How do I make myself get less anxious about sex?

How do I make myself get less anxious about sex? I'm almost 25 but I had an overly sheltered upbringing so I've never even dated. I'm scared that if I meet a guy I really like, I'll just sperg out and ruin everything.
If you're a girl, what do you wish you knew getting into your early relationships and loaing your virginity?
If you're a guy, what do you wish your partner did when you took her virginity?

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  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Once you get to the point of sex you'll be so horny your anxiousness will go away.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >If you're a guy, what do you wish your partner did when you took her virginity?
      smile and maybe say oh baby instead of crying the whole time and closing her eyes tight so she didn't have to look at what was happening

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        kek, moaning noises are appreciated as well

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Will I just know what to do if I get to that point?

      I would say that sex complicated things and will make you emotionally attached to whoever you sleep with. So be careful that you don’t have sex with people who treat you poorly. It will ruin your self esteem if you don’t protect yourself. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

      Assuming I've got a guy who's great and is long term material, what if I'm still nervous about sex? I'm worried that I'll reach that point and suddenly be a fish out of water, or that I'll do it so wrong that I never want to try again. I'm sure it varies from guy to guy, but is there anything I should absolutely avoid doing when the time comes?

      I was in exact same position. Good-looking and got any girl I wanted but was too awkward about sex. In the end though I just took Viagra for it, jerk offd before and told her I haven't jerk offd in ages so go slow. I came in five minutes but was good to go again in five minutes. Anyway just pop a blue pill for first few times until youre not nervous anymore.

      Can girls take viagra?

      >If you're a guy, what do you wish your partner did when you took her virginity?
      smile and maybe say oh baby instead of crying the whole time and closing her eyes tight so she didn't have to look at what was happening

      Oh god, even just thinking about it is making me tear up gdi why am i like this

      kek, moaning noises are appreciated as well

      If I'm a quiet moaner, does that make it sound like I'm faking?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is mostly false, It can happen for some people, but if you're the anxious type it probably won't happen for you.

      There's not much you can do, sex, like many other new activity can be scary at first, but as you do it you get more comfortable with it you stop being anxious about it. What you should keep in mind though is that its fine to be a bit anxious, you shouldnt have any expectations and you shouldnt try to perform. If its your first time having sex dont think about pleasing your partner. I know it sounds against the advice everyone gives about sex and dont worry, that time will come, but when its the first time you dont need that pressure to perform. You should just do what feels natural and hot to you. If you feel like kissing kiss him, if you feel like grabbing his chest/arms/whatever do that etc. The first times you're having sex you should tey to get used with the act and figure out what you like. Youll have plenty of time ti think about pleasing your partner after you get kore comfortable with sex.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >If its your first time having sex dont think about pleasing your partner.
        This is gonna be a tough one. I'll try to internalise the lesson here though

        >How do I make myself get less anxious about sex?
        Best cure is to have sex, I think

        >I'll just sperg out and ruin everything.
        That's not possible

        >If you're a guy, what do you wish your partner did when you took her virginity?
        I've never taken a girl's virginity but I don't see why there'd be something I wished she did differently lol. Anal? But I just want anal 24/7 so you know

        >Once you get to the point of sex you'll be so horny your anxiousness will go away.
        This is sooo not fricking true at all. Anxiety was on a whole different fricking level than my horniness, and I was pretty damn horny

        [...]
        >I would say that sex complicated things and will make you emotionally attached to whoever you sleep with
        Yeah this shit's not really that true either

        >Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships.
        And this is just moronic

        [...]
        >kek, moaning noises are appreciated as well
        Unless they're fake, then they're annoying

        [...]
        >There's not much you can do, sex, like many other new activity can be scary at first, but as you do it you get more comfortable with it you stop being anxious about it.
        If at first you don't succeed, try, try again

        >and you shouldnt try to perform
        Hah! That wasn't a fricking option for me lol

        >Unless they're fake, then they're annoying
        Is being on the quieter side a bad sign? Anytime I try stuff by myself, I rarely make a peep beyond just breathing heavier.
        >That's not possible
        Please elaborate I'm literally stupid when it comes to this stuff

        >How do I make myself get less anxious about sex?
        Simple, stop feeling bad if you're bad at sex, just be cool with rackin' up some Ls as you learn.
        >I'm scared that if I meet a guy I really like, I'll just sperg out and ruin everything.
        Oh! That's a different fear, that's the fear of your own neuroticism and it's valid.
        To solve that, practice being less neurotic in medium-stress situations. That way, when high-stress situations pop up, you'll be better at not being neurotic.
        >If you're a guy, what do you wish your partner did when you took her virginity?
        Had sex; we did, was kind of overrated but mission accomplished.

