Hey guys so i just found some notes i made a few years ago and wanted your input?

This is when i had a crush on this guy.

This is the note:

Said I seem like I try too hard for people to like me, I seem like a doormat, care too much about what people think- when I try digging for details he never comes up with why or anything

Said I’m different and weird but not in the same way as the other people he hangs out with

Said I am damaged/seem damaged

I’m fine with just chilling with his cat, but he’s high right now so he’ll be bored when he comes down so that’s why he wants to hang out

I asked him why are u even asking me to hangout then and he said he’s just asking to be polite

If all girls were like you I’d be gay

Ghosted me after lying to me so he could get what he wants, told me it doesn’t matter what I think when I told him how I saw him

Said he thinks I’m a slut cause why else would I be meeting guys off reddit, and I wanted to go on a date

Said he’s talking to me cause he thinks there’s the potential to enjoy talking to me

Does anyone have any insight or thoughts about this stuff? Like should i just kms

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    damn this is some dark shit

    i used to have a diary but ever since my mom 'found it lying down' i stopped writing

    and then i realized i didn't care that much about what others thought of me as i didn't have to fill a diary/ notebook.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Wtf does this mean… should i kill myself unironically

      Can You explain what u mean by it

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Like I have issues with men so I’m hoping to get some insight from this

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What kind of bait is this? A diary from years ago?
    Tell me about your life NOW, girl.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Well you're a woman and left out the shit that matters. Your level of attractiveness, age, and race. If you're White and above 16 and you're still like this then its over. If you're non white and aged above 12 and you're still like that then it's over.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    he said this shit to your face? god damn.

    there is no insight to be gained from this note except that guy is an asshole.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well most of it was over the phone but yeah we hung out a bunch too. I think he said the damaged thing in person.

      Just because he’s an asshole doesn’t mean he’s not right though?

      Just move on? Nothing really matters, so why worry about old notes and hurt from years ago?

      Because I feel like there must be some truth to what he is saying.

      What kind of bait is this? A diary from years ago?
      Tell me about your life NOW, girl.

      I haven’t changed all that much

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        even if it's all true then so what? it's all just his opinion. other people won't feel the same way.

        it's like asking someone who hates you to describe your personality: there's nothing to be gained from this.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >it's like asking someone who hates you to describe your personality: there's nothing to be gained from this.

          Wise and based.
          I worked retail for years. Cunts would come in and treat me like shit all the time, and when I was younger it used to hurt a lot. It left real marks that affected me in other areas of my life. But one day I finally realised how little meaning their words actually had.
          I mean, if my life were ever so dim and sad that I'd abuse some poor teenage girl at the register of a shop, I KNOW I'm in no place to insult anyone else lmao. So why should she ever take my bullshit seriously? I'm nothing? I'm insane.

          OP, treat this fag like a shitty customer. He must legitimately be the biggest cunt on the planet, or the most insane piece of shit to treat ANYONE like this. Are you gonna let a piece of shit call YOU a piece of shit? He hasn't got a fucking leg to stand on lol. You don't act like that. You are better. Shit in his shoes and fuck his dad and walk outta there.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Ok but he actually knows me and stuff so he has valid points. And he means what he says.

            I just don’t know why he does it

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            “Don’t take criticism from anyone that you wouldn’t seek advice from.”

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Well more than one person has treated me like this and I have issues with men so it’s obviously something wrong with me.

          He's a cunt and he is abusing you. There's NOTHING else to be gleaned from this.

          You've been the perfect victim. It doesn't matter what awful shit he says/does to you - you keep crawling back. You keep validating the bullshit he says to you. You keep acknowledging him as 'right' when he's obviously off his fucking rocker. You keep hanging out with him, even though he treats you like shit.

          Why? He is so BENEATH you. Cunts like this are subhuman. They try to drag you down and hurt you because that's the only pleasure they're capable of gleaning from life. Don't let him drag you down. And I say 'down' because he really is far, far, far beneath you. You are better than him. You are better than this.

          You want some advice?
          Block him on everything. Block his friends. Block anyone who treats you this way. Cut ALL contact - not just some of it. Change your number if you need to. I don't care if that means you have no contact with people IRL. It's better to be alone than to feel lonely and unwanted when you're with someone. You feel me?
          I want you to do it right now. Block him before you even type another response. Do it. Now.

