Give it to me straight: do I have any chance of finding a husband and having a family as a 30 year old woman who has never had success relationship-wise? I have no actual relationships under my belt, I've only briefly dated a couple guys. Dating apps scare me. I'm not in school so can't meet guys through there. My is work is almost all women and the few guys there aren't single anyway. I don't like going to bars. I have tried going to hobby groups/events but guys don't approach me and I feel too awkward to approach anyone either (plus a lot of the guys at these things are older or not single). idk what to do
Have you fucked many men? If so, how many?
probably larp thread
if not, 30 years old is on the cusp of irrelevance as a female, if you want a guy who will start a family with you
If relatively chaste, your best bet is probably to meet someone through a religious organization
Agree, probably larp thread. Or they are extremely fat and ugly. In which case, there's your problem.
>finding a husband and having a family as a 30 year old woman who has never had success relationship-wise?
You are young and desirable, as long as you are dating age-appropriate men in their late 30s to early 50s.
The biggest red-flag will be that you have not had any long-term relationships. Seriously, nothing longer than a year?
Other than that, if you are not overweight, you will do fine, ASSUMING you are a real OEM born female woman.
>Seriously, nothing longer than a year?
Nope, my only experience is dating for a brief amount of time
You are a commitment-phobe. Figure out why and fix it, and you'll get a man.
That's not it, both of the guys I dated stopped seeing me
Why, then?
You have a chance, sure, but of course it'll get harder the older you get. Especially if you want a decent guy and not a divorcee or some kind of bum.
> I have tried going to hobby groups/events but guys don't approach me and I feel too awkward to approach anyone either
Going to those sorts of places is helpful for meeting people (you can also try volunteering for something you care about), but you'll need to put in extra effort to get noticed. A lot of people will just assume that you're taken if you're older and don't give any signs of being single. You don't have to directly approach men, but you can at least build relationships with women (or married boomers) in those events and let them know organically that you're single and looking. The more people know of you and your situation, the easier it is to make connections through them.
Don't let anyone convince you that you need to be desperate. Put in as much effort as you feel comfortable with, but stay patient and keep your dignity. The fastest way to turn off quality men is by putting up with shitty ones, so keep your standards high.
> as long as you are dating age-appropriate men in their late 30s to early 50s.
She really shouldn't be going much older than 40 if she wants a family.
>The biggest red-flag will be that you have not had any long-term relationships.
It depends why. If she was promiscuous instead, and kept hooking up in the hopes of keeping a guy around, that's incredibly bad. If she was just a shut-in who has only now started to interact with people more, it's very mild, because there's both a reasonable explanation and evidence that it won't be an issue presently.
>I don't like going to bars.
>idk what to do
Stop letting your dislike of bars ruin your life, thst's what. Go anyway. There is such a wide variety of bars out there that what you said above is almost like saying you don't like music or you don't like outdoor activities. Visit more bars, at different times of day, and start expanding your social circle.
And yes, there should be some alternative for you, but modern society has ruined nearly all of them. Gird your loins, smoke a cigarette, and go out.
But bars aren't fun anon. They just are not enjoyable whatsoever. Maybe they are where you live. Maybe you live in some cute new england city where there are hole in the wall bars or some rural place with a nice bar. But the only bars left in my city are basically sports bars or restaurants.
You can't possibly not have a single neighborhood, dive, old man bar in your whole town. If only because the far and away main factor that makes a bar what it is, is the bartender. Forget about finding a good bar, find a good bartender. If not, become one. If there's no answer here then your options are move away, join a really supportive and tight knit church, or continue as you are.
Why are you refusing to try dating apps ? It can work. Also find a chill bar with your friends and it will be another nice place to meet new people.
not OP but because dating apps are just for hookups and the only people who really use them aren't very serious on both genders
>Dating apps scare me
Why? There is nothing to fear. They are also by far your best chance for finding someone.
nah
That's it? Not even willing to try?
I don't see how dating apps can lead to something good. Stop talking like we all don't know exactly what goes on there
Try eHarmony. It is geared exclusively towards people who are seeking serious long-term romantic relationships. An absurdly high percentage of eHarmony matches result in marriage, and they are responsible for 4% of all marriages in the US - more than all other apps and dating sites combined.
Note I haven't used eHarmony myself. I met my wife at a bar.
By far the most common way couples meet is on dating apps. For real, why aren't you willing to try?
I've heard most guys on dating apps are just looking for sex and I don't want to waste my time on that
I'm not religious. Yes I'm a healthy weight and try to take care of myself
No hookups. The last time I ever got asked out on a date was I don't even know how many years ago, I don't really get asked out
If you were religious, then you could probably find a guy at church and be married in under a year.
