> have a bf for 6 months now. > both catholics. > we had chemistry since our first meeting, over a year ago

> have a bf for 6 months now
> both catholics
> we had chemistry since our first meeting, over a year ago
> love him with my life
> finally telling him that my ex raped me, I had to get this off my chest since I don't talk about this
> he's more concerned that I'm not a virgin anymore
> He straight up tells me I'm not pure and that he's thinking about breaking up with me
> wtf do I do now?

In early stages of relation we both agreed that we won't have sex untill marriage. I really felt like I can trust him. Yes, I'm not biologically a virgin, but I don't consider my ex to be "my first time". What he did was forced and brutal. He took something you can't replace from me...
But my current bf is mad at me now. Why is he so upset about it? He never asked me if I had any experience. We wanted to get married, move in together and have a family one day. But for now we had a big argument about it and I'm scared of losing him. We have had different opinions on certain things before but always tend to compromise or talk about it. Currently he's ghosting me

Any fellow catholics can give me advice? Please

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  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Please be bait

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    You just dodged a massive bullet by not marrying this guy. the fact that you're not happy about that is worrying

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lord almighty, dump him yourself. That man cannot be a good husband if he's unable to look past his selfishness and understand his partner's pain.
      You are not impure and I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

      I don't know if this is real or bait, because this is pretty fricked up if it's real. I guess give him space to process things. And know your self worth, if he dumps you over this it's his loss, not yours, you did nothing wrong.

      (I'm not a catholic but wanted to reply regardless)

      If he chooses to break up with you over your demonstrated poor decision making skills I can see that. Breaking up because you aren't a virgin is stupid and vain though. Unchristian.

      any of you guys actually plan on waiting till marriage to have sex and court for years? can you even remotely put yourselves in the guy's shoes here

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Anon I'm saving myself for marriage because it's what God wants me to do, not because I think it will bag me some pure trad gf. Expecting temporal fleshly rewards for good deeds is not Christian.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Sounds to me like it's not you who's saving your virginity, but rather all the females in the world.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        I am not planning to do so no, can you put yourself in the girls shoes?

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          i can. she's in pain. i just don't feel like it's the guy's fault, it's her ex's fault. the guy however was probably putting her on a pedestal and treat her like china under the pretense she's a virgin, which she isn't. tough shit but facts are facts.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            I am not planning to do so no, can you put yourself in the girls shoes?

            like literally, she could have had an accident where she got acid in her face and looked like a potato. would you fault a guy who meets her after the accident for not treating her the exact same way as if she never had it? would you marry a potato face girl because she used to be gorgeus? things that happen to us form us like everything else and are part of who we are in the present.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >i just don't feel like it's the guy's fault
            It's neither the girl's fault nor the guy's fault. So neither should carry it more than the other.
            >it's her ex's fault
            He's not part of the equation, he can't carry the burden, and I doubt he even would if he could.

            >the guy however was probably putting her on a pedestal and treat her like china under the pretense she's a virgin
            If he was he's a fool. You should treat people well regardless of what you can gain from them, and a partner is someone you've grown with, have shared history with, someone to have your back, someone you got to know much better than you know your family and friends. That bond should cause you to like them. Not her beings a virgin. And I get why the Bible preaches to live a pure life and not a hedonistic selfish life. But this is not one of those instances where someone deliberately went against it.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >He's not part of the equation, he can't carry the burden
            well because "she let the ex get away with it".

            >You should treat people well regardless of what you can gain from them, and a partner is someone you've grown with, have shared history with, someone to have your back, someone you got to know much better than you know your family and friends
            yes but in this case why would his BF want to wait for marriage to have sex? this can all be had if they were having sex prior to marriage. he's obviously giving up something and apparently he expects to get something for it no other man ever got, let alone for a fraction of the effort. yeah call this immaturity but men (scratch that, people in general) don't like to effort for something other men had for less effort. maybe for you a relationship is not effort, but a guy like this will quiet likely effort a lot. and would prefer if it landed him something no other man could ever get in the end.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >she let the ex get away with it
            That's an assumption right, it's not written anywhere or did I miss it? If she did it's possible she let him get away with it for a variety of reasons, like not wanting to have anything to do with him ever again and wanting to just flush it from her mind, or being too affraid to be seen as lesser or damaged by those around her (as is demonstrated in this thread), or being scared of him and fearing repercussions,... it's not necessarily ill intented.