          Now I want you to call someone that you actually feel loved by. Call your mum or your grandfather or your friend. Have a little chat, and remind yourself that you aren't alone.

          If you really can't think of anyone who cares about you, reread this message, idiot. I'm typing this. I care. Everyone else here seems to care, too. We wouldn't be on this shitty board if we didn't.

          Lastly, I say this with respect and love - get a fucking therapist, babe. You're gonna need one if you want to break out of this cycle. I know it's a meme that therapy sucks (it often does), but it can also help so much (it certainly helped me when I was in a similar situation).

          You got this. You can kick that cunt to the curb, and you can live a happy life surrounded by people that really love you. But it has to start NOW. If you haven't blocked him yet, do it now.

          Thank you but I’m just not convinced he is beneath me. I haven’t talked to him in a long time I ended up slowly distancing myself although it was painful.

          I feel like I did something to deserve being treated that way, maybe he thinks I am ugly or annoying or something else.

          He's a cunt and he is abusing you. There's NOTHING else to be gleaned from this.

          You've been the perfect victim. It doesn't matter what awful shit he says/does to you - you keep crawling back. You keep validating the bullshit he says to you. You keep acknowledging him as 'right' when he's obviously off his fucking rocker. You keep hanging out with him, even though he treats you like shit.

          Why? He is so BENEATH you. Cunts like this are subhuman. They try to drag you down and hurt you because that's the only pleasure they're capable of gleaning from life. Don't let him drag you down. And I say 'down' because he really is far, far, far beneath you. You are better than him. You are better than this.

          You want some advice?
          Block him on everything. Block his friends. Block anyone who treats you this way. Cut ALL contact - not just some of it. Change your number if you need to. I don't care if that means you have no contact with people IRL. It's better to be alone than to feel lonely and unwanted when you're with someone. You feel me?
          I want you to do it right now. Block him before you even type another response. Do it. Now.

          Now I want you to call someone that you actually feel loved by. Call your mum or your grandfather or your friend. Have a little chat, and remind yourself that you aren't alone.

          If you really can't think of anyone who cares about you, reread this message, idiot. I'm typing this. I care. Everyone else here seems to care, too. We wouldn't be on this shitty board if we didn't.

          Lastly, I say this with respect and love - get a fucking therapist, babe. You're gonna need one if you want to break out of this cycle. I know it's a meme that therapy sucks (it often does), but it can also help so much (it certainly helped me when I was in a similar situation).

          You got this. You can kick that cunt to the curb, and you can live a happy life surrounded by people that really love you. But it has to start NOW. If you haven't blocked him yet, do it now.

          I have issues making friends so whenever I do meet someone who gives me attention it’s hard for me to leave

          He is right that I am broken there’s nothing wrong with what he said I just don’t know how to deal with it

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It's not something wrong with you. It one THOUSAND percent is not an issue with you. It's an issue with these awful people. Abusers tend to sniff out easy victims very quickly. If you are young or if you're a people pleaser or if you seem shy or insecure, they'll hurt you because they know they can. But that doesn't mean you'll always be an easy victim. You can break out of this. And fuck yeah! You already ARE breaking out of this! You're talking about it. You're distancing yourself. It sounds like you're currently doing all the right things. 🙂 Good on you.

            Ah, we all have issues making friends lol. That's why we're on LULZ. But you'll make new friends. I guarantee that having a dickhead like that in your life is holding you back. Once he's gone, and you've had time to heal, friendships will get easier.

            Ok but he actually knows me and stuff so he has valid points. And he means what he says.

            I just don’t know why he does it

            Yeah, he does know you. He knows how to HURT you. The Devil can see into your soul and he crafts lies to fuck with your mind. Think of this guy as the devil. He knows you. He knows you're not actually worthless. He just sees you as worthless because (and I reiterate) HE'S A CUNT. He's genuinely broken.
            I hope you know that I'm sitting in my bedroom at 1am typing this and I am looking down, down, DOWN on that homosexual right now. You could tell me that he's cured cancer, and I still wouldn't think highly of him. You, on the other hand, I do NOT look down on. You're going through some shit. You're dealing with a cunt. He's dragging you down. But YOU aren't the problem here.

