How do you get past the shame and self hatred?

How do you get past the shame and self hatred?

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    hey that skeleton cool af

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Care about yourself more than you care about what others think of you.

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I legitimately don't know how people learn to not give a frick. I feel like my entire existence is shameful

    Good luck finding an answer op

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah, it makes me wanna an hero

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      shame is for the foolish, abandon inhibitions, abandon shame

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    remember that it's a process that takes a long time
    one thing that helped for me was analyzing how much of my thoughts were rational versus biased

  5. 2 years ago
    15chan

    idk at some point pride mode activated as a self-defense mechanism

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don't care what normals think of me.
    Do some introspection, OP. Doesn't matter how; keep a journal, do drugs, get a therapist, or whatever.
    The goal is to work on your sense of self. You need a strong understanding of who *you* are, beyond what letter you are and other societal labels put on you.

    First step to being your authentic self is knowing what your authentic self is. But, when you know who you are and are living accordingly, your concern with how other people are perceiving you will melt away.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I did this and found out that my authentic self is something to be ashamed of. Once people grow up and stop shaming others, I'll start living authentically. Until then I'll keep being ashamed and hiding myself away in order to protect myself from harm.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Who's people? I go outside and nobody cares dude. If someone gets riled up that's a badge of honor if anything. I intimidate small minds, there's nothing to be ashamed of there.

        Also, get a bf/gf or some kind of frickbuddy. As cliché as my advice to be yourself but external validation is important.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          You dont intimidate. Theyre all looking noses down at us calling us homosexuals. I wish i was normal

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >Who's people
          The ones who talk to each other, the ones who stare, the ones who laugh, the ones who gossip, the ones who shout slurs etc.
          Are you trying to get me to name names? I don't know them, I've never met them.
          >I go outside and nobody cares dude.
          Some do. You either don't see it or choose to ignore it.
          >If someone gets riled up that's a badge of honor if anything.
          I'm talking about shaming here, not confrontation.
          >Also, get a bf/gf or some kind of frickbuddy.
          I will never. Having sex with a male body is disgusting and baring oneself to another person, psychologically speaking, is the most dangerous thing one can do. I will not put myself in harm's way. That, and I know myself to be unlovable. I would only harm anyone foolish enough to show interest to me, if anyone could even be interested in morbidly obese, severely depressed and suicidal, cynical, fatalistic, critical piece of shit like me. Not to mention a fricking ugly troony who's not even transitioning further than having bought some women's shirts and having changed her name socially.
          No, sex and love are off the table completely for me, so is every other aspect of living life. I'm committed to monkhood, I'm dead already. This world is transitional and I'm bound elsewhere. I'm going to serve my time on this prison planet quietly and away from other inmates.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >I don't know them, I've never met them.
            Then who cares? You're spot on, I choose to ignore them.
            And you don't have a male body. It's just your body, and you're not happy with it. Which is an okay way to feel, we've all felt it.
            Some more insanely cliché advice: Take care of yourself. Sleep, diet, exercise, and skincare go a long way and it's probably the main thing separating you from the normies you feel so alienated from.

            It's all easier said than done, I'm only really 3/4 of the way there also. But put the work in on yourself and you will see results in time.
            And I don't mean to imply you should rush into a sexual or romantic encounter, but you **can** get to a point where you're feeling more confident. Believe me nothing annihilates my dysphoria like letting an actual man have his way with my body, haha.

            Depression and anxiety will make things feel impossible for you until you actually do them. That's the battle.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >And you don't have a male body.
            My dick, balls and this testosterone-poisoned meatsack beg to differ.
            >It's just your body
            You are playing around with language in order to hide the bitter truth. My body is of certain type and will never conform to the one I wish it would.
            >Take care of yourself
            No. I will not help maintain a flesh prison constructed to keep me in pain. I drown myself in sense pleasure through food, weed and booze, I wash this biological cell once it starts to stink so bad even I'm uncomfortable and I numb my cognition and kill time by consuming media. This is the extent of things I'm willing to do while I'm waiting for death to release me.
            >and it's probably the main thing separating you from the normies you feel so alienated from.
            The knowledge that nothing has meaning and everything people believe in and take part in is futile is what's alienated me from the masses. They still believe in success and Santa Claus.
            >Believe me nothing annihilates my dysphoria like letting an actual man have his way with my body, haha.
            Disgusting.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >who gender you properly
            You mean lie to my face? No thank you.

            You're just making excuses for why you can't because that's easier than actually trying. And the more time goes by without any effort to improve, the easier it will be for you to justify not improving.
            I get it, I've been in your spot. So I also get it's basically hopeless trying to convince you otherwise right now.

