Hey Anons. 21/m
I am planning on killing myself because I see no value in my future or in my current life.
I have no real life friends, spend most days at home, no partner. What online friends I do have seemingly despise me and I don't enjoy my hobbies anymore.
i don't think i'm a horrible person. but if theres any advice other than "go outside" please try and convince me.
i take long walks and try to visit public places often but peoppe just seem turned off by any sort of conversation. Im not too bad looking either...
ty in advance
i wish i could die but im too much of a coward
>If there's any other advice other than "go outside"
I'd give you a thorough answer but I already know how you'd respond based on that statement and your half-assed attempt at connecting with people unsolicited in public. You've put the literal bare minimum into improving your position, unsurprisingly it did not magically fix you, and now you probably want some magical answer about how you can feel better immediately at the very computer chair you're sitting in, no?
i've definitely made an effort using other manners
i work out. i'm not fat and lazy. but surprise surprise even trying to talk to people at the gym, school campus, etc, is extremely difficuly now.
i don't want a magic bandaid. i want a reason not to kill myself.
Then you probably need to go to counseling, and you probably need to take up a legitimate hobby. Getting under a barbell isn't gonna make you happy, but I'd try going to a legit fight gym of some kind, like boxing, muay thai, etc., and get into sparring and maybe even competition.
You need an objective, a goal, a mountain to climb, that's the reason to live. Without this, people fall into depression because we are designed to stay productive.
Good to hear you gym, that's really good, I thought you were one of those hopeless fucks that posts here and refuses to put any work in, but you actually seem like you can save yourself.
Don't kill yourself, mom would be sad, and you wouldn't be able to go make something yours and be the best in your craft at something you love.
i'm working towards at lrast a bachelors as i do gym work and freelsnce but my personal situation between family. what online friends indo have, and my cripping mental state is honestly driving me insane.
Do you know what you even want to do? Sounds like you're just in college to be in college.
The crippling mental state is what I would focus on fixing. If you are dealing with a serious trauma or something, other things should take a back seat to fixing that.
Unironically try meditating, introspecting, analyzing yourself in a deeply uncomfortable way. And go to a fight gym I'm dead serious, go get your ass kicked and kick some ass, let that emotion out in a controlled environment, it's super beneficial.
i am not sure if there are any fight gyms in my local area.
Computer science is pretty dope there's a good future in that for sure.
There's gotta be one somewhere. I recommend it highly because hard sparring and learning technique is super visceral and exciting, really takes the dull out of your week and it's a great way to blow off steam and learn about yourself. Just a tip, go for the dingy shitty looking fight gym where coach is yelling at everyone and dishes out nicknames, if you do manage to find some, and if you're interested, they're just better.
What honestly stopped me from killing myself is realizing I’ll die anyway, might as well make something out of my death like saving someone or doing good. That and the gym.
for what? i'm not going to make any sort of impact on the world. i'm not gonna be the next bill gates. that ship has sailed.
i've tried saving others it lead to nothing but bad things. I watched someone i love kill themself and its stuck eith me since then.
You could still go into medicine, or a biologist and work on genetics , or a mechanical engineer that specializes in prosthetics and change the world for people
i genuinely wish I could stomach it. i genuinely wish i could because kt's interesting
What can’t you stomach?
the blood. the requirement to have to work with the bodily functions of a human. bad enough smells mske me retch
Oh yeah that washes people out.
You could do lab work though. My professor has spent 40 years mucking about with genetics to help better the world. He has like over a dozen publications in major medical journals that are cited constantly and used by others. He didn’t start his phd until he was older and sick of working construction
And he didn’t even peak in output until he was like 65. That’s when shit came together for him
its extremely interesting and iblove genetics but then i have to worry about pricing and where i'd live and how i'll pay off the debt. its tiresome
He makes six figures as a research prof at a state school
If you go into pharmaceuticals you’ll be fine, do a five year program where you graduate with an mba if you are worried
Try God before you try suicide, even if you're the most fedora atheist ever you have nothing to lose, all you have to do is ask him for help
Value is not produced at the societal-contribution level. It comes from a sense of intrinsic meaning, and that meaning doesn't come to anybody naturally. Most people have to spend their whole lives looking for it, some find it early and some are born into a sort of expectation that ends up defining them.
What I mean is, you're lacking meaning, which makes you feel valueless. You don't enjoy your hobbies, but what are your hobbies? Are they things you once found yourself learning from, growing through and always finding more to learn about? Or were they video games and music that you just don't consume as much?
Boredom comes and goes. Same with happiness, pain, and every other emotion. To decide you'd rather die is to sink yourself believing the entire sea is a storm and not just the part you happen to be in right now.
i don't really find any "intrinsic" value in my existence. i wake up to be self-serving, do waht i need to do then sleep snd contonue for the next 40 years. what is the fucking point if ill be alone for most of that time too.
my hobbies included games but were not solely that. biking, swimming, drawing.
I was in the same boat when I was 21, I had been trapped at home with an illness and “homeschooled” by a mother experiencing psychotic episodes who could barely take care of herself.
At 21 I was ready to give up an due, I had no friends, nothing to be proud of and so lonely.
Life got better, incrementally but there were people over the past decade+ I wouldn’t give up knowing or have known to make the pain go away
Get a job. That’s all you have to do.
>21/m I am planning on killing myself because I see no value in my future or in my current life.
Wait at least 4-9 years first bro. Your early 20s suck. I've been there. 23-24 is where it starts to get better.
i hear you, but i alwo look forward for my current point in life and i really cant see it.
of course you're lacking certain info, but i thank you for the thought.
Seek help from real people
I’m 35 and it’s over for me. I’m broke and have no future. All of my dreams are dead, it’s too late to do any of them. Doors have shut that can never be reopened. I’ve spent my entire life dealing with the disadvantages and consequences of my single parent’s debilitating mental illness. Everything from homelessness to chronic lack of food to violent schizo episodes. It has unceasingly sapped my will, my body and my finances. Whenever I’ve made progress, some factor out my control has always destroyed it. Even in times where I was doing everything right. And now it’s too late to do the things I’ve always wanted to. If your dreams can’t come true then what’s the point? I’ve had enough.
you havent even started life yet anon, how do you think that this is all life has to offer when you haven't even been on this planet for a quarter of a century
becsuse of all the limiting factors of my situation.
it /reslly/ doesnt make the wait worth it.
i'm telling you this man. i had pretty much the same life when i was a teen. i was homeschooled all throughout my childhood and barely interacted with people. the best way to pull you away from that spiral is to TRY to put yourself out there. last year i got involved and put myself out there for people, it's gonna suck like shit the first few times if you get rejected from people, but honestly what do you have to lose? humans are not creatures meant to just sit and wallow by themselves.
If you're plan to kill yourself, it would be nice to spend all the money you have first. An offline meeting with yourself. Take measures to not let your body be found. If you're someone immune to delusion, you'll have a hard time living.
Though, this is all we have of life. Once you die, you're not going to wake up again. Everything with form rots. Might as well wait it out. Some interesting things are bound to happen. If they don't, you'll mind will rot accordingly to handle disappointment. If you don't want to wait, the world and time is indifferent. If you do, the result is the same.
Dealing with the human psyche, you can wipe away a lot of dirt, only to uncover its true form, unalterable. For some, it's equivalent to a brain tumor.
Best of luck anon, no matter what you chose, the reasons you went with it are the most important.
last second deleted "you're planning". makes it comical now
aftet dleeping and getting a good nights rest ibstill feel no different.
I zwant to thank those who gave legitimate advice. Thank you very much.
anon, join cooking classes, you'll find nice people there