They are temporary by nature, in the long run no they do not work. As a stopgap measure before moving in together it can work out if both partners are dedicated and thinking long term about their future though.
Only if the some/all of the following criteria are met
1: you have met in person before and the LDR is temporary until you move in together
2: you have plans to see each other - concrete plans thare are actively being worked towards
3: you really line up in a lot of ways, and I mean a lot of special interests, a niche inside a niche, like something to really make you stand out. i.e. you didn't just meet on WoW, you met while waiting for a rare spawn while achievement hunting in WoW.
4: you aren't a jealous or distrusting person and can dismiss any thoughts of inadequacy or bullshit that she might be cheating on you
4b: you won't blame yourself for not "being there" physically, i.e. when she's walking to class or taking the bus to work or whatever, and guys are harassing her, you need to be able to not beat yourself up for not being there
5:her friends/family know about you and think you're great, and won't actively try to push her to just download tinder and get someone else (this can be literally one night of using the app, rejecting like 20-30 guys who were too pushy, and deciding to "just start hanging out with" "one cool gamer buddy" - fast forward a couple months and you're completely replaced and there was nothing you can do about it.)
6: frequent, consistent communication. That doesn't mean 16 hours every day. This means a good morning a goodnight, even if you only have 5 minutes, definitely talk with and contact them every day. And try to spend time together when you can. Whatever you can do together. Online gaming, watching anime together, streaming movies and stuff for each other, just being on the phone while they're studying or working on something. Video call for events like birthdays and holidays if you can't be there.
It's difficult, especially with timezones differences, and depending on how far. I've had great relationships where we're a 4 hour drive away because I could visit every couple weekends. If it was plane ticket distance, idk.
My wife and I were long distance. We dated for like 4 months, I didn't have much going on in my life so I moved to her. It can work if you or your partner aren't tied to where you live, like if you are working entry level and don't own your home. She was about an 8 hour drive from me.
They can, but they generally don't. In order to work out, they require a substantially narrower "cinderella zone" than a conventional relationship. That is to say, things that will be recoverable in a regular relationship will kill a LDR; much more has to go right for the relationship to survive.
Guys who go for LDRs are frustrating because it represents a moronic mentality. Instead of front-loading the hard part (failure and rejection) to winnow things down to a real relationship that might survive, they get laser focused on one girl and fight tooth and nail to "make it work," passing up other opportunities and altering their own preferences in the process.
It's like buying scratch-off lottery tickets. It's a sucker's bet. I can sort of understand doing it if you already have a serious relationship with someone and you need to go LDR for a short period of time (definitely <1 year, preferably <3 months). But shit like, where up to now you've just been edating and have never met in person, or where the bulk (or all) of your interactions have been online/via text? That's really, really hard to make work.
No they don't in my experience. I've tried it twice and it never worked out. I know of a guy who tried it with a girl on the complete opposite side of the country, and I think he still misses her honestly. It's always better to be closer in my opinion. Tough call.
In the long run, in my opinion, no. They almost always end up being a waste of time and they distract people from opportunities that may end up working out a lot better in the end.
The entire concept of "long distance relationship" is flawed and should have never been normalized. Regular physical interaction, even without considering sex, is fundamental. How some people are able to conceive a romantic relationship without such an essential element is beyond me. A prolonged period in the short term without physical interaction (e.g. a couple months) is only acceptable if the relationship is alteady well established, but not otherwise.
Many people claim that "if two people truly love each other, they will do whatever it takes to make it work!", but how on earth does moving close enough to see each other in person not count among that " whatever it takes"? Barring physical or financial impossibility, I cannot imagine how two people who "truly love each other" won't attempt to close the physical gap between them. As harsh as it may sound, I believe that such people do not actually love each other.
While I realized that such things cannot be truly generalized, I can anecdotally say that ALL long-distance relationships I've seen which involved people I know ended up disastrously. Long distance relationships are simply not worth it.
I've been long distance with my boyfriend for 4 years. We have met 2 times IRL, but not until 3 years of long distance. It works if you both want it to work, and you both have the same laid back lifestyle. I doubt a person that parties, and does a lot of social things on a daily basis would want to date long distance or even be a good person to start a long distance relationship to begin with. We're soon to be married, and going to break the distance soon through a spousal visa.
It probably is a bad idea if you can easily get an IRL partner though. Due to my beliefs and certain morals finding a guy IRL is very hard 🙂
I've had some decent LDRs, and simply because they've failed doesn't mean it's the distance necessarily. Actually now that I think about it the major ones were past the point of LDR by the time we broke up so that's my two cents.
if both people want it the same amount and the end goal is to get together, yes.
But it is a trial by fire. no casual dating in ldr. Its a realm for the serious only and it fucks up people who think it will be easy.
only if they are both neets
No
They are temporary by nature, in the long run no they do not work. As a stopgap measure before moving in together it can work out if both partners are dedicated and thinking long term about their future though.