            >I just don't know why he does it
            Why does my schizo neighbour screech at 3am about the moon spying on him? It's truly a mystery lol.
            Some people are just broken. Some people are born 'broken'. Some people go through shit that breaks them as they grow up. And sometimes that 'break' results in them being massive cunts. But I assure you that there is no good reason for the way he treats you.

            I'm very proud of you for starting to pull away from him. For real.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Thanks but this doesn’t really help for some reason. I’m not sure why no one is acknowledging the fact he could be right.

              Maybe it’s not nice or right to say those things but maybe he has a point.

              That person is a jackass. There are basically no situations where it’s appropriate to talk to someone like that. Most people that do are talking more about themselves than you.

              “Don’t take criticism from anyone that you wouldn’t seek advice from.”

              I would seek advice for him on other stuff though cause he’s pretty smart i think

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I will hunt you down and physically beat this information into you. HE. IS. NOT. RIGHT.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            > it’s obviously something wrong with me.
            The only thing wrong with you is thinking there is something wrong with you.
            I’m guessing one of your parents is like this so you’ve come out thinking this is a normal way to be spoken to. It isn’t. If someone directly insults you to any serious degree unprompted your time of knowing them is over.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Well there’s people that make me feel equally shit without them specifically saying direct verbal insults, how is that any different?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        > Because I feel like there must be some truth to what he is saying.
        Nothing here is even falsifiable. Avoid people that talk about people this way. They get a lot more dangerous than just being mean.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Because I feel like there must be some truth to what he is saying.
        Ok let's analyze what he is saying..

        https://i.imgur.com/dycI8IA.jpg

        This is when i had a crush on this guy.

        This is the note:

        Said I seem like I try too hard for people to like me, I seem like a doormat, care too much about what people think- when I try digging for details he never comes up with why or anything

        Said I’m different and weird but not in the same way as the other people he hangs out with

        Said I am damaged/seem damaged

        I’m fine with just chilling with his cat, but he’s high right now so he’ll be bored when he comes down so that’s why he wants to hang out

        I asked him why are u even asking me to hangout then and he said he’s just asking to be polite

        If all girls were like you I’d be gay

        Ghosted me after lying to me so he could get what he wants, told me it doesn’t matter what I think when I told him how I saw him

        Said he thinks I’m a slut cause why else would I be meeting guys off reddit, and I wanted to go on a date

        Said he’s talking to me cause he thinks there’s the potential to enjoy talking to me

        Does anyone have any insight or thoughts about this stuff? Like should i just kms

        >Said I seem like I try too hard for people to like me, I seem like a doormat, care too much about what people think- when I try digging for details he never comes up with why or anything
        He had nothing to back it up with, so this comment can be ignored. If you do want to analyze it however it comes across as victim blaming. He's blaming you for being the doormat and not himself for walking all over you. Victim blaming is not ok.

        >Said he thinks I’m a slut cause why else would I be meeting guys off reddit
        If he makes you out to be a slut he can justify using you. It has everything to do with him trying to justify his wrong doings and nothing to do with how you actually are.

        Oh yeah now that I’m remembering, he said I’m “okay” to talk to.

        He also “left me” for another girl when he moved a bit farther away for coop, so that he could have sex with her. He said “it’s not technically cheating cause we were never really together and any 20 something year old guy would do that”

        Yeah we never had a relationship title but we talked on the phone for hours almost every day, and I was his closest friend other than his best friend and we were really close and etc.

        >he said I’m “okay” to talk to.
        >we talked on the phone for hours almost every day
        He's a hypocrite and a fool.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Okay here is another example of something another guy did from my notes too:

          I can’t describe to you the feeling of hanging out at someone’s place, them trying to kiss you and stuff, you moving away, and then literally picking you up and putting you in front of the door, saying they’re going to kick you out cause you’re “playing games” and “I don’t want someone to be in my house if they’re not gonna spend time with me” and then I say no I do want to spend time with you! And him literally pushing me out and closing the door in my face. Then I’m left all alone... and he made it very clear that it’s because I don’t want to have sex with him

          (Also it was the middle of winter but there were shops etc nearby I guess)

          I just don’t understand am i really that bad that everyone like this is drawn to me, and I find it hard to believe they’d treat any girl like this there must be something about me in specific that makes them act this way

          My thoughts as a guy are that you need to stop hanging out with tools. Especially r*dditors.

