I want to make up for the way I acted and the harm I have done to the actual community. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was a trender, and now I have to make up for my wrongdoings.
How do I apologize to the trans community for the damage I have caused by being a trender?
Falling into your wing while paragliding is called 'gift wrapping' and turns you into a dirt torpedo pic.twitter.com/oQFKsVISkI— Mental Videos (@MentalVids) March 15, 2023
ftm trender or mtf trender?
I'm serious guys
Why do you think you've done any harm?
The only way people like you are harmful is when you become angry tranny hating terfs.
If you just transitioned and then detransed that's not hurting anyone in itself.
I never transitioned I just pretended to be ftm for a month or two. I feel so bad as I have multiple trans friends and to think my faking it could have potentially added to hate for them makes me feel bad.
you sound 14 just push it to the back of your brain and never speak of it again
I'm not 14 which makes it worse. I was 19 when
I did this, I'm 20 now. I should have known better yet I still did it.
My friends were really quick to go back to she/her, I know this is bad but I'm really jealous their friends are having trouble calling them she/her again.
>I know this is bad but I'm really jealous their friends are having trouble calling them she/her again
I like he/him pronouns I just do not want to be a man. Reddit says I should defy gender or whatever and be a he/him woman but I am very feminine and it would feel like a mockery to the trans community all over again.
Ever look into being non-binary?
I have. I am not doing the trender shit again though. I am going to wait until I am 100% sure this time.
I see, this sounds very inoffensive as the other anon mentioned. What caused you to be a trender in the first place? Was it a desire to be part of a community? Wanting to be different? Something else?
>it would feel like a mockery to the trans community
Sometimes I feel the same. I wonder if I deserve to call myself part of the community from time to time.
A lot of trenders don't actually like being called he/him because it gives them "gender euphoria" but because it means that their identity is being respected and affirmed. Many butch lesbians also enjoy being called he/him or being mistaken for men, even though they identify as women and technically only use she/her, but if you are feminine I don't see that happening, Just be one of those "any pronouns are fine uwu" mfers. You'll be fine anon
I think you should do 3-5 years of T just to be sure you don't want to be a man. I had a pretty good inkling that I didn't want to be a man when I started at 14, but I didn't actually get on E until I turned 23 and it ruined my body. It's just better to be sure, ya know?
It's fine, chill, as long as you don't act like picrel you haven't caused any damage.
no that sort of faking is harmless, good thing you stopped though.
unless you faked being ftmtf, that whole thing is harmful to trans women (even if it technically maybe valid identity to someone it sadly harms trans women), but if you were just average trender ftm then you did no harm
i never faked detransitioning as there was no transitioning to begin with. Plus I HATE people that blame the whole trans community for their own choices.
Idk like I tricked myself into thinking I had gender dysphoria somehow and decided "oh I'll just test out being ftm". For most people this would not be trending, I do not mean to dissuade anyone from testing out certain identities, but I really was trending because one day I realized I hated only dressing masc and worrying about how masc I looked and all this shit and that I never truly had gender dysphoria. I was just trending. Like I just feel really bad and know being trans can't be switched off like that.
>Idk like I tricked myself into thinking I had gender dysphoria
The worry that I might have memed myself into thinking that I have gender dysphoria is my reason for repressing during the past decade.
Anyway, you seem like a nice person. You do not need to apologize for anything. It is only natural to want to learn more about your own self.
Are you male, anon? You're probably for real trans if so.
I think people like OP get into the ftm meme less because they want to be male and more because they don't like being objectified as women.
Yeah, I am
I personally have wondered if my distaste for masculinity and the expectations that are placed on me are the underlying reason underneath of my gender dysphoria.
No but like I genuinely never felt anything like GD until like randomly when I was 19. And then it stopped. I am the outlier. But anyway, thank you so much, that is sweet.
OHHHHHH. That's actually really fucked up.
Yeah, something I started to notice as a guy who comes here to jerk off to the mtf trannies. There seem to be at least some self-identified ftms who just sound like they're reacting to misogyny / the way women are treated like they aren't really people.
Which isn't really a trans thing so much as a "not wanting to be treated like shit for being born female" thing.
