I reside in a country where military conscription over a period of 2 years, is mandatory. However, I have absolutely zero intentions of service le government. As a result, I've come to the conclusion that the only way to evade this mandatory conscription, would be to fake my mental well-being to convince the enlistment officers that I'm unfit for service. Any other ideas? I really really do NOT want to serve in the army.
>I don't want to die in combat because I'm sad and stuff lol
Gotta do better than depression
Like what? Cut myself? I mean,I guess I could do that. After cutting myself, I could book an appointment with a psychiatrist and pretend to make a fake attempt to hide my cuts in front of the psychiatrist. But it will be painful >:(
>I don't wanna get hurt
lmao go the army then
High amounts of CDP Choline induces heavy depression. I guess I could use psilocybin to remedy the effects of depression after the charade is over. I guess it won't be technically considered a charade since I'll be actually going through depression.
Why did you make a thread if you had a solution in the first place?
Looking for alternatives
Break your arm.
By googling the symptoms of depression, reading them and mimicking them to the best of your abilities.
Would be better if picrel was barefoot
Agreed
Buy a bunch of sleeping pills and alcohol, write a suicide note, then call your country's emergency number and say you're suicidal. You don't even have to take the stuff, its just "evidence"
You'll spend a few days to a week in the psyche ward, it'll suck, but it's 1 week vs 2 years in the military. Once the hospitalization is on your record, it should be enough to present to the military as a disqualifier
western europe or finland? Just mimick someone who might shoot up the place. Any other country. Idk if depression is enough.
Singapore
damn anon, you're fucked, I don't think it's worth to renounce your citizenship or break your spine over that. Try to go to the IT military department or some other fat boy section.
Become an Army Nurse/Medic.
Or Communications.
Just do your military service. It will be good for you in the long run, but it's hard to see that now.
It's two years, probably some shithole like Russia or South Korea where conscripts get raped and used as drug mules
then depression wouldn't be enough to get out of it, but the homosexual OP is he won't really tell us anyway.
I'm not a homosexual >:(
No enlistment officer is going to take your pretend depression seriously without a history of psychological and medical treatment. They get a bunch of people just like you who try to evade conscription. Thmhp
>he doesn't know that poop + pee = no draft for me
>How can I feign depression?
Armies are wise to "anon is scared of potential boo-boos, so he's gonna pretend he's sad". You need to do better than that.
When you want to claim that you're EG a conscientious objector or depressed, they're going to be looking for high-commitment and hard-to-fake signals indicating as such. For conscientious objectors, this will mean they look for stuff prior to the draft, things like
>a persistent record over time of attending anti-war protests
>public and visible political advocacy for antiwar candidates
>regular attendance at churches, and being known to the ministers or priests at a church where the church is explicitly anti-war
>registered membership in anti-war groups with a history of donations
>an absence of weapons in the home and
>Physical presentation indicating liberal and peace-focused ideologies (IE "yeah this guy looks like a religious hippie.")
And for depression, they're going to be looking for similar high-commitment and hard-to-fake signals, including
>Persistent inability to thrive in society, including evictions, firings and inability to hold down a job, and visible absence of a public social life
>Medically documented drug addiction, porn addiction, or other coping mechanism indicating an unhealthy state of mind
>Previous failed suicide attempts that ended in hospitalization
>Visible signs of prolonged self-harm
>Prior psychiatric commitment in a state institution
>An ongoing and sustained relationship with a psychiatrist, who has prescribed psychiatric medication
>Physical presentation indicating slovenly, abnormal demeanor (IE "yeah this guy lives in a shithole, looks like shit, smells like shit, and in general looks like a depressed greaseball fuckup.")
>Prior and hard-to-fake life circumstances that would be liable to cause depression, such as the death of one's child, or a brutal divorce
Point is, pretty much unless you actually are genuinely depressed, you're probably getting conscripted.
There have been a few cases of Jehovah's witness members refusing conscription. In the end, they were jailed for the same period of their national service.
free neetrent and neetfood instead of service le government. Not a bad deal
Shit your pants in front of the recruiter. Repeatedly, on different days.
But really, just do the fucking service you worm.
>I really really do NOT want to serve in the army.
Why not? I mean specifically. I saw in another post you’re from Singapore, so it’s not like you’re going to be thrown into combat or something like that. If everybody had to do it, why not you?
I'd imagine Singapore is another Russia/South Korea tier shithole where conscripts are brutally hazed and raped. And nobody should be forced to serve in the military if they don't want to, it'sa form of slavery and the UN needs to abolish it like they did with chattel slavery.
One Korean wanker managed to avoid military service by seeking political asylum in France.
>https://thediplomat.com/2015/05/a-korean-conscientious-objector-in-paris/
If one really wants to avoid military service, one should exhaust all possible options first before considering unconventional options.
Is there a conscientious objector exemption?
>Any other ideas? I really really do NOT want to serve in the army.
Make a neklace made out of sheep testicles
Can you defer by going to college ?
Move slow, spew pessimistic garbage, talk about suicide, cut yourself, post on LULZ.