How do I cope with the fact that the way I feel comfortable dressing (very casual, sweatpants, tech t-shirts, fleeces, barefoot shoes…) gives others…

How do I cope with the fact that the way I feel comfortable dressing (very casual, sweatpants, tech t-shirts, fleeces, barefoot shoes…) gives others a very different impression from the one I’d rather give?
The way I’m coping atm is to wear comfy loafers, high waisted wool pants, knit sweaters and blazers, or sometimes suits, and they also tend to look better on me, but I don’t feel nearly as comfortable as when I dress a lot more casually.
Pic unrelated.

42 thoughts on “How do I cope with the fact that the way I feel comfortable dressing (very casual, sweatpants, tech t-shirts, fleeces, barefoot shoes…) gives others…

  1. Anonymous says:

    If the only consideration is what other people think and not something like:
    -this won’t be appropriate for work
    -this won’t be appropriate for a funeral
    -etc…
    Then you shouldn’t care what others think.
    For example, others make fun of gays. I like being gay, why should I Care what others think?

    • Anonymous says:

      This is overly simplistic.
      It’s impossible not to care what others think if you go outside of your house because you regularly have to interact with people, be it at school, at the office, at the bakery where you get bread, at the park when you bring your children to play while you chat with the other parents, at the bar… and the way they feel about you make them behave differently towards you, so you might, for example, avoid the anti-semitic remarks if it turns out a friend of yours has found himself a latino girlfriend.
      Also you can’t wake up and decide to stop being gay for a month just to see how it goes, while I can choose a different outfit every day.

      why do you need to feel as comfortable as possible all the time? shoot some heroin, youll feel even better.

      I do not, but I hope it’s obvious to you as well that I would like to feel as comfortable as possible as often as possible.
      >shoot some heroin
      I might do that, but it won’t solve the issue at hand.

      How do you cope with people thinking you look like a slob when you dress like a slob? Wtf you sound like a loser.

      Let me put it differently so that even a contrarian stupid should be able to understand.
      Say you go to a bar/club/party looking to heck; you’d obviously dress for the occasion, put on a nice shirt, an expensive (looking) watch, maybe take your fine worsted wool suit to the dry cleaner.
      You find a girl, tell her that the watch you’re wearing is indeed solid gold, heck her, and then be done with her forever.
      That has its upsides, you got your peepee wet, you can boast about it to your friends…, but you had to present an image of yourself that’s quite far from reality to make the girl interested in you enough for her to agree to be hecked, and you can be sure that if you had gone dressed in the way you’d dress for bread shopping she wouldn’t have agreed.
      That annoys me, and that’s what I’m looking for a way to cope with.

      • Anonymous says:

        >That annoys me, and that’s what I’m looking for a way to cope with.
        literally nobody cares
        what do you want? for people to treat you like you’re wearing a full suit while you walk around in crusty old sweatpants
        how hecking stupid are you
        >How do I cope?
        what does that even mean in this context
        find a compromise or find a way to cope psychologically? either way it clearly isn’t happening given your extreme autism

        • Anonymous says:

          >nobody cares
          I care enough to make a thread about it, and you care enough to reply, not once but twice.
          What I want is written right there in my Original Post.
          Coping means dealing with negative feelings; as liberally as the word is used on 4ch the meaning’s the same, I’m looking for some way to either deal with dressing formally enough and being less comfortable or dress less formally and being more comfortable with myself and my outfits despite me being less comfortable because of the impression that I give off.
          >extreme autism
          The name itself refers to the self, the fact that I’m so worried about the way I present myself and the impression that causes should be more than enough to rule out autism.

          pay attention to what people in photos/ tv/ movies wear, and a lot of times youll spot the formal wearers mixed into the crowd. theres really no issue here.

          I have no idea how doing that would help me in any way, are you saying that I should dress more formally but not too much, so that I’d kinda sorta blend in, or that if I dress more formally I’d stick out like a sore thumb?

          I know the feel and i cope by dressing like a total slob when i’m not working.
          I’m literally in pajamas 24/7 (or "homewear") and i’m barefoot unless i have to go grocery shopping (in which case, i wear slides).

          Thanks for the input.

          • Anonymous says:

            >are you saying that I should dress more formally but not too much,
            put your spin on the formal clothes to make it you, so you feel more comfortable.