Yes, like 99% of trender (non-trans) FtMs use transition to escape being sexualized (in cases where physical body/genital dysphoria exists, it is actually aversice trauma reaction from sexual abuse), it is a well known phenomenon and trans healthcare should recognize it instead of limiting healthcare for any kind of trans people. It would not be that hard to filter such people, but since the real push on "anti-trenderism" seems to be TERFs and conservatives they don't care about whether innocent people (be they trenders who ruined themselves or real trans people left without healthcare) suffer, but that being trans is ultimately banned.
I don't experience misogyny but I hate the way my body attracts attention from men, oftentimes twice my age (not like it even makes a difference). I mean I apparently can't be mad at them for trying, but god it makes me feel so gross. But to be fair when I thought I had gender dysphoria that wasn't even on my mind.
Are you saying your gender dysphoria did not come from misogyny (note that sexism like "wanted to be man because men are better" kinda also counts) and desire to escape sexualization?
Where did it come from then? This is kind of interesting. Your input could save future trenders from harming yourself, so if you want to use your experience as ex-trender to help people to you should tell us what made you do so?
I don't want to keep lying, it's going to possibly hurt actual trans people and prevent them from transitioning. I probably didn't trend, I was just unsure of my gender and tried out being ftm. But I feel guilty and like a liar because I had literally no signs of being trans whatsoever yet I felt the need to ask people to support my questioning. I feel gross. I want to find a way to make it up to the trans community.
It slowly built up for a couple months then it hit me right before I tested it out. I made a huge folder of ftm resources, full of all sorts of egg-y questions, I still am adding to it even though I'll never use it. It started with me wanting a bigger clit, then it turned into me wanting a penis, then it turned into me wanting to be a man, then me realizing being a man would not make me happier as I felt I was holding myself back trying to pass. In a perfect world, I would have a thin twink body, use he/him pronouns, and have a dick. But this isn't a perfect world and I will never have this.
>In a perfect world, I would have a thin twink body, use he/him pronouns, and have a dick. But this isn't a perfect world and I will never have this.
Umm, sorry, but you sound very real trans and maybe it would be better if you continue. The dysphoria is not going to go away. You may not feel it now, but it's like to bite back.
Unless you can vision perfect version of yourself that is all female without a dick, but can you?
>>In a perfect world, I would have a thin twink body, use he/him pronouns, and have a dick.
Im amab and I want this as well, so I started taking E
Am I a trender?
You sound like just HRT femboy which would be like outside trans spectrum except you're kinda trans because you take esteogen. A non-binary as they say on reddit.
But what is trender is someone who becomes trans just cause it's trendy without being really transsexual, so you're not a trender. Though in reality it's bit laughable concept as you don't really see regretting detransitioners claiming much that they did it because it was trendy, but had other reasons.
I am not trans. I have zero desire to be a man or any other gender. I can never get my dream body because if I take T then I have to take a million other meds to counteract the other effects I don't want. I don't even have dysphoria, it really only happens the week before and during my period and then I'm fine.
So it's kinda like people are listening to them about their identity, not that they like the pronouns? Is that a good summary/rewording of what you said? And if I was butch or even a feminine enby I might use he/him but I'm a feminine cis woman so like...
Also there is no point in saying "any pronouns" because nobody is gonna use he/him, just she/her (meh) and they/them MAYBE if I'm lucky (i would hate that though).
This makes me feel weird.
Idk I am not trans so my opinion on this doesn't matter but in my mind I don't think so
>I don't even have dysphoria, it really only happens the week before and during my period and then I'm fine.
That's interesting, around that time is when your estrogen levels would be at their lowest. It's possible you do have dysphoria but higher estrogen levels normally suppress it. Are you on any kind of estrogen based birth control? If you actually don't want to to through with this you could try seeing if that gets rid of these feelings I guess.
Interwesting new evidence on feelings and identitity on gender being possibly more fluid in AFABs than AMABs. Dr. Powers also has experienced this and has treated succesfully some would be FtMs with T-blockers.
There is also the case of East German athlete who was turned FtM from given testosterone as child for doping.
There's a much simpler explanation that you're missing:
Those are the weeks where a lot of people get physical pain/symptoms, on top of the actual bleeding
being in pain from your reproductive system tends to make people hate it
many women make comments about cutting their uterus out, or wishing they were born male, at this time. it's normal.
