How do you cope with the fact that your existence is more or less a gigantic joke of which youre the butt of ?

How do you cope with the fact that your existence is more or less a gigantic joke of which youre the butt of ?

I honestly have been struggling with this idea and been sinking in suicide ideations, my owner forbids me to kill myself but offered to kill me in some pagant ritualistic way, should i take the offer ?

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    No. Keep trying.
    Your owner is bad for suggesting that. There's a reason we don't let depressed people kill themselves. Only terminally ill cancer patients and really old people get to off themselves.
    let someone love you back to life

    • 1 year ago
      Freia

      keep trying what
      he just said that cuz killing myself would be a waste of an oportunity i dont think he is bad for that

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Okay so what I am reading from these posts is that you're extremely depressed and talking with a person who views you as a "waste of an opportunity". As in, a psychopath?
        Why are you doing this to yourself Anon?
        Surely you have friends, even online, who love and care for you?
        I'm not trans myself and I cannot relate to your struggles but if you need someone to talk to I open if you need.

        • 1 year ago
          Freia

          no my owner really loves me and we have a very very good relationship, he wants to do so much stuff but forbid me from killing myself so i would stop trying.
          I'm doing this to myself because it feels like the best way to go about it
          I have friends but i think most will forget about me in a week tops

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I would tell you to step away from this man, as he clearly is not very good to you, but if he keeps you from offing I suppose that's the best we can hope for right now.
            How far along in your transition are you?

          • 1 year ago
            Freia

            nonononono he is very good stop you dont know he helped me a lot with myself
            I'm post SRS, FFS this summer 1.8 years on HRT

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            But don't you look forward to FFS? Don't you at least wanna go through it, and see how beautiful you will become?
            Of course you do!
            And trans rights and trans -normality- is spreading incredibly fast. Passing trans people are stealth, and are no longer the drag-stereotype of yesteryear.
            Every year it gets better. For all of us.
            For you as well. Please keep pushing.

          • 1 year ago
            Freia

            Idk cuz FFS coincides with the end of the school year and probably knowing i fricked up
            Its like, every good news will have a bad news

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Are you bullied in school? Do you think people won't accept you, or is it just your insecurity talking?

            Sure FFS is a major surgery, but try to look forward a few years (especially if you're in school because kids are dicks).
            YGMI

          • 1 year ago
            Freia

            No I'm in medschool lmfao

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            So where is all this suicidal idealization coming from?
            you got the man (.. kinda he seems weird)
            got the career
            got mostly libleft peers who support you
            and all of 4t who will call you a gigapassiod

          • 1 year ago
            Freia

            idk it just feels like thats what i want

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Idk man, maybe you wanna be married someday, have a family? Have a future, whatever that is.
            Sounds much more pleasant than whatever else you're planning.
            Literally everything is going your way, stop pushing against it you dumbass

          • 1 year ago
            Freia

            thats the issue, all those prospects dont really allure to me

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Jesus christ this has to be most boring thread ever on 4t.
    >i'm sad
    okay what's wrong
    >idk
    but everything seems fine
    >yea but idk
    literally everything in your life is good stop complaining
    >but idkkkk im sad still
    kys

    • 1 year ago
      Freia

      Never asked for help i ask for an opinion thats it :I

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Just laugh along with it. Be in on the joke, not just apart of it

    • 1 year ago
      Freia

      kinda hard when being a troony is being part of the joke

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Religion, mostly. I'm kind of a gnostic with some Buddhist/daoist approaches thrown in, and I've long ago made peace with the idea of material life being kind of inherently bad and full of suffering. I try to practice detachment and temperance, try to improve mentally and spiritually, and to live in harmony with the world. I know it's cringe and kind of a cope but it really has helped me.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    if i was you i would stop being in a relationship with someone i call 'owner' that offers to murder me. that literally is some cringy larp shit

    get real hobbies, do real things in life. don't worry about defining yourself, just DO And SEE shit, as much as you can. are you some trust fund richoid or what? idgi

    • 1 year ago
      Freia

      >that offers to murder me.
      1. He offers to do it when he grows bored of me
      2. Its better than offing myself

      >are you some trust fund richoid or what?
      lmfao i wish, kid of migrants to one of the shitholes of west eu

      I do have hobbies and shit :I

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        1.) get
        2.) help

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