      • Anonymous says:

        About the people caring,
        I strongly disagree with you. People have Great Strong differences and they shouldn’t give a rats ass about the opinions of others. ONLY do what you like. You shouldn’t even have social interactions with the parents, coworkers, bakers you mentioned if they are willing to shit on you.
        Of course, that being said, there’s also a limit. For example don’t wear a Nazi uniform or a princess dress, that’s like you’re trying to get shitted by others.

        • Anonymous says:

          >you shouldn’t interact with people who don’t have a high opinion of you
          This too is overly simplistic.
          I might need to go to the DMV to have an issue sorted out, regardless of what clueless flyover who dresses like she’s doing an internship at a post office is sitting behind the desk.
          It’s also not as if the impression I give when I dress very casually is so negative that people will mock me and insult me and walk to the other side of the road, part of it is certainly in my head more than anything, but in some situations it’s clear enough that someone prefers thinking I’m an almost homeless bum rather than I’m a perfectly normal person who likes dressing in casual, sporty clothes.

          thats a sick suit

          Thanks.

          >are you saying that I should dress more formally but not too much,
          put your spin on the formal clothes to make it you, so you feel more comfortable.

          That’s what I’m doing right now, and it kinda sorta works as a compromise, but more casual stuff feels like it’s mostly always going to be more "me" than most formal pieces, regardless of the spin.

          https://i.imgur.com/sHGgRPI.jpg

          >Bunch of zoomers typing in their graphic hoodies ITT
          If you want to feel comfortable, get clothes that are better fitting and has high quality material. A suit that fits you should feel like a robe, not uncomfortable at all. If you are wearing polyster slim-fit cheap ass suits, of course it will feel like shit.

          I believe I own 11 suits at the moment, made out of linen, wool and silk blends and fine wool, a handful of them unlined, the rest lined in viscose, cupro or bemberg, some of them half canvas, some full canvas, and most of them fit me at least well, see the picture in my Original Post.
          The best of them isn’t nearly as comfortable as tech sportswear, and if you think even a made to measure suit can be as comfortable as leisure wear your contrarianism is blinding you to reality.
          Suits are one thing, then there are shoes.
          Shoes are, same as everything else, a matter of preference, but let’s not pretend even a pair of light leather moccasins, let alone heeled shoes, can feel even close to a pair of vibram fivefingers or similar stuff, maybe rock shoes, even without the separated fingers.

          • Anonymous says:

            >I might need to go to the DMV

            Do you live in a small rural nearly all white town in the midwest or something? Last time I had to go to the DMV in my big southwestern city full of ugly brown stupids, wearing shoes or a shirt was "getting dressed up" to go to the dmv.

            >part of it is certainly in my head

            110%

            >t’s clear enough that someone prefers thinking I’m an almost homeless bum rather than I’m a perfectly normal person

            Totally over thinking everything especially a place like the DMV. That’s a place you only have to go to every 5 years.

          • Anonymous says:

            I live in the EU, the DVM was just an example of a situation where looking better might be a real advantage.

            Just do what celebrities do. They dress for comfort most of the time, and then when the red carpet rolls out, they go all out and that’s how people remember them.

            That sounds absolutely reasonable if you attend events that put you in the public eye, or even events where you’re supposed to dress formally together with people you know, but on one hand I only go to theaters/concerts/art galleries/… just a few times a year, and rarely with friends, and on the other hand this doesn’t solve the problem of people who don’t come with me to these events getting the impression that I’m a slob since they won’t ever see me in black tie.

            https://i.imgur.com/L2jYZnH.jpg

            >No one dresses like that.
            I dress like that. A lot of guys do. It helps if you’re actually tall, fit, confident, high-earning etc. You’d be amazed how friendly, helpful and flirty everyone is to the top 1% of guys, makes life really enjoyable and easy.

            Dressing like that actually helps more if you’re not tall, fit, confident, high earning etc. because it helps compensate for their lack.
            More to the point, among the people I personally know who earn much more than average I think there’s only one who dresses like that, and the others don’t dress that formally even for the office.
            >the top 1% of guys
            Top 1% in regards to wearing a suit with a tie to the bar/baker/DMV?

            Not that guy, but I never understand this grocery store thing. Why should I go to the grocery store looking like shit? I cringe everytime I see a person wearing pajama pants in there.

            The grocery store is one of those situations in which the impression you make on others is unlikely to change anything about your experience because the only interaction you might have with anyone is going to be with the cashier, so you might as well not make any needless effort to make an impression.

