how do we get men to stop listening to toxic dating advice? i am talking to a woman, and things seem to be going well, but we are both very busy people, and its difficult to get together. she says she wants to take things slow and let ot develop organically. well if you listen to the average dating coach, that means i got friend zoned because she is fucking chad/tyrone (daily?) and i am the cuck waiting in the wings like a passive bitch. lol. what retarded advice. i agree, attraction is a process, and you should only go after women who are choosing you, but it seems like this woman is choosing me, she is just legitimately busy. how do i alleviate these concerns of mine (the idea that “chad is remixing her guts nightly” - physically unsustainable at scale given how many chads/tyrones there are relative to average women - while i am left with rosy palm or hitting on another random girl for gratificaton is supposedly proof that i am a beta). any advice for me?
Idk my bf left me cause of redpill or blackpill shit and I actually loved him but he chose to listen to a bunch of incels online and ruin my life
what did you do to make him leave?
Idk he thought I didn’t respect him because he “cried in front of me once” but that’s just total bs. I 100% loved and admired him, I just grew up in a high conflict household and he didn’t understand me when I would get upset he thoguht it meant I didn’t like him
Yeah well clearly that's stupid as fuck. I have perpetuated that story for an idiot just because I think it's fucking retarded and that if you're dumb enough to fall for that shit you don't deserve her.
Some guy was talking about how he wore some sneakers he didn't like cause he was seeing his mother who bought it for him, and his gf saw him and he was worried about being perceived as weak and whether he should break up with her, so I said
>Yeah you basically got walked in on being fucked in the ass by tyrone in a French maid outfit, it's over you should leave her before she leaves you
Cause that's the dumbest fucking shit I've ever heard and if he's that weak then he's better off letting her find a real man with an actual center. And now that I think about it, I will continue to dole out shit advice to these retards because they deserve it for letting their minds get corrupted by lonely ass incels and misogynists
Idk im pretty sure my ex was better than me so ultimately I lost big time because I lost him
>Some guy was talking about how he wore some sneakers he didn't like cause he was seeing his mother who bought it for him, and his gf saw him and he was worried about being perceived as weak and whether he should break up with her, so I said
Jesus christ
Idk he told me he’s been on LULZ since he was like 11 or something ridiculous and that they convinced him he’d never find a gf or something
But ultimately he didn’t think I was attractive enough and I wasn’t younger enough for him either and he just didn’t want any responsibilities
He’ll probably find some girl who’s way prettier and smarter than me in a few years and date her and she’ll get pregnant and he’ll marry her
Well I'm sorry, that blows. But, well, everything happens for a reason. All we can do is dust ourselves off and be the best we can be.
To clarify, I do believe there is a difference between crying in self-pity, and crying for literally anything else. If you're crying because
>WAAAAAH I GOT BULLIED AT 12 AND I CAN'T GET OVER IT
Then yeah, that's weak as fuck, what the fuck is wrong with you, no wonder she's not a fucking you anymore
But
>My dad died, my dog died, this sunset is beautiful, that was a tragic movie, I'm so happy my friend is getting married, I missed my neices's birthday because I felt like I had to work, I'm so proud of my child
That means you're PASSIONATE. That is not a negative, that is a positive, a very fucking strong positive. And doing something nice for your mother, showing her that you appreciate these dumbass shoes that she bought for you, well if your woman can't appreciate that then she's a piece of shit. That should be perceived as endearing, because that's what it is. I swear, these fucking red pill black pill incels get so fucking retarded it's unreal
I deleted my response
I didn't see it
He was generally kind of a beta guy/simp but I genuinely really liked that about him because I had basically only dated jerks before that
I forgot exactly why he was crying but he got uncontrollably sad/depressed and I couldn’t snap him out of it so he legit cried for like an hr or two straight or something
I think I said something that made him feel bad for me, i think it’s because I started crying I don’t remember exactly
It was actually really sweet , yeah after a while I was kind of like trying to get him to snap out of it tho cause it wasn’t normal but he was bipolar so it made sense
Also he told me he never cries and hadnt cried in years and I believe him. It was probably the jet lag that made him cry that much. Also he probaly never talks about feelings with his guy friends so maybe he needed to let his traumas out cause one of his friends killed himself like a few yrs ago.
Idk it’s really sad what LULZ has done sometimes. Like it has a lot of pros but also makes me sad that so many people think that way.
Idk they just see stuff as the objective truth. He even convinced me I’m worthless now cause I’ve hit the wall and tbh I don’t think he’s wrong. But there are some things they are wrong about.
You're not worthless, don't let these assholes get in your head. But yeah, your sexual market value has dropped. I'm not going to beat around the bush. To be fair, so has mine, to an extent, I'm not the pretty boy I used to be. But, I can slim down, I take care of my skin, I take care of my body, and I have a pretty good career with some savings, it's tied up but it exists.
You should do the same. Those "softer" men you like, they will appreciate more independence from you, and more initiative. Of course, more masculine men, the top 10 to 20%, they're going to have different standards they seek in a partner. I'm not saying don't go for the best you can get, but be aware, the more in demand the guy is, then the less likely he is to stick around.
But yeah, exercise and skincare, and proper nutrition, and proper sleep, it does wonders. Me and my boys, we're in our 30s, and girls are shocked when they find that out. We just take care of ourselves
So you’re saying I should go for a shitty guy and hope he will stick around?
If that's what you want to do go ahead, but no I wasn't saying go for shitty men, shitty men aren't partner material. I mean, you can take for instance, I'm close to this girl who is married to a guy with a gut disease. He's a decent earner, and he's very caring, compassionate to the point where my younger self considered it unreasonable. It wasn't until I got older that I realized what an incredible man he is. It takes a lot of strength to be that vulnerable, and to be so caring, and to be so kind. He's older than her too, but he's not unattractive, he's just not traditionally masculine in aggressiveness, but he's a fully developed man.
I mean in this case, she's the earner, but she loves him, and he loves her. They compliment each other very well, and I understand why she overlooked his shortcomings.
Maybe that's a one in a million catch, I don't know. But he is certainly not a shitty man, he is one of the best men I've ever met. He just has some problems.
I would just say, look where you wouldn't expect, and you might find something amazing there.
>He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman, like you imagined when you were young
Is his only problem his gut issue and the fact he doesn’t earn a lot? Is he like a Burger King worker like how bad is it?
Also why did she settle, is it because she’s ugly?
Well, not the perfect example, he's a nurse, and she settled because she loved him. She's not ugly by any means, not a Stacy, but very smart, and she is also quite selective from what I understand.
But, she is a career woman, and she wears the pants. But that's what both of them were looking for essentially. I mean you could take it for what it is, I'm not going to guarantee you success out there, but the men you're looking at, clearly aren't for you. You need to adjust your compass.