          How else am i supposed to meet anyone though if i don’t have friends

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Okay, listen up. You NEED to be more careful about the guys you're interacting with. These two guys are both dipshits. The second guy is even worse. I say this as a guy, you can absolutely find better guys. You say you don't have friends and can't find any. Sign up for some local activities or clubs. This is super easy if you're in school. Or check out local churches. My church is always having activities for singles and everyone is incredibly welcoming and nice. I've met lots of great girls, my current interest too.

            Please stop looking for people online. You don't need to, and you're apparently looking in all the wrong places.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              There aren’t any local activities I’ve tried looking, other than the gym but that’s filled with shallow people and jerks.

              The church that’s my denomination is closed unfortunately, and I am kind of socially stunted so I don’t do well in those types of situations.

              I guess that’s my only bet.

              I’m no longer in university so it’s hard to meet people. Even when I tried joining university groups I didn’t have any better luck really.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                There are no book reading clubs? Holiday events? Halloween is coming up, there's gotta be something right? I'd love to meet a girl at something like that so you could try looking for something like that if you're into it. I really wish there was something I could tell you to fix your problems. Some magic phrase that would solve your problems, but I don't have that knowledge.
                When you say you're church is closed do you mean permanently or temporarily? I think if it's still an option you should really try. Even just to practice. And if that's too much, start by practicing greeting every person you see while going on walks or whatever. Trust me, I'm no social butterfly by any stretch of the imagination, but I got a lot better over time by practicing. And you might find friends too doing this.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                There honestly aren’t, and the ones that do exist are for old people.

                The church is permanently closed it seems. There is no way of contacting them, they don’t have hours on Google, no one is ever there and their website was last updated 10 years ago.

                Ok, this might be a bit insensitive since it's rude to lump people in categories but,.. you need to find other types of guys, so feel free to make a list of what these 'shitty guys' have in common and filter against it next time. For example are there pleasant people out there with knuckle tattoos, perhaps. Is it your duty to find them, nope.

                Just for your own sake feel free to ignore insecure tough looking men for a while. Is it unfair to friendly insecure guys who are putting up a cover, so be it.

                Anything else they have in common, can now serve as a red flag.

                What did they look and act like even before any wrongdoings?

                And if you end up having to date a guy who is not your type, suck it up, give it a try.

                I mean what they have in common is that they’re the only men interested in me or show interest in me. Also another thing I would say is they usually are intelligent/smart and have decent jobs.

                I still don’t have a great job but I grew up in an upper middle class family so maybe that’s why i feel weird dating someone who is poor. Also they are just nice to talk to (until they start abusing me or doing whatever tf they do).

                Also I am very worried about leading anyone on, like if I meet someone and I’m not sure about them I don’t want to continue talking to them at all because I don’t want to hurt them or lead them on at all but I’m not sure how long I’m supposed to give to develop some kind of connection or what to even look for.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Is that all they have in common? Being intelligent and having decent jobs. No further warning signs?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Maybe also being confident and flirty, and maybe a bit callous but I’m not sure how quickly I realize the callous part.

                Maybe charming is the right word. I don’t know.

                I can avoid them but then no one I enjoy talking to would be interested in me really.

                The only other men who have been interested in me seem not very intelligent , to the point where i can’t discuss a lot of topics with them. I don’t know.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                There was one guy who was intelligent and didn’t seem as douchey who I met at university, but we tried setting up a thing to meet again and he told me “sorry this thing is running late can we meet 2 hrs later instead” and i asked him what thing and he didn’t reply to that question specifically but another message so I just never spoke to him again

                There was another guy who I thought was okay (not intelligent in particular but he seemed nice ish) but then he messaged me asking to get drinks the next day or something so I figured he didn’t see me very seriously

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Honestly it seems like you're meeting plenty of guys based on this thread. More girls than I interact with at least. Maybe not great ones but some situations like the last one here I don't understand what he did wrong. He asked you out and you didn't think he was serious? When you say "messaged" I guess you mean text which does sound like a lame way to ask a girl out. But I mean he asked you out right? That's something.

                As for this question

                Also just as a side note im confused as to why ppl are helping me in this situation, usually when i made adv posts a bunch of people just start being mean to me. Is it because i provided very specific examples? Or is it because no one mean could be bothered to read a long post?

