How do i convince my bf to become a stoic?
All he does is whine and complain. Everyday is a bad day and he has worse than anyone else. I cant stand listening to it anymore.
How do i convince my bf to become a stoic? All he does is whine and complain.
How do i convince my bf to become a stoic?
Checked. Kill yourself so he has something to contemplate and be stoic in the face of.
I might if I have to listen to him anymore. Like he just trauma dumps on me everyday. Like he never has anything positive to say. Im at work rn and hes texting me and telling me how hes gonna kill himself cause his bike chain broke.
He has no desire to be better he just wants to wallow and suffer
He does not bend over backwards for me, he uses me as a backboard for his emotions and problems. At least if I dated a stoic I would have some piece and quiet
Your spouse is not your therapist. The reason the suicide rate for men is so high is because men refuse to seek help, like actual professional help. I cant sit around and listen to how terrible the world is 24/7
true. i really should seek therapy but i wont.
you should begin to dump him, you cannot fix something like this.
The obvious answer is to break up with him. Trying to change someone never works. The situation will not get better.
ya. the relationship has run its course.
Lmao hes a manbaby
The only way to get manbabies to shut up is with an iron fist . Now that dosent mean you be motherly cause that becomes a mother nagging his child. He needs someone to knock some sense into him. Hell stop crying when slapped hard enough. You should give him a reason to be stoic. Something to break him. You should make him do dishes and if he dosent honestly nagging wont work. Punch him in his stomach.
KEK. too much work
It's the only solution.
Kill yourself and live stream it.
it will be hard, the first thing needed is his desire to become better.
can't help someone who don't want to be helped
Well a man who focuses more on his work and purpose than a woman is usually more stoic than a emotionally reliant homo bent over backwards for you. So, honestly if you want a stoic be fine without attention. Be fine with him being someone
Know your place, be a proper modern woman, and accept male expression of emotion rather than thirsting for your fucking gendies and expecting men to stoic. The expectation of male stoicism is why male suicide rates are so high
KEK. im pretty bad too, you should probably start dumping him
At least you can admit youre bad, he just thinks im the problem because I have started refusing to listen to it and just call him a downer. I have no problem with men crying or anything. Both my dad and step dad were sensitive guys. But I have my limits. Its okay to be sad its okay to vent but like not everything is that bad.
Why wont you go to therapy? Do you feel embarrassed ? It really is helpful. Like just to have someone to talk to without judgment is nice.
But I dont understand. I dont want him to be a stoic just maybe a little more optimistic. I have depression, I tried to kill myself when I was like 9. But I dont let things get to me. Like theres always something to be happy about. He will let a coworker ruin his whole day over the smallest interaction. Like dude chill, its just a person, its not that serious. I had the cops called at my job and I had to deal with that and I just let it go and laughed about it, just due to the lunacy of it. If that was him it would have been a whole ordeal for like a week.
I agree with this anon
too much work. We already joke that im the man in the relationship. I literally watched 50 shades of gray the other day simply because I wanted to be reminded what a man actually acts like.
50 shades of gray is a work of fiction written by a woman. It is notorious for its shitty writing. You are a moron. I will say it again, if you dont like his bitching and think he is a downer, then just leave. Trying to fix him will not work. You are wasting time.
therapy is for weaklings.
but ya, go find yourself a Chad, either in secret or in the open.
You choose him for his looks and height right?
He is 5ft 9inches and balding
Like hes not ugly or anything but hes not some super chad.
I choose him because he was smart and funny. But that doesnt fix being a depressed sack of shit all the time.
Im the one thats been working out and ive tried encouraging him to because it gives you all those good endorphins and just makes you feel really good about yourself.
I try to encourage him to get a different job, go to school, get some sort of licensing so he wont hate his job so much. I buy him whatever he asks me for so he will have things to look forward to.
> 50 shades of gray is a work of fiction written by a woman. It is notorious for its shitty writing.
Yeah no shit
>I try to encourage him to get a different job, go to school, get some sort of licensing so he wont hate his job so much. I buy him whatever he asks me for so he will have things to look forward to.
Well in that case. You seem too sweet for him. Tell him you are tired of being his emotional tampon and if that ends the relationship, good riddance.
I mean give him a chance. He deserves an ultimatum at least.