>the female mind thinks any non-Chad=shitty guy, not recognizing average men at all
Lmao, you females deserve the abuse.
Those jerks fucked better than him, guaranteed. You can fuck someone until they love you, but you can't love someone until they fuck you. Your settle betabux by knew this, and knew it was over. Can you really blame him for leaving while he still could?
What? I don’t get what you’re saying
That is the worst of phrasing it but VERY TRUE.
Also he didn’t really care about fuckinf I don’t think he seemed pretty autistic af
>Also he didn’t really care about fuckinf I don’t think he seemed pretty autistic af
Makes sense considering your whore background and blown-out genitals. I can't imagine any sensible man fucking you now without an ulterior motive.
What? I’ve never even had sex, how am I a whore?
damn sorry to hear that
sounds like he was incredibly insecure
In a way yes but he also sometimes thought he was God and said if he was taller he would literally be unstoppable but that was probably his bipolar disorder too
Anyway he thought he was too good for me so
sounds like you dodged a bullet, but you're not too worried about it. he must have been pretty cute.
Wdym he must have been pretty cute? I didn’t think he was exactly my type at first appearance wise but I did find him very cute and he had an amazing personality and we had so much in common
i love how cute women are, they dont mind shacking up with a complete psycho as long as he's cute and he treats her well. gives me some hope.
I mean he’s not really psycho if he treats his gf well
No, you can definitely still be a psycho even if you retains partial sanity for something specific. It's not an all or nothing thing.
what i'm alluding to is that mentally unstable people often change their priorities very dramatically in no time at all. that's why they tend to call them ticking time bombs.
Okay so that might’ve been why he broke up with me but really I think he probaly wanted to the whole time and was just looking for a good moment
Also I’m not too worried about it because he treated me like a princess so none of his bipolar shit mattered to me and I always knew he’d come back and stuff
99% chance you’re full of shit and posting this stuff with a bias. There’s 3 sides to every story.
You also likely subtly& unconsciously began respecting him less and he could see it. This is usually how that goes. Just because you couldn’t see it doesn’t me he couldn’t either. If he felt you lost respect then it’s valid because he felt it. We don’t get to decide how others feel.
T. Has dated more than 20 women since I was 18. Been there, done that.
>Inb4 the virgin incels come attacking me over the truth
Don’t care, I won’t be in this thread after hitting post. Cry more. My sick is wet, my bitches needs are met. Seethe. Or open your eyes.
>T. Has dated more than 20 women since I was 18. Been there, done that.
Not a good thing, damaged goods
cease with your black and white thinking. a lot of people are in that situation. you telling them it's hopeless is not helping anyone
Sounds like someone's feathers got ruffled with me dishing out advice for men to practice self respect
i like your videos bro. (casey zander, im assuming) im not mad about you or your success. in fact, i have incorporated some of your advice, my issue is that i fall into very unhealthy thinking patterns when interacting with the "toxic" dating advice, which could be summarized as machiavellianism in dating.
specifically as i mentioned in the OP, thinking that her being busy means someone else is fucking her, thats a rampant concept within the "dark pickup community" if you will forgive the analogy
if any anons might see me, NTA, but what if I went through the same thing and my ex said he missed me years later but too anxious/ashamed to reach back out to me directly?
I also grew up in a chaotic household
dont try to be the boss and steer the direction of the relationship. you're just not built for it. maybe you disagree with me, and if so just do what you want. but in my experience as a man, if this guy just doesn't have the balls to go for you, then he just lacks a spine or he has doubts about whether he likes you and you're better off looking for a better man, sorry to be terribly honest.
can you tell me more about lacking a spine part? it's been a long time, and I feel like he's the only guy I'd be open to getting back together with. I think he needed to hear I loved him more.
see above. I feel I should of let myself be vulnerable and safer feeling with him, because my feelings are genuine too. for me at the end I was for Ed to move away from him and he wanted me to move back, and now all this time later I eventually came back to the area. I think my only bad habits was being worried he was a pedo/gonna leave me because other people we were around would always tease me and him about our height difference. I'm a petite asian dwarfy girl but normal distribution. Made me feel like I wasn't allowed to get married or have children etc. I really do miss him falling into arms after work for cuddles about his day and naps.
>me feel bad about being a tiny woman
well I got a thing for petite women, I don't know why but I love to play with them. If you didn't feel vulnerable with him then it was probably for a reason. I personally had a problem with being emotionally vulnerable for most of my life but was able to get past it due to my last break up, really worked on myself. Now that I can be like.. right there with her, I mean, there's this distance that can't be resolved without alot of sacrifice, and I'm a different person now and so is she.
But you'll be fine without him, there's lots of guys like me out there who like like girls like you, if you like a big teddy bear to carry you around. But yeah, that intimacy you build up over the years, and really knowing each other; it's hard not to miss that.
I did feel vulnerable with him but in good ways too, like opening up with stuff about my childhood etc. I'd really just like to be with him again. i'm not actively looking for anyone else and am only interested in getting back with him, I've just been hesitant in writing up my first message. it's been years.
yeah I'd love to be tenderly lovibg with him again, sleepy and get goodnight and good morning kisses and snuggle again. Be cutesy and experience that innocence again.
when he said he missed me he didn't approach but I might of missed my cue to reach out to him back then.
can any anons help me process him being afraid or feeling like he's not good enough with me? I want to meet up so bad and snuggle again.
> can any anons help me process him being afraid or feeling like he's not good enough with me? I want to meet up so bad and snuggle again.
reach out to him and let him
know if nothing else you will feel better knowing you stepped forward toward your goal.
I feel like he is leagues above me in the hierarchy of looks. I don't know how to write the message to get the ball rolling.
It sucks because I feel like he's the only guy I would choose for procreation later on in life. 🙁
>can you tell me more about lacking a spine part? it's been a long time, and I feel like he's the only guy I'd be open to getting back together with. I think he needed to hear I loved him more.
all men really crave being tenderly loved, but if we revolve our entire lives around self-pity and anxiety we just become huge pussies. we learn to put up a front not because we're afraid of being intimate or emotionally available or all of the horseshit that women like to say, but because we're aware that there will be times where we need to stay calm and collected when everyone is freaking out, it takes training to not let emotions take over. if you think that he just needs a little bit of love and support and you like him, then do what makes you happy, but im just saying that if he's refusing to make the effort to approach you first even though he knows you're open to getting back together, then he probably doesn't even know what he wants, he's afraid, or he feels like he's not good enough.
>emotionally available or all of the horseshit that women like to say
Just because you run from your emotions like a coward doesn't make you strong. There is no strength in stuffing down your emotions and pretending they don't exist.
