Finding an actual boyfriend?

I’m mtf trans and live in a somewhat rural part of USA. I’ve been able to meet with a number of different people for sex through Grindr but afterward they don’t really want to hang out or anything. Sometimes I feel kind of lonely, which usually just leads me back to Grindr where guys are interested in me for a while.

Why is it so hard to just find a regular partner? Someone to talk to about anything instead of only sex? I wish I lived somewhere else, but can’t really afford to move.

I’m physically fit and very clean, and can cook healthy foods. Would like a dominant man that would love me for my body and like the rest of me. I think I could make a good long term partner?

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  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >could I made a good long term partner

    You're MTF so you're damaged goods by default. Maybe you're an okay person, but you've got an uphill battle...

    >people in grindr want nothing to do with me afterwards when I met them for sex

    This surprises you? You're using a gay hookup app...

    >Why is it hard to find a regular partner?

    You're not a regular person. How can you expect a regular partner?

    Again, better odds by not using gay hookup apps...

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      A lot of people won’t date trans which is fine ofc, but I don’t think I’m “damaged goods”. I have some depression and anxiety but who doesn’t? Lol

      What app would work better?

      The rural aspect might be the biggest thing working against you. LGBT communities are much more accustomed and common in denser populations. Have you considered moving closer to a population of 1mil+?

      Yes it’s a real problem. It just seems so impossible to afford to live in a big city. All the people I know that have been able to do that live with a partner so they can share expenses. Maybe I could try to find someone who’s into me who already lives in a city, I guess.

      Sometimes it feels so difficult

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >app app app
        Get the frick off of that shit. Do you have any hobbies that can get you in contact with people outside of the online space? I'm old and wise so I would never recommend you to move out of a rural area into a stuffy city but maybe that's a better environment for you to meet people outside of the pretext of "lmao let's frick".

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >I don't think I'm damaged goods
        You led off by saying you are a transsexual. You are a scratch and dent warehouse of psychological issues. There's no improving anything by ignoring that

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    The rural aspect might be the biggest thing working against you. LGBT communities are much more accustomed and common in denser populations. Have you considered moving closer to a population of 1mil+?

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Post pic if you're cute I'll talk to you.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Don’t want to post face on this nazi-infested website. Guys seem to like this view though…

      Tell me about yourself?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >wrong q angle
        >manly legs

        "why can't i find a boyfriend"
        the only guys who will ever be interested in you are fetishists. They don't see you as a woman, they see you as an exciting degenerate frick. That will only last as long as your youth lasts. As you age, your masculine traits will become more noticeable, and the guys will stop messaging you on grindr. You decided to become a freak, and wonder why people treat you like a freak?
        lol
        lmao, even

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          I know I’m the ideal partner for everyone, but I’m not a freak. There’s a lot more I have to offer than being an “exciting degenerate frick”.

          You are so rude

          I mean my beliefs might be biggoted but I don't really agree with [...] as long as you pass and continue to pass I don't really see a difference between a trans woman and a cis woman. Are you on HRT?

          Thank you. Yes I’m on hrt

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Drop your discord we can talk. Can't guarantee anything though.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Is talking even worthwhile? Probably close to zero chance you live near me…

            Would have to create a throwaway discord likely for no reason

            >Why is it so hard to just find a regular partner?
            Your gay in denial. And everyone knows it, until you get hole surgery.

            Gay in denial? These are all just labels tbh. I feel better in my body taking hrt, and don’t need srs to be valid.

            >I know I’m the ideal partner for everyone, but I’m not a freak. There’s a lot more I have to offer than being an “exciting degenerate frick”.
            Nah, he's kinda right. I personally find trans attractive but would never enter a relationship with one. I'm not promiscuous so I won't frick one either but if I did it would just be for sexual gratification. I don't want to do that to myself and them, so I'm not gonna pursue it, but that's a lot of your appeal. Maybe there are some guys who would disagree but they're gonna be few and far between

            Like I said, I’m not the ideal partner for everyone. I just need to find the one right person. It can’t be impossible. It’s ridiculous that people would find me attractive but NO ONE would want to date me lol.

            then why does nobody want anything to do with you but frick you?

