Does anybody have any tips for not being such a neurotic mess about my apparent identity and excepting myself as either enby or a transwoman or some w...

Does anybody have any tips for not being such a neurotic mess about my apparent identity and excepting myself as either enby or a transwoman or some weird femboy thing between the two?

Because I swear to god its like my morality, my politics, my social situation, my fricking body, my general neuroticism, my financial situation, my career decisions, my hobbies, my deep philosophical beliefs about existence... its like every single fiber of my mind is now dedicated to confusion, crisis, and fighting against myself.
The way I was my whole life is coming under question and I don't even know if I want people to treat me the same or not any more. I don't know if I am the same person I thought I was. I'm really, really confused and I can't accept it and I don't know what to do.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    No?
    Okay. I figured as much. Doesn't seem like people that go further than me are much happier anyway. I'll never actually have areolas or hips or breasts or fricking ovaries which are like the main things that make a woman a woman and everyone acts like oh no its about identity. Like frick off this is a disease.
    No one who is trans is happy.
    Everyone who looks for trans gfs is a fricking weirdo looking for a neurotic person because either they have a desire to be overprotective, they're naive and about to stop preferring tranners, or they're a manipulative piece of shit.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I can't be happy like this. I can't. Why does this have to happen?
      This is awful. Every single one of you fricks has dysphoria. This is an addiction or a progressive disease or something. Its not something that makes me special. Its not like being gay where oh it can be fun too.
      No. Its just all bad. Everything about is bad and I want to die and every time someone says its not a problem, that its somehow something society should accept by putting posters up displaying the way I don't want to fricking look this is somehow a good thing that will make me feel good. I guess it does give props to idiotic cis """allies"""

      God. I hate all of you and all of this and myself and everyone else.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I can't be happy like this. I can't. Why does this have to happen?
      This is awful. Every single one of you fricks has dysphoria. This is an addiction or a progressive disease or something. Its not something that makes me special. Its not like being gay where oh it can be fun too.
      No. Its just all bad. Everything about is bad and I want to die and every time someone says its not a problem, that its somehow something society should accept by putting posters up displaying the way I don't want to fricking look this is somehow a good thing that will make me feel good. I guess it does give props to idiotic cis """allies"""

      God. I hate all of you and all of this and myself and everyone else.

      I'm not "unique". I'm not "expressing myself". I'm just fricking WRONG. Everything about me and my body is FRICKING WRONG.

      No matter what you change or call yourself, you will always be you.

      I would recommend eating some cannabis oil, like RSO or at least some kind of powerful edibles.
      Get off of alcohol and cigarettes, and any other toxin-based non-medicinal drugs.
      Get more sleep before midnight.
      Eat more animal fat and meat, and remove vegetable oil and seed oil from you diet.
      https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1559236645332951042.html
      If you're feeling crazy, even while high on cannabis, I'd suggest reading the book of Proverbs in the Christian Bible (any version is OK, but KJV is a bit olde anglish).

      (me)
      Now now, I can only type shitposts so fast.
      Aye, yes, a mentally contagious disease.
      But this disease is only a symptom of a much larger problem, a creeping rot of evil through humanity.
      Some call it Sin, some call it Oversocialization, others call it Gynocentrism, but it may have many names.
      But the child that is shunned by the village will one day burn it down to feel it's warmth.

      I do disagree with you on your view of the impossibility of real organic breasts which have the ability to lactate, because there are folks who have accomplished this feat while being male, regardless of that nasty "identity" cancer that so many folks make such a fuss about.

      My angle is generally the harvesting of salt from the illiterates who repeat the tired "phytoestrogens do nothing" mantra, even though there are several articles and much anecdote to the contrary, particularly regarding breast growth, and I am not referring to disgusting moobs here.

      Before you do anything to your endocrine system to alter your body, you really should become at peace with yourself, and find a way to avoid self-hatred without falling back on the popular habit of blaming others for every bad thing that happens.