            >but in this case why would his BF want to wait for marriage to have sex?
            Because he has the same values as he did previously. He wants to prove to himself and god that he has patience. He wants to prove to her that he is serious and the relationship is the main goal.

            >he's obviously giving up something and apparently he expects to get something for it
            Like I said if this is his mindset he's a fool.

            >maybe for you a relationship is not effort, but a guy like this will quiet likely effort a lot
            Relationships are effort, but worthwhile effort. And they should remain worthwhile even after you both stop being virgins. If the whole pop the cherry thing is your main goal and the main reason for you putting in effort, what on earth do you intend to do after.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >he's obviously giving up something and apparently he expects to get something for it
            this is foolish
            >He wants to prove to himself and god that he has patience
            but being pateint to get a used meatbag that got shagged by other men who weren't patient is based. lmao

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >used meatbag
            I don't think there's a point in arguing if this is how you see people. If you saw them in a different light you would understand why some people would decide to prove themself to their girlfriends and treat them in a way that they deserved regardless of their past setbacks.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            you can't stop radiating off what an abusable beta cuck you are and going to get cheated on and used 100% probably divorce raped too

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >abusable beta cuck
            If that's being a beta cuck, I'll take it. Life's to short to be bitter and demanding.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            okay you're probably just an incredibly low value 2/10 man and this is the only way you can get an anywhere near decent woman. in that case you go i guess

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            like any woman, no matter how nice she seems to you, will literally do it not because they're evil but because you're way too naive and need a lifetime of depression to realize it

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >I am not planning to do so no, can you put yourself in the girls shoes?

          "raped" by ex boyfriend = having sex multiple times while pretending to be a pure christian girl

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Either you haven’t dated women that are damaged or you’re so fricking pathetic that you’ll take anything that you can get. Not worth it to date broken/fricked up women, especially in the west with our laws. He’s a smart guy

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Lord almighty, dump him yourself. That man cannot be a good husband if he's unable to look past his selfishness and understand his partner's pain.
    You are not impure and I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    you made this thread yesterday

    I hate women so much its unreal, but even i can say dump him.

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Were you diagnosed with any kind of PTSD, borderline, ADHD ?

    You seem like it

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    How can your bf rape you? It's like saying that husband rapes his wife. It's your own fault for being like this, and denying man of your life sex.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      so if your wife drugs you to be submissive and pegs you for 20 minutes against your will its not rape right?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Life is not your retarted anime, troony. People don't peg each other in real life

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Oh to be so naive.

  7. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    You hid a whole relationship before the point of alleged rape. You had a ex relation, while he was under the impression you were virgin and you played into it. The whole my ex raped me, even if i believe your words, ex means at some point, you were consensually in a relationship with him before he allegedly raped you. Lying prostitute (lying about virgin status before alleged rape) absolute trash hoe

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      This. She fricked up. Tons of incels here coping so hard trying to be Mr nice guy

  8. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    If he doesn't understand what rape is then it's probably okay for you to leave him.
    Just let this relationship end, mourn the loss if you need to, and then move on, hopefully the next guy will be more understanding.

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    A repressed lesbian and a repressed homosexual walk into a relationship

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Baaaait

  11. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    YTA don’t get raped next time

  12. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Shouldn't have gotten raped.

    You're welcome

  13. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    this really is your fault for pretending like you hadn't had sex before.
    Rape is sex, so of course you knew this and lied to him for the whole relationship.
    It's no wonder he doesn't like you anymore, you lied to him the whole time, and your first time is nothing special.
    Not to mention who the frick wants to deal with your trauma, especially as a fricking male virgin...
    moronic thread, no sympathy from me, which is what you came here for... let's all face it.

  14. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    His a real warrior of Christ stop trying to bring him down with your raped pussy, you can't seduce him into being with you. Raped usedup can't be a good mother you both know it.

  15. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >date rapist
    >think you are pure
    Making your boyfriend wait until marriage after you dated a "rapist" is pretty rough. Your thug ex is in prison for the rape, at least, right?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      The amount of times I hear these “rape” stories and the guy isn’t in prison because he didn’t actually rape her

  16. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    he feels that you lied to him. I feel the same way.