I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. It isn't ideal. But its better than having nobody to talk to or just talking to randos.
Only if the some/all of the following criteria are met
1: you have met in person before and the LDR is temporary until you move in together
2: you have plans to see each other - concrete plans thare are actively being worked towards
3: you really line up in a lot of ways, and I mean a lot of special interests, a niche inside a niche, like something to really make you stand out. i.e. you didn't just meet on WoW, you met while waiting for a rare spawn while achievement hunting in WoW.
4: you aren't a jealous or distrusting person and can dismiss any thoughts of inadequacy or bullshit that she might be cheating on you
4b: you won't blame yourself for not "being there" physically, i.e. when she's walking to class or taking the bus to work or whatever, and guys are harassing her, you need to be able to not beat yourself up for not being there
5:her friends/family know about you and think you're great, and won't actively try to push her to just download tinder and get someone else (this can be literally one night of using the app, rejecting like 20-30 guys who were too pushy, and deciding to "just start hanging out with" "one cool gamer buddy" - fast forward a couple months and you're completely replaced and there was nothing you can do about it.)
6: frequent, consistent communication. That doesn't mean 16 hours every day. This means a good morning a goodnight, even if you only have 5 minutes, definitely talk with and contact them every day. And try to spend time together when you can. Whatever you can do together. Online gaming, watching anime together, streaming movies and stuff for each other, just being on the phone while they're studying or working on something. Video call for events like birthdays and holidays if you can't be there.
It's difficult, especially with timezones differences, and depending on how far. I've had great relationships where we're a 4 hour drive away because I could visit every couple weekends. If it was plane ticket distance, idk.
All relationships are long distance until you live together. It's the time being separated what matters.
What a dumb take lol.
Mine worked but we had met in person before multiple times. And after a year he moved in with me.
My wife and I were long distance. We dated for like 4 months, I didn't have much going on in my life so I moved to her. It can work if you or your partner aren't tied to where you live, like if you are working entry level and don't own your home. She was about an 8 hour drive from me.
They can, but they generally don't. In order to work out, they require a substantially narrower "cinderella zone" than a conventional relationship. That is to say, things that will be recoverable in a regular relationship will kill a LDR; much more has to go right for the relationship to survive.
Guys who go for LDRs are frustrating because it represents a moronic mentality. Instead of front-loading the hard part (failure and rejection) to winnow things down to a real relationship that might survive, they get laser focused on one girl and fight tooth and nail to "make it work," passing up other opportunities and altering their own preferences in the process.
It's like buying scratch-off lottery tickets. It's a sucker's bet. I can sort of understand doing it if you already have a serious relationship with someone and you need to go LDR for a short period of time (definitely <1 year, preferably <3 months). But shit like, where up to now you've just been edating and have never met in person, or where the bulk (or all) of your interactions have been online/via text? That's really, really hard to make work.
I think they can, but they should be temporary. A lack of proximity places a strain on a relationship. They're not ideal.
No they don't work
No they don't in my experience. I've tried it twice and it never worked out. I know of a guy who tried it with a girl on the complete opposite side of the country, and I think he still misses her honestly. It's always better to be closer in my opinion. Tough call.
A waste of time and effort if you’re not moving sooner or later ig.
Never worked for me. Irl stuff is way better.
In the long run, in my opinion, no. They almost always end up being a waste of time and they distract people from opportunities that may end up working out a lot better in the end.
The entire concept of "long distance relationship" is flawed and should have never been normalized. Regular physical interaction, even without considering sex, is fundamental. How some people are able to conceive a romantic relationship without such an essential element is beyond me. A prolonged period in the short term without physical interaction (e.g. a couple months) is only acceptable if the relationship is alteady well established, but not otherwise.
Many people claim that "if two people truly love each other, they will do whatever it takes to make it work!", but how on earth does moving close enough to see each other in person not count among that " whatever it takes"? Barring physical or financial impossibility, I cannot imagine how two people who "truly love each other" won't attempt to close the physical gap between them. As harsh as it may sound, I believe that such people do not actually love each other.
While I realized that such things cannot be truly generalized, I can anecdotally say that ALL long-distance relationships I've seen which involved people I know ended up disastrously. Long distance relationships are simply not worth it.
No.
I've been long distance with my boyfriend for 4 years. We have met 2 times IRL, but not until 3 years of long distance. It works if you both want it to work, and you both have the same laid back lifestyle. I doubt a person that parties, and does a lot of social things on a daily basis would want to date long distance or even be a good person to start a long distance relationship to begin with. We're soon to be married, and going to break the distance soon through a spousal visa.
It probably is a bad idea if you can easily get an IRL partner though. Due to my beliefs and certain morals finding a guy IRL is very hard 🙂
I've had some decent LDRs, and simply because they've failed doesn't mean it's the distance necessarily. Actually now that I think about it the major ones were past the point of LDR by the time we broke up so that's my two cents.