Say youll wait two weeks and if you come back and he got his shit fixed and he got a job or just something like at least some improvement then youll stay and willing to see him through. Make your own terms and your own times but its an idea
Im very sweet to him, I just am losing my patience. Like I have told him to go to therapy and he gave me some spill on how society looks down a men for going to therapy. Like hun fuck society and what it thinks. This for your own mental sanity. You dont have to tell anyone you go. I just wanna make him happy but it feels like he will never be happy. I make him sweet treats to bring to work so he has like a piece of me and his coworkers will be nice to him. Today I took him to work at 6 in the morning so I only got like 6 hours of sleep for my own job, so he wouldnt have to ask for a ride from anyone. First thing he does is bitch that he has to drive on the way there.
He has a job hes just like not great with money. Like he will buy fast food, vapes, and just other stuff. Then he has his car payment, but I usually pay his insurance. I just want him to be less sad about everything. Like hes always looking at things he doesnt have. A month ago a took him to visit my dad and he treated me like shit and ended up screaming at me cause I asked him to drive. Then blamed it on me cause I made him go with and how its tough to be around my dad cause he doesnt have one. My dad is lovely and always tries to include him.
I dont want a chad, theyre boring. Like they have absolutely nothing to say. I wanna bash their heads in any time I talk to one.
I obviously now that, but its the idea of a strong man who takes care of you. Instead of me having to play mommy. I just wanna be taken care of for once.
How did he manage to ever get a gf unironically?
I was ugly in highschool, I just had a real baby face so at like 16 I looked 12 and I didnt know how to wear makeup or dress cause my mom is a dumb whore. We started dating when I was like 19 and had no confidence. I got attractive in my early early twenties. Like I grew into my face, I still have a baby face and everyone thinks Im 16 but it just isnt as offputting. I dont wear much makeup anymore and just let my natural features take over and got a good haircut. But I still like him because he likes me for me and not cause im hot. Thats why I do my best to make him happy because I do like him and find him interesting. Its just that he can be so sensitive sometimes. :/ I wanna like him for him and all the bad stuff its just really hard. Im not a super emotional person, so its hard to be with someone so emotional
Have you told him your concerns?
My point is that you are using a work of fiction as a reference point for a real man. That is delusional. If you continue down this path then you are going to end up in a loveless relationship just like my parents. It is not worth it. It is clear that you resent his attitude. Trying to shut him down or change his nature will only cause the issue to fester in silence. I can lead a horse to water, but you are hard stuck on changing him and you will not listen. You will waste more time. Be it a couple months, years, or lifetime.
Get a real nigga or stop putting out and tell him to workout then he can plow you as much as he wants
Stoicism doesn't stop you from being miserable, it only makes you hide it. He's just mostly miserable because there is barely anything he is in control of in his life. He needs goals HE chooses.
OP I straight up dont believe youre a woman I think this is bait and until I see evidence otherwise Im not going to engage
If it's bearable, bear it. If it's unbearable, your destruction will come soon.
In other words, tell your boyfriend to do something about the problem or stop complaining. If the problem cannot be fixed and he still complains just hand him a gun and tell him to kill himself. If you're both homosexuals or tranny freaks then you should do it too.
I dont know. I have spent many years "stoic" and many years crying and whining incessantly. He is coping with something bothering him which he doesn't want to talk about with anyone. He probably hates himself too for this. Not saying you should afford any more pity, just saying
Also I just have to take this moment to shit on therapy. Therapy sucks ass unless you have a really good therapist. Saying go to therapy is no guarantee of anything happening ever. It legitimately does nothing if it comes at the wrong time or fails to connect to the patient.
Asking him to workout if he never worked out is probably ineffective. What he should do instead is things he used to do when he was happy. Chances are he's not capable of it, and is specifically lamenting those activities. Part of the reason I snapped out of depression is because my childhood dog died, and it forced me to sob and brood for a whole day, where I suddenly felt feelings of pain and anxiety again which I had suppressed for so long. After that I wanted to live again, for my dog. What would've happened if my dog never died? I don't know. Unresolved trauma and rejection of your own humanity is a bitch. I legitimately can't think of a single way to force a person to experience optimism of their own free will again after they've lost it.
It would astound me if someone anonymously projected thay were my gf and never approached me with a fucking nametag they earned from our masters serving me in life and serving both masters. Women need to listen to the fucking radio or something