>Just because you run from your emotions like a coward doesn't make you strong. There is no strength in stuffing down your emotions and pretending they don't exist.
There is no such thing as running away from your emotions, this is just more woman-brained horseshit that you are spouting. Human beings have two options when dealing with emotions: let them influence your actions, or learn to tame them and ignore their irrational urges. You seem like you're not even aware that it's possible for a person to control their emotions and patterns of thinking. It is from a lack of discipline that people develop problems with anxiety and PTSD from normal everyday life.
You see this?
>I remember her response to whatever I said was "well.. men don't have feelings.." I had to laugh at this because it's such a ridiculous thing to say, but the scary part is she wasn't really joking.
That's where that shit comes from. That's one thing women actually got right about "toxic masculinity." Men are told from a young age, unless their parent's aren't retarded, that emotions are weakness. You "toughen up," stuff that shit down, and ignore it. And I did that all my life. All I knew how to express was anger, frustration, and happiness. And guess what? I was close to no one. I had anxiety issues. I had PLENTY of anger issues. And I didn't even know how to express my love for a woman outside of sex or being useful. That's why she left me. And that's why I couldn't maintain any relationship prior to her.
If we teach boys that emotional repression is the answer, that doesn't mean the emotions don't exist. They build up and they manifest in negative ways. They don't feel connected to people because they don't even know how to fucking do it. And yeah, I guess I'm "triggered" or whatever, but that's because I know what the other side looks like and my life was shit before I was able to break through that bullshit indoctrination. If you have a son, don't infect them with your bullshit. Learn how to process that shit instead of stuffing it down like some neanderthal.
>Men are told from a young age, unless their parent's aren't retarded, that emotions are weakness. You "toughen up," stuff that shit down, and ignore it.
Heh, yeah I was definitely never taught that. I suppose if I was raised by just my mom that could have happened, but my dad was always there, thankfully. Anything that involved emotions I could go to him and he would give me the answers, and from there I learned to understand most of these things
>Men are told from a young age, unless their parent's aren't retarded, that emotions are weakness. You "toughen up," stuff that shit down, and ignore it.
Heh, yeah I was definitely never taught that. I suppose if I was raised by just my mom that could have happened, but my dad was always there, thankfully. Anything that involved emotions I could go to him and he would give me the answers, and from there I learned to understand most of these things
I always stop and question my emotions and whether I should feel the way I do or not. If I have every reason to be mad, then I give myself the option of being mad. If I have no good reason, no logical reason to be mad? Then I'm not mad. I just discard that shit completely, no bottling up required. I'm not going to feel a way that I know is illogical for me to feel
>If you have a son, don't infect them with your bullshit
So who infected you with this bullshit? Mom and dad both? Or..?
My dad taught me that. He was weak. Always lashing out, never reflecting or even checking himself unless it would publicly embarrass him. Good that your dad was there to communicate what appropriate emotional management is but I had to learn that on my own.
That is not woman brained horseshit. You just don't understand it because you never had to deal with it. Like I said, good you had a father that basically taught you mindfulness, but most men don't get so lucky. I had a buddy that had PTSD after a tour in Afghanistan, cured himself with a different mental model and perspective. But if he never had the sense to look for wisdom, he'd be chronically fucked like the rest of them. I disagree with your ridicule of truth.
>That is not woman brained horseshit.
yes it is. you're literally blaming your dad instead of realizing like an adult that you just got dealt a shit hand. that's what women do all the time. but you're not special. anybody can learn to deal with their emotions, but most of us just don't even try.
>good you had a father that basically taught you mindfulness, but most men don't get so lucky
i had a weak father and an abusive mother. i had no option but to adapt or die, and if you have no will to keep trying you might as well be dead.
Does it make you feel like a big man when you belittle the experience of others? I told you my truth, and that's what it is. He was weak, and he didn't have the emotional maturity it takes to lead a household or raise a child, much less two. I didn't have the benefits of a father who at least understood the basics. Everything I've earned I've done on my own.
That is not woman brained horse shit. That is what happens when nobody in your life understands emotional intelligence.
>My dad taught me that. He was weak. Always lashing out, never reflecting or even checking himself unless it would publicly embarrass him
Gay. See, if I saw a dude acting like that I would tell him he's acting like a fucking woman lol. I suppose there's prolly equal parts men and women that act that way, but I always think of that as woman behavior
>Good that your dad was there to communicate what appropriate emotional management is but I had to learn that on my own.
Yeah I dunno if he actually taught me THAT specifically, it's that he always.. cared? Always believed me, understood me, trusted me, etc.. He knew that if I was upset about something, there must be good reason. He knew that if I said someone was treating me unfairly, that I was telling the truth, and therefore he knew what to tell me. Bullies are just fucking jealous, anything they call you it's because that's what they think of themselves, not you. It would have been hard making it through life without this sort of help, I prolly woulda just been another school shooter or something lol
>Bullies are just fucking jealous, anything they call you it's because that's what they think of themselves, not you.
Yeah, well, in retrospect he was jealous that me and my sibling got more attention than he did. I made my peace with it but the truth is the truth.
The only reason I'm arguing with this
asshole is because he's wrong, and I feel very passionately about how wrong he is. Nothing worse than some self righteous tough guy spouting his bullshit. Maybe I hate it so much because I see it in myself.
you didn't even read my post. i never advocated for repression of emotions, you're just a fuck up who never considered that there might be a better option than all the typical bullshit society likes to brainwash you with. that's weakness. not crying, or feeling emotions, but allowing others to decide for you when you have a perfectly good functioning mind that can overcome.
it's not about repression vs. expression. it's about mindfulness and proper regulation of your emotions.
>you're just a fuck up
nagger I bet I make more money than you. You're weak as fuck too, look at you, puffing up your chest like some little bitch with something to prove.
>we learn to put up a front not because we're afraid of being intimate or emotionally available or all of the horseshit that women like to say, but because we're aware that there will be times where we need to stay calm and collected when everyone is freaking out, it takes training to not let emotions take over
Shiiiit, I never learned to put on a front, I didn't even really know that was an option for me lol
The reason I appear calm in those moments is.. because I am calm. I've probably been there and done that a few times before or I've heard stories, read books, watched shows, watched other people deal with it, or even just imagined something similar a million times
I've been there. For me the feeling was genuine, like I didn't deserve her time. Which, at the same time, is unattractive for the most part. My ex would take me back but I would have to be in a position to move states, which I am not. There's alot to it, generally he's going to be missing your affection, and probably you're going to be missing his affection as well. But you two separated, and if you did what you are supposed to do, you grew. And if he did what he is supposed to do, he grew. Can it work? Certainly. But one must be careful not to fall back into old habits, because they obviously didn't work. You two are different people now and should you get together, you are forming a new relationship. The last thing you want to do is regress into a bad relationship again.