            I don’t know; maybe I’m looking in the wrong places? Dating is awkward for everyone maybe.

            your knees look masculine
            there are morphology differences between male and female knees

            I know my knees are weird, sorry. Not sure what to do about it…

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >It’s ridiculous that people would find me attractive but NO ONE would want to date me lol.
            Why? Cis women are better for a long term relationship for a myriad of reasons. I wouldn't have a relationship with everyone I find attractive.
            >I just need to find the one right person.
            That's going to be extremely difficult. Guys who want to frick you aren't gonna want a relationship. Guys who are attracted to you won't necessarily want a relationship, I'm in that boat if a trans girl is attractive enough. And a lot of guys just won't be attracted to you. Why would I date you when I can date a cis woman that's as attractive, intelligent, and successful? Sexual gratification? That's temporary. There are some things I can't do with a cis woman that I can do with a trans but vice versa applies too. So what do I gain? You're fricked is what I'm saying. Try to make the best of being a sexual object I guess

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            I’m more than just a sexual object.

            This thread is honestly starting to upset me lol

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I’m more than just a sexual object.
            I don't disagree, but for relationships you are just a sexual object for the most part. Either that or you're nothing, even if you're attractive. Would you rather that?
            >This thread is honestly starting to upset me lol
            It didn't upset you when you were pumped and dumped by a bunch of degenerates? It should, and this is why the thread is upsetting you. Gay guys don't want you. Fully straight guys don't want you. Bicurious guys who want relationships with women probably would rather be with a cis woman long term. So who wants you? "Pansexuals? Members of the LGBT community are generally less likely to pursue monogamy, especially young people. I'm not saying it's impossible, but the odds are against you. No clue where to find the kind of guys you want.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            If someone wanted me to only be a sexual object, I could do that long term. I’m pretty good at sex I think; not a dead fish and I swallow. Would always let him do whatever he wanted with my body.

            It would just be nice if they also wanted to hear about my day and how I’m feeling, and we could cuddle for hours afterward. Think I’m craving more touch and just a real connection.

            I’m not upset about sex with anyone, but it hurts when they leave and ghost me until they’re horny again. Even if they just texted to ask about my day that would be a nice change.

            I’m tired of being sad and horny lol 🙁

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >It would be nice if they also wanted to hear about my day and how I'm feeling
            Nobody ever wants this, even for women they actually love. The reason that Kings and Emperors since time immemorial have preferred the company of their friends on the hunt to the company of their wives is that, by and large, people don't want to engage with their romantic partner when they're not interested in romance.

            I don't think that's a Men and Women issue, its a Human Race issue. People seek friendship in people that are like themselves and Romance in the people who have the traits they most love that they don't have themselves. It makes romantic attachments a bad choice for friendship.

            Have you ever tried actually listening to dates? Its a truly agonizing, hellish experience.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            this is just cope or you either had shitty relationship
            your partener should listen to you even if you're boring, they should do this out of love
            also, there are a lot of couples out there who have real shared interest and they enjoy talking to each other

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >It would just be nice if they also wanted to hear about my day and how I’m feeling, and we could cuddle for hours afterward. Think I’m craving more touch and just a real connection.
            Oh I want that, just with a cis woman lol. Actually, more emotional connection than cuddling or whatever but that's similar enough.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I know I’m the ideal partner for everyone, but I’m not a freak. There’s a lot more I have to offer than being an “exciting degenerate frick”.
            Nah, he's kinda right. I personally find trans attractive but would never enter a relationship with one. I'm not promiscuous so I won't frick one either but if I did it would just be for sexual gratification. I don't want to do that to myself and them, so I'm not gonna pursue it, but that's a lot of your appeal. Maybe there are some guys who would disagree but they're gonna be few and far between

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            true, even for a normal lefty, trans people are ticking bombs

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            then why does nobody want anything to do with you but frick you?

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            You are a freak. You literally chose the mimmick the other gender. You may have 5-10 years of being frickable. After that you will develop manly wrinkles, and bad skin. You will become an old troony which is the most reviled being on the planet. Gay men will no longer want to frick you and you will have damaged your body beyond all normal function

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            if you're suggesting that estrogen gives you bad skin then just lmao. my skin will look good a lot longer thanks to my hrt, though we all age eventually 😛

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            I’m not saying that. I’m saying you will be a 35 year old troony one day with wrinkles.