    A womans form of courtship is 'here are my problems, you deal with them'

  17. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    well the answer is pretty easy
    >just unrape yourself

  18. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >all this deranged LARPing

    I keep seeing this same story over and over again, posted by either the girl or the guy, what kind of fetish is this?

  19. 10 months ago
    [adult swim]

    Men biologically want purity you can’t change that same as a woman who wants a provider and a protector of there family especially when they are religious my guess is he probably doesn’t believe your story but who is to say even reading this your being very vague and i can bet you he picks up on that your basically screwed you can’t force a man to want you if he wants to marry a virgin you need to respect that you will only make things worse for your self and him either way it’s your life kid do what you want just know you gender is known for being liars and manipulators no man wants a marriage on a false pretense especially if you waited last minute to tell him that’s something you need to talk about from the jump no excuses i dont blame him for being angry sorry kid

  20. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    He's using pseudo-morality to justify his lecherous desire for a virgin, that's all. There's no serious reason for a Christian man to dump a Christian woman on moral grounds just because she got raped before.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      She wants the benefits of being a virgin bride while having had sex with her ex, not a random rapist who got her on her way home from church. I don't think she gets to pretend to be a good Christian.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >lecherous desire for a virgin
      what's wrong with that

  21. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    did you file a police report is your ex in prison or you don't believe rapists should be prosecuted?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >did you file a police report
      Of course she didn't.

  22. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >raped by ex
    why is it always an ex or a man that a woman chose to be in the company of? you NEVER hear these kinds of stories about guys that the woman has no prior relationship with

  23. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know if this is real or bait, because this is pretty fricked up if it's real. I guess give him space to process things. And know your self worth, if he dumps you over this it's his loss, not yours, you did nothing wrong.

    (I'm not a catholic but wanted to reply regardless)

  24. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    If he chooses to break up with you over your demonstrated poor decision making skills I can see that. Breaking up because you aren't a virgin is stupid and vain though. Unchristian.

  25. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    How much y’all wanna bet this chick wasn’t actually raped

  26. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I am not religious, and I will take none but a virgin, but even I will empathize in case of one (1) instance of one-on-one rape.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why one on one?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        if it's a gang thing it counts as more than one instance

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          I meant morally why. If you don't mind me asking?

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            if you get raped once it's not your fault. if you get raped more than once there's a problem. How does someone even get gang raped? Why were you at a party with gangs of rapists?

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            but also note, there's physical proof she's not a virgin. there's no physical proof how many times she had sex so she might as well had sex multiple times with her ex and now "only remembers" that one time where it was, according to her feelings, rape.

  27. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Remember that if you were raped as a child and told your GF she'd instantly dump you.

  28. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Kill him, then kill your ex, and final have a nice day.
    Or just dump him, he seems like scum.

  29. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >physical proof she's not a virgin. there's no physical proof how many times she had sex
    Physical proof is unreliable, in the end you have to trust her. If you are unable to trust a woman you're in a relationship with you will always be haunted by the what-ifs and you probably don't love her anyway. Now trusting women is always a gamble but you gotta take that leap of faith, there's no other choice.
    Now if the bullshit OP was real and I was in a relationship with the girl in this situation I would care about her well-being more than my hangups about virginity, which I do have and treat as a complete dealbreaker.
    Especially if I were a Christian, holy frick.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      okay fine i guess, IF you actually trust her and it was clear-cut rape that's a different story. but then again you'd have to a be a fool to trust someone that much and her BF clearly doesn't trust her to this level.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        and to be fair everything i wrote i wrote under the pretense that the rape in question here is "rape"

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        i guess if her ex is in prison for raping her and it was a one-time thing and she lets him see all the court documents then maybe this is actual rape and then he's being an butthole.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >but then again you'd have to a be a fool to trust someone that much
        By all means I agree that trusting women is generally stupid, because I actually have experience with women, but if you don't trust someone then why are you in a relationship with that person? I have read this anon's post