>But one must be careful not to fall back into old habits, because they obviously didn't work.
(NTA)
Sometimes it's just one person's fault, you know? Like sure, maybe they need to "grow" and make sure they don't fall back into bad habits or whatever, but the other person kinda just.. needs to keep doing what they've always been doing lol
It takes 2 to tango. Neither party is fully innocent.
>It takes 2 to tango. Neither party is fully innocent.
Hmm, nope, that's not true. Plenty of times that one person is fully innocent, unless you're gonna use the ol "well they chose them!" excuse
>unless you're gonna use the ol "well they chose them!" excuse
you're enabling and encouraging this kind of behavior if you choose to give those kinds of people attention. people should just admit we're all simps for people we're in love with and we'll happily put up abuse from a person we think is better than us.
>you're enabling and encouraging this kind of behavior if you choose to give those kinds of people attention.
That's not how that works though, people aren't CHOOSING these people, they're finding out who they really are later down the road. There's nothing you can do about it, sometimes you're just a fucking "victim" of these people
So you identify as a victim? There's nothing you could have done better in that relationship? I get the feeling you've never even looked at yourself in the mirror
>I get the feeling you've never even looked at yourself in the mirror
Trust me, I've looked
Why can't someone just be a victim? Shit happens, man
>except leave them?
Well yeah, that's what you do when you find out who they really are lol
>Why can't someone just be a victim?
They're victims in the sense they're retards, like how jaywalking on a busy road without looking both ways would make you a victim of a car accident. It hurts, yes, but you should have seen the warning signs, and the blame lies at least partially on your incompetence or ignorance.
>It hurts, yes, but you should have seen the warning signs, and the blame lies at least partially on your incompetence or ignorance.
What are you gonna do? Walk away from someone because you think you might have saw a sign? lol, fuck off
And who is to say that there's always signs?
It's just ridiculous some people feel the need to always blame victims. What's the fucking point?
>And who is to say that there's always signs?
They're pretty apparent the vast majority of the time. Women just have the "I can fix him!" mentality.
>Why can't someone just be a victim?
because it's a convenient excuse to externalize responsibility. I mean, you don't just get together with someone and realize
>wait hold on, he deals drugs for a gang!
And I guess maybe if you were stupid enough to do that you might take away
>well I guess guns, drugs, and overaggressive tendencies are a red flag, and I was naive.
or more realistically
>well nothing was terribly wrong in the relationship but he needed space and I wouldn't give it to him. I guess my neediness contributed to this breakup.
Personal accountability is a hell of a virtue.
>or more realistically
OR, maybe, just maybe, there's times where it's none of this bullshit. Maybe the person seemed totally fine, maybe anyone would have trusted them just the same as you did
You think it's always some obvious shit but you're wrong. You think it's always easy to look at some "sign" and make up your mind based off just that but you're wrong. Look at how long some people have cheated on their husband/wife and got away with it. Hell, some people never even got caught lol
>hey're finding out who they really are later down the road. There's nothing you can do about it
except leave them?
I feel I let other people get to me and made me feel bad about being a tiny woman
I don't believe in anything women say
https://voca.ro/15eTsl9HNaWg
checked. thank you brother. rock solid advice. Godspeed in everything you do. this actually is true. i changed my mindset last year regarding work, and just putting my all into everything i do and the woman i am referring to actually approached me and gave me her number. recently, another girl approached me and started talking to me. i had worked with her in the past. what you are saying is absolutely true. being 100% focused on what i have to do and doing it to the fullest definitely gets people noticing you, and it solves the problem of social anxiety too because you dont worry about it, you just focus on what you have to do and be nice to everyone and those interactions naturally come up.
im sorry to hear about that. my mind was polluted by it and i was flirting with the idea of using emotional manipulation to "get what i want" but i feel that that will just make my problems worse and attract negativity.
Also my bf said he would always use those tactics but for once he was just being himself and I really liked him (he didn’t have much luck with girls before supposedly)
sorry it didnt work out, you will find someone else. it will work out for you in the long run
maybe you are right, we are oversocialized after all.
What does it will work out for you even mean you sound like a hollywood israelite
granted, its an empty optimistic phrase meant to reassure someone, if you set your mind to achieve an objective, you will naturally achieve that objective, if your objective is to acquire a relationship, the only thing which would prevent it would be your own doubt about it, a lack of faith, really. i was taking for granted that the person i was responding to was dedicated to achieving that end which was an assumption on my part, and erroneous, i admit.
I’m sure I can acquire a relationship just not a good one. And it’s not just about setting my mind to it there are factors you can’t control such as being ugly and aging etc.
>I’m sure I can acquire a relationship just not a good one.
there are always factors we cannot control, but this is true for everyone. believe in yourself.
jus bee ur best self 🙂
As in, take care of your skin, take care of your nutrition, use anti-aging shit (which you should be anyways, woman are prone to osteoporosis, joint problems is for everyone, your brain will deteriorate, your muscle mass will deteriorate, etc), and get proper sleep. Just be as attractive as you can be. That's what the rest of us have to do. And the rest of it is personality and virtue, as in loyalty, kindness, compassion, love, etc.
Same thing applies to women, you have to be what you want to attract.
Idk I feel like I already do this stuff I just have shit genetics and look like shit
The only thing I could work on is my muscle mass I guess, not sure how to prevent my brain from deteriorating
>just have shit genetics and look like shit
we tend to be our worst critics. I doubt you're that bad.
>The only thing I could work on is my muscle mass I guess
Lift weights. Squats are your friend.
>not sure how to prevent my brain from deteriorating
Lion's Mane mushroom, Royal Jelly, and if you want to be hardcore (don't recommend for beginners) Dihexa. All 3 are KNOWN to trigger neurogenesis, which interestingly enough also triggers nerve growth in your skin/extremities, teeth, etc.
I would hit on other woman. If she's not committed to you, and you're not committed to her, then there's nothing bonding you to wait around. No sense in wasting time, if she wants more, then she'll ask for more. I would just be up front about it.
This is the environment we work in now, when in Rome.. but yeah, if you want to wait around and keep your eggs in one basket, go for it. But you're not in a relationship. And that is the cold hard truth. So don't expect relationship standards. If she wants to be exclusive, she'll let you know. But it is not implicit
>but yeah, if you want to wait around and keep your eggs in one basket
this is what i am going to do. simply because i am 100 percent confident this will work out and i wont diffuse my energy unecessarily. i have to use my energy wisely.
It's only "toxic" if you let it be your only variable in how you approach dating. It's dumb to obsess over it, and it's also dumb to disregard it.