            Wear high quality sweats, tee shirts and fleeces. Very simple. I never thought I would wear a pair of sweatpants outside in till I wore some berlin pants from Rick Owen’s DRKSHDW (not in the heavy cotton version similar to most sweatpants). Zoomers nowadays walk around in pyjamas and crocs from university to the grocery store.

            I appreciate that and I’ll look into it, but most people have a hard time telling the difference between high and low quality clothing, even between a dark day suit and a tuxedo, so I don’t see that making much of a difference.

          • Anonymous says:

            Okay but if you’re comfortable when you dress appropriately for those events, a few times per year, what is the issue? What exactly are the occasions you’re often going to where you think the way you dress comfortably is bad?

      • Anonymous says:

        >avoid the anti-semitic remarks if it turns out a friend of yours has found himself a latino girlfriend.
        What? is this a reference to that bateman scene? "LATINO" girlfriend

  2. Anonymous says:

    pay attention to what people in photos/ tv/ movies wear, and a lot of times youll spot the formal wearers mixed into the crowd. theres really no issue here.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I know the feel and i cope by dressing like a total slob when i’m not working.
    I’m literally in pajamas 24/7 (or "homewear") and i’m barefoot unless i have to go grocery shopping (in which case, i wear slides).

  4. Anonymous says:

    >Bunch of zoomers typing in their graphic hoodies ITT
    If you want to feel comfortable, get clothes that are better fitting and has high quality material. A suit that fits you should feel like a robe, not uncomfortable at all. If you are wearing polyster slim-fit cheap ass suits, of course it will feel like shit.

    • Anonymous says:

      No one dresses like that. Only autistic incels dress formally when going grocery shopping. You stick out like a sore thumb, and you’re nowhere near as handsome as Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Dumb chud.

      • Anonymous says:

        While you’re right that most people don’t dress like that to go out and do daily tasks, in reality they’re usually dressing that way because they are stopping by the store before, after, or on break from their job.

      • Anonymous says:

        >No one dresses like that.
        I dress like that. A lot of guys do. It helps if you’re actually tall, fit, confident, high-earning etc. You’d be amazed how friendly, helpful and flirty everyone is to the top 1% of guys, makes life really enjoyable and easy.

        • Anonymous says:

          >You’d be amazed how friendly, helpful and flirty everyone is to the top 1% of guys

          Yes the top 1% of guys go to the grocery store in a suit. Kek. Also they suit looks cheap and the shirt even cheaper. Nice tie gap.

          • Anonymous says:

            Not that guy, but I never understand this grocery store thing. Why should I go to the grocery store looking like shit? I cringe everytime I see a person wearing pajama pants in there.

          • Anonymous says:

            I’m more curious why you think the only way to not look like shit in the grocery store is to wear a suit. It speaks more to your narrow view of fashion and limited creativity than it does a desire to look good. It’s fairly easy to look good in a variety of clothes. I would seriously question why, if someone was just planning to go to the grocery store and back home, they would choose to put on a suit instead of something like a tee shirt, button down, or sweater, and regular casual pants and shoes.

          • Anonymous says:

            >I would seriously question why, if someone was just planning to go to the grocery store and back home, they would choose to put on clothes they like and present themselves in a way they enjoy. Now put le heckin t-shirt and jeans, chud.
            This is what you sound like.

          • Anonymous says:

            Because there is more to what you wear than what you enjoy. I wouldn’t be interested in wearing a suit everywhere I went because I wouldn’t be interested in buying a new suit if it got damaged or degraded due to constant use. Maybe you’re okay with that, if you really love suits and love shopping for new ones, but I don’t. I guess I didn’t consider that, but I wasn’t sure if that is how you actually feel either.

          • Anonymous says:

            >top 1%
            >3 button jacket

            the suit isn’t cheap because "cheap suit" these days means your standard 2 button, skinny lapelled jacket, so this suit would have to be custom made or second hand

            also
            >le tie gap
            shut the heck up nerd, actual rich people probably just call that sprezzatura and move the heck on with their day

            i might dock him for the lack of tie dimple, but whatever it looks good anyway i’m not some random pedantic cunt who pretends to know what he’s talking about so he can hold it over people
            like most of this board

          • Anonymous says:

            >i’m not some random pedantic cunt who pretends to know what he’s talking about so he can hold it over people
            turbo zased

  5. Anonymous says:

    Ultimately wearing things like formal clothing to work is like wearing a uniform at any other job. It’s to show that you fit in. There is really no other reason. Maybe you could wear more comfortable clothing that is still within the dress code, but your choice is to either meet the dress code, or not, and accept the consequences.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Just do what celebrities do. They dress for comfort most of the time, and then when the red carpet rolls out, they go all out and that’s how people remember them.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Wear high quality sweats, tee shirts and fleeces. Very simple. I never thought I would wear a pair of sweatpants outside in till I wore some berlin pants from Rick Owen’s DRKSHDW (not in the heavy cotton version similar to most sweatpants). Zoomers nowadays walk around in pyjamas and crocs from university to the grocery store.