            So, I'll leave you with this parting statement:
            You are valid, deserving of happiness, and worth saving. You will one day agree with that.
            In the mean time do some LSD or shrooms.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >easier than actually trying.
            Ok, lemme just try and be born a woman. Hnnnnnnnnnngggggghhhh.
            Nope. Didn't happen. Still a man.
            Ok, let me try and take hrt.
            >FF 10 years
            Wow, I'm still a man, but now I have breasts. Gee, I wonder what I can do to get the things I want. Oh wait, the things I want are literally impossible within the parameters of this universe so my choices are to either settle for less and suffer, or seethe and suffer. Wow, what a choice and not at all the same fricking thing just packaged slightly differently.
            >In the mean time do some LSD or shrooms.
            I took acid and realized it's all bullshit, we're all being lied to on a daily basis on a metaphysical level and we're stuck in an endless loop.
            How people fail to see how this mode of existence is a genuine hell is beyond me. Maybe they're all still too busy dreaming of unicorns and butterflies to witness the unrelenting desert of meaning were all stranded in.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Do more. You've realized it's all bullshit but still haven't realized that means there's no reason to care about other people's opinions.

            We're both going to be dead in 40-60 years no matter how good things go, and then we'll be dead for LITERALLY the rest of time.
            So why the frick would to prescribe any kind of meaning to our short time as sentient matter? Might as well be who you want and do who you want, none of it will matter soon enough.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >Might as well be who you want and do who you want
            MOTHERFRICKER IT IS PHYSICALLY AND LOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE WHO I WANT TO BE! I AM A MAN! MEN AREN'T WOMEN! I CANNOT BE A WOMAN BECAUSE I AM NOT A WOMAN! AND NO ONE HAS A SINGLE FRICKING CLUE HOW TO CHANGE A MAN INTO A WOMAN! I ALSO CANNOT FRICK WHO I WANT TO FRICK BECAUSE THEY DO NOT WANT TO FRICK ME, AND I'M NOT A FRICKIN RAPIST! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK FRICKING SKULL THAT SOME PEOPLE JUST AREN'T MEANT TO BE ALIVE BUT ARE FORCED TO ANYWAY BY OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR PIECE OF SHIT SURVIVAL INSTINCT!!!

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous
          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Tell me how a man can become a woman then. Make sure to explain how the steps I would have to take make me into a woman.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            You're already a woman. You're just a woman who's not taking care of yourself.
            Man and woman aren't real things, just words that conjure up different things to everyone who hears them.

            [...]
            Also tell me how I can manipulate the person I want to have sex with into wanting to have sex with me.

            Start by abandoning your rapey mentality of manipulating people into sex.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >You're already a woman
            What are you basing this on?
            >Start by abandoning your rapey mentality of manipulating people into sex.
            Dressing nice, flirting, telling people what they want to hear, presenting yourself as something worth fricking is all manipulation people regularly engage in in order to get another person to take interest in them and allowing them to have them have their way with them. If manipulating people into sex is rapey, everything people do to get laid is rapey. That's why I don't engage in dating, because it's all based on manipulation from both sides.
            Or do you suppose I should just meet people as I am and making it clear I'm looking for someone to allow me to stick my dick in them? Do you think there are people who want to frick someone like me? Because what you have witnessed is my authentic self. The human suit I put on for other people is an act, and any sex I would have as a stable human being would be rape, since I would be manipulating people into liking me in the hopes that they'll let me enter them. I am not a human being. I am a narcissistic sociopath who pretends to be a human being in order to get my basic psychosocial needs met just enough that I don't kill myself, because I have a biological survival instinct and I don't want a reputation or to end up in prison.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >psychosocial
            Psychological, fricking autocorrect.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            post face i wanna see how manly you really are
            >inb4 im ugly
            b***h i'm ugly too just post a fricking unsee or something i'm deadly fricking curious here

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            There you go, a man's face.
            >inb4 lose weight
            No, that would lengthen my lifespan and I'll be fricked before I allow this world to keep me it's prisoner for any longer than I have to let it.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >OP posts face
            >thread goes quiet
            god damn son

            I'm not op. Just a narcissist hijacker.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            wait a second, at what point did it stop being OP and start being you? i'm confused

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            yeah I half figured it was without an unsee link

            funny you say that, there was another thread where an anon was saying that "real" therapy was a total scam and that thoughtful discussion on the board here was worth more than anything any therapist could possibly provide
            personally i don't know what to believe but i do hate therapists.

            a lot of therapists don't know how to treat much other than mild depression and a few personality disorders but there are some good therapists out there that can make a difference. there's little in the way of a substitute for that either. this board however is crabs in a bucket of people trolling and dragging eachother down, literally a few responses ago in this thread even. it is still NSFFW.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Tell me how a man can become a woman then. Make sure to explain how the steps I would have to take make me into a woman.

            Also tell me how I can manipulate the person I want to have sex with into wanting to have sex with me.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >external validation is important
          not op but i have a really difficult time seeing myself as anything other than a man and i'm pretty sure external validation is the only thing that could ever hope to help me. but even then it would have to come from an important place/person and not just some ally type trying to be nice

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >i have a really difficult time seeing myself as anything other than a man and i'm pretty sure external validation is the only thing that could ever hope to help me
            it really REALLY helps. more than anything.
            but yeah, it has to be authentic.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Everytime i cum to trans or gay porn im disgusted with myself.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    You don’t
    Eventually you just find other shit to do

  9. 2 years ago
    botE

    my trick is that I dont and im entirely miserable

  10. 2 years ago
    Itokin

    acceptance and willingness to improve myself

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like being gay isnt happy

  12. 2 years ago
    Itokin

    seriously, for OP and anons who read this
    there's no point wallowing on something you can't change
    accept yourself, accept it as part of you that you can change and improve part that you can
    self pity will only get you some internet points which ultimately doesn't improve anything for you aside from euphoria thinking that "people care for you if you just bdd posting"
    it's self harm

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Why cant you change it?