If you're just 'talking' and not dating, then of course you can assume she's railed by someone. This isn't the only woman you're talking to, right? Right??
>then of course you can assume she's railed by someone.
i wont allow these thoughts to pollute my mind, you have no power over me. i have a higher level of conduct. i am not part of the masses. i refuse to play this game
Men are meant to be single. We are more based this way. We might not realize it as kids when we've been brainwashed by the matriarchal mainstream. Sorry sweaty
>how do we get men to stop listening to toxic dating advice?
To mitigate this, increase the amount of women who show pro-social behaviours during interactions with men (e.g. honesty, care, clear communication, openness, self-awareness, reliability, accountability).
The usual reason why a man will show toxic behaviours towards women is because he thinks it's fair or necessary. The less cuntish the women he interacts with are, the less he will view it as fair or necessary to treat women as an annoying psychological obstacle attached to a vagina.
>she says she wants to take things slow and let ot develop organically
Inform her that she is organic and things only develop when you two develop them. Waiting for development doesn't work.
>The usual reason why a man will show toxic behaviours towards women is because he thinks it's fair or necessary.
You know that goes both ways right? When girls develop their own toxic behaviors, it's a self-defense mechanism against malicious actors. Friendly reminder that they are essentially being approached by gorillas with wallets. And yeah, it's got to start somewhere, so one has to give in and be the better person. That also means the kindness needs to be reciprocated. That's why I approach things very different today. All I try to do is be kind, compassionate, fun, confident, and funny. But I found out that that's how I want to treat everyone. I mean obviously, don't be a doormat, but it doesn't hurt you to be kind to others
>Friendly reminder that they are essentially being approached by gorillas with wallets
yeah good point. this is why i wanted to convey to her that i valued her and appreciated her, but the insecurity i projected was a problem because it made her feel insecure, which undermined my efforts to make her feel appreciated. furthermore, my anxiety caused me not to be present with her and fully be able to listen to her when she needed me to as i was more interested in "controlling the narrative" if you will. shameful stuff
Yeah man you got to get out of your head. Charisma is:
>Presence
>Authenticity
>Attentiveness
You do all three, and you're golden. Authenticity is so important too, because that's your rock. It doesn't change, you're showing your core. But more so, it's taking things in stride. When bad shit happens, you let it go, let it slide right off you. That conveys a ton of security. If you can stay optimistic after being handed a shit sandwich, you're golden. Let things go, stay calm, and figure shit out. I mean the fact that you are the rock, means that there's something external. So if you are the rock, then she is the tempest. So much of that is conveyed by just listening. Listen, pay attention, be attentive to her mannerisms and her emotions, and don't offer advice. If you have advice, you ask permission to give it. Most of the time, she just wants a sounding board to talk through her problems, cuz that's how she solves it.
When's the last time someone listened to you like that? I guarantee you, it is as rare for her. Such a simple thing that is so valuable.
thanks for sharing your insight. i agree with you.
>Waiting for development doesn't work.
forcing things doesn't work either, especially if people are legit busy. assumng her "guts are being remixed by chad/tyrone" is just defeatist mentality, it is not pragmatism nobody has time to get plowed by chad every day it's the most idiotic premise
>take things slow
Thing is anon, women don't take things slow, they want commitment the moment you people start being more than friends.
Chances are she is seeing someone else, doesn't have to be chad thunder cock but but chad enough that you are only worth a back up
This isn’t necessarily true we have like zero fucking info on the situation or their relationship
/adv/
here is a rundown of some of the "bad things" that have happened. as far as good things go, she constantly reassures me, tells me she is legit busy not trying to ignore me, i saw her a couple days ago, i let her know i respect how she has handled my less flattering behaviour (neediness/clinginess/overtexting overpursuing) and she said she respects how i have handled the situation as well and told me she will be around. so my gut tells me she is legit interested. she just got out of a LDR a day after giving me her number. but she emphasized she wants to move slowly and is not ready for a relationship right now, but she seems to remain "in my orbit" so to speak. it's hard to say for certain, but my gut tells me that she wants me and we will eventually get together. after all, she is the one who started pursuing me. furthermore, i have been really taking great care of myself lately, started working a second job, eating great working out, seeing actual results in my physical body. when i look in the mirror i love what i see. im just confident this will work out, hence my desire to banish the negative thoughts whigh will become self fulfilling prophecies.
we have only hung out a couple of times in the last couple of months, and when she "pulled back" i overtexted her and what not causing her to pull back more, but she came back and said she is not ignoring me she is really impressed with how i am handling the situation, etcetera, she works two jobs and seems legit busy. when i saw her the other day i could see on her face that she was legitimately tired from her tiring schedule, but maybe that makes me a cuck or a simp, lol i dont think so?
also, i told her i liked her rather soon, so that could have caused her to give up the ghost because the chase was over, im not necessarily saying the PUA guys have zero to contribute, i just dont want to live in the world of games and manipulation anyways i hope this provided enough context for anyone interested even though i know there is no "answer"
>she constantly reassures me
nagger what are you doing? Don't fucking act like that, you're going to chase her away. And yeah you're right, you should dispel any ideas of her fucking other people out of your head. But you also shouldn't commit to her, because she's not committed to you, so what the fuck are you doing? Jesus stop being such a pansy
Nothing is less attractive than desperation
i stopped being desperate already. i even started ignoring her some so i am learning my lesson. i cant help it that i enjoy being around and want to be around but im trying to be more in control of myself to build attraction properly i realized i was acting like a bitch, and i already learned from my mistake
Look man, not all PUA is bullshit. I don't subscribe to all of their ideas, but a lot of them are pretty good from a technical standpoint. All they are is guidelines on what you should be doing to communicate that you are a man with desires. One of the things you would have learned is, don't blow up her phone. Abundance mentality, is knowing that if there are 350 million people here, and 175 million are women, and maybe 35 million woman are the ones you want to date, then, there's a lot of fucking women you can date. You don't have to be desperate, the ocean is filled with fish. So don't act like it.
Also remember, male sexual encounters on average are getting lower and lower every year. So there's less and less competition for you, if you are sexually active. As shitty as that may sound, that's just facts. Those are facts. But that's not bad for you either, because you're looking for something real, many of those men are not. You might be the first guy she's ever met that she can fall in love with. Cuz none of those other guys are safe.
