How do you have this conversation? Especially beginning it.

How do you have this conversation? Especially beginning it.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    deny, deny, deny

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Mom, how do you feel about trans people?

  3. 2 years ago
    future wife

    do you know what your mother thinks of trans people?
    >positive come out to her
    >negative at your own disgression, have a backup plan in case she tries seizing hrt and/or kicking you out.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >do you know what your mother thinks of trans people?
      No idea. She loves Harry Potter and at one point (not deliberately) Rowling came up and I said "it's kind of pathetic how, given her wealth, she's punching down on minorities and literally only talks about them when she opens her mouth, completely unprompted," and my mom asked who, and I said "transgender individuals." That was that.

      Just don't. You never have to come out. You can just move and change your number and there's not even a pop-up that's like "Are you sure you want to burn away contact with your family forever?"

      I don't live with my mother, or anywhere close to her. I want to come out because I've let everyone else in my personal life know, and I also do care because like we have a very good relationship.

      >Mom i want to cut my genitals off and do prostitutemones
      >Oh sweetie, im so proud of you!

      don’t. just take your pills and gaslight anyone who comments on your changes.

      She already knows I'm on HRT and disapproves.
      I don't want my pp cut off. I just don't use it.

      NEVER talk as if it's your own choice. Always refer to your doctors, your psychs etc recommending what you do. It's what THEY think, not what YOU think. I struggled with my parents for 7 years and nothing worked until I started doing this.

      Thanks.

      i sent my parents an e-mail while i was away from home for 2 weeks, so they had some time to think about it before they punched me or kicked me out. they're not accepting, but they pretend it never happened, so i still have a roof over my head and all my teeth still in their place, so i'd say that's a win

      I came out as "gay" this way. It went rather well. However, I'm not even sure how to begin writing this letter, which is why I haven't.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Mom i want to cut my genitals off and do prostitutemones
    >Oh sweetie, im so proud of you!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'm a cissoid and if my daughter (son) told me this it would be super based. Better that than ending up as John 50 lmao

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    don’t. just take your pills and gaslight anyone who comments on your changes.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    NEVER talk as if it's your own choice. Always refer to your doctors, your psychs etc recommending what you do. It's what THEY think, not what YOU think. I struggled with my parents for 7 years and nothing worked until I started doing this.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Become independent then transition then tell them it is happening. They will accept or not, but they cannot stop you. This is important and is the only thing that really let me transition. I told them while living at home, realized it was impossible, and moved out next week. If you're living at home, be prepared to do that.

      works on midwit parents but mine just attack the doctor's credibility. fancy degrees don't impress them. they have fancy degrees themselves.

      >do you know what your mother thinks of trans people?
      No idea. She loves Harry Potter and at one point (not deliberately) Rowling came up and I said "it's kind of pathetic how, given her wealth, she's punching down on minorities and literally only talks about them when she opens her mouth, completely unprompted," and my mom asked who, and I said "transgender individuals." That was that.

      [...]
      I don't live with my mother, or anywhere close to her. I want to come out because I've let everyone else in my personal life know, and I also do care because like we have a very good relationship.

      [...]
      [...]
      She already knows I'm on HRT and disapproves.
      I don't want my pp cut off. I just don't use it.

      [...]
      Thanks.

      [...]
      I came out as "gay" this way. It went rather well. However, I'm not even sure how to begin writing this letter, which is why I haven't.

      my mom once defended transgender people when other family members were making fun of some they knew. but she denies my own transgender status (and I'm fricking post op). they think they know you better than you know yourself. mine say that literally.