        He probably thinks you're lying. It is common for women to have sex with a person, and then when they regret it, they claim rape. He probably just thinks you fricked around, and now that you're with him, you want to be honest about it (since obviously it's going to come out later either ways) but also seem 'innocent' at the same time, so rape is a easy story to get out of the conundrum. Just my perspective, because that's what I would think as well, especially since you weren't upright with him to begin with, pretended to be a virgin (even though you didn't outright say it) and only told the truth later when things started getting serious. Can be suspicious to a man.

        and the whole point about not being upfront with him definitely warrants this sort of reaction, but again, if it was actually rape, it makes sense that it would be difficult to talk about it casually and it would take time. That said if the man thinks the woman is lying and she's using rape as an excuse to confess that she fricked around that probably means the relationship is over regardless of the truth.
        Frick why do women lie so much. They always do this shit. They tell you the nasty shit only later when they feel they've "secured" the relationship. I hate this so much. Why can't they be upfront?

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          i don't think you're meant to believe everything a person says before you enter a relationship. like it's possible to believe the other is lying about some things and still love them like we all lie and women are often less self aware and can still be cute

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >like it's possible to believe the other is lying about some things and still love them
            It's definitely possible except the lie here is about a dealbreaker. I don't mind lies, I mind lies when it's about things that are dealbreakers, which I have pointed out to be beforehand. I dunno if women do it because they think I'm moronic or because I am so desirable as a boyfriend (doubt it), but how the frick can you think "oh, he's clearly against this thing that I did... uhhhhh I'll just lie about it???" Why can't women just I dunno, fricking get some accountability. Goddamnit. I don't even mind if you put up some weight after I am with you, but weight AND dicks I didn't know about? Why do they do this. Then I stop loving them and they get mad because their plan didn't work out. Why are they like this, really, why

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            they thouight their amazing personality would make you love them in spite of your perceived dealbreakers so they just lied about things that "don't matter anyway"

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            I always tried to push through this shit but I just feel this overwhelming natural disgust when they tell me about their sexual past. It's like my body rejects them. The sex isn't the same, I'm not the same, and they get mad at me - for judging them, I suppose. And now this view is backed by institutions so they have double the right to feel indignated when it happens. This makes me so depressed. I envy the ugly ass virgins who have no fricking idea and they have nothing to waste. I am still attractive, intelligent, I love the girl dearly, and I got burned by this shithead behavor so many times I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life. It's such a sadness. I only wanted to love someone who wasn't a bawd on her break from the carousel. That's all I wanted.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            > The sex isn't the same,
            So you had sex outside of marriage and got assmad that the women you expected sex from also had sex with other guys?
            You're part of the problem.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes I have double standards. Women can reject men based on things I don't find valuable while not applying those standards to themselves, which they have all the right to. On the other hand I don't see why I can't reject women based on my own criteria. My only problem is that I did not learn this truth on time and I endured the unendurable because I followed society's idea that it's normal for a woman to have had previous sexual partners. I have always disliked this, but I tried to keep going because it was "normal" and I was wrong to do that. My criteria however never changed, because as I said I always felt a natural revulsion to the idea. It's not like I was a bawd and one day I changed my mind. Women on the other hand will take strangers' loads in them happily and then one day demand unconditional love from me. Doesn't work like that and nobody is entitled to my feelings.

            NTA, I used to be just like you. Then I found out why, then it stopped. And then I stopped being attracted to girls with red flags I had missed in the first place after having properly learned to value myself as well as count my own red flags.

            And now I am enjoying engagement to a virtuous woman with a promising marriage on the horizon. If you want this cycle to stop, you need to first dig deep within and separate the parts of that dysfunctional wheel that belong to you from what belongs to those you dated. You need to patch the voids in your own soul, brother. Dysfunction attracts dysfunction. Even when we ourselves do not or cannot count ourselves among the dysfunctional, even if we are blind to it, the outcome will always be dysfunction.

            I think you're right that I'm dysfunctional but the experiences that made me quit dating happened when I was mentally healthy and socially normal. I chose girls that I liked. The only hangup was with their sexual past, and I kept tellng myself that I wasn't supposed to care about it to my detriment. The girls definitely weren't "dysfunctional", this is completely normal by society's standards. The problem is that right now it's definitely impossible to find a "virtuous" woman my age or younger. It's absolutely normal to have had casual sex at some point during one's teen years and claiming to dislike any of this means you're a badwrong chud blah blah blah. I would like to date again but I'm already imagining all the disappointments and bitterness and every time I push back against myself because I know it's useless and it will only get me into another round of disappointment and bitterness. Also I'm not religious so good luck finding a person I get along with who isn't a bawd. I just don't wanna throw in the towel but I know I have to.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            NTA, I used to be just like you. Then I found out why, then it stopped. And then I stopped being attracted to girls with red flags I had missed in the first place after having properly learned to value myself as well as count my own red flags.