>inb4 whores
If your standard for whores is she has had sex before, then 90% of the woman you want to date are whores. Deal with it
i agree there is some valid info from the PUA and black pill type of thinking, but that thinking solely without any kind of balance leads to just pure materialistic hedonism, and if that's the real "truth" of our world, then it's already over for the lower tier people anyways, and their idealistic notions of love are not necessarily harmful, since their entire lives are just elaborate copes to soothe their pain of not being the dominant gigachad that everyone must pine to be under materilaism, since that would be the peak of all human fortune, and those who don't or cannot experience it are misfortunate souls, i find this to be rather uncompelling even though i think there is value in building attraction uing PUA strategy if you will, push pull whatever manipulation bullshit there is also more value to be found in other types of pursuits, like purpose for example. the purpose driven magentized man simply pulls women into his orbit, as i did. yes, i made mistakes, but she is still in my orbit regardless, and more will come.
There's some softer stuff out there that I practice, which is what I described here:
I don't know if what I do is unusual, or rare, but I really bond with the girls that I speak with. I'm also pretty selective, so I'm not just going to add bed notches for bed notches. I'm at the point where I understand that good sex has emotional connectedness. But I mean at some point, you've got to practice what you preach. If you don't want to date a promiscuous girl, then don't be promiscuous. If you want to date a kind girl, be kind. Even the really hot ones, you know, they don't know who they can trust, cuz every guy out there is looking to get into her pants. So I get to know her, and who she is, and that's a different experience. Actually communicating person to person. Of course, my previous trial run with a girl I really wanted wasn't great, I mean, she was hot, but she was also intelligent and pretty cool.
If she was just hot it would have been fine. But she was also smart, and we had similar opinions, and that's when I actually started getting anxious lmao. And because of that I didn't make a move, even though she was asking me what kind of girls I date, and always running up to tease me when I was chatting with other girls. Lmao, whoever I was hanging out with, if there were girls, she would mog them so fucking hard, and any guys at the table would have all eyes on her. I remember this one chick I was just having a conversation with, she had a boyfriend, and as soon as my girl walked up, she got bitchy with me hahaha
Fuck man, I really regret not going for it. But she genuinely liked my company, not only because I had the technicals to play cool, and show I was valuable, but because I was also practicing what I learned about charisma, having a strong center, being a rock. You learn how to be a rock, as in
>He's my rock
Then you gain like, a +10 CHA buff. And being her rock means you don't let shit get to you. Don't be insecure.
>she just got out of a LDR a day after giving me her number. but she emphasized she wants to move slowly and is not ready for a relationship right now, but she seems to remain "in my orbit" so to speak.
>she says she wants to take things slow and let ot develop organically.
Cut all form of contact and walk away, she is not interested in you.
lol, no, i know she is into me, she made it obvious. she was in a LDR. she has been going through some stuff. im not going to discard her because she isnt sucking my dick daily and sending me 50 text messages a day. i will patiently wait for her to come around. will i see other women? sure, but i am not going to force her or ghost her or block her or anything stupid like that. i refuse to allow rumination or anxiety to cause me to do anything rash.
when I started reading the thread I was going to tell you that was the only issue I had with that you said is that you earlier said you wouldn't pursue other women.
a maybe is a no, but whatever little chance there is of her coming around disappears if you lash out at it. I am in a similar situation with a insanely busy girl who has 2 jobs, we only share a few messages here and there now but I made sure to say I am very interested in her and we have talked through very intimate things and she has said she is interested in me too just too busy to have a relationship right now. I said all right you know where to find me, and now I am talking to other women and spending less time on her, fundamentally time is the only real resource you have and how you spend it says a million times more about you then whatever dumb words come out of your mouth. "if she wanted to, she would" and even if you don't believe that, what kind of quality relationship could you possibly have with someone who has so little free time she can't even spend time with someone she likes?
i agree with your analysis and here i highlight that i came to this conclusion. i dont chase her. i dont text her. i completely changed my approach, and she knows how i feel too. interesting you are in a similar situation. i agree with you on the time economy thing. i also am skeptical of my own feelings for her, as is probably not very clear by the tone of the thread. i appreciate you sharing your perspective, and i also am going to be pursuing other women and what not. it funny too because i got another job and a couple of the females already made it clear they are interested in me so its honestly just a matter of time if i keep on the path im on. im getting a lot more attention than i was even a year ago. part of it is i am in better physical health and more sober minded. i just know that N likes me. i know she has been through a wierd life like me. i refuse to discard her. i know deep down in my heart of hearts or whatever her and i are going to get together. ive known her since high school, althogh we didnt talk awhile, but this isnt some random woman i met on tinder or something, she actually has inspired me to push myself to the next level as i realied how strongly i was pulled toward her. incredibly powerful motivator
I don't know, I think you'll find advice like that here, sometimes. Try not to listen to it too much.
for me personally, i try to just focus on what i want, and what i want i authenticity in relationships, so that's what i give. if i don't get it in return or i get cut off, i saved myself time. simple as that. i just ignore all the game shit unless its specific like when i overtexted for example otherwise i lean on authenticity. i do want to learn a bit of seduction and like tantric sex and kegel shit so i can fuck extremely good, but i really just want an authentic relationship, even if i do have to do courting/games to "keep the fire alive" emotionally or whatever, i dont even know, maybe im meant to be a monk lol
Why are you talking in terms like "men" when you are the one that wants to forget such "dating advice"?
as my OP shows, the community can tend towards some ludicrous extremes in thinking that actually psychologically harms those who consume them
what women call toxic behavior could more accurately be called self-defense in the face of abuse. that's why women keep dating toxic men, because they don't respect men who don't respect themselves. if a woman is complaining about it to you, it means she's in love with the "toxic" guy and she's just using you as an emotional tampon.
You are wasting your time, read the previous thread, dude is in her fingers, he was okay with accepting the fact that this woman just wanted him as a back up option and know how to play him.
His defensive mechanism is to call incels any guy that points out her bad behaviour while describing himself as a pseudo chad, This dude doesn't really want advice, what he wants is validation.
He wants you to validate his feelings and say that being an orbiting bitch for a random girl will go excelent
He wants you to tell him that he is cool and mature for his decisions
Just look at one bit from the previous thread and his current reaction
>casually mocked me when i said my dad would be out of town so we could hang out at the house (could have been an attempt at humor i guess)
Red flag #1
>casually mentions other guys pursuing her
#2
>casually mentions that she is attracted to her boss second time we
#3
>she says she wants to be more prudish than she was in past and move slow and take things organically
And the biggest one of them all, #4
When a woman says #4 to you, it means she sees you as a potential backup option, in case Chad ditches her.
>His defensive mechanism is to call incels any guy that points out her bad behaviour while describing himself as a pseudo chad, This dude doesn't really want advice, what he wants is validation.
