceremonies of how great friends they are and how they'll be friends forever afterwards.

            None of this however is necessitates that romantic relations are *always* stronger than platonic. There is nothing inherent in either of these relationships that gives limits to the strengths or bounds of the relationships, you can have very casual romantic relationships and you very intense and searing hot platonic relationships.

            You should open your mind to that possibility that a friend may be a life partner and a soulmate, at the very least that will make your definitions of what a romantic relationship is even stronger if you think a romantic relationship must be stronger than that.

            I just don't know how else you explain why sometimes people side with their friends over spouses in disputes or just that sometimes when you ask people who do you care more for they'll say their friend over their spouse.

            Sure it's rare, but it happens

            You are sounding like someone who either just does not have friends or who's ideas of relationship always revolve around sex and that somehow your sex partner is just always more important than your friends

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    need more context OP but sometimes it's easy to confuse the two.

    Platonic
    >you think about them from time to time
    >you enjoy time with them but never want to take it further
    >you are there for one another but you have your own lives too
    >you don't think of them romantically or sexually ever and you think of others
    >you talk together about dating others and how exciting it is

    romantic
    >you talk together endlessly
    >they are all you think about
    >you think about others sexually/romantically much much less and this person is the the centerpoint of those thoughts
    >you do much more for them as they you
    >your heart goes out to them when they are sad or down and you want to hug them and make them feel better
    >you get excited (butterflies) when you hang out or they talk to you
    >everything they do makes you excited
    >everything else in the room seems to disappear when they are around
    >the thought of ever losing them makes you feel awful. Losing a fren is no fun but this is more visceral

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >you talk together endlessly
      >they are all you think about
      >your heart goes out to them when they are sad or down and you want to hug them and make them feel better
      >everything they do makes you excited
      >the thought of ever losing them makes you feel awful.
      Not OP but frick. Is there any chance that I feel like this about a friend? Asking for a friend. I also go insane whenever they're away from me for more than a day or two.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Yes a chance this is the case. I never go insane when away from a friend, but when it's someone I love it gets hard to be away from them.

        Here's another sign. When I'm crazy about them, I'm happy when we're apart (for a short time). I'm out doing my thing and think about our convos and about little things of them I love. They help carry me through a day. When I return to them it's like the best thing. Being away for too long makes me miserable.

        It's ok to fall for a friend, it happens and is the basis for a lot of romance.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Ugh. It can't possibly work out in this case either way, unfortunately. I don't look right. They'd never be interested. I guess I'll just ride this out because I really treasure our friendship.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            do you hang out in person? Are they always talking about other people to you? Sometimes you just gotta try. You can hint around too if it helps.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It's not like that. I just look like a man. It can't happen.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            no this is your own self loathing stopping you. You are not the authority on what they find attractive, especially if they flirt with you or spend more attention or time with you than others. If you don't go through with it fine, but do not make your decision based on insecurities, you may be surprised at how they feel.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Thank you for trying to be supportive but I know how I look and I know they don't like men. We've never expressed actual interest in one another either. It's just one of those things that can't happen. I'm just happy to be their friend.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      what do if all of the romantic things apply to me except the
      >you think about others sexually/romantically much much less and this person is the centerpoint of those thoughts

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    If you want affection, sex and intimacy, it's romantic. If you just want a close friendship, it's platonic.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    > t. average transbian

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >when the qt bottom twink tells you he loves you in a "lights on" kind of way
    >mfw "You're a great guy anon, but..."

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Don't give up hope anon! You'll find your cute twink bf someday!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Lights on
      ?

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Romantic love varies depending on culture. In general, unless you are asexual, romantic love is just love + sexual attraction/desire.

    If you ARE asexual then you need to define what romantic love means to you

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It's whether you release oxytocin and want to frick them.

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