        >Simple, stop feeling bad if you're bad at sex
        I don't know if I'm bad at sex yet. What would bad sex even be? Does that just mean not reaching climax?

        Also, since you're a woman, I'm going to say this now just in case you had an absolute lack of any competent parent in your life that never told you:

        Fricking decide what you want, which feelings in life you prioritise, and which feelings are lower priority / unimportant.
        So many women keep trying to satisfy ALL of their feelings at once, and that doesn't fricking work because sometimes you can't get everything you want at once.
        In situations like that, decide which feeling is the most important to you, focus on satisfying that one, and abandon / disregard the feelings that can't be satisfied.
        I know this might seem like the most obvious goddamn advice in the world to you, but so many people just do not get the concept.

        >just in case you had an absolute lack of any competent parent in your life
        Oh my parents were absolutely incompetent with this. My dad would threaten to kill me if he thought I was sexually active or dating (still wanted me to get married, but also didn't want me to) and the only thing my mom told me was to let men down easy when I reject them so they don't kill me. Otherwise, I only learned how sex sorta works from the internet.

        >Fricking decide what you want, which feelings in life you prioritise, and which feelings are lower priority / unimportant.
        By feelings, do you mean the expectations in a relationship? Like in terms of defining how serious something is?

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Is being on the quieter side a bad sign? Anytime I try stuff by myself, I rarely make a peep beyond just breathing heavier.
          That sounds hot for some reason.. Maybe because I'm that way too, or maybe I'm just sick of the fake moans some girls do, I dunno

          Moaning is useful as a way of guiding the other person as to what you like, if that makes sense. I they do something you like, moan, and they'll hear that and know "alright, she/he clearly enjoys that, so I should do more of that." Note that this makes fake moans that much more moronic

          >Please elaborate I'm literally stupid when it comes to this stuff
          First of all, you're a girl, right? So this is even more true for you, but still true for guys too. You can't ruin everything, how the hell do you think you could even do that? And that's 1000x as true if it's your damn first time

          Plus, even if you did somehow manage to "ruin" it.. so what? Just try again in the morning, frick it lol. But unless you can come up with some idea as to how you could ruin it, I'd say you don't have to worry about that at all

          For me, the worst thing you could do is be tripping out about everything, worried about if you're doing this right or this wrong, and then eventually you break down crying and freak out and I have to spend the rest of the night comforting you. I would do it, but man, I think I'm getting a little old to be dealing with that lol

          >the only thing my mom told me was to let men down easy when I reject them so they don't kill me
          That's terrible advice btw. You have to be as blunt, clear and honest as possible, don't leave any room for misinterpretations. Otherwise they might end up killing you. Letting guys down easy is a good way to get yourself a stalker, or just a normal pissed off guy

          >Otherwise, I only learned how sex sorta works from the internet.
          That's all you need bb. Copy porn, preferably the filthiest of porn but that might just be me. Ride the dick though, do god's work

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >For me, the worst thing you could do is be tripping out about everything, worried about if you're doing this right or this wrong, and then eventually you break down crying and freak out and I have to spend the rest of the night comforting you. I would do it, but man, I think I'm getting a little old to be dealing with that lol
            Oh I just thought of a story to add

            One time my first gf queefed while we were fricking and I think I might have let out the slightest laugh, aannnd.. the b***h started crying and I had to spend the rest of the night comforting her. You got to be fricking kidding me. Like, I will blow air in your pussy just to make you queef so I can laugh at it, yet here she is, fricking crying about that shit. See, that kinda does ruin it, though I didn't mind so much back then. And on that note, I should be able to laugh during sex without you getting all upset and/or crying