>He wants you to validate his feelings and say that being an orbiting bitch for a random girl will go excelent
>He wants you to tell him that he is cool and mature for his decisions
this is frankly absurd. i didnt call people incels, in fact in that thread i was tacitly agreeing with the people who were saying her behaviour was right. as far as me being weak about this? maybe you are right. im trying to figure out the correct balance on how to approach this situation. i am open to correction, but i think here you are being a bit ungenerous with me. i am willing to be critiqued, i am just skeptical about the "she isnt texting you daily therefore she is riding chad" ideology, especially given the wierdness of the situation i am in now, from both of our points of view. i also had red flag behaviour, i understand where you are coming from but i feel you are being a bit heavy handed here. also presented myself as a pseudo chad? how? by pointing out she approached me? okay well i was a guy playing pokemon all day working the bare minimum just a few months ago. im not pretending to be swimming in pussy, i am simply practicing positivity.
>saying her behaviour was right
saying her behaviour was not right* but i wondered if diagnosing her as borderline was a bit overboard. im trying to thread the needle here and i am asking for help in that regard, sorry for referring to it as "toxic dating" that was where i fucked up, and i admit it, its just a response to an environment where men are heavily disadvantaged
>im trying to figure out the correct balance on how to approach this situation.
Scarcity is value. If she can get access to you whenever she wants on her schedule, then your time isn't valuable. If she can capture your attention whenever she wants on her schedule, then your attention isn't valuable.
>mentions other guys pursuing her
>mentions being attracted to her boss
First instance she's trying to elevate herself and state that she has value. Second instance she's trying to diminish you and state you have less value. Both are inappropriate and I would internally diminish her to a pump and dump, and treat her as such. If you actually get involved with this woman, protect yourself and do NOT get emotionally invested. Number one, you'll be able to tank the future rejection, number two, you will look hotter for treating her as less special.
Scarcity is value. Would you treat a whore and a virgin the same way?
yeah, you do make valid points, but what about grace? i did some stupid shit too.
>says she wants to take things slow and let ot develop organically
Yeah, you got friendzoned. She either has attraction or she doesn't, and if she does then she'd be all over you. She's trying to keep you around for emotional support. Go pursue other women.
nonsense, she is obviously attracted to me. she is just going through a bunch of bullshit right now. im just going to maintain and i know for a fact she will come around. she cant be using me for emotional support because i am not giving her anything right now. i also am not going to bother pursuing anyone, her included, im simply focused on achieving my goals and pushing myself harder each day. common knowledge says "chad is rearranging her guts you got friend zoned." i dont accept that conclusion
>she is obviously attracted to me. she is just going through a bunch of bullshit right now
LMFAO
you can tell this dude has never had a woman actually be attracted to him
also, i choose to disagree with you simply for the effect of positive thinking and its results lol
You could always play the reverse uno card and friendzone her. She's used to getting a certain level of attention from you and suddenly it's diminished. Maybe you start talking to other girls, trying to get to know them. She shouldn't be the goal mind you, but any growing affection from her should be treated as a side effect of your natural desires from life. Meet other women, put yourself out there. You don't have to make it your life's calling but certainly some well earned fun and R&R
yeah, that has been pretty much my approach, i have not initiated contact with her for a few days, and changed my texting habits, and then she came around my work and said she would “be around” she seems to be letting me know she is not going anywhere, she always apologized profusely. yeah i admit it feels wierd like she is distant, and yeah i should let other girls pursue me
alright lol i guess im retarded fine doesnt matter because i am doing all the right things in my life so i will get a girl anyways even if she isnt into me
Focus on principles first. Incels are unprincipled garbage whose core attribute is selfishness. They manifest in slightly different ways by personality, but the consistent thread is an attitude hostile to any sort of moral obligations.
Those kinds of people will always exist, but you can at least teach people to spot the angle that advice is coming from. If a man isn't interested in fucking around or social dickwaving, he shouldn't listen to incels whose entire worldview is based on doing those things.
Sounds rich coming from an unprincipled whore whose entire worldview revolves around getting cared and provided for with nothing in return and whoring around with the very 'toxic' men she claims she vehemently hates. All the while putting up a facade she can actually provide for herself but le independent wahman maymas.
I'm a man, you dunce, and I refuse to marry a whore or act like one.
You can't fix everyone. There are always going to be scam artists and Dube's willing to listen to scan artists. Nothing you can do about it.
Apparently.
checked. cant hate the player selling coaching for 4k a pop
>how do we get men to stop listening to toxic dating advice?
Why should that matter since it is not your problem?
fair enough. it was a stupid premise for the OP i admit it was really about me and not men in general besides there is useful stuff in there that could be construed as “toxic”
fact is, if you were not a sub 8 male, you would be having sex. free sex is only for chad, as women are incapable of loving sub 8 males and only use them for their money.
she paid for the second date though and she paid for the tip in the first date. i reject your refuctionism
money is not worth much to women, what a woman wants is intense sexual pleasure which can only be obtained by looking at chads wide jaw, broad shoulders, large frame and big penis.
i reject your nonsensical point of view simply because it is nothing more than psychological poison. i do not allow such toxic thinking in my mind
you reject it because the truth is so cruel that it is unbelievable. cute virgin girls get plapped in their pussy, asshole and mouth by chad, and they will never let you do it too. all you get are obese old women who have finished riding the cock carousel.
its your truth. not mine. i reject your thinking. cynicism, envy etcetera are simply mental prisons for small minded prisoners. i am not a prisoner. i am free and make my own mind up
you're a coper who cant handle the fact that chad is plapping all the virgins and you get weird games with old women who have already fucked and sucked dozens of chads. if you dont believe me thats fine, but i suggest you go to the mall and look at who the women are with. every man who has women with him looks almost exactly the same.
its not possible for that much chaddery and stacyism to be occurring at scale. people have jobs and stuff outside of getting railed by chad in an alley or bathroom lmfao
i met a chad who had sex over 4500 times. fact is, you've never met a woman who hasn't been plapped by a few chads already. you should ask this woman about her sexual history, but dont be surprised to find out she lost both her pussy and asshole virginity in the same night to a tall man with a wide jaw.
i frankly dont give a shit. i lost my virginity to a cutie in high school who would be considered a 9-10 easily. it doesnt change the present moment. i simply reject your cynicism. i will have success. end of story.
cope, she wasn't a 9/10. she was one of the loser girls. the 9's are only for chad.
then i guess im a sentimental chad, oh well, outliers exist, i still reject your cynisicm abjectly without even entertaining it except in a primitive kind of attraction sense but all these things are gamifiable to most extent because most people are average and not gigachad
fact is, if you were really chad, this girl would already be letting you plap her. the fact that she isn't tells me you are just a larping sub 8 with an inflated ego from his youth.
i dont have an inflated ego, i was using your metrick. i think its plainly evident that i am simply an honest person by this thread and the other i linked discussing this same subject in the past. im not mistepresenting myself or hiding anything.
you aren't honest you're just a larping sub 8 pretending to be chad. you had rich parents in highschool and convinced a girl to sleep with you but now you're old AF and you dont have your rich parents money anymore.
you dont even have an argument. we are finished here.
okay "chad", please keep telling me about how you've been on 2 dates with a girl and still haven't came inside her mouth. you're a delusionalcel.