            You will be a 45 year old troony with bad skin and less toned

            You will be a 55 year old troony with sagging skin

            You will be a 65 year old troony with age marks and poor posture

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            lol you're being ridiculous.

            actually i feel better now, so thank you.

            "you're doomed to a miserable existence bc you're aging just like literally everyone!!"

            lmao

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            the difference is a normal man in his 40s is still attractive. The feminine deception you attempt will utterly fail in a few short years as your masculine traits become more pronounced, as happens with every man

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >a normal man in his 40s is still attractive
            Lol. Most people, male or female, are gone by their mid 30s. An already attractive man (or woman, for that matter), who takes good care of themselves will be attractive in their 40s, trannies probably included

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            MtF trannies rely on youth to appear feminine. As they age the chances of "passing" decrease (not that they ever really passed in the first place)

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            No one wants a wrinkly old troony

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Also I don’t have “manly legs”, but they’re somewhat developed from working out. They’re one of my best features

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            your knees look masculine
            there are morphology differences between male and female knees

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        I mean my beliefs might be biggoted but I don't really agree with

        >wrong q angle
        >manly legs

        "why can't i find a boyfriend"
        the only guys who will ever be interested in you are fetishists. They don't see you as a woman, they see you as an exciting degenerate frick. That will only last as long as your youth lasts. As you age, your masculine traits will become more noticeable, and the guys will stop messaging you on grindr. You decided to become a freak, and wonder why people treat you like a freak?
        lol
        lmao, even

        as long as you pass and continue to pass I don't really see a difference between a trans woman and a cis woman. Are you on HRT?

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Because you're not a normal person. You're a mentally ill freak. If you want to be a troony (not a women), you have to accept the only people who want to be with you are other freaks.

          You know there's more to a real woman besides just looking like a women? Right? Example being having two x chromosomes, a functional vegana and uterus, actual women emotions. Just because some mentally ill freak dresses up as a women and take hrt doesn't make them a women.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >actual women emotions
            Men and women have the same emotions

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Men are more selfish than women.
            If you can't get over your narcissism, you're never going to pass.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        You look hot and have beautiful figure. I would date and talk to you if we were compatible. I would get retroactively jealous if I catched feelings for you tho. But there's big chances for you to find a compatible partne.r you are atractive. I would love to see more of you. Just put yourself out there on there and make clear what you are looking for! Your future mate might appreciate it. Good luck. And damn gorgeous legs, frick.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          OP samegayging and coping

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        god the angle doesn't make you look right take a better photo

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          ... it's not the angle

          >Trans is an other word for Body disphoria.

          To add most trans people today aren't actually trans. They're just following trends. Before it was emos, anorexic, cutters, etc now its this.

          Social contagion

          I don't think it's social contagious or confusing. In op s case, he's lacking.
          Society wouldn't be fixed by having everyone simply act in certain roles, there's something rotten that's left holes in the core.
          When people claim to have been repressing their desire to transition for years before this period consisting of the past 5 years, I take them at their word. I don't understand what they say about being in the wrong body since I've never experienced it myself but they have repressed some strong feelings. It shouldn't be shocking that whatever that's bottling up inside comes out in an antisocial manner

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >god the angle doesn't make you look right take a better photo

          ... it's not the angle
          [...]
          I don't think it's social contagious or confusing. In op s case, he's lacking.
          Society wouldn't be fixed by having everyone simply act in certain roles, there's something rotten that's left holes in the core.
          When people claim to have been repressing their desire to transition for years before this period consisting of the past 5 years, I take them at their word. I don't understand what they say about being in the wrong body since I've never experienced it myself but they have repressed some strong feelings. It shouldn't be shocking that whatever that's bottling up inside comes out in an antisocial manner

          >... it's not the angle
          lol wait, what? Are we looking at the same picture? Cause I would let OP sit on my face.. actually, I'd beg OP to sit on my face

          If someone wanted me to only be a sexual object, I could do that long term. I’m pretty good at sex I think; not a dead fish and I swallow. Would always let him do whatever he wanted with my body.

          It would just be nice if they also wanted to hear about my day and how I’m feeling, and we could cuddle for hours afterward. Think I’m craving more touch and just a real connection.

