Do you think women have too high standards now? My friend thinks that specific reason is why he can't find anyone, and he isn't genuinely ugly, or creepy. I don't even know what kind of advice I could give him besides the basic "get swole and rich", and maybe that's the answer... which would prove his point, now that I think about it.
No its because there are people really dont understand how to get women and instead of learning and working and improving their social skills and chances its easier to come online read demotivational incel bullshit and come to thr conclusion its out of reach then whine about it.
I think appearance is more important overall, I've seen attractive men displaying very little charisma while being treated much better than an average looking guy who's more energetic and such. I don't subscribe to this whole lookism thing but looking at social situations, a girl will laugh at your joke if she likes your appearance.
It helps. Thats it. The problem is that as obvious as it is being a "10" male or female is going to have very clear advantages, internet autists absolutely incapable of understanding nuance feel that makes it utterly disqualifying if you arent.
Meanwhile, the vast large massive majority of people are not abundantly attractive, and most people do just fine with dating provided they dont hide behind a computer and cry all day.
I don't disagree that most people somehow make it work, here and there. My friend is quite an intellectual guy, he isn't autistic as in unpleasant, though knowing him I don't actually know if he's built for building relationships with women. He's too invested in his own world, in his ideas, in what he personally finds interesting, to me it seems like the only reason he wants to experience a relationship of some sort is because of natural sex drive, not because he has any innate interest about the opposite sex.
I don't know how to help him, maybe celibacy of some kind is needed. He would never become an actual monk but I maybe he needs to live a life like one, I really don't see him getting along with a woman on a sexual level. Friendships don't interest him.
>Friendships don't interest him.
>He's too invested in his own world, in his ideas, in what he personally finds interesting
>he isn't autistic as in unpleasant,
okay but he's autistic as in autistic.
Maybe, though autism is a spectrum and it's not really useful to label anyone in that way. Which is to say, if he feels a need for a connection of some sort, then he isn't autistic beyond hope. I mean, I don't know.
Flirting only works if the other side reciprocates. You being able to flirt doesn't mean you're gonna get a woman, maybe you get them, I don't know you. A big part of flirting is whether you're appealing enough physically wise, or I should charm as a whole. Realistically women don't want ugly men no matter what they do. I'd wager even average ones are completely invisible, from what I see. Being optimistic is rather a good thing, but from what I see here people are not *realistic* enough.
I firmly believe some men were born to never make it in terms of attracting a woman, not because they're particularly ugly, it's because they're just not built for that aspect of life.
>Realistically women don't want ugly men no matter what they do. I'd wager even average ones are completely invisible, from what I see.
oh shut the fuck up with that "only the top 0/00001% of giggachadds are having sex with dogshit 0/10 girls" meme about how normal average people don't exist it's only incels and chads.
try looking outside the internet's incel echo chambers for once.
Brother, I actually spend quite a lot of time outside, I don't look at internet statistics because it's all noise to me. I'm talking about real life, where I can see the defeat in men's eyes with my own. I am voluntarily celibate myself because I just don't see much dignity in those games that lead to suffering, life has more to offer. In fact, if I were to spend all of my waking time exclusively on my activities, it would still be not enough, that's how much you can do outside of relationships and all that.
I advocate for celibacy for men who don't get it naturally, so that they can focus on something they have control over. The difficult part is that I know how to get busy, most people don't.
>I'm talking about real life, where I can see the defeat in men's eyes with my own.
what do you do for a living, and for fun
I work in a video game quality assurance department, it's a job. In my free time I go on bicycle trips, read books, travel occasionally, draw in my sketchbook. I don't actually play video games, it's only when I work. I'm trying to learn how to swim and play a piano, I watch movies, I like to go on long walks as well in nature. Nothing interesting but fills my time, obviously I'll find more activities later in life.
so it's your coworkers who all walk around dead-eyed and incel-lipped defeated by the evils of women?
game testers are hardly normies bro, they're next door to speed runners.
I mean, I engage with people outside of my work too, you could say the video game guys are the most depressed ones, yes.
Personally speaking I don't see women as inherently evil, cruel or anything like that. They can be pleasant to spend time with, in a casual manner like talk about whatever. I like them. I think the romance stuff is too much though. Women never show interest in me so that's a good cue for keeping it simple. I don't really see why I or anyone for that matter should pursue something like that. When I see a woman showing strong interest in some other guy in a place where I happen to be, to me that seems to be exactly how it should be at all times. I don't buy all this "women are shy" nonsense, because I see with my own eyes how they act around men they're not indifferent towards.
