How Christians say history happened:
>God sat around for infinite time smelling his own farts
>"I got it! I'll create another realm with other beings for some reason!"
>Creates the Universe and Earth in 6 days
>Creates low IQ animals that do nothing but eat and shit for some reason
>Proofs human race into existence out of dust 6,000 years ago
>They eat the magic fruit and God curses the whole Universe gets cursed
>God floods the entire Earth to kill all humans except 8 (and all evil animals)
>Didn't work because he forgot to lift the curse, so humans go back to being sinful
>"I got it! I'll send myself as a sacrifice to myself to lift the curse! Brilliant!"
>It worked. It actually fucking worked. The human race is saved.
>2,000 years of suffering and death continue as if nothing changed
>God is nowhere to be found
>World is on the brink of nuclear war and humans about to go extinct
How history really happened:
>Universe emerged from the unknown
>Expanded over 13.7 billion years
>Particles formed hydrogen atoms, which formed stars, which exploded and formed new elements, which formed asteroids, which formed planets, of which 1 of the hundred trillion planets formed animated self-replicating matter called life by random chance
>Life evolved through the process of natural selection over 4 billion years from simple cell to complex multi-cell organisms
>Struggle, competition, war, suffering and death present from the very beginning
>Ape-like creatures evolved into modern humans
>Humans created civilization, language, writing, religion and technology
>Humans still carry in them all the primitive animalistic traits and instincts of their ancestors, which causes suffering
>No God was ever involved in any step of the process