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >That sounds hot for some reason..
            It's so weird imagining anything about myself being considered hot. Thank you though.
            >Moaning is useful as a way of guiding the other person as to what you like, if that makes sense
            That explains a lot. Kinda like red light green light
            >You can't ruin everything, how the hell do you think you could even do that?
            I guess the way I said it is pretty catastrophising. The worst case scenario I envision is that something about my physical performance or my demeanor kills the mood so hard that the act stops immediately and the guy can't bring himself to let me try again. I guess also followed by a break up.
            >tripping out about everything, worried about if you're doing this right or this wrong, and then eventually you break down crying
            Oh wow, an exact description of me! I hope I can get this shit out of my head by the time I need to.
            >That's terrible advice btw
            I learned this the hard way in high school. Didn't die or get attacked, but I got stalked by a guy about 10 years older than me. I think I've fixed my approach to rejection now though.
            >Ride the dick though, do god's work
            I tried pretending to ride while I played with my vibrator the other night (kinda sandwhiched it between me and my pillow) and it's actually more fun than I thought. I liked feeling some air on my face instead of getting all hot and sweaty just laying down. My creaky ass bed frame decided to scream when I got too into it though, and idk why, but it struck me as hilarious. Had to stop for a minute to get the giggles out of my system.

            >For me, the worst thing you could do is be tripping out about everything, worried about if you're doing this right or this wrong, and then eventually you break down crying and freak out and I have to spend the rest of the night comforting you. I would do it, but man, I think I'm getting a little old to be dealing with that lol
            Oh I just thought of a story to add

            One time my first gf queefed while we were fricking and I think I might have let out the slightest laugh, aannnd.. the b***h started crying and I had to spend the rest of the night comforting her. You got to be fricking kidding me. Like, I will blow air in your pussy just to make you queef so I can laugh at it, yet here she is, fricking crying about that shit. See, that kinda does ruin it, though I didn't mind so much back then. And on that note, I should be able to laugh during sex without you getting all upset and/or crying

            >And on that note, I should be able to laugh during sex without you getting all upset and/or crying
            I can understand her embarrassment, but I see what you mean. I actually didn't think laughing during sex was a thing until my riding story above.

            girl I liked loved to post this pepe

            He looks so cute and happy!! 😀

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >I don't know if I'm bad at sex yet. What would bad sex even be?
          Congratulations, you realise that "bad at sex" is subjective and has whatever definition you want it to have. So assign good sex to be "anything which involves spending time with the person I love" and all sex is a W.
          >By feelings, do you mean the expectations in a relationship? Like in terms of defining how serious something is?
          Which relationships you want and what you want out of the relationship.
          Which I suppose includes your expectations, yes.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Good adv. Also check em

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >How do I make myself get less anxious about sex?
      Best cure is to have sex, I think

      >I'll just sperg out and ruin everything.
      That's not possible

      >If you're a guy, what do you wish your partner did when you took her virginity?
      I've never taken a girl's virginity but I don't see why there'd be something I wished she did differently lol. Anal? But I just want anal 24/7 so you know

      >Once you get to the point of sex you'll be so horny your anxiousness will go away.
      This is sooo not fricking true at all. Anxiety was on a whole different fricking level than my horniness, and I was pretty damn horny

      I would say that sex complicated things and will make you emotionally attached to whoever you sleep with. So be careful that you don’t have sex with people who treat you poorly. It will ruin your self esteem if you don’t protect yourself. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

      >I would say that sex complicated things and will make you emotionally attached to whoever you sleep with
      Yeah this shit's not really that true either

      >Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships.
      And this is just moronic

      kek, moaning noises are appreciated as well

      >kek, moaning noises are appreciated as well
      Unless they're fake, then they're annoying

      This is mostly false, It can happen for some people, but if you're the anxious type it probably won't happen for you.

      There's not much you can do, sex, like many other new activity can be scary at first, but as you do it you get more comfortable with it you stop being anxious about it. What you should keep in mind though is that its fine to be a bit anxious, you shouldnt have any expectations and you shouldnt try to perform. If its your first time having sex dont think about pleasing your partner. I know it sounds against the advice everyone gives about sex and dont worry, that time will come, but when its the first time you dont need that pressure to perform. You should just do what feels natural and hot to you. If you feel like kissing kiss him, if you feel like grabbing his chest/arms/whatever do that etc. The first times you're having sex you should tey to get used with the act and figure out what you like. Youll have plenty of time ti think about pleasing your partner after you get kore comfortable with sex.