Ngl I wouldn’t go out with a guy that made me pay on the second date or was even ok with it
Damn she must really hate herself or be an insanely brainwashed feminist
i tried to pay, she insisted. i reject your negativity
>Ngl I wouldn’t go out with a guy that made me pay on the second date or was even ok with it
Pft, bitch, you're the one that wants to guy out on the date.. YOU PAY
Every man on the planet would be happy staying at home, eating bagel bites and fucking all night instead of going out on your gay ass date, so why in the fuck is he the one that's paying?
>I don't believe in anything women say
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lol
>how do we get men to stop listening to toxic dating advice
It's simple remove woman's rights.
>how do we get men to stop listening to toxic dating advice?
By taking a level of interest in their lives and getting involved in a way that isn't intrusive, or destructive.
Most young men gravitate to modern dating shit because their fathers and most of, or if not all the other men around them have failed, or abandoned them.
When I was around the age that most of you are now, I fell for some of the PUA shit that took off in the early-mid 2000s. A large part of that was because I grew up watching my father have a string of girlfriends and ONS, while also being a completely useless, absentee mentor on the subject. Not only that, the handful of men in my life who might have been able to guide me a little better never reached out to me in any way. The only ones who did were other idiots who just wanted to look flashy and cool.
>their fathers and most of, or if not all the other men around them have failed, or abandoned them.
I'd say that just as often as this is the case, so is it that women choose to walk away from their kid's dad, which limits his involvement in their lives down to just 4 days a month. I dunno, I see this happen way more than I see a guy just abandon his fucking kid(s)
Yeah, that's fair enough. The reason my dad was having a string of gfs and ONS was because my parents divorced when I was six. It definitely limited the amount of time that I could spend with my dad, which probably contributed to the problems. In saying that, had they stayed together, I'd be living with the problems of growing up seeing my parents fight all the time, instead. So sometimes a level of fucking up is unavoidable.
But a lack of strong, mature male role models is always going to be a detriment to young boys. Even if your mother does a very good job, she really only knows so much about raising boys. And when I say "so much", I mean "very little". I'm sure it's the same as single fathers raising a girl. There's no way that guy is going to have the right insight on his own; you need both parents to balance it out. But then again, my parents should probably never have had kids. I'm one of three, I'm the closest thing they have to a normal son and I'm totally fucked.
>how do we get men to stop listening to toxic dating advice?
There's no way to. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
The best thing you can do is live according to what makes sense to you and fuck what everyone else thinks. I suggest reading The Will to Change by bell hooks. You may like it. It frames what she calls patriarchal masculinity (what we now call toxic masculinity) versus feminist masculinity rather well.
i will look into those things, thanks for the suggestions. i realized in interacting with her that my behaviors and thought patterns were very cringy and not really establishing connection with her but more like “controlling the narrative” so this thinking about how i behaved and wasted a great opportunity, or didnt behave optimally, caused me to critically evaluate my thinking which generated those behaviours and sought to change the thinking patterns at their core. it was my care for her juxtaposed with my behaviour creating a lack of security for her which motivated the critique or my own behaviour
>she is just legitimately busy
She's not. She's just blowing you off and keep you hanging. Think about it: if you really wanted to spend time with someone and you're busy, wouldn't you find a workaround to make time? Exactly.
okay, sure, but i was blowing her phone up so she pulled back, and then she started working her second job. i reject your black and white thinking. even if i was “rejected” im not giving her anything so its not like it costs me anything. in fact its beneficial for me given my increased motivation. now im not basing my motivation off of getting her but her in my life catalyzed this affect, so no, im not going to descend into black pill thinking, sorry not sorry bub. i create my reality. you black pilled materialists can do whatever you want i have higher ideals and goals in life. i want wallow in the mud of cynicism with you.
well, it doesnt matter, you go for it regardless the idea you have to be percect before starting means you never start, so follow your heart who gives a shit? you only have one life you are sure of so dont waste it on ruminating about what if live now!
i wont wallow*
why doesn't it matter? it's so scary messing up and I might look stupid to him even if he misses me.
excuses.
isn't it a good excuse though? it hurts being rejected by him once and to hear he misses me years later is like getting punched in the heart.
okay, well i probably didnt fully understand the context. yeah i suppose i can see why you would be hesitant, but dont people sometimes make mistakes or changes their minds about things? i could understand how it would hurt you though because you want to feel secure and it feels like he is being flippant about you. yeah i suppose your hesitance is valid.
what do you mean people sometimes make mistakes? or changes their minds? I mean, I am a female bastard so...
it does feel like my existence doesn't really matter to him. he said he missed me but it hurts to hear him probably lie about being in love with me.
can you elaborate?
you said it yourself. like he's flippant about me. how it does hurt to be so callous to say to another he misses me in private but I had to find out through another person.
like what if he was just saying that to the other girl to make her jealous?
i totally feel you, it hurts when we can be vulnerablr and it doesnt work out. just remember it took strength to even get to that point of vulnerability so it isnt proof you are weak or naive or something
>choosing you
>wants to take it slow
My retard, stop thinking in terms of men and women and compare shit to yourself, if you’re really feeling someone are you gonna say “let’s take it slow”? No my retard, that is what you tell the side character that you think is good enough but isn’t your main interest. You aren’t friendzoned, you’re just not the main character for her. You gotta think of it like this, a lot of women, especially if they are on apps, are out there living a visual novel, they got 4 different husbandos to choose from and they know which one they want the most, they just aren’t sure they’ll get the good ending.
Let’s take it slow just means “I have options” and I want to see where they go, that’s all, you’re not friendzoned but she is telling you not to put all your eggs in her basket.
good summary, but i am not a retard. i know her main character is her boss, but obviously, she knows deep down it isn't going anywhere, hence why she approached and gave her number to me. i know she wants me. i do appreciate you spelling it out like this it helps. Godspeed
Post your paypal I'm gonna send money so you can buy a spy cam and put it in her purse so you can see with your own eyes how she's fucking around and keeping you on backup
Retard
not everyone plays games like that? i feel sorry about your grim world view, i never even implied she was waiting for me or something, but the idea that i am going to sit around and conclude she must be fucking around? according to your logick, she was in the LDR just to string the guy along while getting plowed by chad every day. i simply reject this on a logistical level as my OP details