            And now I am enjoying engagement to a virtuous woman with a promising marriage on the horizon. If you want this cycle to stop, you need to first dig deep within and separate the parts of that dysfunctional wheel that belong to you from what belongs to those you dated. You need to patch the voids in your own soul, brother. Dysfunction attracts dysfunction. Even when we ourselves do not or cannot count ourselves among the dysfunctional, even if we are blind to it, the outcome will always be dysfunction.

  30. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    He probably thinks you're lying. It is common for women to have sex with a person, and then when they regret it, they claim rape. He probably just thinks you fricked around, and now that you're with him, you want to be honest about it (since obviously it's going to come out later either ways) but also seem 'innocent' at the same time, so rape is a easy story to get out of the conundrum. Just my perspective, because that's what I would think as well, especially since you weren't upright with him to begin with, pretended to be a virgin (even though you didn't outright say it) and only told the truth later when things started getting serious. Can be suspicious to a man.

  31. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >my ex raped me
    is your ex-bf in jail?

  32. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >he's more concerned that I'm not a virgin anymore
    I’m a Catholic and a male too, OP. Let me tell you this: This has nothing to do with Catholicism or matters of faith at all. This has to do with pride.

    The best case scenario? He is a hapless neurotic who feels helpless having learned of your rape. He can’t undo your rape. He can’t go back in time to defend you, he can’t mend your honour that was stolen, he couldn’t rend fate by its ethereal horns and twist the situation to have kept you safe. And so, he feels out of his element and has no idea how to handle you or the relationship anymore, and his excuse of chastity is a camouflage for his feelings of being helpless. Unable to help you or be strong enough.

    Worst case scenario: He never loved you. He merely loved the idea of you, what you represent to him in his mind. An ideal. This ideal has nothing to do with you, really. He unconsciously contrived it himself, projected it onto you, and your utterance of being sullied by rape shattered his ideal. And now he finds it very easy to leave you. In this case, there was no love before or after you told him.

    I’ll give the benefit of the doubt and assume this isn’t a bait thread—do not listen to anyone blaming you for being raped. Your story should be a reminder to anyone with common sense that this is why rapists are scum. They destroy their victims sense of security and worth, and embitter and painfully confound your loved ones arounds you, especially future partners. Their wickedness carries an echo.

    If you want my Catholic advice sister? Let him go. You cannot control this outcome. If he walks, let him walk. Christ Himself did not corral and bargain and plead for followers. He did patiently waits at the door when he knocks. Only Satan tries to kick the door down or coax others. If he keeps the door to his heart closed, then accept it. Be on your path.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I’ll give the benefit of the doubt and assume this isn’t a bait thread
      It's an exact repost of a bait thread that was here about a week ago.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        And what made OP’s last thread from a week ago a bait thread? Did they out themselves as baiting? Or do you assume its a bait because it was reposted?

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          The reposting is yet another piece of evidence for it being bait, but just look at it. The topic is one of the most incendiary ones on this board (and the belief in waiting until marriage is held by a minority, with a plurality vitriolically opposing that belief), the OP has some writing errors (men are more commonly guilty of those), uses phrases that I have never seen people who actually wait use ("He straight up tells me I'm not pure", which makes me think this was written by someone who doesn't actually understand the mindset of those who wait), and the situation seems deliberately constructed to make OP a 'perfect victim'--an honest, virtuous woman who reported the rape and actually got a conviction (according to the last thread), and is now being treated unjustly by some guy who's made out to be an unempathetic spastic.

          I don't buy it. Sure, there's a tiny chance I'm wrong, and in that case, what I've said already shows I'd sympathize with someone as described in the OP. But this thread seems deliberately designed to get people upset. Reposting it because the last one got a few bites but didn't hit the bump limit only makes me more suspicious.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            The only thing that makes me think it's bait is OP not replying. But even if it's dishonest it makes me wonder why, if it's just for the heck of it or if the poster has alterior motives for finding out how people think about this topic.