                I don't know what to say. I always try to help people here, the only people I'm "mean" to are blackpill spamming types.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I don't know if what these guys did was horribly wrong. I tend to go with the reschedule once, not twice rule. Maybe he didn't mean to ignore the question or maybe he ignored it on purpose because he was doing something embarrassing like shaving his balls just in case. Either way I would have allowed one reschedule. But it's up to you.

                Getting drinks sounds nice, not sure what went wrong there.

                If you want a guy who will be nice, and you are not good at recognizing red flags yourself if at al possible find out if other people are saying positive things about him. Other people might do better at recognizing these things.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Ok, this might be a bit insensitive since it's rude to lump people in categories but,.. you need to find other types of guys, so feel free to make a list of what these 'shitty guys' have in common and filter against it next time. For example are there pleasant people out there with knuckle tattoos, perhaps. Is it your duty to find them, nope.

            Just for your own sake feel free to ignore insecure tough looking men for a while. Is it unfair to friendly insecure guys who are putting up a cover, so be it.

            Anything else they have in common, can now serve as a red flag.

            What did they look and act like even before any wrongdoings?

            And if you end up having to date a guy who is not your type, suck it up, give it a try.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Just move on? Nothing really matters, so why worry about old notes and hurt from years ago?

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Oh yeah now that I’m remembering, he said I’m “okay” to talk to.

    He also “left me” for another girl when he moved a bit farther away for coop, so that he could have sex with her. He said “it’s not technically cheating cause we were never really together and any 20 something year old guy would do that”

    Yeah we never had a relationship title but we talked on the phone for hours almost every day, and I was his closest friend other than his best friend and we were really close and etc.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He's a cunt and he is abusing you. There's NOTHING else to be gleaned from this.

    You've been the perfect victim. It doesn't matter what awful shit he says/does to you - you keep crawling back. You keep validating the bullshit he says to you. You keep acknowledging him as 'right' when he's obviously off his fucking rocker. You keep hanging out with him, even though he treats you like shit.

    Why? He is so BENEATH you. Cunts like this are subhuman. They try to drag you down and hurt you because that's the only pleasure they're capable of gleaning from life. Don't let him drag you down. And I say 'down' because he really is far, far, far beneath you. You are better than him. You are better than this.

    You want some advice?
    Block him on everything. Block his friends. Block anyone who treats you this way. Cut ALL contact - not just some of it. Change your number if you need to. I don't care if that means you have no contact with people IRL. It's better to be alone than to feel lonely and unwanted when you're with someone. You feel me?
    I want you to do it right now. Block him before you even type another response. Do it. Now.

    Now I want you to call someone that you actually feel loved by. Call your mum or your grandfather or your friend. Have a little chat, and remind yourself that you aren't alone.

    If you really can't think of anyone who cares about you, reread this message, idiot. I'm typing this. I care. Everyone else here seems to care, too. We wouldn't be on this shitty board if we didn't.

    Lastly, I say this with respect and love - get a fucking therapist, babe. You're gonna need one if you want to break out of this cycle. I know it's a meme that therapy sucks (it often does), but it can also help so much (it certainly helped me when I was in a similar situation).

    You got this. You can kick that cunt to the curb, and you can live a happy life surrounded by people that really love you. But it has to start NOW. If you haven't blocked him yet, do it now.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Kat

      DAMN!

      This is the best shit I've read here.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You had a crush on a guy who was being a complete cunt to you. He verbally abused you and you didn't have enough self-respect to stop it right there. Instead, it made you write notes that seem like you question what he's saying but also not really.

    Seek therapy, learn to respect yourself, run whenever someone treats you like that again.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    That person is a jackass. There are basically no situations where it’s appropriate to talk to someone like that. Most people that do are talking more about themselves than you.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Guy is a dick, and everyone acts like a doormat when they have feelings that are not being returned. It's pretty normal. Hope you crush on better people from here on out.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My thoughts as a guy are that you need to stop hanging out with tools. Especially r*dditors.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Also just as a side note im confused as to why ppl are helping me in this situation, usually when i made adv posts a bunch of people just start being mean to me. Is it because i provided very specific examples? Or is it because no one mean could be bothered to read a long post?

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    From a guy's perspective? He was emotionally abusive and taking advantage of you. Normal people don't say shit like that unless they're hurt.

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