      • 2 years ago
        Itokin

        your shoulder and ribs are very hard to change, but you can thin out your waist and make your hip bigger by working out to compensate

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >improve
      Even if you polish a turd it's still a piece of shit. Even if I become more feminine I'm still a man.

      • 2 years ago
        Itokin

        honestly you just want the attention to get (you)-ed, i don't blame you, it's addictive
        but if you are not willing to improve then i guess there's nothing i can do

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >improve
          How can I improve when my absolute best falls well below the accepted standards of success? I am not female. Because I am not female, I am not considered a woman. There is nothing I can do that will change the standards which keep me from achieving improvement. Even if I were to look cis, my womanhood is null and void the moment I'm revealed to be trans. Males do not get to be women, only women(male)

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Surround yourself with people who gender you properly and have no issues doing so.
            You're in your own head and spiraling.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >who gender you properly
            You mean lie to my face? No thank you.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    why would you feel shame and self-hatred for being ugly. sure it's not great but it's not like it implies anything about you as a person

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Being heterosexual

  15. 2 years ago
    Furioso

    Work in retail where you help a lot of women in fitting rooms. Always thought I was built like an ogre but after seeing hundreds of cis women my age looking way worse with i kinda got over self-hatred quite quickly.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Stop being a gay how about that?

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Not ashamed
    >No self-hatred
    >Just don't pass and feel ugly as shit
    The real trick is that you have to wait a long ass time for HRT to kick in, and get cosmetic procedures done and also probably some surgeries too
    Until then the best way to develop your sense of self and self-worth is to dive into your mind-world and get to know your "self"

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    i abandoned shame in my tastes around middle school to early high school (wasn't sure if i was bi or what i just wasn't opposed to cute guys), after coming out as trans though it only stood to eventually reason the same should apply to my identity.

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >OP posts face
    >thread goes quiet
    god damn son

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the thread got real quiet after OP followed through lol.

    anyways im not even trans but all the shit advice people are giving OP in this thread just reminds me of the gaslighting i've gotten out of years of seeing CBT therapists for my trauma that they didnt know how to approach as anything other than depression.

    OP needs to see an actual therapist that specializes in talking to trans people and not a bunch of cheap armchair NSFFW psychologists

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      funny you say that, there was another thread where an anon was saying that "real" therapy was a total scam and that thoughtful discussion on the board here was worth more than anything any therapist could possibly provide
      personally i don't know what to believe but i do hate therapists.

  21. 2 years ago
    BPDemon

    [...]

    Frick it, I might as well become a tripgay so this kind of confusion won't happen again. I'll make it my mission to become the most obnoxious bpdemon this board has seen.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      only if you actually look like that lol

      There you go, a man's face.
      >inb4 lose weight
      No, that would lengthen my lifespan and I'll be fricked before I allow this world to keep me it's prisoner for any longer than I have to let it.

      • 2 years ago
        BPDemon

        I can assure you that's how I look. That's actually a somewhat flattering picture of me, since it doesn't show my enormous body in full.

        • 2 years ago
          beaanie

          based

          you can join me in my quest to angrily rant at bdd girls on /tttt/ during dysphoric episodes

          • 2 years ago
            BPDemon

            Hell yes!

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Personally, I lash out at others for no reason and make people mad for the sake of making people mad by any means necessary.

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    If this is about being trans, I will say that after doing it for years and years, you mostly get to being what you are. My experience is that that shame is more or less constant from at least the time you get an inkling that you're trans, and then when you socially transition it becomes much more intense, but after five, ten years, when at the very least nothing you're doing feels artificial or learned, it eases.

    I'm an old-ass trans person and I still have moments of deep shame and a vague feeling of not being real, but compared to the ugly duckling stage, or trying to be my assigned gender and feeling awful whether I did it well or did it terribly, I am extremely at ease with what I do and my body. Every step I took to be in alignment eventually took a big bite out. Sorry if that's a trite or obvious response to what is probably a suicide-inducing situation for you, but it's the truth. Everything I did to transition helped. At least now, if I ever feel like a failure at some personal goal or I dislike some part of my appearance, my shame is localized to that and doesn't also induce dysphoria.

    You were put in a bad position purely by chance, you're simply the gender you are but with some physical issues and a bunch of pointless stigma. You're not disgusting or pathetic or unlovable or unfrickable or delusional--at least, not because you're trans. Trans people can be disgusting for all kinds of other reasons, of course, lol

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    be hot

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Something something internalized something, which means absolutely nothing. If you're ashamed of who you are and hate yourself, change who you are.

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