I heard it can cause weight gain (idk if it encourages fat production or u just get hungrier but I am already obese) plus I don't want more estrogen in my body, idk why it just makes me uncomfortable knowing it would boost my estrogen. It makes me cringe. I know I keep making excuses, I probably should just bite the bullet and take birth control.
>but the people threatening all of us for completely harmless behavior
Like grouping people together when a few trans people or even trenders does something weird and that causing violence or hate? Or did I misunderstand.
Thanks for sharing your story. I actually agree, I'm even happy I was born a woman because I may have ended up really different otherwise. I think it's dumb they got angry, objectively both men and women face hardships and it's immature to think all women experience the same stuff and men just have it easy. Unless I'm misunderstanding.
I don't have cramps or any physical symptoms, just gross blood and emotional distress. I do want my uterus gone though, but I don't want menopause which is a horrible dilemma. No periods and not being able to get pregnant (not that I even have sex) would be awesome but after seeing how menopause affects women it makes me scared.
>I don't have cramps or any physical symptoms, just gross blood and emotional distress.
Wow you're literally just like me.
>I do want my uterus gone though, but I don't want menopause which is a horrible dilemma.
Menopause is the absense of hormones so if you took exogenous E OR T you should be fine. My main worry with getting a hysto is the potential for prolapse in later years. (I don't think I could do bottom surgery and the idea of having a vaginectomy/just leaving a gaping empty spot where it used to be is also really gross to me)
>Wow you're literally just like me
Dude I literally feel so out of placed with period talk bc all my AFAB friends are like "OMG IT FEELS LIKE A DRAGON IS CLAWING OUT MY ABDOMEN" and I'm like (o _ o)
I was under the impression it wasn't gaping but I could be wrong. Also prolapse?? Wtf nobody ever talks about that, that's so weird. So like the cervix is gone I thought and it's all sewn up I thought so where does it prolapse?
I'm like the opposite of a trender by that definition. Well, sometimes I want someone to say "oh, you're trans!" just to end the confusion but then when someone DOES I like look for every possible reason for me not to be, I even have some default things I cling to in order to disprove it. Also you're right, I have to decide for myself whether or not to transition in the end.
My mom had hysterectomy (without removal of ovaries) after birthing me which was in her 30s, she now is in her 70s and has had not any problems. Uses vaginal estrogen to maintain her vagina though, but she started that like 10 years ago, so most of her life she didn't need HRT.
I have not heard late life complications being common in hysterectomy. Can it really cause vaginal prolapse?
Yeah that sounds scary 🙁
and yes, basically what you said. See the ftms on twitter saying that they want to be called worm/crow/princeself or whatever... there is no way to get gender euphoria from being called wormself because worm isn't a gender. The only reason they feel happy when someone uses those pronouns is because their identity is being affirmed, essentially they are being told they're valid, and shown respect. It might be similar with you, that you have aap feelings but no dysphoria, so being called he/him might affirm that small part of you that desires being male, but you are not actually experiencing gender euphoria. Trenders will also often look for any sign of being trans that they can find, to prove to themselves that they are real. Either way, only you can know whether transitioning is worth it. I don't care if trenders transition, if it makes them feel better.
Wow you sound like me when I was repping on and off for years
My genuine advice as this sounds like you may be repressing is to just try testosterone for less than a month. All my doubts vanished as soon as I started taking T. Obviously don't force yourself but I think it may help you.
I want to lose weight first. My mom convinced me it's only because I'm fat now and I want to do "extreme things" (i forget her exact wording) to make myself feel better about myself.
I know I do, this is nothing new. I also have AGP.
Fucking kek, you have aap.
This is something that's always confused me. I'm FtM and I don't think I've ever experienced misogyny, at least not directly. I'd even argue that, considering the type of person I am, my life would have been worse if I was born male. My male friends growing up who acted like me (autists) got pretty badly beaten up whereas I was just verbally bullied.
The few times I've brought this up to women they get actually angry at me for some reason. which is frustrating because I'm not trying to deny their experiences, just stating my own.
Maybe part of this is because I was never considered attractive as a woman so I never had to deal with harassment and was basically grateful for any attention I got.
This is also very petty but some of the misogyny I see terfs/radfems claim "causes their dysphoria" is kind of a skill issue/.
