What's your greatest insecurity? Greatest worry?
One that isn't basically just being trans. That's a good one too though.
Fears
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Being alone, having nobody and only myself in life
I wouldn't have worded it exactly the same but yeah. why I made the thread. good job solving the question that hadn't been asked.
being incapable of feeling love
Ending up completely alone in life and either spending 10-20 years rotting in my own piss in a state-run nursing home incapable of doing anything enjoyable or just falling one day in my lonely apartment, not being able to get up, and knowing there's nobody around to care about me, nobody to ever give me a hug again and I'll just lie there on the floor until I die of starvation, and my rotting bloated corpse will be found by the cops after my landlord calls to evict me when the rent stops getting paid
sounds like my mom's experience. the fact that I can relate it to my own life makes it even more fun.
that's dire and I'm sorry.
being unlovable, its so crippling i cant function a lot of the time
I think you're pleasant. but I won't downplay your worries. I'm incredibly charming for some people and it doesn't overcome the downsides in the long run. I'm sad that it affects you so often.
>I think you're pleasant. but I won't downplay your worries.
idk i feel like i put my best side forward here (not intentionally) i just dont think im bearable on a day-to-day
>I'm incredibly charming for some people and it doesn't overcome the downsides in the long run.
yeah same kinda, i get along with people well and they like me
but i am god awful at making friends, only way i can is by having people placed into my proximity by other friends
otherwise, i would've been lost long ago
>I'm sad that it affects you so often.
yeah idk what to do
Reincarnation
gtfo I just dreamt about that. Don't steal my brain juice.
relatable. my problems aren't ones that matter here and they're not even ones that matter to people I've already made friends with. imagining real intimate long term acceptance if impossible though.
>imagining real intimate long term acceptance if impossible though.
yeah i cant even imagine that
the closer someone gets to me the harder they can reject me
and dating someone i dont know, i cant trust them
but the idea of dating someone i was friends with is even worse, because if i (when i) fuck up the relationship i lose a friend
I feels you. I don't express my fears the same way but they're about the same thing and coming from the same place.
its so deeply rooted i cant fix it
i need therapy bad but i just want to lie here and give up
I need therapy bad too. but then I imagine what therapy is like from my experiences before and it's like, what a joke. allegedly this shit is supposed to do something and not just be insulting.
that's a bad one. too many people end up like that for real. I wish they were supported more.
>but then I imagine what therapy is like from my experiences before and it's like, what a joke. allegedly this shit is supposed to do something and not just be insulting.
its helped me in the past, when going to specialists on subjects i need help with, but the idea of going to a therapist for gender shit again sounds awful
i have to come out to another person while i look no different than a man, and tell to their face that i've been on hrt for 3 years, then i have to look at their face of pity because of how pathetic that is
its overwhelming and painful, and i cant talk to anyone onther than a therapist because im not coming out to anyone
I feel for that. I don't have to do that bit. I don't have anything particularly humiliating I'd have to talk about. it just seems bound to be worthless and aggravating.
>it just seems bound to be worthless and aggravating.
it might be worth trying tho at least
find someone whos specifically tagged with working on issues you have and try it out.
Not ever finding a purpose to justify my life. It just feels like constant cyclical suffering with brief moments of escapism that don't make me happy just pause the pain for a bit.
Never getting ffs that I’ll always look in the mirror and see the same broken and sad individual, and even if I get it, I’ll still see that scared homosexual who looks like theyre barely keeping it together. Scared of others, broken, lost
>haven’t slept yet, going to bed soon
Atm losing people I love because I'm bpd and stuff
I've been working in some form since 14 and I'm just terrified that it's going to just keep getting harder and harder forever. It's already swallowed up all the best years of my life. I've already had to watch other people having normal fun lives as teenagers whilst I was exhausted from work and constantly anxious. My 20s are nearly over and all I know how to do is be a worker drone, I'm terrified my body is going to start failing bit by bit and once I'm completely spent noone will care and it'll be all my fault
never knowing what i want to do for the rest of my life (job/work)
dying alone because i'm a useless sapphic
Honest day of work or full time employment