      >There's not much you can do, sex, like many other new activity can be scary at first, but as you do it you get more comfortable with it you stop being anxious about it.
      If at first you don't succeed, try, try again

      >and you shouldnt try to perform
      Hah! That wasn't a fricking option for me lol

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I would say that sex complicated things and will make you emotionally attached to whoever you sleep with. So be careful that you don’t have sex with people who treat you poorly. It will ruin your self esteem if you don’t protect yourself. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I was in exact same position. Good-looking and got any girl I wanted but was too awkward about sex. In the end though I just took Viagra for it, jerk offd before and told her I haven't jerk offd in ages so go slow. I came in five minutes but was good to go again in five minutes. Anyway just pop a blue pill for first few times until youre not nervous anymore.

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >How do I make myself get less anxious about sex?
    Simple, stop feeling bad if you're bad at sex, just be cool with rackin' up some Ls as you learn.
    >I'm scared that if I meet a guy I really like, I'll just sperg out and ruin everything.
    Oh! That's a different fear, that's the fear of your own neuroticism and it's valid.
    To solve that, practice being less neurotic in medium-stress situations. That way, when high-stress situations pop up, you'll be better at not being neurotic.
    >If you're a guy, what do you wish your partner did when you took her virginity?
    Had sex; we did, was kind of overrated but mission accomplished.

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Also, since you're a woman, I'm going to say this now just in case you had an absolute lack of any competent parent in your life that never told you:

    Fricking decide what you want, which feelings in life you prioritise, and which feelings are lower priority / unimportant.
    So many women keep trying to satisfy ALL of their feelings at once, and that doesn't fricking work because sometimes you can't get everything you want at once.
    In situations like that, decide which feeling is the most important to you, focus on satisfying that one, and abandon / disregard the feelings that can't be satisfied.
    I know this might seem like the most obvious goddamn advice in the world to you, but so many people just do not get the concept.

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    girl I liked loved to post this pepe

  7. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Dating men or dealing with them at all isn't worth it. I had my first kiss on my one practice relationship, I tried to lose my virginity too but he sucked at anything sexual we did so I dumped him before it got to that point. Very underwhelming experience, I'm staying celibate for the rest of my life and remaining stress-free. But I don't expect you to do the same thing considering you're asking for relationship advice on NSFFW and you're self-conscious about your lack of experience.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I'm staying celibate for the rest of my life
      I can't even begin to tell you how many times I fantasized about living in a medieval convent when I was younger, just to avoid all this mess.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        You can avoid it for the most part. I don't befriend men. When guys try to hit on me, I tell them I don't have snap/instagram (both true) or I have a boyfriend.
        If you really wanted to avoid "all this mess", I don't understand why you're actually hearing out what basement dwellers have to say about your sexuality. Some guy literally told you to copy porn. Don't listen to men's advice on anything, they will only ever want to set you up for failure so that they can take advantage of you. If you're going to get brainwashed by an imageboard, at least have it be crystal cafe or some other women-exclusive one so you don't end up as a doormat pickme. Good luck.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >If you really wanted to avoid "all this mess"
          I mean, that was back when I was younger. I was getting fearmongered by my parents and kept really ignorant, so the guys who showed interest in me were mainly ones who wanted to take advantage of that ignorance.
          >Don't listen to men's advice on anything, they will only ever want to set you up for failure so that they can take advantage of you
          I don't know, I want to have a relationship with a man someday so doesn't it make sense to pick their brains a little?
          >If you're going to get brainwashed by an imageboard, at least have it be crystal cafe or some other women-exclusive one so you don't end up as a doormat pickme.
          I didn't know about crystal cafe, I'll definitely check it out too.
          Otherwise, I don't think I'm getting brainwashed just by asking questions on here. Simply hearing a few opinions isn't enough to fundamentally change me, just give some perspective.

  8. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Anon, date a Christian. No sex until marriage and they’re more than likely guaranteed to be a valuable relationship

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      I guess maybe if he's more secular. I'm a secular muslim, so I don't think most christians would be down for that.
      Inb4 date a muslim guy
      Nuh uh no thanks not happening would rather die. Besides really secular, westernised ones like me, but I haven't met any.

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >How do I make myself get less anxious about sex?
    Have sex.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Would you have sex with someone who's obviously apprehensive and maybe even scared?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        No, because that would be rape.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          So just having sex is a bit of a reductive solution, yeah?

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's literally not a big deal. A lot of people think sex is supposed to be like a porn film, but it's not like that for the majority of people. It's all in your head and once you lose your virginity you really have nothing to look forward to after. Ideally you should be a virgin until marriage. That makes you highly valuable in todays world, much more valuable than the act of having sex.
    >t. former sex addict

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