          I’m not upset about sex with anyone, but it hurts when they leave and ghost me until they’re horny again. Even if they just texted to ask about my day that would be a nice change.

          I’m tired of being sad and horny lol 🙁

          Hmm, I think I understand what you mean. I wouldn't want you to be having sex with me in exchange for me listening to you about your day though. If I liked you, I'd talk to you about whatever, no need for the sex. The thing is, sex is my favorite hobby, so anytime I got nothin to do, #1 on the list is going to be sex, you know?

          I dunno if that makes any sense. If I'm gonna have sex with someone, I'd like that person to be my friend. Seems like the logical thing to do too

          Now, I don't think I've ever asked any of my friends how their day was, but I'll fricking listen to you talk about your day if you just start telling me about it lol. And not just because I want you to sit on my face

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Cause I would let OP sit on my face.. actually, I'd beg OP to sit on my face
            That's a you kind of issue.
            How far up the Kinsey scale are you?

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >How far up the Kinsey scale are you?
            I dunno, is there a specific test I should take or how's that work?

            I'd let a dude frick me and I'd let a troony frick me, but I prolly wouldn't frick most dudes, whereas I'd be much more likely to frick a troony. I like women, though. I don't look at men and think "wow he's hot" or whatever, unless that man looks a lot like a woman. Problem is, I'm pretty sure I like wiener, and wieners tend to be attached to dudes, so what are you gonna do?

            >I don't think I've ever asked any of my friends how their day was,
            Phrases like "how's it going" and "how you been, man?" are literally just male language for "how was your day?"

            >Phrases like "how's it going" and "how you been, man?" are literally just male language for "how was your day?"
            I don't say that shit either. I might say "you still alive?" or something though, I suppose that counts. I usually just start talking to someone and I assume if they want to tell me about their day, they will

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I don't think I've ever asked any of my friends how their day was,
            Phrases like "how's it going" and "how you been, man?" are literally just male language for "how was your day?"

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        The instant I opened this photo I could tell it was a male

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Why is it so hard to just find a regular partner?
    Your gay in denial. And everyone knows it, until you get hole surgery.

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Why is it so hard to just find a regular partner?
    Because
    >Im mtf trans

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    > I don’t think I’m “damaged goods”
    >There’s a lot more I have to offer than being an “exciting degenerate frick”
    > I don’t have “manly legs” ... they’re developed from working out. They’re one of my best features
    >These are all just labels tbh. I feel better in my body taking hrt
    >I’m more than just a sexual object
    It's all about how you feel. I don't think you're even gay cus most gay guys aren't this self-centered. You're basically in a relationship with the opposite gender version of yourself.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sounds like you are just scared that you are turned on by my exceptional feminine figure. Anyway i gotta go, im getting ready to top this hot college jock i messaged on grindr, how does that make you feel chud?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        kek. Time to drown out the bad feelings with the brief joy of being a human flashlight, only for them to run away when they see you with post-nut clarity?

        Tick-tock, your youth is fading and the grindr hookups will be over
        and you will be left alone, with nothing to show for the mess you have made of your life.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        ... if you wanted to sound consistent, you could have begun with: "I actually have a feminine figure" instead of Acknowledging any feels I may/not have

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Post pics, I want to test my resolve.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        This wasn’t me. People are starting to troll my thread.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          your thread (and your life) was always a joke.

          we just made it amusing instead of just sad

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Guess it’s good you’re having fun.

            Think I put myself into a depression over this shitty thread

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Someone had to have warned you that trooning out was a bad idea. You should have listened

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Guess it’s good you’re having fun.

          Think I put myself into a depression over this shitty thread

          >This wasn’t me.
          >Think I put myself into a depression
          Sounds more like op

  7. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ok let state the obvious for you:

    Trans is an other word for Body disphoria.

    It's a mental disorder, you need therapy, you are in denial.
    This is the root of your problems.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Trans is an other word for Body disphoria.

      To add most trans people today aren't actually trans. They're just following trends. Before it was emos, anorexic, cutters, etc now its this.