"People never listen to what I have to say and talk over me" "People think I'm a harpy/abraisive" "Men don't treat me as well as women they want to fuck"
they say this while having an online presence that is just alternating between complaining and bullying trans women/telling them to kys. It's like, I was born with a vagene and have never experienced any of this. Maybe people react negatively to you because your personality and attitude are just genuinely rancid lol
I can confirm that skill issue as a passing trans. I notice that I'm treated by default to be lesser than man, but if I can do something as well as men can or be better than them, then I seem to be easily able to gain male privilege. And to be honest from pre-transition experience that unlike female privilege which depends highly on look, make privilege must be always earned and is not default even to cis males.
Unironically that sort of sexism has been mostly blessing to me (does make me feel bad to say it like this though lol) as I am little intellectually and mildly physically disabled and not good at many things it's nice people don't expect too much from me lmao.
Nah, you are fine. Don't worry, everyone makes mistakes some times.
But by FtMtF I mean FtMs pretending to be trans women which in 99% cases is connected online prostitution and porn where it's used as marketing tactic by such people. It is very sad and harmful phenomenon. And also harmful towards those FtMs who truly feel need to express themselves as feminine by crossdressing and such as they really can't even exist without sadly contributing to that ugly deplorable phenomenon.
Nigga you bpd or something? This reads like some weird form of seeking self punishment. You acted cringe in your past? It's not a big deal. You are not responsible for other people's issues.
ok let me impregnate you and we'll call it even
on your knees and suck on my enlarged clitoris
paypal me 50$ and become my e foot slave
I honest don’t care
by not becoming a right wing funded grifter trying to get hrt taken from actual trans men
I would never do that.
I'd advocate for that. Ftm have it way easier than mtfs and we could use less ftms because 90% of them are tik tok trenders that deserve no access to hrt.
whats it like being so full of horseshit?
You sound like a very inoffensive trender tbhon
ur fine, just be aware
gaia loves those free of malace
you can help out homeless people
kneel and send me tree fiddy
I don't care about people who are "trending" or desisting or detransitioning or whatever, because I can attribute blame correctly. The problem is not teenagers trying things out or anyone having a hard time figuring where they fit into this syste, but the people threatening all of us for completely harmless behavior.
Watching people turn on each other over this is like some Stockholm Syndrome farce where all the hostages start punching each other for not being presentable and nice enough to the very chill and reasonable kidnappers so they'll let them go. it's immensely frustrating.
spread truscum awareness. emphasize the difference between the rogd/trenders and the actual trans men and women with real, lifelong gender dysphoria
1. Gather materials such as papers and documents on transgender research, science, pseudoscience, beliefs, traditions, culture, etc.
2. Plan out a 60 minute YouTube video
3. Make that video's topic trying to prove the following thesis:
- Is transgenderism mental or physical?
- Should AGP encourage or discourage transition?
- If transgenderism IS a real non-strictily-mental phenomenon, should we use HRT as a legitimate treatment?
- Compare why it works for some & doesn't work for others.
In short, become a scientific researcher on transgenderism. Only that way we will truly be guided towards light. Also share some documents so that we may read them and understand the nature of our being more clearly.
It's okay, anon, the vast majority of troons are on it for the validation/attention bandwagon, or simply using it as a cope for explaining why they're definitely-not-gay-I'm-just-a-woman-craving-cock
No need to feel bad
By continuing to transition
Nah, hesitant mtfs should be bullied into continuing since getting more girls to look at or potentially hook up with is a public service for everyone else regardless of if they're really trans or not, but if a girl doesn't want to ftm transition that's more of a lucky thing that she doesn't. If someone needs to gender transition to male then that's just how it is and can't be helped, but certainly none of those girls who are trenders and aren't really ftm should be pressured to do that to themselves.
Testosterone isn't really a great idea even for most regular men and tends to just turns you into a balding LULZ fag. Like chemo for cancer it should only be used when someone really has no other options to survive and is true ftm since that doesn't have benefits outside of treating real dysphoria.
Even for some actual ftms I tend to think they'd be better off staying on a very low dose and just shaving and being slightly more masculine girls instead of going full-pooner (especially since most of them end up bottoming for cis men anyway), although again I recognize some people might really have no choice in order to live and feel comfortable with themselves.