Femanon. It's okay.
You will find love eventually. It is never too late to find love. It can happen out of nowhere so you should always be on the look out for it. I'm rooting for you!
Best thing you can do is ask a female coworker if they can set you up with someone literally, a date or an activity where you could meet someone
That depends—are you religious and a healthy weight? Do you groom and present well?
Taking your question in isolation it's easily possible. The problem is you've ended up posting here, which means you're most likely pretty mentally ill in some way that's not coming through in your OP. That's going to be your challenge.
>I've only briefly dated a couple guys
Any hookups? How often do you get asked on dates?
Just give dating apps a go. The guys there are not nearly as impressive as they seem on their profiles. And make sure to meet at least 5 different ones before actually sticking with one, so you have some time to learn about your preferences, get better at dating, and calibrate the league you're playing in.
can you? probably. no shortage of simps out there willing to wife up dmaged goods past the sell by date these days, sadly.
should you? probably not. any kids you have are likely to be autistic cause you are at the tail end of your reproductive years, your eggs are all the mostly expired leftovers.
if you do reproduce, hope you have daughters. nothing worse than to be born a man cursed with sub par genes.
Do you have a chance? Yes, of course. But you're going to have to start doing something different, to bring you among men in your target group (which, frankly, is going to be a little older, since 30 year old men are still chasing 20 year olds).
What class of man do you want? Working men hang out in different sorts of places from business executives.
>I don't like going to bars.
>Dating apps scare me.
>I feel too awkward to approach anyone
>I'm not religious
Kinda shooting yourself in the foot tbh.
If you're assertive enough you have fine odds. If you sit on your ass waiting for Romeo to fall from the sky, not so much
Use bumble and get a friend to help you take pictures and set up the profile. It's the least scary dating app and more for dates and less for hookups. You'll be just fine, just be wary of married men.
what do i do if i have no friends to help me with this
well i mean i have one 'friend' but i seriously dislike them
Here's a loose guide:
Look up examples of bumble profiles for women. Write a few sentences about yourself. Include a few of your interests, and maybe a joke in there. Fill out all of the questions on your religion/political views/etc, this will help filter out people who are not compatible with you.
Get a few different outfits. Do your makeup and hair pretty, and have a ponytail holder/hair clip on hand. Drive to a few different places and take pictures of yourself in different outfits, and try to have other people take pictures of you for a full body shot. You can do a mirror selfie as well. If you have any pictures of yourself with other people, try to include them also.
Set your preferred age and location range. Only swipe on profiles you actually like, bumble doesn't give you a ton of swipes. You can also use bumble to find friends.
Good luck!
>ask strangers
>drive to places
kill me now
You don't have to use a dehumanizing meat market to find a guy.
Part of the reason I hate these kinds of apps is the need to present totally false ideas of yourself.
>inb4 well get use to it bucko thats how life works
I just am not going to go along to get along. It's soul crushing to do this. And it just results in having to filter more people you aren't compatible with because they think you're someone you're not.
>Give it to me straight: do I have any chance of finding a husband and having a family as a 30 year old woman who has never had success relationship-wise?
Well, OP, if you have to ask, you probably already know the answer.
Sorry, OP.
"Ewww, you mean I have to make an effort and step outside of my comfort zone to find someone?"
Yes, bitch. I see why you've been alone this long. My friend met her boyfriend over Bumble at 35. You can, too,.
Not what anyone in this thread said wow good job. You quoted nobody
Would you date a 26 year old virgin
I'd be fine with that, I'm not very experienced myself anyway.
I'm in the US, in Arizona
>US, in Arizona
Shame, I don't do LDRs.
You should still post your discord if you're not against dating people who are active on this site.
>I'm not very experienced myself anyway.
So, how many sexual partners did you have?
Post discord.
There are tons of desperate retards on here who are dying to date you.
Date a few of em and pick the best potential partner.
On that note, where in the world are you located, OP?
Dating apps are the only option for you. I don't understand your aversion to them. You're female, you don't even have to put in effort. What's the worse that could happen? You'll have a one night stand with a guy you get to pick for his looks out of dozens of matches you didn't even have to out any effort to get?
not everyone wants a one night stand
Then you have one date with a guy, if you like him you go on more dates, if not then you don't see him again. Simple.
Man you're just insane
What?
That's literally how getting a relationship works lmao
A lot of people look for relationships on dating apps, not one night stands. Thats how I met my gf of 3 years.
Lower your standards and work fast.
You really don't have much time, find a guy who treats you well, wants kids and is financially okay and claim him.
> I have no actual relationships under my belt,
> Slept with over 50 men