      Social contagion

  8. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    So, well, the best option for you is to go to a more densely populated area. Also, I don't know if you figured this out yet or not, but generally avoid DL, black, and hispanic men. Not good for relationship material when they don't want anyone finding out about you and them.
    Besides that, it's really a numbers game. Don't give up your ass so easily, try to find a few people that talk to you consistently, and you will find, at the very least, some decent companionship/fwb.
    For all the posters saying they shouldn't have trooned out - yeah, I definitely agree. But, the LGBT community in general is disgustingly promiscuous. OP, I wish you the best but you really should have just been a twink on HRT. I understand you have gender dysphoria or whatever - and medical 'professionals' have told you to transition - but you have to understand that this is the lifestyle you CHOSE. The last thing I want you to do is KYS, but really, if you read and listen to anything in this post, it should be this - hardly anyone in the lgbt community finds love. and even in the straight community, love is now becoming rarer and rarer everyday. I hope things work out for you, but...don't be surprised if they don't. It's bad for everyone right now. Good luck.

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    You're a homosexual, but even worse than that, you're a homosexual pretending to be a woman to not be seen as a homosexual. I hope whatever man you trick into bed borderlines beat you to death.

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don’t feel any better today. These online spaces get to be so hateful.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >hateful
      How is it hateful to tell you what you seem to already know?

  11. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I feel very dismissive of your alleged plight. Not just that you think people on Grindr are interested in anything hetereosexual, but also the implication that you partake in catfishing. They most likely expect sex with a man, not "man in denial".

    I feel bad for those gays, and I'm actually homophobic.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      what are you talking about? there are all types of people on grindr; it's not exclusively cis gay men. there are even straight men on there looking for people like me...

      The instant I opened this photo I could tell it was a male

      maybe post a picture of yourself and we can pick that apart. no body is perfect.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >maybe post a picture of yourself and we can pick that apart. no body is perfect.
        But I look like the gender I tell the world that I am. You don't, and that's a pretty important difference

  12. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    The truth is you're a sexual fetish, not an actual person to date.

    I know there is a political answer and you can give a thousand cope retorts, but I'm giving you the pragmatic truth so that you can build pragmatic solutions that will make you happy. Give up on the idea of LTR, you don't need it to be happy. You get sex now that's good. There's much more to life like hobbies, careers etc. and you can build interpersonal relationships there and feel less lonely.

    Most people end up alone, just don't freak yourself out about LTRs instead of living life.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Anon, you should try to move to a blue state and live in a large(r) city. It might help.
      Also ignore the trolls and the bait. Idek why you thought this place is a decent place to ask this.

      That is so true:(
      When I was a kid I used to fantasize about getting married and being a "mom" (though I can't really be a mom- kid brain) and having a family. Then I grew up and got a bitter dose of reality. I'm still single despite having countless sexual partners. Nobody really wants a girl who is trans for marriage. I'm not even shooting for the stars here- I just want a regular old guy (who has to be comfortable about being with someone with a penis- not getting rid of it, sorry) to grow old with. Meh. At least I'm grateful to be born with good RNG. That is all.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >who has to be comfortable about being with someone with a penis
        It's not about that. It's about the fact that you can't have biological kids with me, need to rely on hormone injections to maintain yourself, are mentally ill to an extent by default, and have an identity that probably isn't gonna lead to to similar values as I have. The sex is a non-factor either way

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >waaah everyone who doesn't want to fall for my delusions is a troll!!!1!1!
        lol, lmao even
        you homosexuals always cry persecution and yet you're always actively trying to push actual women out of their spaces and commiting violent acts against anyone who disagrees with you, tries to help someone escape your grooming, or even calls you by the "wrong" pronouns

  13. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I’m mtf trans
    you're not
    transsexualism is only possible in a couple of animals, like some frogs and fish
    humans can't transition from a gender to the other
    you have a mental illness

  14. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Idk why everyone is being an butthole. Here’s some actually advice: Use a different dating app than Grindr. Sure, you’ll get people still looking for hookups, but probably a lot less. Try okCupid or Match or something like that.

  15. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Frick you fricking troony freak

  16. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I’ve been able to meet with a number of different people for sex through Grindr but afterward they don’t really want to hang out or anything.
    uve been ran thru
    as a relatively normal (by NSFFW standards) straight man i would not date someone like you
    maybe have less casual sex

  17. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Finding an actual boyfriend?
    >I’m mtf trans
    it's never gonna happen. you could lock down a chaser if you're still packing heat and look somewhat feminine passing

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