      Just deny everything and act like you don't know anything.
      >You look like a girl
      >*Shrugs*
      >You look more girl than last time
      >"Maybe it's a hormonal issue? No idea"
      >Even more
      >"You're right, I'll get an appointment with a doctor"
      >Did you go to the doctor's?
      >"It was cancelled due to covid, I'll get a new appointment soon"
      >What about now?
      >"The doctor wants to run some blood tests later"
      Deny everything ...

      denying might be good if you still need something from them, but I didn't find it useful. for the brief period we were pretending I didn't announce I was transitioning just before moving out they expected me to visit as a man even though I no longer had men's clothes. they'd come visit me and I'd have to make certain there was no evidence anywhere in my house that I live as a woman. it is super stressful and it just delays the inevitable. also if you've already let the cat out of the bag they'll take it as evidence that pausing transition for the rest of your life is a reasonable thing to do.

      >driving with my mom
      >"I want to be a woman"
      *pause*
      >"whatever you do, don't chop your balls off"

      I'm sure they wanted grandchildren but girls don't have balls and they produce a dangerous hormone. I came to peace with having to adopt or going childless, and they'll have to come to peace with my reproductive decisions.

      avg parent might not know what troony hrt does, you know

      my mom learned I was on hormones at like three years apparently not noticing a single physical change (and there's a brainworm isn't it) then later was shocked to learn I grew boobs.

      they did, we had this whole talk about it where they basically told me that i'm just confused, that if i transition medically i'm dead to them, and then they started pretending it never happened. i talk about myself using he/him pronouns (my native language is very gendered), and they just ignore it and use she/her and my deadname. still, them not being accepting won't stop me from transitioning. if it means cutting ties with them, so be it. i'd rather live a miserable, lonely life as a man than die a woman.

      I'm now post op and they know it but we haven't talked about it. it is very at arms length with them now. but they've had to accept they have no control over me.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    i sent my parents an e-mail while i was away from home for 2 weeks, so they had some time to think about it before they punched me or kicked me out. they're not accepting, but they pretend it never happened, so i still have a roof over my head and all my teeth still in their place, so i'd say that's a win

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      > they pretend it never happened
      They didn't get the e-mail.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        they did, we had this whole talk about it where they basically told me that i'm just confused, that if i transition medically i'm dead to them, and then they started pretending it never happened. i talk about myself using he/him pronouns (my native language is very gendered), and they just ignore it and use she/her and my deadname. still, them not being accepting won't stop me from transitioning. if it means cutting ties with them, so be it. i'd rather live a miserable, lonely life as a man than die a woman.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          based. you live your life proudly and be successful despite them. either they’ll come around and you can let them back in your life or they were never meant to be with you anyways

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    i dont live with my parents anymore so i think ill just take my transition really far before telling them. maybe they'll ask. my mom already comments on how i look like her when she was young due to growing out my hair... and stepdad cracked a few jokes about my cosmetics use and painted nails

    they almost certainly think im gay though since i never had a gf but spend suspiciously long periods of time with a male "friend" staying at my apartment or me at his

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Just don't. You never have to come out. You can just move and change your number and there's not even a pop-up that's like "Are you sure you want to burn away contact with your family forever?"

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Just deny everything and act like you don't know anything.
    >You look like a girl
    >*Shrugs*
    >You look more girl than last time
    >"Maybe it's a hormonal issue? No idea"
    >Even more
    >"You're right, I'll get an appointment with a doctor"
    >Did you go to the doctor's?
    >"It was cancelled due to covid, I'll get a new appointment soon"
    >What about now?
    >"The doctor wants to run some blood tests later"
    Deny everything ...

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >driving with my mom
    >"I want to be a woman"
    *pause*
    >"whatever you do, don't chop your balls off"

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >>"whatever you do, don't chop your balls off"
      Why do they go to this? My mom didn't say it and I don't intend on doing it, but like.
      Why would they care? One's gonna be sterile regardless.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        avg parent might not know what troony hrt does, you know

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Good advice. Doing it yourself will result in blood loss and death, or infection and death, or gangrene and death.

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Don't. Just be yourself.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I just sat there expectantly until I could form the words. The longer you sit the easier it gets because if you make the silence last any longer it'll be reeeaaallly awkward

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    mom, dad. i really want to be an xxxxx [fill as approp for ftm, mtf, enby]

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Mine found my needles and EEN. It kinda just flowed naturally from there.

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