  8. Anonymous says:

    when you say "feel comfortable" do you mean physically, as in how your clothes fit, or an emotional sense of ease?

    by understanding and buying into what it is about different levels of dress that inspires respect/ease/authority, and allowing it to work for you, you can develop a sense of ease in more formal clothing that matches you in your sweats.

    if it’s about physical comfort, all I can say is learn how your clothes are supposed to fit, chances are you’re tight in some area, and you’ve just decided that all clothes of that type are uncomfortable, rather than get it tailored.

    a suit and tie should not be any more uncomfortable than jeans and a tshirt, if properly fitted.

    if your wool pants arent more comfortable than your sweats, try wearing them with suspenders, hanging things off your body is better than cinching things up.

    • Anonymous says:

      I mean it more in the emotional sense.
      There’s physical comfort too of course, especially when the weather’s hotter, but that’s less of a concern.
      >allowing it to work for you
      Right, then my question should have been, how do I allow more formal pieces of clothing to work for me?
      Because a good portion of what I feel makes casualwear feel better to me is the fact that it’s more easy going, so to speak, that it’s looser.
      At this point I tend to wear more easy going and looser stuff even when I’m going for a more impressive/respectable look, like pleated front wool pants and loose sweaters, unless it’s a really formal occasion, but in a sense to me that defeats the point of more formal stuff like suits, since the reason why they make me look good is that they’re structured, creased and padded in the right places to give me a flattering shape rather than hiding the shape of my body.
      So how would you say I could make more formal stuff to work for me?
      >suit and tie shouldn’t be less comfortable than a t-shirt and jeans
      You should try different t-shirts if they feel like you’re wearing a shirt with a tie; also, the comparison is more with sweatpants than jeans.

      Okay but if you’re comfortable when you dress appropriately for those events, a few times per year, what is the issue? What exactly are the occasions you’re often going to where you think the way you dress comfortably is bad?

      Generally hanging out with people I’m not too familiar with, so for example getting drinks with colleagues since the place I work at basically has no dress code provided that you look presentable.
      Even birthday parties, or whatever celebration a friend invites me to when people might wear anything from sweatpants and gucci t-shirts to full suits.
      When I’m shopping for anything more than groceries, like shoes, or a suit.
      It’s not like the way I feel comfortable dressing is BAD, rather it has the drawback of potentially giving the impression that I’m a slob.

      • Anonymous says:

        again, a properly fitting collar and tie don’t feel like you’re wearing anything, it’s like you’re purposefully misunderstanding me.

        anyway, it could be that you haven’t really developed your own reasons for why you dress the way you do, so "dressing up" feels forced and put on.

  9. Anonymous says:

    >How do I cope with the fact that the way I feel comfortable dressing (very casual, sweatpants, tech t-shirts, fleeces, barefoot shoes…) gives others a very different impression from the one I’d rather give?
    Buddy, you’re a zoomer. You dress like a zoomer. Feeling comfortable is only half the story. You gotta wear sweats if you want to fit in.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m not a zoomer, believe it or not.

      again, a properly fitting collar and tie don’t feel like you’re wearing anything, it’s like you’re purposefully misunderstanding me.

      anyway, it could be that you haven’t really developed your own reasons for why you dress the way you do, so "dressing up" feels forced and put on.

      >you’re purposefully misunderstanding me
      The word you’re looking for is "disagreeing".
      I own a number of shirts that feel plenty comfortable for shirts, but a t-shirt simply feels physically better and less restricting, regardless of how many times you repeat the opposite.
      >you haven’t developed your reasons for dressing in a way or other
      By all means, please share your thoughts on how I might develop my reasons, that might just be what I’m looking for here.

      You dont need to be as physically comfortable as possible all the time. It’s okay.

      See

      You dont need to be as physically comfortable as possible all the time. It’s okay.

      • Anonymous says:

        you listless gay, think for yourself.
        keep in mind that literally no one cares how you feel about your clothes, even if they care about you.

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