      Again, I really strongly recommend Cannabis to heal your mental state.
      Do it every day at 4:20PM if you need to, like 200mg of cannabis oil, that's what it took for me, and it took a couple of years too.
      Frick I've come a long way.
      I love you, Anon, and I hope you have a good night/morning/afternoon, whatever your locale may be.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'm not "unique". I'm not "expressing myself". I'm just fricking WRONG. Everything about me and my body is FRICKING WRONG.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Please stop yelling
      I am sorey that i cannot hug you anon

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >yelling
        >sorey
        Thanks I guess...?

        [...]
        [...]
        [...] (me)
        Now now, I can only type shitposts so fast.
        Aye, yes, a mentally contagious disease.
        But this disease is only a symptom of a much larger problem, a creeping rot of evil through humanity.
        Some call it Sin, some call it Oversocialization, others call it Gynocentrism, but it may have many names.
        But the child that is shunned by the village will one day burn it down to feel it's warmth.

        I do disagree with you on your view of the impossibility of real organic breasts which have the ability to lactate, because there are folks who have accomplished this feat while being male, regardless of that nasty "identity" cancer that so many folks make such a fuss about.

        My angle is generally the harvesting of salt from the illiterates who repeat the tired "phytoestrogens do nothing" mantra, even though there are several articles and much anecdote to the contrary, particularly regarding breast growth, and I am not referring to disgusting moobs here.

        Before you do anything to your endocrine system to alter your body, you really should become at peace with yourself, and find a way to avoid self-hatred without falling back on the popular habit of blaming others for every bad thing that happens.

        Again, I really strongly recommend Cannabis to heal your mental state.
        Do it every day at 4:20PM if you need to, like 200mg of cannabis oil, that's what it took for me, and it took a couple of years too.
        Frick I've come a long way.
        I love you, Anon, and I hope you have a good night/morning/afternoon, whatever your locale may be.

        OK you admitted it was a shitpost and some of the stuff you typed was... maybe not part of the shitpost? Well, whatever.
        I appreciate even this.

        Just stop being an obsessed homosexual.

        >Just stop doing it lol
        You should write self-help books.

        Obsessing over identity or labels is moronic and your just making yourself crazy. Your a girly gay any other way you try to dress it.
        Relax anon.

        >Obsessing over identity or labels is moronic and your just making yourself crazy.
        Yeah. For some reason, I find it hard not to. I guess I should meditate more or something.

        this kinda bummed me out to read, this almost seems like you're making this harder on yourself than you need to.

        most of the time, the simple answers are the right ones, and the world around us thrives on us avoiding the simple choice and driving ourselves crazy instead

        >kinda bummed me out
        I appreciate the sympathy at least
        >seems like you're making this harder on yourself than you need to.
        I think I am. Maybe I just need time or something. It seems, I get like this really fast, and then I recover later and can be sober like this, then later it happens again.
        Maybe there's some emotional "short muscle" I need to exercise IDK.
        >stop trying to make yourself coherent
        But it bothers me? I don't do it by choice it just happens.

        Pretty relatable but I think this anger might come in waves and that's the trans experience just paddling through this never ending sea of self hate and confusion. Sometimes I feel pretty good about myself and my body and anon I hope you do to, try consuming some trans art or movies. Nevada is this novel about a trans woman. It's not a guide book or even very helpful it's actually kinda an awful sad story but it's real and it captures a lot of what you've typed into a feeling.

        >never ending sea of self hate and confusion
        >sometimes I feel pretty about myself
        There has to be someway to be mostly normal...
        Why is this a thing? Why does it have to be that I explore my sexuality and then this happens? I thought sexuality (or whatever) was supposed to be healthy. The fact that what I experience is not healthy... I can't cope with this. How am I supposed to not believe in advancing conversion therapy and then also believe I'm this fricked up?
        >try consuming some trans art or movies
        >It's not a guide book or even very helpful it's actually kinda an awful sad story
        I watched The Danish Girl a while back and it fricked me up. Granted, some of that had to do with how they casted Elba as a relative passoid.
        Still, the idea of seeing more shit like that might not make me feel better. It could give me company, but that's also what lead to this; a girl in my support group still having dysphoria long into transition and having "good days and bad days" even though they looked better than many. It makes me lose all my hope.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Actually, I'm not really that sober right now. I'm like sad-sober, like I'm in the eye of the storm or perhaps just on its edge.