>Women never show interest in me so th
okay well one post ago no offense you kinda described yourself as boring loner who likes to ride his bike alone and go hiking alone and watch movies alone and go on long walks alone and other solo hobbies so either you're trying to impress the wrong kind of woman with your homebody lifestyle or you need to change your lifestyle a bit so you're doing stuff with friends or casual acquaintances at least most weekends.
>okay well one post ago no offense you kinda described yourself as boring loner
Yes, that's exactly who I am, a boring loner. To other people I mean, for me everything I do has meaning and value. I hang out casually from time to time, go for a beer with some friends. This is why I said that some men are not built for it, I'm a loner and the loner type will never ever attract a normal woman. Should I despair over it? I do miss that part of my humanity, but it's something that has to be accepted, a handicap of some sort.
or you could not be a introvert loner your whole life
I got over that when I was like 19
Of course I always prefer a night in with just movies and some tea and some edibles.
But life is about getting out your comfort zone and making other people happy and trying new things you might like and not always relying on that comfy blanket of being indoors away from everyone in the dark.
I'm currently 36, I've never slept with a woman even though my lifestyle is pretty active overall. Your advice about leaving the comfort zone is good, I just think if anything was meant to be different, it would've been by now. Women prefer a certain kind of men, that's all there is to it, me interacting with anyone more doesn't change my nature. In what way would I be more attractive to anyone by being socially active? I would just be the same guy, just around people. Nobody cares man
>In what way would I be more attractive to anyone by being socially active?
Girls are more social by nature and especially if you're gonna date younger girls they want their social needs met in a relationship as well as their emotional and sexual needs.
Not every girl is gonna drag you out to loud night clubs with 15 of her closest friends every weekend, but in my experience even the most shut-in girl still likes to hang out with friends every now and then.
A healthy couple will also give each other space she has her time with the girls and you have time with the boys, but it's still expected that at least early on in the dating/relationship process you bring her over to hang out with your friends and sort of parade her around and then she does the same with you and her group of friends. Maybe you start playing match maker between your own friends, but I'm getting ahead of myself here.
but like I said, once you start dating kinda olderish post college age anyways where people have jobs and responsibilities and partying is less important, it's not as important to have a busy social life. A woman your age, my age as well I'm also mid-late 30s, won't give that much of a shit about playing mario kart with a bunch of loud nerds until 1AM or go out clubbing or whatever. But if you're gonna try and date like 19 year olds you gotta show them a good time.
Of course, I get what you're saying, I just think showing someone a good time is not so much a learned skill as it is something genetic. My genetics make me a loner, an extroverted person will have less inhibitions, which leads to more entertaining encounters. I don't even feel that comfortable around people, I'm good enough at managing everything where I can still socialize well, I just never stand out, I like to sip beer and listen. If anybody asks me what I do, I don't have anything to say that would be of interest to them. Life isn't like a movie where there is just one person that really gets me and we get together and all that shit, in reality nobody cares and there is no one out there for me. Still, I don't feel animosity towards anyone, I just try to be busy to not feel too lonely, or rather to supress that feeling.
Fuck you stoner bitch I don't want to make other people happy. Hippie
If mans has no interest w the opposite sex, then it prob shows. i don't think anyone would be inclined to be in a relationship where their partner doesnt have any interest in them. that's kinda sad ngl.
also, i dont think most women even like the "swole" body. maybe lean, yea, or a bit chubby, but not like. muscular. also a muscular body isn't very comfy to cuddle from what I hear. it only looks nice, is all.
THO, i will say that the demographic of women i vaguely interact with are the type who like "tumblr sexymen" so. uh. yea.
Appearance/looks is what girls notice when you first walk in a room but it's not what's gonna get you a gf or free no strings attached pussy or the love of your life or anything.
A lot of incels actually look half decent the problem is that they're antisocial freaks raised by cartoon frogs and porn sites so they don't know how to approach le female & have a normal-ass conversation. Elliot Roger wasn't bad looking at all by any means, as an example.
That 32 yo poster who never seen any vagina who used to post around here, looks great as well, his personality is fuckin terminal though.
You guys seem to mistake a basic ability to initiate a conversation with an ability to seduce. Talking is actually quite simple most of the time, I've talked to hundreds of women and that never changed anything, it was just a way to pass time. Most people can strike a conversation very easily, that's not what leads to more, unless you want a friend, sure. I know a virgin who has a lot of woman friends, nothing changed for him.
you seem to not know what context is, of course I was talking about flirting
Thanks, but I never posted a picture of me, so I don't know how you know that.
Dating app stats. Women saying how much money they want their husband to have bare minimum
How do you do it then?