  33. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Catholic here. He's an idiot, assuming that the rape was against your will and that you didn't encourage the action – there isn't enough detail here to really know on that ground, but that's really something you should be settling in a confession booth with a priest rather than here online.
    Even if it wasn't against your will, as long as you've settled that in confession and done your proper penance (which by default includes a vow not to do it again or put yourself in a situation where it may occur (i.e. "sin no more, and avoid the near occasion of sin")), why is he casting doubt upon you again? This isn't really the understanding spirit you'd look for in a husband, or someone who you'd want to build a life with.
    Still, he's within his own rights to choose what he wants in his own wife, and if he wants to break things off because of this you should probably let him and not chase him. If he seems to come back with a bit more of a sympathetic tone after processing it, it might be worthwhile to try and come to a compromise. However, I think you can only do that if you're fully honest about everything with him. You should first look deep inside yourself, conduct a full examination of conscience (not only about this, but about everything in your relationship(s) up to this point, and whatever you have unconfessed) and attend a proper confession where you can do penance, receive absolution, and come back into communion with God. If you settle your account properly with him, it'll be much easier for you to know what to do with your boyfriend, too.

  34. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Not to mention my whole life is fricked. I went into a depression and I've burned all my chances at a future. There's nothing I can offer even if I did find someone.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Then maybe it’s time to do what you’ve overlooked for a lifetime. Discover what you can offer to the person you refuse to look for, brother. Yourself.
      You know that cliché saying people regurgitate when trying to look for missing things? “always in the last place you’d look?” if there’s one single thing, one definitive juncture in life where this phrase is true it’s THIS one.

      It’s looking in the last place you look. In that ‘whole life’ that’s fricked. In you. Staring into the abyss you subconsciously avoid and jumping right into it, in spite of every fibre of your being feeling repelled by it. Digging through the broken glass and rubble of your own heart and picking up the pieces of yourself. It isn’t easy. In fact it’s brutally painful, to the point I know my post won’t reach you. And that’s okay. That’s expected.

      Anyway. I say all of this to you because I feel obligated to do so. I’d have killed to know it back then, when I was still drowning and fogged to shit from my shit childhood upbringing, alcoholism, porn addiction, and decades of self betrayal. Throughout all my constant feelings of inadequacy and insecurity and feeling unable to find happiness or serenity in love.

      It turns out, the missing piece of the puzzle was myself. The last place I dared to look. I feel you can do the same. Slowly, over time. Bit by bit.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        I am fixing my life right now, but I'll probably be 40 by the time I manage to build something, if I manage. In any case I need to accept that I'll be on my own and will probably stay that way. You can only fix so much when you're getting old.

  35. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm actually Catholic, from birth.

    Your first and biggest problem is that you are asking for advice on this website.

    The second is that he fails to understand that a sinful will is the most important factor in premarital sex. Sex is a big deal when you're a Virgin, after you've had a few partners it's just and itch that needs scratched once in a while. You cannot change History, And if he is unable to resolve it then the relationship cannot continue.

    I hate women with a passion and even I support you in this.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I hate women with a passion
      Did Christ hate women? Even the lowliest ones, like Magdalene?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        When's the last time you went to Mass?

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Over a month ago, you?

          >Even the lowliest ones, like Magdalene?
          This is a complete meme. Magdalene was not a prostitute.

          No, but she was possessed by 7 demons. You don’t count being under demonic influence as a lowly state of being?

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >she was possessed by 7 demons
            IN A ROW??

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Even the lowliest ones, like Magdalene?
          This is a complete meme. Magdalene was not a prostitute.

          So you lads gonna give a straight answer to my straight question? Did Christ hate women?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Even the lowliest ones, like Magdalene?
        This is a complete meme. Magdalene was not a prostitute.

  36. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    bawd

  37. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    First of all God loves you. You being raped isn't gonna change that. I'm sorry that happened to you, it must've been awful. It is perfectly normal for a guy to feel discouraged or conflicted when he finds out his gf isn't a virgin. The only advice I can offer is that you guys talk to a priest or Catholic counselor. If you can maybe start going through the marriage prep course.

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