          I don't really feel good and I don't know if I'm just going to keep feeling worse and worse. I wasn't fricked up before or at least I thought I wasn't.

          I don't know if I can have a good relationship now. I was already kind of an incel and now anyone who tries to get with me for almost any reason beyond the deepest, most unlikely and extreme scenarios is just awful.

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    No matter what you change or call yourself, you will always be you.

    I would recommend eating some cannabis oil, like RSO or at least some kind of powerful edibles.
    Get off of alcohol and cigarettes, and any other toxin-based non-medicinal drugs.
    Get more sleep before midnight.
    Eat more animal fat and meat, and remove vegetable oil and seed oil from you diet.
    https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1559236645332951042.html
    If you're feeling crazy, even while high on cannabis, I'd suggest reading the book of Proverbs in the Christian Bible (any version is OK, but KJV is a bit olde anglish).

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Just stop being an obsessed homosexual.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Obsessing over identity or labels is moronic and your just making yourself crazy. Your a girly gay any other way you try to dress it.
    Relax anon.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    this kinda bummed me out to read, this almost seems like you're making this harder on yourself than you need to.

    most of the time, the simple answers are the right ones, and the world around us thrives on us avoiding the simple choice and driving ourselves crazy instead

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    as someone who has struggled with their sense of self, and has often felt they were a rng in terms of thought and action, my advice is to stop trying to make yourself coherent.
    nobody is coherent, even if you're less so. you have to settle for something meagre.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      i also skim read lol sorry

      [...]
      [...]
      [...] (me)
      Now now, I can only type shitposts so fast.
      Aye, yes, a mentally contagious disease.
      But this disease is only a symptom of a much larger problem, a creeping rot of evil through humanity.
      Some call it Sin, some call it Oversocialization, others call it Gynocentrism, but it may have many names.
      But the child that is shunned by the village will one day burn it down to feel it's warmth.

      I do disagree with you on your view of the impossibility of real organic breasts which have the ability to lactate, because there are folks who have accomplished this feat while being male, regardless of that nasty "identity" cancer that so many folks make such a fuss about.

      My angle is generally the harvesting of salt from the illiterates who repeat the tired "phytoestrogens do nothing" mantra, even though there are several articles and much anecdote to the contrary, particularly regarding breast growth, and I am not referring to disgusting moobs here.

      Before you do anything to your endocrine system to alter your body, you really should become at peace with yourself, and find a way to avoid self-hatred without falling back on the popular habit of blaming others for every bad thing that happens.

      Again, I really strongly recommend Cannabis to heal your mental state.
      Do it every day at 4:20PM if you need to, like 200mg of cannabis oil, that's what it took for me, and it took a couple of years too.
      Frick I've come a long way.
      I love you, Anon, and I hope you have a good night/morning/afternoon, whatever your locale may be.

      you sound psycho

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Pretty relatable but I think this anger might come in waves and that's the trans experience just paddling through this never ending sea of self hate and confusion. Sometimes I feel pretty good about myself and my body and anon I hope you do to, try consuming some trans art or movies. Nevada is this novel about a trans woman. It's not a guide book or even very helpful it's actually kinda an awful sad story but it's real and it captures a lot of what you've typed into a feeling.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don't think it gets better. I think it gets worse because before this, I was fairly normal. I was just lonely. Now I have panic attacks. Now I have suicidal thoughts sometimes. Now I often feel like I hate myself.

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Of course, I forget to consider a lot of people on here are likely bucket crabs.
    There's just no escape...

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Ita reallt npt going to get better. Ita going tog et worse and worse and worse LOL

    All that bullshit abouy different cultures and third gender acceptance was lies.

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