>dating app stats
Dating apps arent real life and thinfs wont work on dating apps like they do in real life. Of COURSE itll be more superficial. It doesnt mean rules change in normal social engagements
>how do you do it then
Do you have any friends? If so, explain to me step by step how to make a friend like Ive never made one before. Im talking what hobbies do I need, what style clothes should I wear, what do I talk about? How do I approach someone randomly and become friends?
How did you make all your friends?
Surely you realize that this is an entirely unscriptable, highly subjectice, happenstance, right place right time with the right social chemistry and bonding on common experience in the moment thing.
Getting women is exactly the same. You meet in common ground, bond over common experience, hit it off socially, and it advances from there. There is no objective step by step thing anyone can tell you. It is simply:
1. Be able to have a social interaction.
2. Maximize your exposure to social situations where you will meet like minded women with whom you can potentially connect.
3. Dont freak out and be nervous and weird.
From there its RNG.
>But ive never made a friend in my life
This is the only time i actually would say youre fuckin done for.
>Dating apps arent real life and thinfs wont work on dating apps like they do in real life
what did you mean by this
Not really complicated...
Theres going to be a massive difference in perception and impression between a situation where its just the pictures and the small bio you choose to judge you on vs. Meeting someone in real life thats more fluid and has a thousand variables that go into how you come across and what people think of you.
People can be attracted to personalities, connection, humour, general vibe.. youre narrowing everything you have at your disposal to just 2 things in a dating app to get likes. If youre weak in those 2 things, of course youre going to be severely disadvantaged on a dating app in Ways you wont necessarily been irl where your whole general impression may actually intrigue someone.
oh in that sense yeah, I was like that when I first started dating I was extremely flirty and cool when texting them but then we'd actually meet up and I'd be le shy boy and I'd be lucky if there was a second date after that
It's less likely these days, but people can also still like catfish you with their appearance not using totally fake pictures but just endless filters and cheating with angles
but it's not like dating apps and real life are totally completely removed from one another, like you're still sending words to a girl who's really into horror movies or whatever.
Fr. I just feel it needs to be said not even necessarily for you but the lurkers who may not be posting.
And to whom may need to hear it:
I got a strong feeling for someone really nervous in general about dating whos never done it before and doesnt know where to start socially will see dating apps as the easiest fastest most accessible way to jump in, but if they dont know how to use their pictures and bio properly, theyre gonna fail miserably off the hop, and thats gonna discourage them and cause them to self disqualify when its like, not even a realistic depiction of how things would play out if they were in actual dynamic social circles where it isnt just "face. Bio. Judge."
>ot even a realistic depiction of how things would play out if they were in actual dynamic social circles where it isnt just "face. Bio. Judge."
Isn't it though?
People are still gonna show up with that same face of theirs and then like blurt out a Futurama quote very loudly as a way to introduce themselves and that's their first impression forever
You have nearly 8 billion first impressions to make.
That certainly isn't the only reason, a lot of women nowadays are losers as well, expecting the world of men while offering nothing in return. They even embraced the incel rhetoric themselves and have their own offshoot branch of it going on.
We are currently experiencing inflation in the economy, and hoeflation in the dating market. Your friend is right, we have to work 20 times harder than our grandfathers to get women 20 times worse than our grandmothers.
The be attractive meme has some truth to it but never chase them. No woman is worth the chase. If she's cool with you be cool back. If she is a shit stirrer, drop her. If you're considering a relationship with her, see what she brings to the table and if she's worth the trouble.
I was with my ex for 5 years before she left me a little less than a month before our wedding date. Since then I have my own place and am paying down debts and saving and back in the gym. She's back home with her parents and I learned a lot more from it. For me to let someone back into my life they're going to have to bring something to the table or help me keep my peace, not destroy it.
No, women are free to demand higher quality men. Of course, they don't always know what they want unless you show them.
I can't really articulate how I feel about this at the moment, but I went out yesterday and had a great time with women who were strangers to me, and out of their group, it was the hottest one that showed me the most affection. And she was beautiful, physically and emotionally. There was so much life in her eyes.
Most of you have what it takes to cause a girl to feel madly in love with you, but you feel so uncomfortable with yourself, you feel so less, that you never show her who you are. Don't think of it as an ugly speaking to a pretty, don't think of it as a less speaking to a more. You're a soul speaking to a soul, connecting at a level so fundamental it's beyond your physical self. If she truly sees you, and you truly see her, it's a moment of beauty that transcends the physical.
You just have to let go of your fears and insecurities. If you connect with someone at that level, nothing else matters. That's love
Its wealth inequality. Women get more sharing Chad than they do with small time brad.
the assortative dating market is obviously broken I've been trying to like meet like for 20 years and my best chance was moving hundreds of miles away