How do I get a first job? Serious answers only

How do I get a first job? Serious answers only

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    learn Excel

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      FPBP
      Just say on your resume you got something like 80% on the isv online test, also explicitly say that you can use vlookup and pivot tables, HR bitches eat that shit up. Also say that you can use all of Microshits garbage office suite and you can get any roastie clerical job. Bonus points if its for the government. Once you've done that for a year getting something else is much easier

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >mux dip blu gup bon muh fr blap goo blep

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    grocery store

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This anon is right. It helps build your work ethic and customer service skills, and it can be a career if you stay in it long enough. Try to find a locally owned store though.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Do I just walk there with a resume and ask for a job?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Most grocery stores you apply through their website. Try and find a whole foods to work at. It's a nice store and mostly more wealthy people shop there so you don't have people being total dicks to you. I've worked at a whole foods for about 10 months now and it's been alright. They start you out at $15/hr which isn't bad for no work experience.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >hey just go waste your time at a fucking grocery store for minimum wage instead of learning skills as a contractor

            idiot advice from other idiots

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              OP is obviously not at that level yet. Baby steps.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                No, just skip being a cashier wagie. If you're thinking he needs to build people skills, he should just do a customer facing job, dealing with clients in a chosen industry. Working retail is a fucking waste of time, and can easily destroy people's self esteem.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Completely agree, I would rather dedicate my entire life to trade jobs instead

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              well, you learn a lot working shitty minimum wage jobs, like how unfair life is and you develop an intense dislike for the general public and possibly humanity as a whole, and then you use that newfound hatred to try and get money from people regardless of ethics

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              But anon $15/hr is twice minimum wage. And what else do you expect someone with 0 marketable skills to do. Fuck off.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Bro did you not actually read what OP said? Work on your literacy skills first

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Thanks man

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          They will take anyone with a pulse as long as they are not rapists or high. Retards went in for that group interview knowing there was a drug test and they still failed.
          You will be a literal slave, make no impact, will walk out of it with worse health and nothing to show for it, but if you need work then there's no excuse.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    https://jobs.mchire.com/

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    firm handshake

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lie, do charity work, start at the bottom of the ladder and work your way up, like scraping poo off the walls of McDonald's toilets.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Try casual warehouse jobs. If you're big and strong, other manual labour jobs might be available too. A forklift license might help, though it's a bit of a meme by now. Night shifts at convenience stores and such might work out for a while. Good luck.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This
      Go out of your way to get on at a Union shop

      But anon $15/hr is twice minimum wage. And what else do you expect someone with 0 marketable skills to do. Fuck off.

      This

      Call your local unemployment office and ask to speak with a job placement counselor. Get a pro to assist you, for free.

      Interesting
      Polly hook you up with free training
      Or free forklift cert

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Go look for some contractor who needs labor
    They will hire you for next day

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Knee pads

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Walk into any place of buisness and ask for a job application. Once you fill that out and submit it, they will call you regarding interviews/ shift scheduling, etc.

    Your pepe exudes a certain kind of energy which is reflective of your personality and I can tell that you are going to be just fine. I believe in you OP.

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Call your local unemployment office and ask to speak with a job placement counselor. Get a pro to assist you, for free.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    walk to McDonalds and ask the manager for one.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    in this market you don't
    .t got laid off from my first one and can't find another one despite having a technical degree from Stanford

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don't, take your parent's life savings and rent some NFTs using IQ kek

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that's the most nagger move someone could do

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Fucking kek my sides burn

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        ai post

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No Rakesh I won't buy your bags

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I needed 3 years of experience to get my first job.

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    McDonalds. You'll start tonight.

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Make up a bunch of fake experience on your resume

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Go take some community college classes for some trade or practical skill. Talk to people and the professors while taking a handful of courses. Usually local employers and job fairs come to campus. Talk to them and get your first job and foot in the door. It doesn't matter if it is minimum wage to begin. Just work there for a year and do your time and learn the ropes then hop jobs to make 3x the money you were making.

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I seriously volunteered my time at a much shittier but somewhat (not really) applicable job

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      to elaborate, virtually all counselors and psychologists are a scam. except 1. the career counselor. essentially the deal is companies put their name in with the career counselor hopefully provided to you by your school and for me was mandatory thankfully and in return these companies get the free student labor.

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I went to prison for a bit before I ever had the chance to start a first job and then when I got out and applied nobody wanted to hire me.

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